The people around me don’t understand the sudden onset of anxiety and panic.
They see a boy on a skateboard.
I see him.
I see him riding his skateboard towards me, a smile on his face, his hat to the side. Moments before he raped me.
—-
“The smell of cigarettes is bothering me. Could you please not smoke around me?”
They roll their eyes. “That’s your problem.”
They believe I’m being difficult. They believe I’m being a baby. And when I tell them it’s a trigger? They laugh and say I’m being dramatic.
The truth is: The man who molested me smelled like cigarette smoke. Every night when I tried to sleep, I could hear his footsteps and then smell the faint odor of cigarettes as he got closer.
When I smell cigarettes, even to do this day, I’m left with the chilling, fearful feeling like something bad is about to happen.
—-
Skateboards. Cigarettes. Ball caps. Plaid jackets. Unicorns. Yes. Even unicorns.
These are all triggers of mine for various reasons. All reasons to do with sexual violence I endured.
My point is, don’t ever make fun of someone’s triggers. They can be anything. You don’t know why it’s a trigger. And it shouldn’t matter. If someone tells you it’s a trigger. Respect it. Believe them.
Hi all! I stumbled upon a website pertaining to sexual abuse and assault of men/boys. Here is their page of some books/films they recommend. Trigger warning for sexual abuse.
Great resources, carefully selected, on key topics relevant to men who have experienced sexual abuse or assault, as well as their loved ones
These are my examples for the "letter to someone who hurt you" prompt (the other option was letter to someone who helped you.) I wrote these awhile ago, but they were really cathartic.
Please note that, especially the first one, has some detailed imagery and is about my assault years ago. The second one is a bit more hopeful. Also be aware of the r word for sexual assault being used. Please also be aware of mentions of bodily fluids (multiple), tw for emetophobia
hey!! this is a bit of a random question, but i’m not sure who else to ask. i’m a csa survivor and i find that body memories/flashbacks of r*pe tend to get worse when i’m on my period. is this a common thing?? my best guess as to why is because normally i kinda block out all awareness as to what i’m feeling in my body, especially around areas that have experienced the trauma— and on my period there’s increased awareness in those areas. i guess i’m just wondering if this is something that anyone else experiences! thank you all for what you do <3
Hey anon.
Yeah, that's super normal and it happens to me too. Or it did, I think my period is finally stopping because I'm on testosterone. But yeah, I used to basically have breakdowns every time I got my period because bleeding from that area is a huge trigger for me.
The Boys: Frenchie, Terror the dog, M.M., Kimiko, Wee Hughie and Butcher
Wondering whether you should watch The Boys?
Here’s a list of reasons for and against to help you decide if you’re on the fence or have been hearing about it from friends or coworkers.
You may know it as the origin of the Invisible Cunt meme or from this scene.
Overall I feel the lazy problematic aspects are outweighed by how good the show is - this is mostly just to warn people about potential content that’s connected to past traumas, phobias, etc. that they’d want to avoid.
Potential mild spoilers and graphic content warning below
Why you might want to avoid it:
- VERY, VERY graphic. If you’re even a little squeamish, this show might not be you. I’m usually fine with gore, but even I felt it was excessive at times. There’s enough blood to make Carrie look like a fucking teletubbies episode. Heads explode and neck bits flop about. You will see internal organs exposed and people cut in half, piles of bodies and laser vision burns. A man’s face is torn off his skull. A bomb explodes in a man’s ass. Family friendly shit.
- Racially motivated violence against POC and racial slurs
- There’s a literal Nazi superhero who commits said violence and goes on a White Supremacist rant. If you join the fandom you may have to deal with fringe individuals simping for said Nazi superhero
- Rape/sexual assault, both onscreen and mentioned, in addition to workplace sexual harassment and a victim of rape having to deal with abuse and harassment from their rapist
- The woman in a relationship with the main character is Fridged (killed off immediately and used as motivation for revenge). Dead women are motivations for more than one character.
