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bit of a weird ask but connected to one you answered earlier about rhett's fear of link coming out.

your metas about wonderhole seem to revolve around the idea that wonderhole is a means of r&l testing the waters for coming out - or at least, trying to indicate to *some parts* of their audience that something's going on. how does this tie in with rhett not wanting link to come out? like is it that he (rhett) is trying to come out, but only in a really cautious and planned out way? which is why he came up with that side of wonderhole (i say 'he' because he's usually the more creative one but idk!!!).

thank you for all your metas btw they're so interesting and you notice so much!! 🫶

Okaaayyyy sorry for the late answer! This is probably 3+ weeks overdue! This is by the way the cynical post I promised a few days ago. These weeks have been horrible and it's still not much better but I finally had the opportunity to complete this. My answer unfortunately is not a pleasant one. This answer will be a little sensitive, even for my standards. Be warned and steer clear if this is not your cup of tea or idk pretend this is my headcanon and I believe none of what I am saying.

For these reasons I will keep my answer under a cut:

Toxicity & misalignment between Rhett and Link (Rhink edition)

First of all, I confirm that this is the general idea behind my metas. However, I have also said in various occasions that Rhett and Link do not seem to be on the same page at all. Based on everything I see, Rhett actually does not want to come out. He only “agrees” to it because he is cornered into an agreement since Link wants it very much. It wasn’t even hard at all to see it in the “who’s the worst husband” GMMore but I have been having thoughts about Link’s marriage… ever since I started watching GMM in 2016 basically. Moreover it seems both a divorce and a coming out are desired in his case. But the problem is that also little of this is half meaningful to him if he does not do it in order to be with Rhett.

Except Rhett does not want to do it. At the same time, Rhett can’t really stop another human being, let alone his best friend and business partner from doing something so pivotal for his wellbeing and his very life. The problem is that these two share a heavy private past and present. If Rhett completely rejects the idea and downright refuses the prospect to ever be part of this and openly be with Link, this can be received as betrayal, rejection and separation from Link and it can cause huge resentment that might ruin their relationship, their friendship and their business. As in, this can literally make them part ways both as friends and as business partners, which would not only be most likely costly to Rhett’s personal happiness but it would also be 100% the doom of their career and income. Additionally, the level of heartbreak and resentment a betrayal or separation between the two would risk producing could cause very unpredictable and volatile responses from Link, as we know he is capable of. Who can guarantee to Rhett that Link won’t out him alongside his own outing out of vengeance? And if this happens, then Rhett will lose everything he would fear he would lose if he came out on his own terms anyway: family, career, money plus in this case he will also lose Link because if they reach that point when Link outs him out of vengeance, I think their relationship is probably beyond a salvation point.

But even if Link breaks up and comes out on his own and somehow retains the level-headedness and magnanimity to not reveal Rhett’s contribution to his sexual awakening, it’s still not a good situation for Rhett or their partnership. First of all, even just Link coming out will be a risk for the stability of their viewership and the fan support. Second, do you think Link could come out on his own in his forties and 99% of their loved ones and fans would not be able to make a guess about what the trigger of this awakening was? Link would be like “oh I was walking down the street and suddenly after 40 years of life I saw this cool bloke and everything changed for me no it has nothing to do with the guy I have attached to my hip since I was six years old and I always act obsessed over I swear we only Plato besties” Yeah...no. Eventually fans will understand but more than anyone else friends and family will also understand. Once this happens, even if Rhett does not follow, he will be subjected to 10 times more scrutiny and suspicion than whatever he was getting so far. Family and friends will wonder how much he knew about his best friend, Link. People who suspected both and were eventually proven right for one half (Link) will become sure they were right about the other half too. For example, Rhett’s father who did not approve much of Rhett’s too tight friendship with Link, he suddenly finds out that indeed Link was in the closet all along, he will only feel vindicated and he will almost certainly be convinced that his own son just hides. They will all think like that because almost all of them were suspecting that for both of them, so when they get confirmation for one part, they will take it for granted that the other half confirmation is pending. Rhett will be scrutinised and monitored by everyone. In the end, it will be like he did come out too. Rhett and Link’s lives and choices are so intertwined that a single coming out will simply be no much difference. What one does also affects the other. Even if Link comes out on his own, Rhett is going to confront pretty much the same problems.

