I just really need Simon. The older, full of scars and tattoos and vile and venom and just done with the world. Sits to himself at the bar. Ignores all the birds and blokes that try and see what a good time he has to offer. He's just not interested, you know? Just wants to drink his bourbon and smoke his cig like a good ol' boy.
But he sees you.
Awkward, shy, shoulders up to your ears and the most off-putting presence around.
And fuck, if it doesn't make him hard.
He wouldn't even say you're young, there's definitely younger people in the bar tonight than you, but you're just...you.
And if that doesn't make him readjust his big, leaking cock, then he's not Simon 'Big Dick and even Badder Decisions' Riley.
Goes up to you during your second vodka and soda. Tries to say something slick but you almost choke as you take him in. Big, huge, behemoth. The biggest arms covered in tats you've ever seen. Scars over his face, crossing over his left eyebrow and raising his lip in a snarl. Bulge basically eye-level while he stands next to you.
You swear you see it throbbing.
You want to melt. You'll never stop thinking about him, but you know what he wants and you can't do that.
So, you say the one thing that will be the most perfect sentence to get rid of anyone, him included:
"I've got herpes."
He just smiles at you. Full blown smiles. Like he won the fucking lottery. He just bends over to you, makes sure to get real close to you before—
"Me too, pet. Open up and lemme give you everything else I got too."
Safe to say, you both have the nastiest, rawest, filthiest, soul-mending sex you've ever had in the bathroom. And then his truck. And then his apartment.
And when you wake up, you swear you see your cat getting petted by the shirtless brute???
Been thinking about Fumiko and the horsemen devils for a bit and like.
Pestilence isn't a horseman of the apocalypse. Its a weird mistake, an error in interpretation that got picked up along the way where conquest is a much better fit. But in popular culture, pestilence has taken root. Whenever we talk about the academically, historically correct horsemen, someone will bring up pestilence. It will always be there when the concept is brought up, quietly lingering : "what about pestilence ?" "Why is conquest there instead of pestilence ?" Wasnt it originally pestilence ?" and so on and so forth.
By any normal metric, this should not matter. The horsemen of the apocalypse are a fairly well-defined concept and pestilence as an interpretation is mostly written out by any academic worth their salt.
But fears do not care about little things like academical interpretation. Fears worm their way in, evolve and spread. And pestilence has been a horseman in popular culture for over a century.
Pestilence can mean many things, it can mean the rotting bodies in the wake of a battle, the disease-ridden rats scurrying out of sight. It can mean the cancerous cells of a tumor, rapidly spreading. It can mean an epidemic swiping through the population. It can mean a common cold, ebola, tuberculosis, AIDS , the black plague. It can mean a disease finding its way from host to host through what should be an intimate act of love and trust, it can mean an added insult to the ultimate violation of a victim, or maybe their last revenge. It can mean a horseman of the apocalypse, an erroneous idea worming its way from host to host, from book to comic to film to cartoon to dissertation to random stupid essay on tumblr at 5am. It can mean a virus, forever changing, never stopping, never dying, always learning, always evolving to spread itself further, to live yet another day.
It can mean Fumiko Mifune, who will never truly die, who will never truly lose, who will continue to spread, and to live yet another day.
She might not truly be a horseman, if one is to pore over the old dusty original texts, but in the hearts of the world, it matters little.
Pestilence will spread and spread and Fumiko Mifune will ride her white horse, ever spreading, ever inching further to the end of the world.
Summary: When Robby and Jack discover their daughter is no longer a virgin, they need to confront her and their own feelings.
Warnings: Robby loses his mind, Yelling, teen sass, talk of contraception, condoms, talk of STI/STD testing
Living with teenagers is like living with a bomb. Or at least that’s what Robby thinks as he picks up the plethora of sweatshirts and socks and pajamas that are scattered throughout the house. The way his kid just seemed to explode their clothing off their body as soon as they walked in, astounded him.
