#tw polyphobia

[archivist-caleb]

Just saw someone call people in an open relationship/poly people "whores" with "no capacity for loyalty"

Wuh, what the fuck? I'm not going insane that's actually insane right?

[robyns-rambling]

"polyamory is an excuse for cheating"

[raveflowergato]

i will forever be infuriated by the fact that when i was looking for polyship fics for one of my old polyships i found a fic that was basically just the author's thinly veiled polyphobia breaking up a couple because the author refused to write them communicating (which was extremely out of character for both of them too)

[tea-and-secrets]

chat, is "fanclub of [...] dick-sucking sycophants" an inherently polyphobic thing to say? told someone who had their rp character say this that this is literally overtly anti-poly sentiment. and my friends agreed with me but i still feel like I'm losing my mind.

IN WHAT WORLD WOULD THIS HAVE THE SAME CONNOTATIONS WHEN SAID TO A MONOGAMOUS PERSON HELLO???

sorry. im just. how do you say that's not polyphobic. hello. hello can anyone fucking hear me.

[me1-atonin]

You need help, polyamory is disgusting

look guys my first ever ask! and it’s a polyphobe!

although i did want to clarify that i myself am not polyamorous and actually was a polyphobe once too but i realized that it is natural just like every other monogomous relationship or identity

[yumejocomplex]

What does NTR stand for in your pinned?

Netorare, or more known as cucking. Or better known as cheating.

As a polyam person who's ideal is multiple men and one woman, I have to disproportionately hear about cucking. Polyphobia has become ingrained into the idea of the kink for me and pisses me off. So I don't write for it, sorry if that's something you like!

[heavenwontbethe-same]

if you're gonna say polyphobic stuff and then deny it/lie about it when someone confronts you with proof that you were being polyphobic, i fucking hate you and hope you burn in the deepest pits of hell

[thatsamericano]

Alfred and His Parents in the Stepbrothers AU

An irony I noticed as I’ve been writing this story is that Antonio is worried Alfred dislikes him or doesn’t want Antonio to be with his dads. But Alfred is a lot more angry at his dads, and he’s not generally mad at Antonio and often sympathetic to him. Here are some reasons why:

Savino told Alfred about Antonio’s history of having a shitty love life long before he knew FrUKSpa were seeing each other. Savino’s story painted Antonio in a very sympathetic light, and Alfred felt sorry for the guy and hoped he’d find someone who would want to be with him even though he has three children he’s the legal guardian of. Antonio found that with FrUK, so Alfred understands why Antonio entered the relationship even if it sucks for him personally.

There’s some part of Alfred that doesn’t understand why FrUK decided to include Antonio in their relationship. Clearly they love him and all three of them are happy together, but they were happy before when it was just FrUK (at least emotionally speaking). Alfred put FrUK up on a pedestal as this perfect example of a monogamous marriage and modeled what he wanted his future relationship with his spouse to be like based on them from the time he was a little kid. In this AU, Alfred is fundamentally monogamous in that he’s literally only into Savino (and this is somewhat related to him being ace and arospec, because he wouldn’t “click” romantically/sexually with that many people). His parents were never totally monogamous but didn’t tell Alfred or Matthew because their non-monogamy was limited to threesomes with someone they were both into to spice up their sex life sometimes and your private sex life isn’t something a normal parent would talk about with their children, especially when they’re younger. Antonio started out as a friend they enjoyed threesomes with, but then they both unexpectedly developed feelings for him. But from Alfred’s perspective, his perfectly happy monogamous parents just decided to shack up with Savino’s dad for no reason. He wants to blame someone for FrUKSpa, because it fundamentally fucked up his life, so he blamed his parents in a way that in his worst moments comes out as polyphobia (like asking FrUK how they could “do this” to him and Matthew when they announced they were with Antonio like FrUK were breaking up the family when really it was just about Alfred not wanting to be Savino’s stepbrother).

Antonio is more blithely oblivious about Romerica than FrUK are in this AU, and Alfred picks up on this and notices when his dads look at him and Savino like there’s something weird going on between them. Arthur or Francis can do the same thing as Antonio (like refer to Savino as his stepbrother) and it will come across differently to Alfred because it seems like Antonio is just genuinely saying what he thinks the situation is and it feels like FrUK are making digs at him and telling him he’s not allowed to have feelings for Savino. It also makes Alfred more paranoid around FrUK and makes him assume they’re being suspicious of him when that might not be what’s happening. (Like the scene I just wrote with Francis, Alfred felt like Francis knew everything and was deliberately taunting him with the fact he couldn’t tell Francis about his relationship because Francis probably does think of Savino as his brother on some level since he called him that only a week ago.)

Parental rejection hurts worse than rejection from your boyfriend’s father. One of Alfred’s fundamental fears in this story is that his parents will hate him or think he’s disgusting for being in love with his stepbrother. He doesn’t want Antonio to hate him, but the fear with his parents is so much stronger. And it also hurts that Alfred feels like he’ll never be able to do something like be a sap about his boyfriend to Francis (who is generally the parent Alfred or Mattie go to for romantic advice or gushing about being in love), and his hurt was why he was getting so pissed at Francis in that scene I just wrote.

Because he thinks of Antonio as his boyfriend’s father even pre-relationship with Savino, Alfred has a vested interest in trying to impress Antonio, make Antonio like him, and (most of the time he thinks this is too hopeful) approve of him as Savino’s boyfriend/potential husband  someday. He feels like FrUK are supposed to fundamentally like him because he’s their kid, and he gets pissed off at them whenever he thinks they wouldn’t because of how he feels about Savino.

Kind of a side-note, but if Savino has any anger/resentment towards Antonio in this AU, it is deeply, deeply suppressed. He has major guilt issues and feels like he killed his parents because they died in a car crash coming to pick him up from soccer practice, ruined Antonio’s life by becoming his responsibility when he wasn’t planning to have kids himself, and ruined Antonio’s chances for a good relationship for so long just by existing (and he wasn’t blaming his brothers at all because of oldest child syndrome, oof). He feels like being in love with Alfred and being in a relationship with him could ruin Antonio’s life again, and that’s part of why he tried not to deal with his feelings for Alfred for as long as he possibly could.