#tubes tied

[kiddmandu1]

I struggle every day between my love for giving cream pies, and not wanting any more children

#TeamTubesTied

[estrellashouse]

Healthcare Bias

I wanted to share my recent experience because it’s been quite a journey, and I know others might relate. I’ve never wanted children, ever since I was a child myself. On top of that, I have a serious fear of pregnancy (tokophobia). Since I was a teenager, I’ve been set on getting sterilized. Two months ago, I started actively pursuing a bilateral salpingectomy. I went to a couple of consultations, but the doctors were dismissive, with that frustrating “I know you’ll change your mind” attitude. Unsurprisingly, they rejected my request.

Determined to be taken seriously, I got a letter from my therapist explaining my phobia and reasons for seeking sterilization. Armed with this, I approached another doctor. Despite still facing skepticism, the doctor agreed to schedule me for the surgery. Then, just three days before the scheduled date, I received a devastating call. The doctor canceled the surgery, citing his belief that I would regret my decision later in life and feel incomplete without children. It’s incredibly frustrating to encounter such attitudes in the medical community, where women’s choices about their own bodies are often undermined or dismissed.

I’m feeling disheartened, but I’m not giving up. I’m moving to Aus soon, and my search for a supportive doctor will continue.

This type of thing happens way too commonly within the medical community, not just to women who are and want to stay childfree, but to all women. Our feelings, pain, and concerns are often dismissed as “just hormones” or being “overdramatic.” It’s frustrating and dehumanizing when decisions about our own bodies and lives are undermined in this way. The assumption that we’ll change our mind about major life choices like parenthood or that our fears and preferences are insignificant only perpetuates the lack of trust and respect many of us experience in healthcare settings. It’s a systemic issue that needs to be addressed and changed. We need to be our own biggest advocate and not give up just because some doctors won’t help us. Our voices matter, and we deserve to be heard and respected in all aspects of our healthcare.

[reallesbiancorn]

Link🔗

[alex-221-0]

Females shouldn't have to already have children in order to get their tubes tied, that defeats the whole fucking point???

And they shouldn't have to GET THEIR HUSBAND'S PERMISSION. What the fuck??? It's their body? Jesus christ...

[lunaplush]

I got my tubes tied yesterday (I'm a 30 something year old...unmarried and child free by choice) I got my tubes tied because I'm 10000% sure i didn't want kids and I was sick of being on hormonal brith control ....my wonderful obgyn tied my tubes (minimal questions asked). The surgery went well and I was only in pain for a few hours after and this morning only feeling a little sore in the incision site.

[thescrumblingmidwife]

Are there cons to having your tubes tied? In what places/states would that be easiest as a young unmarried unchildhaving afab person?

Hi Anon!

This is one where I have to speak somewhat generally, because midwives do not perform tubal ligations. I know the procedure can be performed a couple of different ways, and that some of the methods have a longer recovery time than others.

Here are the cons that I can speak to:

Surgical risks - infection, reaction to anesthesia, hemorrhage (uncontrolled bleeding), perforation/trauma to other organs, fever, etc. These risks are not likely, but are possibilities that comes with any surgical procedure.

Surgical recovery - abdominal and/or shoulder pain, bloating, some bleeding at incision site or vaginally, vaginal discharge, risk of incision site infection, nausea/vomiting. Will need to take a few days off of work/school to recover.

Cost may be high or insurance coverage may be limited

Wait times or finding a provider to do it, especially if you are young

Permanent, if you ever change your mind

Regret is a possibility (around 12% report regret... goes down after age 30).

Believe it or not, it's still only 99% effective - there are hormonal birth control methods that are more effective! The failure rate is higher in people under age 30.

If a pregnancy does occur, it is more likely to be ectopic (somewhere other than in the uterus, usually in the tube), which is a medical emergency.

It does not prevent against STIs

Post-tubal ligation syndrome is a not-well-understood outcome in which some people have reported menopause-like symptoms, such as hot flashes, night sweats, a dry vagina, mood swings, trouble sleeping, a lower sex drive, and irregular periods; or heavy, painful periods. It's more likely in people under age 30.

That's a long list, and I don't want you to think I'm telling you that getting tubes tied is bad. It's great for most of the people who do it! But I believe in true informed consent, which means understanding all the possible outcomes.

---

This next part is assuming Anon is in the USA. Unfortunately, I cannot offer advice to anyone anywhere else in the world beyond suggesting you talk to your OBGYN.

As far as where to go, Anon, I'd start with your insurance plan if you have one. They should be able to provide you with a list of providers who are in-network who perform the procedure. From there it may be a matter of calling until you find someone who will see a patient your age. If your insurance covers it, and you could find a provider to do it, it could even potentially be free.

If you don't have insurance, I would start with PlannedParenthood:

Considering a tubal ligation? Learn where to get a tubal ligation, and how much a sterilization may cost.

If neither of those produces anything, there is a list compiled by an OBGYN from Rochester, NY, Dr. Fran Haydanek. Please read the caveats at the top of the document carefully so you understand what this list is and isn't.

Gynecologists who will perform a tubal sterilization

United States This list is for physicians who are willing to perform a tubal ligation on patients ages 21+, no matter their marital status

OK, Anon. Hope this helps!

[thingstrumperssay]

For those who’s going to try to get their tubes tied while birth control is still legal, you should probably still stock up on condoms too. (Assuming that they won’t bother to check your house for “suspicion of having birth control.) My mother-in-law got her tubes tied but she had 5 ectopic pregnancies afterwards. (Throughout many years.)

If you get your tubes tied and get an ectopic pregnancy as a result, you can’t get that thing removed since abortion being banned includes ectopic pregnancies and you will die. (Because they’re pro-life, y’see.)

[sleepy-bebby]