He picked up one of her friendship bracelets that had been carelessly hung on the banister and made his way upstairs. He opened the door to his daughter's room to find yet another explosion. He grumbled to himself as he dropped the laundry basket on the floor. He went to put the bracelet in her bedside table drawer when something caught his eye. Two somethings in fact.
A round, pink disk filled with dated pills. A small foil with a distinct circular impression.
All color drained from his face as he picked up the birth control and condom. He had not taken her to get that prescription. Jack hadn’t brought it up. She had done this without their knowledge.
“Jack!!” He bellowed. He was not ready for this. Not at all.
The sound of Jack cursing as he grabbed his crutches rang through the house as he quickly made his way down the hall.
“What!?” He walked in, expecting blood and tissue everywhere with the way Robby had yelled. His eyes fell to the objects in his hands.
“Did you…?”
“Nope.” Jack shook his head. “Fuck. She must have gone to Planned Parenthood or that women’s clinic. They don’t ask questions.” Jack leaned against the doorframe, his chest suddenly tight.
“Oh shit.” Robby’s eyes fell on the trash next to the nightstand. An empty wrapper. Empty. Meaning used. There was a flash of relief that the used condom wasn’t in that trash. Then, the realization that she was having sex under their roof.
“Well…silver lining, she’s being safe.” Jack took a deep breath.
“She’s 16!” Robby howled.
“Yeah. This is usually when they start…experimenting.” Jack cleared his throat.
“Not in my fucking house!” Robby growled as he pushed past Jack and down the stairs.
Jack followed after him. Jack was always a little more relaxed about moments like these. When they got called to the school because she had been caught smoking, he wasn’t happy but he wasn’t surprised. Robby had a full breakdown.
“Mike. You have to take a breath.” Jack sighed as he watched Robby grab his phone. “What are you doing?”
“I’m calling her! She could be out there having sex right now!” He screeched.
“She’s at her best friend’s house working on that English project.”
“Likely story.” Robby dialed their daughter. “Eleanor Rebecca Abbot-Robinavitch, you get your ass home now!! You have a lot to explain!” He growled.
“Dad? What the fuck?” Eleanor was panicking.
“I found your birth control and condom stash!”
“Fuck. I can explain-”
“Get. Home. Now!” Robby hung up the phone.
“You’re going to bust a blood vessel. I’m going to have start a stroke clock.” Jack grumbled as he fell onto the couch.
“Why are you so relaxed!?” Robby paced in front of him.
“Because, I knew this day was coming and I’m not looking at this like some kind of betrayal.” Jack snapped.
“I…She’s too young…”
“Micheal. She’s not. She’s at a very average age for this shit. You know that. We are not an abstinence only family. She’s just being a teenager.” Jack leaned forward, trying to get him to see some reason.
“She’s supposed to come to us. We’re supposed to know what’s going on in her life.” Robby stopped, his emotions catching up with the drop of adrenaline.
“So, that’s the real issue.” Jack nodded. “You’re feeling left out.”
“I’m feeling terrified.”
“Join the club, big guy.” Jack chuckled.
“We have a teenager.”
“Yeah.”
“We have a sexually active teenager.”
“Yep.”
“Why do I feel too old for this and not old enough?” Robby flopped down next to Jack.
“Because no one is ever ready for their baby to grow up. And this is the biggest sign that she is. That she doesn’t need us the way she used to.” Jack felt his heartbreaking a little.
“I’m still mad.” Robby rubbed his eyes.
“Me too. But she still listened to us. She got the pill, the condoms. She heard us enough.” Jack rubbed the back of Robby’s neck.
The door clicked open and Eleanor creeped in. She dropped her backpack by the door and kicked off her shoes as slowly as possible. She tiptoed into the house, trying to avoid her parents. She failed when she made eye contact with them as she walked by the living room.
“Get in here.” Jack barked.
“Fuck.” She cursed to herself as she hung her head and mad her way into the room. Her parents sat on the couch, faces red and scowls etched into their brows.
“Sit.” Robby motioned to the armchair next to the couch.
“I can-”
“Sit down!” Robby yelled. Eleanor quickly sat in the chair.