- Drug use, on-screen overdoses, violence against animals, child abuse, kidnapping, and endangerment, discussion and mention of suicide
- Depictions of homophobia; a bisexual women is outed against her will on live television (though this is rightfully portrayed as a bad thing)
- the most HORRIFICALLY DISTURBING FUCKING SEX SCENES
- The show may be setting up for a redemption arc for a rapist dipshit and a man who murders his girlfriend and remains unrepentant for manslaughter he committed. They’re also both being lured into a cult.
- You will feel physical, violent hatred for some of these characters
- You may end up watching the entire show just to watch said characters be graphically murdered to gain closure
- You have to deal with the anxiety of said reviled, hate-inducing characters being extremely dangerous and interact with characters you love and do not want to see die
- Holy FUCK they BETTER KILL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS
- Fucking Nazi shitbag
- /+ You may develop paranoia towards Fresca?
-/+ You may get Billy Joel’s Pressure stuck in your head for a week like I did
- It’s on Amazon Prime so you have to support Jeff Bezos and his shitfuck company, though the show is simultaneously a critic of people like him and corporations? How the fuck does he get away with this shit
Why you should watch it:
+ The premise is people with zero superpowers go around murdering terrible, horrible people with god-complexes in extremely violent ways like a group of homeless insane Batmen and it is very, very satisfying
+ Critiques and parodies how celebrity status and money make people immune to consequences and legal punishment, showcases systemic racism, systemic sexism, offers a not-unsubtle critic of capitalism, biphobia, general homophobia in society and the media, Scientology, corporations, the government’s inability and unwillingness to protect its people, the War on Terror, and politician’s greed and ineptitude - overall very, very relevant today
+ Not unsubtle depictions of how capitalism and nationalism go hand in hand with white supremacy
+ Fantastic writing, other than the flaws mentioned above, phenomenal acting, well-rounded characters you’ll love, the horribleness is broken up by wholesome moments and one-liners top notch soundtrack
+ People of colour in badass roles, disabled character representation, two whole bisexuals the bar is so low but
+ Antony Starr deserves an Oscar for playing the best fucked-up character I’ve ever had homicidal fantasies towards
+ Overall great take on the superhero genre as a whole
+ Karen Fukuhara is extremely attractive (and violent)
+ Karl Urban is extremely attractive (and violent)
+ Better than the comic its based on, don’t @ me
+ They gave “The Female” (Karen Fukuhara’s character), an actual name unlike in the fuckin’ comic
+ Makes fun of Joss Whedon’s bitch ass
+ You DEFINITELY, TOTALLY SHOULD NOT pirate it even if it’s probably easy to do, if you don’t support Am*zon
“If you report them and there’s actual proof then they’ll be punished. You should report.”
I have an ask in my ask box along these lines and I just want to say…
I reported what happened to me as a child. Seven years of sexual and physical abuse by someone in my family.
I went through the court process for years. Got victim blamed on the stand. And it was Hell.
In the end, he pled guilty and you know what he was given for his plea deal? A curfew. He didn’t serve a single day. He had to be in his house by a certain time at night until a certain time in the morning.
I knew a girl who was sexually abused by her mom’s boyfriend. He admitted guilt right away. You know what happened? He did serve time but he only went to jail on the weekends for about a year and was able to keep dating the mom but he had to live somewhere else so he lived across the highway.
I’m not saying people shouldn’t report. That’s a personal decision. I’m just saying to quit shaming people who don’t. Outside of the fact there often isn’t justice, sometimes reporting is re-traumatizing. Or comes with other consequences.
I got raped at 18 and 23 and never reported either because of the shit I went through in the courts. If I was victim blamed for stuff that happened when I was 6 years old to 13, surely it would be much worse as an adult.
Whether someone reports or not is personal and their decision. It is not on them if the person does it to someone else.