Rhett did not expect all this between them would go that far, he did not expect Link would find the guts to pursue such a huge identity change publicly. Rhett allowed himself to be swept away by the affair, because he rested in his miscalculation that their motives and goals would always align. He thought Link felt and saw things the way he did and that he would compromise for a secret affair forever, easily covered by their very close friendship and committed 24/7 business partnership. It was the perfect hideout, beard if you will, for an affair that nobody would be able to prove since they had always been extremely close anyway.

Except Link has an allergy to lies and he spent the largest part of his life tormenting himself by lying. I suspect the by far biggest reason he lived with lies (including religion and his romantic life) was his fear of losing Rhett as a friend. Furthermore, Rhett was Link’s point of reference for most things so besides lying to him, everyone else and to himself, Link genuinely tried to imitate Rhett - his role model - very hard. He did everything in his means to be a great business partner to him whether it was in religion or entertainment, he tried as best as he could to be “effective” as a straight husband and he struggled super hard to be a proper devout Christian - so to have all the package Rhett wanted. But when Rhett abandoned the faith and after they started the affair Link now had what he wanted the most all this time and he didn’t care nearly as much for anything else or going back to another lifetime of lies. You must have seen how he has developed a pretty fierce hatred for lies and for not being “true to oneself”. Link started wanting it all out, the truth, the ability to live their love.

Link was greatly disillusioned by Rhett’s hesitation to share his aspirations. Rhett probably initially did not want at all but the strain it caused made him comply for all the reasons I mentioned above; the more determined Link becomes, the less Rhett can do but follow.

The only thing Rhett could do to control this out of hand situation was to warn Link that he agrees to it but only if he takes care of how and when exactly it will happen, with the argument that he tries to prevent as much collateral damage as possible. Link agreed even though all this delay torments him because he too knows that acting way too impulsively and independently from what Rhett wants is risking to lose him forever. This is Rhett’s only weapon that Link fears: “You can come out on your own or out me without my will if you want, but just so you know, if this happens it’s over between us”. Link on the other hand is like “If I get convinced you are lying to me and don’t truly intend to do this with me, then it might as well mean we are essentially finished anyway, so I will come forth and do it myself and hell mend us because I have nothing to lose and just so you get the message I will show you again and again I can do it at any moment”. This is how they still keep each other at check. And if you think this is a toxic as hell situation, well you are right. Their relationship is toxic. Given its circumstances, it is statistically near impossible to not be toxic. The unique problem with them and their relationship is that if they stopped it and broke up, with everything that ensued, things would perhaps become even worse for them emotionally and even pragmatically. So they are literally trapped in every single way.

Whoever thinks things slip out of Link unconsciously like so many people believe needs to reconsider. All these small non-coming out coming out jokes and comments he makes are his intentional constant reminder and warning to Rhett, who is equally tormented by it just as Link is from the delays and Rhett’s hot and cold behaviour. If all this is real and if we are being realists, all these and several other aspects I can’t even bring up because this will become a monster post are causing very significant strains to their relationship which they both try to ignore, fight and reconcile over constantly but it is not always that easy. They have big fights. They did recently. They did in spring 2023. And in between, I am sure. And it is usually close to the making of their “coming out” scripted content.

I have said so much already. I will say this too. Link is not in a good place. Despite starting 2023 by saying he is living his best life again and again, this is not reflected anywhere. (Perhaps at the time he believed this because he expected the scripted videos to come would produce much more desirable results.) Link even makes some slightly concerning statements; including how he sleeps to avoid remembering his problems or that he makes plans of going away (that tend to NOT involve his loved ones, not even Rhett) and that waiting for the next plan is what he lives for. Link is heartbroken by Rhett’s hesitations and constant postponements. He can’t help but compare Rhett to himself, who’s ready to drop it all (ALL, even family and career) at a moment’s notice and lands again and again to the conclusion that Rhett does not love him as much as he does or even that he does not truly love him. This hurts him deeply and causes most of the resentment you see bursting out of him against Rhett or in general sometimes and it seems so out of place.

The fact that Link doubts Rhett’s true feelings can be observed several times throughout their content. Around 2017-2019 Link would implore Rhett publicly to open up about his feelings and thoughts, causing discomfort to Rhett. But the most important evidence came with the invaluable EB episodes of spring 2023 which were very charged. At some point in spring 2013, Rhett and Link took different weeks off for vacation and as a result they both did one single-hosted EB each. In Link’s episode, Jenna was asking him questions by the fans. One was “what virtues he values the most”. This is what Link replied:

I think sincerity... I’m sure that’s not the only one. There’s got to be at least three other ones that tie with that but that’s what I am going with today. You know. Don’t give me lip service. Mean it. Want it. Put your heart into it.