“We are…disappointed. We are upset. You went behind our backs. That’s not only disrespectful, it’s hurtful.” Jack sighed.
“I’m sorry.” Eleanor hung her head.
“Where did you get the prescription?” Robby crossed his arms. Eleanor mumbled something inaudible.
“If you’re mature enough to have sex, you’re mature enough to speak with your full chest! Do not mumble!” Jack hissed.
“Dr. Santos gave it to me!” Eleanor gasped.
Jack and Robby looked at each other, shocked. They hadn’t expected her to say she had gone to someone they worked with for birth control.
“You came to The Pitt?” Jack looked at her confused.
“No. I…I had a question and I texted her. She offered to write it for me. Said she’d rather I was safe than sorry.” Eleanor shrugged.
“Right. Well, she’ll be spoken with as well.” Robby gritted his teeth.
“I’m not having sex.” Eleanor said.
“Do not lie. Not right now. Not to us.” Robby had a look of anger on his face that Eleanor hadn’t ever witnessed and it sent a chill up her spine.
“I’m not!”
“We saw the used wrapper in the trash!” Jack threw his hands in the air, frustrated.
“Okay…that was just me trying to understand how to use it. That’s all!” Eleanor tried to explain.
“So, you haven’t had sex?” Robby tried to breathe.
“Um…well, you were making it seem like it was happening all the time. It was just the once.”
“Jesus Christ! Nora!” Robby shot out of his seat. “This is not a joke! This is serious! What you’re doing is a very adult thing with very adult consequences!”
“I know!”
“Mike, sit down. Just…everyone breathe.” Jack tried to keep the situation from getting completely out of hand.
“I love him. It wasn’t just a rash decision.” Eleanor started tearing up.
“Is it Brennan? I thought you broke up.” Jack ran a hand through his curls.
“We did. But, we got back together. It was supposed…I don’t want to talk about it.” She wrapped her arms tight around herself. Jack and Robby picked up on the small gesture, the inflection of her voice. The hair on the back of their neck stood on end.
“Did he…Nora, did he force you?” Jack tried to swallow the rage bubbling up his throat like hot lava.
“No.” She wouldn’t look up. “No, I wanted to. He just…he said it was going to cement our love, make us closer.” She cringed at the words. “He said we shouldn’t be exclusive today.”
Robby hung his head, feeling like an ass.
“Nora.” Jack sighed.
“I thought he loved me.” She cried.
“Come here.” Robby waved her over. She got up and sat on his lap, curling into him as she sobbed. “I’m sorry, baby.” He hummed, kissing the top of her head.
“I made a mistake.” She cried.
“It’s okay.” Jack rubbed her back.
“I can’t take it back!” She buried her face in Robby’s chest.
“You’ll learn from this moment, even if it hurts right now. He’s not worth your time, if he can’t see what an incredible person you are.” Jack smoothed the hair from her face.
“I’m sorry, I should have come to you.” She started to calm down. She climbed off Robby’s lap to sit between them.
“So do we.” Robby tucked her hair behind her ear. “Nora, we’re upset that you felt like you couldn’t come to us about this, more than anything.”
“I just…I think I knew you’d talk me out of it. That you’d make me see the mistake. I don’t know.” She shook her head.
“Probably. That’s a good thing.” Jack said.
“I know that right now this feels like the biggest thing to happen ever, but I promise you’ll barely remember it in a few years.” Robby offered her a smile.
“You don’t remember your first time?” She looked up at him with hopeful eyes.
“Well…bits and pieces. No one has a good first time. It’s always awful and embarrassing.” Robby cringed at the memory.
“He’s right. It’s…always fucking weird.” Jack chuckled.
Eleanor sat with the information, digesting it. Her knee was bouncing, biting at her fingernails. Jack took her hand from her mouth. She had been doing it since she was a baby. It bothered him more than Robby.
“When…fuck, this is awkward.” Robby groaned. “When did this happen?”
“Oh. Two weeks ago.” Eleanor shifted in her seat.
“So, when you said you were spending the night at Sarah’s.” Robby rubbed his eyes, pressing the heel of his hand into them until it hurt.
