#truly absurd

[freelyunder]

how did i miss that the brew is named IQ

[banannabethchase]

Jury's Out

~

Damn it December day 17: Jury duty, but make it holiday

(I truly do not know what I was on when I came up with this bizarre prompt)

~

“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.” Matt holds up the paper. “Look at this! Jury duty! Two days after Christmas!”

“That is, like, the most normal thing you’ve ever held up in my face.” Nick frowns at him. “Wait, does that say Matthew Buck?”

“Huh?” Matt grabs it and takes a peek. He’d read through the dates in a fury. He hadn’t taken the chance to actually read his name. “Oh. That says Matthew Buck.”

“I think they may have, like,” Nick squints. “Yeah, see?” He points. “This isn’t your social security number.”

“Oh! You’re right – wait, how do you know my social.”

“Don’t ask,” Nick say, and Matt would press if Nick hadn’t been right. “Anyway, I think they messed you up with some other dude.”

Twenty minutes and a phone call later, Matt’s off the phone with the office that schedules.

“Good news and bad news,” Matt says. “Good news, we were right. That jury summons was for some guy who lives in an apartment in the county. Bad news, they figured out I haven’t had jury duty in 20 years.”

“Lovely,” Nick says. “Now you can celebrate the day after Christmas without getting dressed.”

“Merry effing Christmas to me.”

[elephantbitterhead]

a beautiful confluence of events: my absurd number of perennial seedlings ready to be planted out + driest UK spring in more than a century + well-established plants also wilting in this dire situation = slavey me toting watering cans 24/7

[thespoonisvictory]

buildmart discourse is so funny to me 

[charincharge]

Ok. *claps* Here is today’s plan!

We are going to be writing until our little fingers can’t write anymore. We are going to post the next IDWTW chapter later tonight, and then we are going to be off Tumblr until we finish ACOSF.

Sound good? Great 😂

[curiosity-killed]

There is something uniquely satisfying about wearing a long skirt and boots, especially if it’s a little muddy and you have to hike up your skirt and petticoats to keep them out of the muck and get to stomp your way across the yard

[1eos]

😐 why is this man so deadset on setting a child on fire

[mysmistree]

I imagine you are asleep, presently departed from a solid world for a non-solid one in which physics is more of a suggestion. As is, admittedly, physics in the minds of some real-world underachievers.

And some real-world overachievers.

Perhaps physics simply is a suggestion.

In which case the only difference between being awake and asleep is the difference between land and water,

bar that you can dry instantly upon leaving.

That's rather handy.