It feels like many transandrophobic people (I am NOT talking about trans women specifically. Holy shit, the fact that I have to say this is insane. This is about anyone who is transandrophobic, cis women, cis men, trans women, some trans men and everyone in-between or outside of those categories) feel very entitled to our bodies and to us. (Again, I am not stating that the feeling of entitlement towards other people is something trans women don't have to deal with. I know you do. Feel free to add your experiences. Perspectives only help a discussion.
There's the focus on our reproductive organs, on how we "lose the ability to have children" if we start testosterone, on how we are "removing healthy wombs" and "destroying our fertility". We are failing our purpose as the "women" transphobes see us as. Be that conservatives or terfs or sadly, in many cases, our families and partners. Especially those two groups love to hurt trans men and transmasc people in that way. Because we "can't give them children", "can't give them grandkids". Because our purpose in their eyes is to be incubators and by transitioning, we not only fail that "purpose", we defy it.
Unless, of course, a trans man or transmasculine person decides that he, in fact, does want to get pregnant. Suddenly he is, at best, the topic of a lot of sensationalist media and mpreg jokes. He gets treated like a woman or a freak or both, especially by the healthcare system. He has to at least partially detransition too. Which often gets used as a method of control, too. A trans man that gets pregnant, whether he wants to or not, is extremely vulnerable, he can't take t, he is very likely to be extremely dysphoric and he is also subject to healthcare bans, sometimes because of bans for any pregnant person seeking healthcare, sometimes specifically because he is a man and the healthcare system completely disregars male pregnancy. Of course, transphobes use all of that against us. As someone who never wants to have anything to do with pregnancy, I can't say a lot about the experiences of pregnant men and trans masc people. I am merely scratching the surface and am by no means an expert on this.
Another way in which people feel entitled to our bodies is the whole "daughter" thing. Being a daughter is great! That is, for people with feminine identities. For trans men and transmascs, being a daughter usually is anything but. For everything regarding that topic, the transphobic view, in summary, would be the contents of the book "Irreversible damage: the transgender craze seducing our daughters". Most trans people have probably heard of it, it is an incredibly transphobic and vile book written for parents of trans boys and young transmascs. It is essentially fearmongering and "How to force my child into detransition 101". There are far better summaries of that book and to be honest, I don't have the energy to say anything about it right now.
We are expected to be available sexually, to put our needs behind those of others sexual desires, to not transition because that would mean that we "lose all that makes us attractive". Most transandrophobes see femininity as attractive, see our pre-transition bodies as desirable. The exception for that would be that a lot of transandrophobes are very much into dicks. To them, our previous anatomy is "just a hole", a means to an end to use us, but not something that's actually attractive, unless they're fetishising chasers. In their eyes, we become the worst kind of men: men without the one thing they are attracted to, a penis, that is. Non surgery natal dicks, that is. The vitriol transandrophobes have when trying to keep us from getting top surgery and starting t because that would make us unattractive is only rivaled by the disgust they exhibit when they talk about bottom surgery. How dare we wanting to have the holy dick™. They spread lies, tell us how disgusting we are, how abhorrent, how "horrible" the results of ftm bottom surgery are, how it can "never make a real dick". (which is untrue. The results are usually pretty amazing. I love science). And it usually is a strange mix of "the holy dick™" and chasers who fetishises our pre-surgery anatomy.
That kind of stuff doesn't always come from conservatives. Pretty much of that in progressive spaces too! We are also supposed to shield women. To make men better. To be "the good men". Dating material if needed, cause cis men are yucky. Cannon fodder for hate when necessary. Educational material for other men. A gotcha whenever a bathroom debate comes up. It doesn't matter if we actually want those thing or if we are safe doing those things because as soon as we don't, we are traitors, we are failures and often, we are either "disgusting men-things that can be hated freely" or "disgusting failed women that can be hated freely". We are men when it suits them and women when it suits them, whatever makes it possible to hurt us more at the moment. Which is a very trans experience, regardless of gender.
We are ignored unless we are useful and tolerated as long as we are good tools. When it comes to transandrophobes, we are not supposed to have a will of our own, we are servants. We should do what we are supposed to and shut up, don't complain, don't speak unless spoken too.
In the end, many people who have read about trans misogyny or experienced transmisogyny probably recognise a lot of this stuff. Because transmisogyny and transmisandry are two sides of the same coin, that count being transphobia. Both are distinct, shitty experiences that have the same root cause and follow similar patterns.
