the little mess you made pt.1 | Toto Wolff x reader
I was missing for a while but now I have a lot of free time, this story has been wandering in my head for a while and then I decided to put it on paper, I know that the plot is extremely dubious and I apologize! It can become a part two! Leave your opinions❤️
Pairing: Toto Wolff x driver!reader, married!Toto Wolff x lover!Reader
Warnings: changes in the timeline for the story to make sense, cheating, conflict of interest, age gap (toto is in his 40 and reader in her mid 20), obscenity, angst, grammar errors
This was wrong in so many ways, my head hurts just thinking about the shit I did. And to make my crisis of conscience even worse, I didn’t regret it at all.
He was from the rival team and that should have already made me stop, I was trading an engine with him and this should be just business. He was married, God, I just spent the night with a married man, not just crazy and adrenaline-filled sex, but amazing sex, with connection and spending the rest of the night together.
Damn, I was still in his bed with his big body stretched out behind me and hugging me.
This could never happen again, I thought to myself.
And I probably didn’t listen to myself because what was supposed to be just a single and forgotten time became more and more frequent.
Toto never said it was a mistake, he woke up and said “we shouldn’t have done that” which was accompanied soon after a brief kiss on my mouth before I decided to get dressed and leave.
I already knew the cunning and powerful Toto Wolff, just at a common level that comes with working in the same area, many hi and nods. Nothing much more than that, only when Lewis left McLaren to go to Mercedes that I started to have a little more contact with him but the words had evolved only to a hi, okay?
I was at McLaren since 2008, being Lewis’ team partner since that time, we were many good friends, best friends actually and it was an easy and fast fit. We experienced the same problems in the team, he was the first black Formula 1 driver and I was the first woman to drive a Formula 1 In the main seat , and in the midst of so many emotions and difficulties the two managed to take a world title for each of us .
Then the shitty situation came in with the Honda engine that was completely inaccurate and doubtful and cost me a season that I wanted to erase from memory compared to the previous season that had left me in second place in the drivers’ championship. McLaren needed another engine, I needed another engine and why not go back to the old supplier?
The problem was that Mercedes was not facilitating the negotiations and with the departure of several team members of McLaren everything was chaos, and communication was worse than two newborns trying to talk and so I thought why not deal with the matter with my own hands when I was one of the most interested?
The first meeting with Toto was difficult, he was hard-headed just like me and it was difficult to reach a consensus, but then throughout the numerous meetings we had whether in Brackley, in the McLaren motorhome during the races or in hotels something began to change. His stoic facade began to smile a little lightly and even make jokes.
I don’t remember when we started orbiting more towards each other, it wasn’t just in the meetings discussing a contract, but when passing through the paddock with an exchange of glances or a conversation in line to get a coffee. At some point something changed and there was flirting, calm and discreet at first like two teenagers getting to know each other until the fateful and joyful day of signing the contract, depending on the point of view.
It was something simple, to review and sign the contract in the anteroom of his hotel room, me and the McLaren team principal with Toto and a Mercedes lawyer. It was quick, two signatures on paper, a handshake, a photo to send to the media and formalize the partnership with the new Mercedes engine, a pat on the back from my team principal and then it’s just the two of us in the room. A conversation about the weekend begins, a glass of whiskey is served and in the end it is not even taken when finally one of the two decides to approach and kiss.
It’s a slow kiss, as if testing the waters, the figure of almost two meters of him leaning to my mediocre height, I stretch on tiptoe, it’s all a test, how our mouths fit, where to touch, how to hold each other.
From that moment on everything starts to progress very fast, the touches, the kiss, the two of us looking at each other deciding what to do from there and it was at that moment that we lost our minds, I should have gone out that door cursing him and calling him crazy but I stay, and shamefully call him by his name all night while holding on to him as if his body was my lifeline.
There are two cups of coffee that the service brought at some point, landing on the table between us. Waking up with him next to me doesn’t make things weird, this is the worst of all because it seems that I forget why I shouldn’t be with him, I forget that Toto is married and I had sex with him. My phone screen lights up several times and I leave the coffee aside to see the news: “breaking: mercedes will return to supply engines for mclaren in 2016” I look at the news and smile at the phone.
“It’s official” I say and turn the phone for him to see
“You and your stubbornness got it.” He answers and makes me laugh.