This is clearly Link talking about something way more specific than just general sincerity as a trait in people. He visibly has a particular situation in mind, he wants “someone” to mean what they have said to him, to “want it”, to “put their heart into it”. The implication is that Link expects them and wants them to want and put their heart into that certain something as much as he does. Don’t tell me it doesn’t fit… perfectly, right? Link therefore has great doubts about whether Rhett truly wants to set their plan in motion and blames him for doing too much empty lip service to keep him "sedated".

Another time, in a GMM Rhett read in a not so serious context that “For Link passion is the most important thing”. Link replied seriously; “It is. For you it is not” and he looked at Rhett with a complaint on his face. Rhett’s expression fell but he ignored his comment. Here's a link with screenshots.

Link really does not say things randomly anywhere near as much as people think. The following recent example must have been interpreted by most as a typical nonsensical Link segway for a podcast topic, except it was not nonsensical at all. It was the truth, at least in the way Link perceives it, and maybe the truth in general as well:

Link makes the segway to a fan's question personal by claiming Rhett would like to be the third person in Link's relationship with Christy (as in, remain the secret affair). Link himself changes the subject promptly in this case and Rhett does not comment at all, while normally he is amused and inquisitive about Link's nonsensical statements. Notice Rhett's standard by now approach to not react at all and let the situation diffuse... he was talking lately about how good of a diffuser he is.

However, the most significant moment for me, a moment that felt like great vindication, a moment that made me think “Damn how wrong can I be in what I think after this???”. What happened is that I predicted what Link would say in a personality / deeper thought question and then minutes later Link went ahead and said exactly that! They were talking about the power of being invisible in an EB in 2023 again and they were asked what they would use this power for. I immediately thought : “Link wants to be able to go to Rhett while Rhett is not aware of his presence and find out whether Rhett's feelings for him are true and how Rhett truly interacts with Jessie when they are all alone".

And here's what Link said a few moments later and made me lose my mind:

Link: Gain access to. Information. And, um, I decided to invest the limited time I have in - as an invisible - to learn what people think about me. Really. Like, I wanna put myself in positions where people - Rhett: Give me an example. Link: Like, every relationship that I have, I’m talking work relationships, friend relationships… I mean, it was a quick answer but- (…) Link (after some non-significant joke part initiated by Rhett ): I feel like I know what Christy thinks about me. I don’t feel like it would be fair to spy on my wife. Rhett: But I feel like maybe you can predict what all these people say about you without you being there… Link: Yeah… maybe there’s not much to learn and maybe it’s only… maybe I don’t want to learn it.

So Link said. exactly. that. He wants to know what people close to him truly think. He says "work relationships, friend relationships" (Rhett checks both boxes) and only excludes Christy (with a reasoning that is also intriguing). He does not exclude Rhett. Rhett acts clueless but his remark makes me suspect his cluelessness is not 100% genuine. Link ends this by reconsidering his choice, mostly because it made him vulnerable in Rhett's presence, and realises he probably does not want to know the truth after all, which again hints to a specific charged situation that bothers him instead of a generic tactic used on all his acquaintances. Read my original post for a detailed analysis of this moment. It's relevant to what is being discussed here.

Long story short: despite the reassurances he privately gives Link, Rhett is not quite ready to come out and it is obvious to Link, who is heartbroken, drenched in his doubts and fears and trapped indefinitely in a situation he wants to break free from, a situation that leads to the deterioration of his emotional and psychological well-being and to outbursts of aggression or anger that in return further strain his relationship with Rhett.

Rhett takes a lot of it stoically but he also reaches his limits often. He thinks Link wrongs him or misunderstands him more than his behaviour justifies. He is seriously worn out by Link's menacing playing with fire. Sometimes Link's outbursts hurt him and then he responds by also hitting Link to his weak points. He has severe anxiety too, which Link exacerbates.

