When the sky cries
Drabble on the angst @tsundere-model
The first hint was an obvious one. It was impossible to miss. Band aids covering bruises and cuts he’d never expected seeing. Red marring usually softly pink lips.
“Woah, Senacchi, what’s up with that? Got in a fight or something?” he laughed in a carefree tone, a hand patting Izumi’s small shoulder a couple of times. “So even you can do manly things once in a while~”
He figured acting worried would only make the other avoid the conversation altogether, so he might as well laugh it off.
“What’s that even supposed to mean? I’m a guy too, you know” Izumi huffed, rolling his eyes ever so lightly. He didn’t run off, though “It wasn’t a fight though. I just… hit myself with a door. I was tired.”
That was the second hint. His worry growing deeper.
There was no way the Izumi Sena would let his face get hurt in such a stupid way. Kaoru had already seen him dropping into the weirdest positions and using all sort of things to guard his face from harm. It would often seem as if Izumi cared more about his face than about his life…
Which wasn’t the problem right now.
“No way~ Just how tired do you have to be to hurt your face like that? Isn’t it worth like a billion yen or something?” he tried to push the topic a bit more, remembering something silly he’d heard Izumi say once, a long time ago.
“You sure remember the silliest things, Kao-kun” Izumi sighed, crooking an eyebrow and looking up at him. He didn’t sounded mad, just puzzled.
That look lasted but a second, a self-conscious movement making him lower his face and stride ahead right after, leaving Kaoru to his own thoughts.
--
It really was a strange sight.
That of Izumi’s face… looking not so perfect.
Turning around to give him of the handouts, as he was in the seat right in front of him, the morning sun hit his face diagonally, making shadows across his cheeks.
This was a familiar sight. Izumi turning around like this, a paper on his hand, the sun making him look almost divine.
Except today, the usually perfect shapes of his face were broken. His lip a bit raised up as it was inflamed around the red cut on the right side. His nose lightly bruised with a bandage of top that made him look a bit like a trouble child… a small cutesy band aid on his cheek that seemed almost out of place in a boy. Almost.
He’d never realized –not until now anyway- of how used he was to Izumi always looking right.
It just felt like the natural order of things. Like something that would never change.
The sun would always rise up, and Izumi would always look perfectly pretty.
Yet today, the order was broken, and he was left staring blankly ahead.
“Kao-kun…” returning to himself, Kaoru saw nothing but white in front of his eyes. Well, white with a bit of kanji written on it.
Blinking a couple of times, he realize Izumi had just hit him with the handout, probably trying to get his attention. The paper now lowered, he could see beyond it, the not so amused face of his best friend. He was frowning, lips pursed and blue eyes glaring. Kaoru’s own reflection still looking a bit lost from inside those perfect pools of blue.
“What you spacing out for? So annoying~” the phrase was so like Izumi, it made it obvious this wasn’t some daydream. It was the truth.
“Sorry, sorry~ Was thinking about something else~” he said, not really lying, yet not telling the truth. His fingers grasping at the paper in front of him.
Izumi sighed, lips pursing lightly. The wound in his lip opening just a bit… just enough to make his frown deepen.
“Idiot” he called, turning again so he could focus on his paper.
--
“Senacchi?” he called out, surprised at the sight of Izumi walking towards the front gate.
The sun was still high in the sky… Izumi was never out so early?
Waving off at Kanata, Kaoru rushed towards the small silver haired that had stopped walking to look up at him confused.
“What’s up? Why you out so early?” he asked, tilting his head lightly to the side.
“Mn. Nothing much” Izumi replied in a single breath, looking away as he talked.
He was lying.
That was the third hint.
“Well, if you’re free you should come with me to the arcade” he joked. Tested, actually.
“Mn… just for today” Izumi agreed.
That was the fourth hint.
Izumi was all too stoic to agree so easily… even if Knights’ usual practice was cancelled for some reason, Izumi would surely want to practice on his own.
“Then let’s go” he smiled, trying to ignore the growing dread inside of him.
--
“Man, you’re way too good at that dancing thing” Kaoru sighed, leaning back against a chair in a café not too far away from the arcade.
“You’re just too bad at it” Izumi smiled lightly. Just with half of his mouth –the one that wasn’t red and swollen and tainted with a scab. And it felt like he was only smiling so Kaoru wouldn’t worry.
“I’m actually surprised though” he decided to bring up, sitting up straight.
“Mn?”
“That you came here, instead of practicing at home or something. You’re always practicing” He said, as cheery and uncaring as he could manage to make his voice sound without it straining.
“Am I?” he asked back, staring at the cold water glass in front of him and rolling it around so the ice will hit against each other “Just today won’t hurt. I don’t think practicing today will make any difference”
That was the fifth one.
And he wasn’t going to wait for a sixth one.
