#tw; negative

[sioraiocht]

//Tumblr’s stressing me out, if you wanna write on discord let me know but just a reminder that my activity here is slow for the foreseeable due to health problems and surgery

I know I owe loads and am currently only writing certain muses and I’m sorry about that, believe me I wish my brain was different and I wish life left more time to write everything but I’m doing the best I can

[angcllish]

Howdy folks. I wish I had something better to post, but I've been really struggling again. It's just been a lot of very physical and constant anxiety, which is really not the energy I'm trying to bring to any of my buddies here. I genuinely don't know how to fix it, so while I'm sorting myself out, I am gonna go ahead and say I'm on a hiatus over here. I'll probably be around here and there on mobile, and I might even try to write sometimes, but I really can't commit to anything even resembling consistent right now. Thank you for your understanding 🩷

[lovelypastries]

A day in the life of Felix Robinson

Set in step 2

This takes place in the whimsy au, an au where many of the mcs live in the same world.

Tw; swearing, self-harm, injuries, bad self-preservation, bad hygiene, absent parents, nausea, vomiting, bullying, blood. Do not read/read with caution if you are sensitive to any of these topics!

My eyes flutter open slowly, flicker side to side in my room.

It's filled with band posters and dark decor, skin already crawling. God, when was the last time I bathed?

I sit up, stretching my long limbs, yawning. I blink the crusties out of my eyes, sighing deeply. Another nightmare woke me up, what time is it? I check my alarm clock, "4:38." Ugh. And I just fell asleep not too long ago.

I feel my stomach gurgling, I roll my eyes and stand up, walking out of my room to go into the bathroom, staring at myself in the reflection as the door shuts and locks.

My state is grotesque, black, messy, greasy curls cascade down the sides of my face, my dark skin is paler than it was four years ago. My face has thinned out a lot as well, after my parents stopped being home as often. My blood red eyes are tired, deep eye bags underneath them, smudged eyeliner that I never took off last night stains my skin.

My clothes are baggy on my thin frame, a simple superman T-shirt and gym shorts is good enough to sleep in.

I let out a deep groan, massaging my temples, fuck. I need to take a shower.

I turn my face to the bath with a shrug and leave the room, I can wait until tomorrow.

That's what I said yesterday too.

Actually, no seriously... When was the last time I bathed?

My pupils flick down to my arms, littered with cuts, fresh and old, some even scarring my skin.

Too bad those won't go away any time soon, since I'm gonna add some new ones today.

The blood drips from my skin as I draw new ones alongside old ones.

The physical pain dulls the mental one, my body visibly relaxing as the blood pools to the floor.

I can't stop.

It feels too good.

Some time passes, and the cuts have stopped bleeding, but my heart hasn't.

I rummage through my closet, deciding on a black my chemical romance T-shirt, and a partially zipped up skeleton jacket. I tug on some tight black ripped jeans, alongside black converse. I quickly turn to the mirror and quickly redo my eyeliner, putting some pure obsidian lipstick on, covering one eye with a sheath of curls.

I hollow my cheeks thoughtfully, deciding to pop some mints in my mouth so my breath doesn't smell so bad. I can't remember the last time I brushed my teeth.

I pop a VHS in my player, shoving it in my pocket and putting earbuds in, the wire going down my body.

I pick up my backpack, pure black as well, and throw it over my shoulder with a grunt, heading out the door.

I grab my skateboard from the side of the house before heading down the street to my worst nightmare.

Riverview Peak.

My stomach gurgles again, and I push down the nerves as I let my mind drift as I absent-mindedly skateboard.

My sister giggles and runs around the street, my eyes light up. "Sam! Don't run around the street, you could get hit!" Her laughter echoes through my skull, leaving a strange nauseating feeling inside my gut.

"C'mon Fel! Race me!" She disappears for a split second before flickering back into sight.

"Fine, but I've got to get to school."

I chuckle, preparing to race her when she disappears.

"Sam? Where did you go?"

The realization hits me like a brick, causing me to fall off my skateboard and skid across the street.

She died two years ago.

I suddenly feel myself gag, the bile climbing up my esophagus.

I spew a brownish yellow liquid across the road, my eyes slamming shut as I cough violently.

I feel my stomach settle slightly, enough to stop puking.

She's truly gone.