“I didn’t do that” I point between the two of us “because of that” I point at my phone again, wanting to make it clear that my intentions never mixed, that I wouldn’t sell myself for an engine even if it was the best.
He laughs and then answers me “I know... but we shouldn’t repeat this”
We both pretend to believe those words but they are as real as terraplanism.
The races become a game practically, the two try to avoid each other but then the proximity unites us somehow, so we are locked again in hotel rooms, muffled whispers in the middle of the paddock, kisses stolen in dark corners. I never asked about his wife, she was busy with her work in motorsport too and I didn’t want to know why she didn’t show up at the races or why he was throwing his marriage in the trash with me.
I felt guilty most of the time for being with him until I started to feel guilty for forgetting that he was married. It was easy to forget this big and huge white elephant, easy when we spent so many nights together, with sex or just lying in bed watching a movie, we went through a moment that was not only carnal we had already created a bond, deep conversations and companionship.
The trips were easier, when we went from one country to another, a stop in some small and quiet enough city to just be able to go out, without hiding and that was the worst part, a glimpse of what I would never really have.
At the same time that it was so easy to forget this situation.
I wake up, the bedroom curtain lets out what would be an already scorching sun in Spain. A big and heavy arm holds me against his chest, my head is still resting there, smelling toto and the way he breathes in his sleep. I move, wanting to get up, wanting to wake him up with me. He notices and holds me more against him, trying in vain to lull me to sleep again, I turn my head to his neck and call his name, a simple whisper that he answers with a murmur only.
“Wake up” I ask him, as if during the time we were sleeping I was already missing him.
He takes his time, scratches his eyes and then looks at me, beautiful, still sleepy and crumpled hair “good morning” the thick sleepy voice answers me.
“Good morning” I answer him, leaving kisses on his face, toto closes his eyes and sighs happily, his hands pull me closer to him and pull me to his lap, my legs on each side of his hip.
“It’s good to wake up with you” he smiles at me, absorbing every moment. He kisses me, a hand on my ass pulling me closer to him, I respond to the kiss, with affection and slowly. One of his hands snakes the end of my T-shirt and touches the skin underneath, I smile against his mouth.
There are more kisses, more and more hungry for each other, I melt against his body, giving myself more and more with the simplest caress of his hands against my skin, I messy the thick strands of his black hair and when we need to breath toto distributes kisses around my neck, leaving no sensitive point behind.
I rub myself against him, looking for a little friction and feeling him hard under me already, I moan with the mixture of sensations, the pressure of his palm squeezing my ass against him.
The slightest touch is always too much with toto.
“Toto” I moan his name, he pulls my T-shirt out and his hands caress my breasts.
“Yes, Engel?” He asks smiling, very focused playing with my breasts, pinching a nipple, caressing the sensitive skin, making me increasingly hot and desperate for him and without words in my head.
He seems to understand that my brain went into a short circuit because then he says “I know what you want, Engel. I’ll give you everything” and it makes me even crazier.
I let my head fall on his shoulder, my body still looking for friction against his while I distribute kisses on his warm skin.
Toto seems fun with the state I’m in, he leaves me there playing with him and taking my time, until he loses his patience when he feels my hand wandering the elastic of his underwear. He pulls me back to himself, one hand in my hair while devouring my mouth, the other pushing the thin and wet fabric of my panties aside. He plays for a while with the humidity that is there, then he starts slow and precise movements on my clitoris making me babble something confused that seems to feed him even more, I hear him moan and then he all kisses in me and dirty talk in my ear.
“You’re so sensitive to me” he murmurs, hoarse voice in my ear as he penetrates two fingers into me, a pool of heat accumulating in my belly.
I cling to him more, I call his name more desperately, he plays with me when he sees the urgency in my eyes “do you want me to continue?” And I can just shake my head desperately to him, “please continue” I ask him, almost getting there, he smiles and kisses me.
“Was that what you needed?” He asks, seeing me fallen and boneless, breathing without rhythm and head resting on his shoulder.
“Yes, Torger” I provoke him still out of breath, I find a way to take off my panties even if it’s not charming at all and then I’m on top of him again, anxious hands pulling his underwear out “but now I need you, on me” I murmur to him.
“All yours, y/n... all yours” he sighs, and I take my time, feeling every part of him filling me and leaving me in ecstasy. I sigh in fullness when he is finally in me, toto moans looking at me with an absurd self-control while letting me do things at my own pace without rushing me.
