#tw tti

[shining-scion]

I know I have probably talked about her too much but I suppose one of the reasons I am fascinated by Miranda Briar is that I myself have a very complex and painful past with institutions and control. I'm a survivor of a lot of awful mental health care systems (including certain branches of the TTI) and so i have grown into someone who doesn't entirely trust that a system can actually be for anyone. I trust my therapist but not the people she works for, to be blunt and keep it from getting too Much. And so while I am obviously not on team "murder Bartleby and blow up the Arcanum" the rage itself is something I feel very very deeply. While she's clearly not being selfless I understand what she means when she says knowledge shouldn't be hoarded by one group. I myself have BEEN HARMED by a system that knew more than me and wouldn't tell me anything. I wasn't allowed to research my own disability, I wasn't allowed to learn more about what they claimed to be experts in. That kept me trapped and believing things about myself and the world that they wanted me to believe. I was unable to help myself or call them out. And while obviously we know very little about what she's planning and how much she has other people in mind, I can see what she means in a lot of ways— if I didn't have the perspective of a player and I truly lived in the world of the Spiral, I would also have become distrustful and afraid of the Arcanum. I would also have assumed that they didn't have my interests at heart. Why would I? They HAVE historically been selfish. Just because they decided to turn over a new leaf now— what does that mean? I myself don't really believe in the idea of systems being reformed. For many of them, their very foundation is rotten. They are built on inherently harmful ideas, to "reform" them would still leave the inner rot, even if it's softer.

So I guess seeing her in the Darkmoor update was just... very surprising and I am not shocked at all I like her so much as a villain. I wasn't expecting Wizard101 to really be able to step up and meet me like this now that I'm not a kid anymore. I have met a lot of villains I have felt sympathy for, I have met a lot that I enjoyed. I have met MANY that I could see the people who harmed me in. I don't think I have ever really seen a villain that I feel would actually understand my rage or even agree with me in the way I mean when I say the fact that my abusers were allowed to "reform" makes me angry. Which is so surreal because as far as I can tell she's not a "victim turned villain". I would not expect KI to give her that sort of backstory. Her beliefs are *political* in nature, she seems to be not acting from injury but conviction.

But STILL she is so clearly in the wrong because we have no idea what she's planning but we have already seen people die for it and Bartleby is scared shitless of her. Which is like... of course I trust Bartleby. Of course I trust the Arcanum. The bond I have with the Spiral is the strongest possible bond one could have with a fictional world. But at the same time in any other world... no, I wouldn't trust them, would I?

[sys-confessions]

Tw for the TTI?

Fuck the troubled teen industry . Obviously my original trauma that formed me was far before I went to the TTI at 15 but because of it I have a 5 year amnesia splotch and added bonus DLC trauma. I cannot fucking believe they’re all still open .

[clockwork-col]

One of the things I hated about residential treatment (TTI) was how the staff would twist the 'coping skills' you learned to their own gain.

For example, the DBT skill radical acceptance - a skill that is essentially for accepting your emotions surrounding an event/stressor when you can't do anything to change said event/stressor.

An example of this would be, let's say, your late to an appointment because of traffic. You have to accept that you can't do anything about the traffic and you're going to be late.

Its also not an entire skill, its like a part of one. you accept you are going to be late, and cope with the stress that brings you by using other skills.

ANYWAY.

I would be like "hey this is one of my needs" and the staff would be like "im not going to meet that need because i dont want to" and i'd get frustrated and be like "well thats not cool" and theyd be like "radically accept it"

BITCH DONT TELL ME TO 'USE MY COPING SKILLS' WHEN YOUR ACTIVLEY BEING A DICK AND NOT DOING YOUR FUCKING JOB!!!!!!!!

sorry that got a bit angry. anyway, if you work at a TTI i automatically hate you. you're like a cop in my eyes. thanks byeee

[mephorash]

troubled teen shit is fucking. soul crushing shit. here's the place if you want to read about it (can personally confirm the quiet room is real lol. I thiiink do not quote me one was padded the rest were concrete but I am not sure at all). trigger warning for just about everything I mean I was literally kidnapped to live outside in the desert for 3 months and then got sent here for 7 so troubled teen institutionalized child abuse stuff just. standard unsurprising shit. I know someone with a story or went through myself. or am very lucky I only have read about cause they put us all through hell and back

got misgendered a lot after this too just a little cherry on top

my sibling's stepdad has not said more than maybe a word to me at a few sporadic points in time he was in the room while I was calling my mom or sibling. I have called him my sibling's stepdad for 5 years now because he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I can't ever forget "you don't belong in our home" while he was at home with my mother on speaker with my therapist in the room for family therapy. don't even give a shit about optics anymore, huh?

him and my mom tried to send me away to a multiyear program after this. only got to stay home at my grandparents' because insurance denied me. didn't go home to my mom and my sibling's stepdad because they already said it right? don't belong there. I was barely 15 and got put through this beginning at 14. so. just a kid.

never really mattered to anyone though, so

[1hellofacookie]

TW: Troubled teen industry

the fact that those boot camp/wildernes therapy thingies really exist and are an actual thing in the US is horrifying and absolutely disgusting. What the fuck-

How in hell can you do something like that to your child??

[temilyrights]

1 & 19 for the fanfic asks?

tysm for the ask!!

1. the last sentence you wrote

The May air is crisper than normal, but Alex feels nothing but content as she breathes in the sea breeze. - from an untitled alex blake x reader fic i’ve just started on.

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

the troubled teen industry/wilderness programs. did a deep dive for a multichap fic i’m working on! hoping i’ll finish it one day.

[xxangeldustanalogx]

hey!! :D i see you just found out about a decades old form of institutional abuse. would you like to singlehandedly take down the industry with your <500 follower tumblr following?? should we post on reddit? host a parade? maybe make an angry facebook status if you’re feeling real saucy??

[plaguedghosts]

For the parents who say they “didn’t know” what those troubled teen industry wilderness camps are like, they 100% know, they just don’t want to acknowledge that they knowingly sent their child off with strangers to go through abuse. My mother would threaten to send me to these when I was a teenager multiple times, as well as threaten me to send me to the psychiatric hospital, she knew what they do, and believed that it would be the right thing to do when she couldn’t “control” me.