I hear a strange mix between a sob and a scream, my head pops up, looking for the source of the sound only to realize...

It was me.

The noise I just heard came from my own mouth.

I taste the bile in my mouth as I stand up, rushing to my skateboard, panicking.

I take off down the pavement, eyes wide and breath smelling of rot.

I rush past the gaggle of teens I near, not wanting to deal with him.

"Hey look, it's Fel-Fel! Hey bitch, get back here!"

I let out a shrill scream as I get tugged backwards by my hood, my head hitting the concrete with a dull 'thud'

My head spins as I fight back the urge to vomit, even as I feel a slight trickle of blood in my hair.

Their laughter fills my ears as they mock everything I do, and I just lay there. What was there to do?

Suddenly my ears perk up, the sound of footsteps coming closer.

The bullies quickly back away as they spot the approaching figures.

"Oh my, what do you think you're doing?"

A familiar and unusually comforting voice rings out across the street.

Shantika Chatterjee.

Yamini Chatterjee's cousin. My best friend Yamini.

Mini walks to me, kneeling beside me. "Hey." She grabs out a first aid kit from her bag, silently patching up my injuries. Despite her seemingly calm facade, I can tell. She's pissed.

Her gaze is one that could shatter skulls, stop stampedes, terrify dragons. And that stare is centered on my bullies.

Tika isn't as silent about it though.

"I can't believe this. It's going on my blog." He laughs fakely, his pink hair bouncing slightly.

The bullies scamper away, scatter in a few different directions.

Tika squats beside me as well, cocking his head.

"Hey... Are you alright?"

I nod slowly, taking a deep breath as Mini finishes cleaning up my cuts and bruises.

"Be careful." She says meaningfully, her eyes locking with mine with a quiet intensity.

I stand up, brushing the dirt off my butt and sighing.

"...Thanks."

I stand up, running off, skateboard tucking under my armpit.

I'm too scared to skate now, not after that.

I don't deserve such a good friend like Mini, or an acquaintance like Tika.

The morning passes by in a blur as I rush to school, barely making it before the first bell.

I swiftly make my way to class, eyes narrowing in on my assigned seat.

I sit down, doodling boredly in my notebook as classes go on, ignorint the flap of the teachers lips.

The class ends with the teacher glaring daggers into my back, I sigh deeply as I exit the room.

I spot many recognizable faces among the crowd...

Atlas and Tika are kissing against the locker, Parker, Levi and Anthony are all huddled together, talking. Xiang is watching Vivian talk with some other people from the corner.

All in all?

There are way too many couples... And I still have no one except Mini who tolerates me...

That nauseous reason builds up inside me again, my head swimming.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my back, a comforting feeling. "Hey, be careful." Mini's comforting voice wraps around my lithe frame.

I deflate visibly, letting a soft smile creep onto my mouth.

"Thanks, Mini." My crimson eyes are fond as I stare at her peacefully.

Suddenly the bell rings again, and we break apart, rushing to our separate classes.

School continues rather boringly, a few snarky comments from the bullies, surprisingly less than usual.

Although as soon as the final bell rings and we all exit the school, I feel myself getting nauseous again.

I quickly hop on my skateboard, making my way to the forest.

I leave the board at the entrance to the woods before heading in, the darkness swallowing me whole.

My steps are audible in the silent trees, but I can hear them.

The leaves whisper to each other, branches mock me, the roots laugh.

Just like everyone else.

I gulp down the frustration that was building in my throat as I continue trudging.

The world is against me, and so am I.

I finally find the makeshift base, a large wooden box me and mini hammered together as a place to hang out.

It's filled with horror books and bedding, (mostly for me) and I feel a weight lift off my chest.

I'm at peace here.

I kick my shoes off, sliding onto the blankets and laying my head on a pillow, grabbing a goosebumps book and reading.

It's not so scary now, but it's still a classic.

I feel my eyelids slowly droop down,

Maybe I'll eat at the Liu's house for dinner tomorrow, I don't need to eat today...

And then I let the darkness consume me.

A/N Hello! I hope you all enjoyed this perk into my baby Fel's life! Remember, you aren't alone and there's always a better future. Please take care of yourself.

