#tw loss

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Well… I said goodbye to my grandfather.

But he wasn’t himself anymore. That embalmed yellowish corpse wasn’t my grandfather. We had a memorial service with all the religious traditions, as per his wishes, and we read the Book of Psalms over him. Well, mostly two of his friends took turns reading.

I read a psalm myself too. I felt that I had to do it. It was in Church Slavonic (the religious language in Russian Orthodox Christianity), and I stumbled and sobbed a lot… but I hope my prayer reached him. I was the only family member who was able to read the psalms over him. Others were too devastated, unfortunately.

Then, when we left the church, a ladybug first landed on my mother’s shirt. Then it landed on mine, crawled onto my hand and flew away. Maybe it was a sign. I hope it was his final goodbye to us. Monday is the burial and a memorial dinner with traditional meals and a few of his favorite foods. I hope I don’t weep too much this time…

[usergreenpixel]

Tonight I say goodbye to my grandfather at church. There will be a service for the peace of his soul… and we’ll see him embalmed (he died in a different country so embalming was what he wanted to be preserved for a burial in Russia). He was bald, so I can’t cut a strand of hair as a keepsake, nor can I kiss his forehead due to all the post mortem makeup they had to apply… I think I’ll wear the jewelry he gifted me for my 25th birthday. That’s going to be my keepsake. That and probably at least one of the music boxes from his collection. I loved them as a kid. They play music from ballets and operas. I hope I can keep them…

Tomorrow is the burial and a lunch to remember him. I still can’t believe he’s gone… but hopefully we’ll swap stories about how he used a frail old guy voice to troll scammers or how he made corny puns… because I think he’d want us to remember the funny stories. I will miss him always… but maybe the happy memories will take over tomorrow.

[frankie-frankly]

crying even more cuz on the free trial of the my heritage website i tried to find more about my grandfather n all i got was information that i could have gotten from my mom. there werent even any photos or names besides his first and last and no other family members n im so sick of everything. im so exhausted i just want things to be okay

i just miss him so much

[wrentheteemo]

I miss them. I still can't believe that they are gone. I really wish I could have said goodbye.

-Wren, Carolean System

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Hey, everyone. I’m traveling back to Russia approximately on Friday. On Monday I’ll attend my grandfather’s funeral, and on September 1st will be his 40th day (in my faith the 40th day after death is particularly important for remembering a person and there is usually a gathering for this day). My birthday is on September 6th and I don’t even want to celebrate it. It feels like an insult to my grandfather’s memory. And frankly, I’m not sure how to keep living… but I will. I know he died proud of me and I need to keep living.

I need you all now more than ever… so I think my hiatus is over officially. My grandfather was more of a father to me than my dad. I wish to honor him by living and creating further. That’s the best I can do.

@saintjustitude @stalinistqueens @jefflion @theorahsart @on-holidays-by-mistake @maggiec70 @joachimnapoleon @josefavomjaaga @theravenclawrevolutionary @18thcenturythirsttrap @itz-skyline @citizentaleo @aedislumen

[sylveriasarcana]

[cvmmycryyng]

Cw vent/loss

When i turned 5, my parents got my a dog cos i had been begging for one

Not the puppy i was asking for, but a rescue. We looked st his bag of food from his previous owners and there was a date written on it. We assume that is his birthday, and after doing the math, he was already 6 years old

Hes been with us ever since, on every adventure

Hes gone demented, blind and deaf nearly fully, and the dogtor and brought up signs of kidney failure

Yesterday my mother told me he was “going to the vet tmwr at 4” since he wouldnt be touched on the face

This morning she woke me up saying he was going at 10:30

I didn’t realize till i saw the text in the family chat that she meant he wasnt coming back.

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I just got news that we lost my maternal grandfather. I already cried… and we are a mess. But I will be more active here to the best of my ability. I need a community right now. And I think that he wouldn’t have wanted me to shut people out. I’m still grieving, but I will be okay.