“Why wouldn’t it? Did something happen?” he asked, tone dropping right away. Quite serious now.
“Huh? N-nothing, really” Izumi averted his gaze, raising his glass to take a sip. A bit too fast, the cold against the wound on his lip making him flinch.
“I can tell. Unlike you I have gotten into fights before, and I can definitely tell you didn’t hit a door. There are marks of knuckles on your face” he finally dropped.
They were at a café, waiting for their meal. Izumi couldn’t quite run away right now.
“… Stop it Kao-kun” Izumi asked, looking uncomfortable.
“I’ll stop when you tell me what happened”
“You wouldn’t understand” he hissed, a breathy tone in the back of his throat.
“Well I sure as hell can’t understand if you don’t tell me” he insisted.
It felt like Izumi might flee if he was given a chance. So he refused to give him some, leaning closer to him.
As he did, izumi curled around his bag. As if he was protecting something in it.
Reaching forward he yanked it away from the slender white hand of the model, a yelp and a cry, as Izumi tried to get it back to no avail.
He rummaged through izumi’s books and papers and so many useless things, and finally his eyes stopped on something.
A signed… filled out… drop out form.
I Izumi Sena, will officially drop out from Knights.
He could feel the blood draining from his face, as he looked up at Izumi. At that face that confirmed all his worries and dissipated none.
“Hey… Senacchi… w-what’s this?” he asked, lightly. A part of him still hoping it would be a joke. That at the very least, it wasn’t related to that pretty face being all broken.
Izumi didn’t answer.
“I asked you! What, is, this?” he asked again, more firmly, dropping izumi’s bag to the floor, its contents spilling right away. His now free hand reaching for Izumi’s wrist and tightening around it. “Tell me”
He hadn’t cared about a man this much in maybe forever.
He surely hadn’t cared about anyone, this much, for a while.
But he was trying. To make friends, to take care of them. Just like Izumi was trying in his own –wrong- way. He was sure.
“Just… talk to me, won’t you? We’re friends right?” he was trying so hard, and Izumi wouldn’t bulge, looking the other way.
The food came, so he released the captive hand and picked up the bag, and filled up with everything once more.
Izumi was crying without shedding a tear.
--
It was nothing but silence afterwards, but at least Izumi didn’t run off the second they were done paying.
Instead he walked silently by kaoru’s side, holding his bag tightly.
The sun had gone already, and the lights of the city didn’t let one single star be seen.
They walked side by side, the neon lights of the commercial district falling over them.
They crossed the street, through the many people, and bumped against each other as they walked to the bus station.
And as they left the commercial street, and the sounds of the night seemed to die out, he felt Izumi leaning just a bit closer.
They finally stopped, standing under the plastic ceiling of the bus stop.
They would have to wait a few more minutes.
“…I decided to leave” Izumi started, gently, so quiet it almost seemed as just another breath rather than words “I- I always ruin everything. I’m not a good idol… and I’ve certainly done more wrong than good for Knights I just…”
Kaoru remained silent. His hand reaching up to pat Izumi’s ever so soft hair.
Izumi’s body shook, as if he was crying. But there were still no tears in the blue of those eyes.
“Sakuma… Ritsu… wanted me to talk with Tsukinaga”
It felt so weird to hear their names rather than their nicknames, even for Kaoru himself, and he had to make an effort to put faces to the words.
“Your ex?” he decided to drop, since Izumi wouldn’t say anything else. Izumi nodded quickly.
“He wanted me… to ask him why he was sad or something. Like… I don’t know? Why should I know? Ever since he left I have no idea what he’s thinking”
Kaoru nodded, understandingly. He’d heard a tiny bit about it. A passing note about how Izumi’s first love –and first boyfriend- had never even kissed him.
“And then… Tsukinaga was listening and I… told him I was going to drop Knights… and then he got mad. And Ritsu too and…” izumi stopped for a second. He wasn’t making much sense by now, but Kaoru was trying his best to sew everything together “… Ritsu hit me.”
…
Kaoru could feel his blood boil.
“and he left, so I had to… take Tsukinaga to the infirmary… and he kept trying to tell me that he loves or something… but… I know he isn’t saying the truth. He told me… it was all my fault that Knights was doing badly. That I wasn’t good enough for his songs… I don’t think… I don’t think he ever… loved me?”
He could hear Izumi’s voice, breaking bit by bit.
He had no words to say.
Not at all.
He knew nothing of Knights. That much was true.
But he knew Izumi. He’d seen him since they entered the school. He’d seen him change… and always try his best. And now that they were finally friends, he knew how kind he could be.
Reaching around Izumi with an arm, he brought him close for a side-hug.
Izumi chuckled, and leaned on.
“I thought you didn’t like being close to men”
“Shut it. You’re crying, so this is an exception.”
“I’m not crying”