Shantika and Yamini Chatterjee belong to @sunnie-side-ups

Parker Mulligan belongs to @a3stheticcc

Vivian and Anthony Garcia belongs to @cosmicwifirouter

Levi Telianth belongs to @aaaaaaaaaa-squirrel

[phaethoned]

{ I know I don't post here much to begin with due to still setting things up and the like, but I want to apologize to everyone that I actively talk to here on this blog or on Discord for being so absent the last few days. I've been having nonstop panic attacks over not being able to renew my family's SNAP benefits due to some new developments and it's had me so drained that I've either just been trying to sleep off the anxiety or play something to distract myself from it so I don't overstimulate myself back into the hospital again like before. }

[united-as-one]

Months had passed since the falling out of the two idols, riding through the wave of comebacks, interviews and group vlogs and activities with relative professionalism. Whether it be sitting separately with feigned smiles and uninterested duo interactions that were awkward but manage to pass off enough without anyone in the public eye to suspect a rift forming. The more eagle eyed watchers and the megafans of UNA1 however knew the truth.

Something, must have happened between the Choi Sangkyu and Yang Sujin to cause such an inseparable duo to seemingly not do anything together anymore.

Choi Sangkyu, the youngest of the group and as such coddled by the older members, saw himself as a star within the group. Gone was the shy and innocent boy who said yes to anything that could put him into the spotlight for even a few seconds. Now? He seemed like a completely different person, and more terrifyingly... An extension and mimic of a man that he was meant to forget, meant to move on from, meant to be free from. But alas, that was not to be.

With the other members off to watch a movie or visiting their significant others, Sangkyu was left to his own devices with MIR4GE on tour. Who else was here? It was time for the silent treatment to end, and wouldn't take no for an answer.

The young idol marches through the dorm corridor, before coming to a stop at Sujin's room. With a deep intake of breath, he doesn't even choose to knock a trait that he had learned and gotten used to doing with how open he was with Sangkyu. There, he runs a hand through his blonde hair, eyeing the idol who he counted on and trusted on a long time ago with folded arms.

"You can't keep this shit up forever. Talk to me, that's the least you can do. Or is your jealous pride too much to acknowledge me?" Sangkyu didn't even wait for an answer as he climbed atop the idol, practically pinning him down as he claws the headset off Sujin's head. "Did you hear me? I'm done with the silent bullshit! You're supposed to by my friend!?"

@star-paths

[unhinged-greed]

Legit if my Mammon is too much for you to handle PLEASE I recommend you to unfollow me and even block/soft block me. The anon hate and overly critical opinions won't change the way I rp him as. Go and make your own 'better blog' for him, make pussify him to the level where he loves everyone and fucks with everyone. I don't give a fuck, but literally threatening me as a roleplayer, that's bit too much.

So anons will be turned off for some time, sorry for people who have actually send me some fun stuff, but the actual hate towards not only my muse but me as a person is bit too much at this very moment. It's been going for days now... so yeah...

I'll be more active here during my 4 days off from Friday to Monday ;; Sorry for being radio silent for a moment, my mental health have taken a hit lmao //

[yuichiroswife]

{ Just got back into the swing of writing again on another blog only to find out my grandma is in the hospital for heart issues. First it was my grandpa and now it's my grandma. I'm honestly starting to believe that things really can just keep getting worse instead of better cause nothing ever seems to get better over here. }

[booksofadventures-archived]

Important blog & mun update

[ tldr; not a happy update might be gone a few days. queued up some replies this morning but got some not fun family news a few days ago today it has come to my breaking point mentally. explained further below but be wary of the trigger warnings - other note if anyone wants my discord then please message me - mutuals / close friends only ]

{ My gran is in the hospital and I know its the best place for her to be to look after her. But having heard whats been going on - her calling my cousin early in the morning to say she'd been kidnapped, to her not eating and being on liquid food - it's been hard but hearing her this morning on the phone sound so negative and defeated which isnt like her, broke me. I went to work to explain and well I came home, I mentally am on a hairline trigger for crying right now, bottled it up so long even before this that I just broke. I'm scared because this is what it was like for my grandad, her husband before he passed and Im terrified.

So I wanted to update that I may disappear for a few days from here IMs and otherwise, if any of my close friends or mutuals here would like my discord please message me and I can give. It easier to get hold of me there. I may also lurk in my drafts and queue up replies, but thats only a maybe and I don't know how much I can do right now.

I apologise greatly and hope to be back soon. All my love, Klemmie. }