#tw ace discourse

[keebiecoo]

acephobia in queer spaces is so genuinely fucking disgusting, i can't believe this site just called it ace discourse & argued about it as if it was a debatable thing, even now i see people still fucking debating it or saying that it's not that bad, even people who say they are ace allies or whatever still often have fucked up things to say about asexuality, some people even say shit like "oh yea that's fucked up but also asexuals were saying queerphobic stuff to the rest of the community" shut the fuck up, not only was that not a common thing, there is no way to possibly excuse you seeing a random stray homophobic asexual person or bot account & deciding to blame acephobia on them. Fuck you

if you think acephobia is wrong but children can't be ace because it's "inherrently sexual" & "they're probably going to grow out of it" or "it's sexualizing kids, that's just normal" that is exactly the same as saying that about being gay or trans or anything else i hope you remember how it feels when people say that about a kid saying they are gay & feel so genuinely awful about saying that about asexual kids that you either become a better person or die from the guilt.

[squid-ink-on-toast]

I swear the majority of ace discourse can be chocked up to that aspec people are often not able to participate in a lot of parts of society that allo peers can, and when they found the not like the general population club (LGBTQ+) they wanted to feel included because we share similar experiences. However because this is the internet and also everyone is kinda defensive by nature many people in the LGBTQ+ took trying to bond/be included/ not forgotten as that asexuals were trying to take over and took it personally. I will also say I think aspec people have as a group, a big fear of being alone and a joking “if I’m not human than what am I, a God” tone to talking about sexuality that can come off as “thinks their above you” that can rub the wrong way easily, especially online.

[bloggingboutburgers]

I am ace and a friend of mine asked me if i was sure i was ace or just gay. So since i knew for a fact i wasn't straight i downloaded grindr and got fucked in the ass by this really nice guy and found out that yes i am infact ace and in all honesty it helped knowing for a fact i was ace and it almost completely stopped me from questioning my sexuality

...Hopefully that was OK with you at the time? I mean, that showed everyone, for sure (even though some people will be doubtful anyway, because sure), and that showed you, but I find it a bit sad that one would have to get fucked just to prove they don't care for it. Personally I never had sex and I don't intend to, I can't really bear the mere thought at all. Then again... Yeah, that was YOUR choice and you proved stuff to yourself and others on YOUR terms, so either way, well done on that honestly

...Also I sympathize so much

Middleschool had me pinned as a lesbian (and shunned as one, which made me super-angry on behalf of lesbians in the process) because I didn't wanna bang anyone or go out with anyone, and obviously, that's only ever what it means, right? And even now, now that I'm in a queerplatonic relationship with a nonbinary afab person and out to people about it, I have this nagging fear that a lot of those people that support us just think "oh good, so she's just a lesbian after all, she's fixed". Like... Nothing wrong with being gay, obviously, that's just not what I am. And it's been painful enough having to get that through people's heads through years and years of repeating myself, for a new thing that makes me happy to go and destroy that...

...Shit's tough

[the-satellite]

I wish it was easy to put in words how traumatic being an asexual on here was. Some of those people are still here, under the same usernames, being reblogged like its nothing. Like they didn't destory our community. This is a bitter fucking aftermath.

[ursie]

Connor being Ace is not personally reinventing homophobia guys- I understand you want him to be gay literally no one is disagreeing but he’s literally still allo and used they/them pronouns when discussing possible partners in the Pride special like 😭 boy ain’t straight and there’s a distinct chance he’ll be revealed as Gay in the short future. You can ask and push for him to be gay w/o bullying and belittling Ace creators, characters, content, and tbh the Ace identity as a whole just. Throwing that out there 😭

[ursie]

Day 2864 of me needing people (including my friends and mutuals??) to be normal about Ace people, content, & characters-like it’s not hard. They’re literally not hurting you 😭 stop being needlessly bitchy about them my god

Image id: a pink banner that says people who disagree with me dni : end id

[bedsheetghost413]

Okay, if you're familiar with ace discourse you might've see this comic:

A lot of aphobic people went fucking bananas over it. "I'd hate it if my partner said that to me after sex!"

What they failed to understand is that some relationships can be like that. Not all relationships are "we're dating eachother and like to have sex and think the other is sexy!" Some relationships are "we're together and like to have sex sometimes, but only because it feels nice."

Of course this would usually be discussed before any sex has taken place, in the comic it doesn't appear to have happened which isn't good and I can see why people don't like it, I don't like it.

And if the other person is now uncomfortable, then they can just talk it out! If they're not cool with the relationship anymore, then they can talk about what they both want out of it and reevaluate.

You can have a relationship where you have sex together not because you're sexually attracted to eachother, but because it feels good and it's something intimate and can strengthen a bond.

[ursie]

you perfectly put my thoughts into words re: the hunters of artemis.... am forever grateful

🥺💕

Thank you legend!! 🙏