“You cannot lie to us, kiddo. What if something had happened? If we don’t know where you are, that is dangerous.” Jack scolded.
“I know. I’m sorry.” She hung her head.
“Look, we’re proud of you for using protection. You were at least safe in that regard.” Robby sighed.
“So, I’m not grounded?” She gave them a comically large smile. The two men started cackling.
“Oh-ho-ho you are so grounded!” Robby laughed.
“Barely above imprisonment, practically locked in your room type grounded!” Jack snorted.
“But-”
“You lied. You snuck around behind our backs, you enlisted our coworker into getting you medications AND you disrespected us. No fighting this one.” Jack crossed his arms.
“You’ll be going to school and coming home. No parties, no football games, no going to the movies. You’re on full lockdown.” Robby nodded.
“But!”
“Nope. You made your bed, you’re going to lie in it. You’re nose will stuck in a book for the next two weeks. No phone.” Jack watched her eyes grow into dinner plates and the tears start. She knew he was the one that would cave to tears. She was too damn smart.
“I need my phone!” She cried.
“You don’t. We all lived very well before those damn things, you’ll learn.” Robby tried to get her to turn to him. He could see Jack faltering. As much as he was a hard ass at work, he was soft when it came to their daughter.
“And you’ll be going to the women’s clinic for a check up and testing.” Jack took a deep breath.
“What? I don’t need all that.” Eleanor crossed her arms.
“Can you tell me that you believe that boy has only been with you? He’s never had sex with another girl?” Jack asked. Eleanor was going to argue but the realization that he had more than likely lied to her made her clam up.
“Right. If you want to be so adult, this is what it’s like. You need to take care of yourself, testing is part of that. It’s not a punishment, it’s not a judgement. It’s about being safe and healthy. That’s all.” Robby explained.
“Fine.” She huffed.
“We love you. That’s why we’re like this.” Jack wanted to just wrap her up in his arms like she was his baby again. He knew she’d just fight it and that would hurt worse than stopping himself.
“Whatever.” She scoffed.
“Hey.” Robby scolded. “Not how we respond to affection.”
“Sorry.” Eleanor sighed. “I’m mad right now, but I love you too.”
“Thank you.” Jack bit his lip to try and stop from laughing. “Go to your room.”
Eleanor bolted up and made it to the door before Robby protested.
“Ah! Phone. Now.” He reached out his hand. Eleanor cursed under her breath. “What was that?”
“Nothing.” She growled as she slammed the phone in his hand and stomped away.
Robby fell back against the couch with a big sigh. The tension finally leaving his body as Jack flopped next to him.
“Did we fuck that up?” Robby asked as he absent mindedly played with Jack’s curls.
“Probably. Who gets it right?” Jack huffed.
“Do we kill Santos or thank her, I can’t figure it out.”
“I’m waffling between the two. Probably thank her. But definitely yell at her first.” Jack laughed.
When a vip asks to have Gihun Inho lies and says in front of everyone that he has std’s so they can’t have him and Gihun is MORTIFIED but like HE CANT CORRECT HIM just >:0
PLEASEKFVBNFDJKFNVJKD 😭😭😭😭😭 THIS IS FUCKING ME UP SO BAD!!
gihun hearing the guy he was crushing on say that he has a bunch of stds to keep him from being asssualted by a bunch of rich old men
afterwards, if inho tries to hit, i know gihun is gonna throw in his face that he has a bunch of venereal diseases so he needs to be kept away dnfvkfjdnjkif
STDs are not funny. They're not something to make fun of. They're not something to use to bully others.
People can be born with them. People get raped. They get easily spread. It doesn't mean jack shit if someone has an STD.
Get the fuck off my blog if you think it's funny. Because it isn't. Though, if you do find it funny, odds are you're a pre-teen boy who's trying to be cool. If that's the case, then just wait until your own kids are hysterical and want to die because they're being bullied at school because their partner transmitted it to them.
Even those who knew don't deserve to be mocked. Genuinely hope you rot in Hell if you think bullying someone because of an STD is funny.