“You’re so perfect,” he murmurs through his teeth, his voice broken by desire. My hips move with a slow but intense pace, each dive deeper than the last one.
“Y/n” He sighs my name as a prayer, his head now tilted forward as his lips meet my neck, marking the skin with soft bites and wet kisses.
It’s intense, full of caresses and moans, the bodies together almost wanting to merge with each other, the heat spreading around the room. The moviments begin to get more desperate, the rhythm stutters and when finally the orgasm comes to us there are our names echoing through the room with exhausted and sweaty bodies against each other.
“Fuck” he murmurs after a while, smiling still in ecstasy.
“Yes” I laugh with his speech but understanding the feeling.It seemed that it got better every time.
There are two cups of coffee landing on the table between us.
“What is this?” I ask even after having read the papers that Toto had unpretentiously placed in front of me on Monday after the British GP.
“A proposal” he says smiling, as if it had been a brilliant idea, not knowing the whirlwind it was causing in me.
“Yes, I know... but why?” I ask still not understanding why he wanted this, because he was offering me this.
“Y/n? Because you are amazing, you are an excellent driver, you have just made a magnificent race in silverstone and your season is being great... you are ahead of the championship, it is natural that Mercedes wants someone like you on the team” he answers me as if everything were very normal and logical.
“You already have Lewis and Nico” I say still in shock.
“Yes, but Nico is thinking about leaving, and I can have you and Lewis as a duo, you have always been unbeatable at McLaren”
I stay quiet, looking silently at the horrible papers in front of me, mocking me, he seems happy probably thinking I’m in shock of happiness, poor guy.
“Why are you doing this?” I finally ask and he doesn’t understand where I want to go.
“You know I can’t accept it, toto” I explain.
“Well, if it’s about your contract termination with McLaren you don’t need to worry, Mercedes will cover the fine” he explains sweetly making me even more angry.
“You’re not understanding” I score and leave the chair to try to think better. “I can’t accept that, toto” I point my finger between us.
“I wouldn’t offer you this position if I didn’t think you were talented, it has nothing to do with both of us” he defends himself.
“Is it?” I reply, all the emotions that were locked up for practically a year overflowing on me, “do you think it’s fair? Me being in your garage, running with you from one side to the other in all countries and you being married? Pretending I don’t care, greeting your wife and looking her in the eyes knowing that I was having sex with you an hour ago?” I say, all possible feelings leaving, angry with myself for having put myself in this situation.
“Engel... it doesn’t have to be like that, think” he starts talking, getting up and trying to get closer to me but I interrupt him.
“I can’t... I can’t, toto” I say not wanting to listen to his arguments, I wish I could be stupid enough to accept his proposal, but amazingly I had my moments of lucidity and today was one of them.
“Okay, okay... forget this contract you don’t have to accept going to Mercedes” he says raising his hands in a gesture of peace.
“Promise” I ask “promise that you will never repeat this proposal again.”
He freezes and looks me in the eyes, almost begging me not to do this to him, a man of almost two meters destroyed in front of me. “Please, toto, promise” I beg.
“I promise” he finally says, defeated, shoulders drooping.
“I can’t do it anymore” I say after a moment of silence, a lapse of courage in my veins, we had to end this, I couldn’t be his lover all my life, we couldn’t keep playing house and pretending that we didn’t have our own lives out there.
“What do you mean?” He asks confused as if he were still in a strange dream and try to approaches me.
“We can’t continue with this anymore” I say this time more firmly and face him in the eyes, “it’s over, toto” I say, a mask of decision in my face.
My mind is filled with thoughts, was that really what I wanted? I loved toto, why not continue with this? So many whys…
“Y/n” he calls my name almost begging and I deny with my head begging him not to continue.
“Please” I ask, out of breath because at some point there is a tide of tears that I’m holding back. “Just go and we can pretend this never happened”
The words I say mock me, i think with myself please don’t go, I know I won’t be able to pretend that nothing ever happened, come on toto just laugh in my face and pretend I never said those words.
But as always he respects me, the usual gentleman he is, just nods his head still not understanding how everything turned upside down, he stops and watches me as if it were the last time he could do this freely, and it was.
“I’ll miss you,” he finally says before going.
And then it all ended, in a more wrong way than it started.
