#tw repression

[orufreyhaunting]

WHA MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD. TW: CSA TW: SA TW: trauma induced bodily dissociation TW: trauma induced repression.

On Qifrey and his backstory within the manga as a metaphor CSA

Please don’t read this if these topics and a frank discussion of them could trigger you! Your safety and comfort are the priority here.

So like. We’re all agreeing that Qifreys past is a metaphor for CSA right?

Like. Something happened to him that wiped his memories (repression). Something was taken in a way that forever altered his worldview and trust in others (his eye, and his instinctive flinching away from, especially seemingly kind or loving, touch). Something happened to him that effects the way he views his body, his ability to have romantic or close relationships, and his ability to confide in those around him.

I know a lot of people have been comparing it to abuse and neglect, but specifically the metaphor of an alien seed that follows him into adulthood that was implanted in him (specifically in the same location something was taken) is too graphic for me to consider it as anything less than CSA

I just want this to be noted for the modern AUs I’ve been seeing and as an emphasis on how fucked up what happened to him was. His body and mind were violated, seemingly repeatedly, and then he was left for dead. That’s a severely traumatic life event that has shaped everything about his perception of others and himself. The guy has intense symptoms of PTSD that he’s learned to live with.

I think it’s also important to keep in mind that Qifrey seems to view memory erasure as a mentally horrific violation. He has been forced to put the person he loves most, the person he trusts most, through the equivalent of mind assault repeatedly in order to save himself at his best friends insistence. I can’t even guess how much this has negatively affected the way he views himself.

[kreechurthecrazykat]

That scene in the TADC finale where all the different Jaxes scream at the locked door implied to be another Jax except instead of Jax its me and the locked door contains the part of me that openly talks about my F/Os because the first and only time I did I ended up pushing all my friends away and got made fun of

[oncerocket-nowplasma]

⏮️

The death tallies came out again. Another instance of going online. Another press of the now-worn Ctrl and F keys. Another search of the name Areli. Another list of a 100 names you don't want to read. Another sigh of relief as the search comes up emp-

Oh.

...

You should feel worse about this.

That's your family on that list.

You should feel devastated.

But it's 11pm.

And you have work tomorrow.

You put your phone down and set out your Rocket uniform.

And you choose to forget you ever read that.

There's nothing you can do anyway.

Next week, you don't go online.

You wonder why your Ctrl and F keys are so worn.

[the-void-is-an-archive]

"omg you're so funny void!"

thanks! my main coping mechanism is repression and i have yet to even begin grieving over the loss of many loved ones due to the people around me never caring about my feelings and never checking up on me and asking how ive been doing and never helping me out with anything such as funeral expenses or food so i instead repress memories of said loved ones to the point where i convince myself that they never existed or that they died when i was extremely young removing any significant bond i possibly had with them :)

version 2.0 electric boogaloo

"omg you're so funny void!"

thanks! i am perfectly content with death and am perfectly ok with dying at any given moment whether that be from a health problem or car accident or sacrifice or anything bcuz i have accepted that i fucked up and thus have no future ahead of me which sucks but i did it to myself so now i have to live with that until god decides he doesn't want me as his personal test guinea pig and instantly sends me to hell which is what i deserve

[lunadademon14]

me: man, i wonder why i have a hard time trying to actively feel emotions half the time. and why is it that when i do its the most painful experience ever?

also me, who has been repressing her emotions since she was little as to hurt people as little as possible(and aso be hurt as little as possible for even feeling said emotions within the vicinity of anyone who did not have the patience for a child who was literaly trying its best to figure out the world) and now doesn't know how to feel about other people in general without feeling angry:

[imhere-imqueer-ilikedeer]

I did another logan one-shot :3

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It's really short (I'm still not used to portaying other people's characters), but hopefully as I practise more, it will get easier :)

summary: Logan hears Patton crying and goes to comfort him.

(angst, + bit of fluff)

[imhere-imqueer-ilikedeer]

Tragedy: local boy expresses emotion to someone instead of repressing like normal and actually feels good after

[shoot-of-corruption]

♡ + dark

Send me ♡ + a word, and I’ll write a headcanon.

While Mariku feels safe in the dark, he realizes as well how very threatening it can be.

Deals with the darkness are a double-edged sword. While keeping hidden in it, like beneath the skirt of a worried mother, nothing would be able to really pose a threat to you - or so it seemed.

A matter of confidence. The dark had tooth and nail and it was quite capable of using both. He had realized this far too late as a human being, or at least as he was part of one. Now... the darkness had bitten him, had carved him open and seen what he was made of. It had nestled into his head, lived beneath his skin, festered in his heart and soul and curled in his stomach like a warm meal.

Nothing of him wasn't anything the darkness hadn't been privy to. He was seen and he saw. He was touched and felt at the same time. One and many and all.

As comforting this touch could be, as overwhelming it was at the same time. His mind, although very much widened, was in it's state still human. No human should get these concepts, feel this widely spread. He felt painfully aware and insane and sometimes it made his skin crawl with how much was so little inside of him.

He fled the clutches more often than not nowadays... not because he hated how this thing in the nooks and crannies of everything made him feel... but he knew one day it would consume him with no regard... and at that moment, he would be a true beacon, shining in darkness.

But he hoped this day was still far and he would have the anchors of humanity in his mind for a lot longer. Because in all of this pain and darkening and festering, he had been feeling, he realized that the nature of being humane was an utterly new concept, he had never been capable of before. He was keen to study that. And after... he would find a new thing to study... and another.... and once he had found everything there was to find...

He'd find his end.