A juvenile example of how this ongoing chronic toxicity makes them hurt each other is in the latest EB and it might seem insignificant because it's founded on silly banter; as Rhett recounts his experience as a novice archer Link says that maybe he is parts elf. Rhett plays along, saying his ears are pointy anyway. Link quickly reconsiders this odd compliment (elves are aethereal and natural archers), as he often loathes to stroke Rhett's ego (which he considers the big culprit of the problems in their relationship - Link spent much of his life deifying Rhett and Rhett took advantage of that and then took Link too much for granted) so he turned it to the unnecessarily cruel reconsideration that maybe he is parts orc actually. This remark hit Rhett under the belt; an insecurity, his appearance. While obviously Rhett ages like fine wine and Link visibly agrees, it doesn't change the fact that Rhett cares too much about the impression he makes to other people or that for a long time he didn't look his best or, also, that objectively he is the less beautiful half of the duo. It isn't very clear but Rhett is hurt by this and he always is hurt by it when Link makes fun of his appearance - it is honestly such a bad thing to make fun of when you are the public figure companion, let alone most likely the lover. You can tell Rhett is hurt by the way he retaliates in milliseconds: "Well I've told my wife to call me Legolas". So, immediately he snaps back by reminding Link that he is desirable to somebody else and that he has sex with that somebody, thus hitting Link on his own insecurity. They know each other's weaknesses and anxieties and unfortunately they make use of that a lot.

When I say Rhett does not want to come out, it's not that what he feels for Link is a lie, I don't think so. We have several examples of Rhett demonstrating jealousy or neediness for Link, even genuine moments that slip out of him. However, he mostly keeps himself at check and is not very expressive about his feelings to Link, hoping to restrict him a bit in this way. Maybe Rhett is just hyper aware and terrified of all the things that can go wrong. It's also true that apart from the wives, the rest of Rhett's family environment is going to be way less tolerant to such a revelation than Link's family. Rhett fears his parents might cut the communication with him, even disown him, and his brother is a pastor. You might say, who cares, he is an adult, he does not need their approval! Of course he doesn't but we can't just expect from people to not care what will become of their relationships in their family. Also, from all the kids, Locke seems to be the most conservative and has a close relationship with his grandfather. Maybe Locke's reaction is what Rhett fears the most, let alone their relationship was never very easy to begin with. I think Shepherd is going to be fine. Link's kids, I think Lily is bi herself so she will maybe understand and Lincoln and Lando are mild young people, unlikely to have way too strong reactions. Sue is a sweet understanding woman and Charles would definitely be a problem once but he has mellowed with age. So Rhett feels there's more at stake for him than for Link.

Then it's all the other risks, how the viewers will respond, how many viewers will turn their back to them. This is not just about being anti-LGBT. A lot of viewers - even allies - will feel they were taken in for years or will disapprove of the affair being a secret from everyone for years. Most people watch Rhett and Link to enjoy these two friends and family men do silly and inconsequential stuff, to lay off their everyday worries and burdens. Such a reveal will be a huge nasty shock for many, no matter how pro-LGBTQ+ they are. A fall in viewership or subscriptions will endanger their Mythical corporation. A hundred people are paid by them. It's truly not easy at all, which is why Rhett tortures himself by overcurating their strategy and Link by overbearingly monitoring him.

Link saying how Rhett will hit him in the legs under the desk often to control what he's saying is another Link joke that is totally the truth.

Then again another reason Rhett is hesitating so much more than Link is that - let's be honest - Rhett is sincere when he says he is really attracted to women. Rhett likes women and he enjoys being intimate with his wife. If they are pursuing a fully committed relationship, which I think they do as they both want to commit to the one they love, it is a lot harder for Rhett to make the move of no return because it means giving up on women probably forever. I think in theory Rhett considers himself ready to do it but in actuality it is harder for him because he probably ends up losing more than Link does. More conservative family at stake, sacrificing his love for women. It is just a lot and I don't blame Rhett for having so many thoughts about it. They are edging their 50s, that's the time a person wants safety and stability, not to embark on a huge odyssey of a journey. Plus, maybe Rhett suspects (and he won't be wrong if he does) that this will not prove all that easier for Link when shit hits the fan, it's just that Link is so impulsive and wants to escape his marriage badly enough that he does not consider much all the adversities and everything that might go wrong. Rhett is painfully aware of all the dangers, maybe even to the point of somatizing anxiety. He fears so much that he curates and curates and curates their scripted videos strategy and he finds obstacle to every negative hint to the point that Link thinks he is disingenuous. It's almost certain to me that Rhett wished they could keep being secretly in love forever because they had the ideal cover-up; best friends and business partners. They would remain lovers and friends and partners forever anyway, all while keeping fans and relatives happy as well. Rhett also seems to be worried that Link is getting more unpredictable and a little "difficult" as he ages ; it's cynical but maybe he is also concerned what he gets himself into in the future.

But again I don't think it is that Rhett doesn't love Link enough or that he doesn't wish deep inside he were more carefree and braver too... He's just very scared and stressed and his concerns are logical. And in the end, he still is trying to do it. It’s just that he has to fight and defeat himself in order to achieve it.

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