https://archiveofourown.org/works/21215213
Spider-Man has repeatedly been seen by a reliable source swinging through town with a so far unidentified woman, looking more than comfortable.
So far Spider-Man not yet commented on his relationship.
[picture of Spider-Man and MJ] Knew you wouldn't keep your woman, @peteparkour... Guess she does prefer a real man after all...
Yo, @webhead, you better stay away from my woman, or else...
The Real Spider-ManTM @webhead
@peteparkour or else... what?
@webhead or I'll come for you
The Real Spider-ManTM @webhead
@peteparkour how adorable, you really think you have a chance?
[gif of Spider-Man lifting and tossing a car]
@webhead Dude, I ain’t scared of you
The Real Spider-Man @webhead
@peteparkour right and the earth is flat
Alleged affair turns into Twitter-feud
After Spider-Man has been seen with Ironman intern Peter Parker's girlfriend, he and Spider-Man have been engaged in a heated online feud. As far as our sources go, the altercation has remained refined to social media.
Well, that went a little out of hand. At first, Peter thought it would be funny to mess around with the gossip, but he just got lost in the fun of it all. Only around the 23rd tweet, he remembered that it was maybe not the best idea, but by then it was too late.
MJ <3: you’re a freaking idiot
Peter: an adorable one tho, right?
MJ <3: Stark disinherit you yet?
Peter: on the way to the compound right now, I’m a little worried, not gonna lie
MJ <3: you deserve it. Idiot.
“Hey guys…” By the way everybody stared at Peter as he shuffled into the common room, it was more than an educated guess that they were very aware of what happened.
“Peter, I… I don’t even know what to say.” Pepper sat by the table, just shaking her head. “Thank you so much for this very unnecessary and completely crazy PR nightmare.”
“I’m really sorry.” Very aware that his face was deep red, he let his head drop. “I just thought it’d be fun, and that way people wouldn’t think that I’m Spidey.”
“I get it. But threatening yourself to fight you with the help of the Avengers behind you?”
“It may have slipped away from me a little bit there…”
“And that’s why I don’t have a Twitter”, Bruce shrugged.
“No, that’s why you don’t have a secret identity”, Peter clarified and turned back to Pepper. “I’m really so, so sorry! Really.”
“I know you are. Please, just keep your two personalities away from each other. At least until this is sorted.”
“Promise”, he nodded eagerly. “Thanks for not, I don’t know, screaming or deleting my twitter.”
“You haven’t talked to Tony yet, have you?”, Clint snickered.
“I have not. Is he very mad?”
“He doesn’t know yet. He’s been cooped up in his lab all day long and you’ll go down there now and tell him.” Pepper’s tone didn’t leave any room for discussion and wearily, Peter nodded and made for the door and the lab.
“Hey Pete, you’re late”, he was greeted. “So get in here, we’ve got work to do!” Mr Stark appeared from behind Mark 18 and as soon as he saw Peter, his face dropped. “What did you do, kid?”
“What? Who says I did anything?”, Peter tried to defend himself.
“Is this how you want to play this?” Tony walked up to him, put his hands on Peter’s shoulders. It wasn’t an intimidating gesture, it was actually reassuring, trustworthy.
“I may have started a Twitter feud. With myself”, he added, looking down.
“Oh Peter.” Tony just broke out in laughter. “You… I can’t believe you. Actually, I can believe it really well.” He got his phone out and started scrolling. “Oh, this is fantastic!”, he chuckled and started reading aloud:
@webhead you don't need to hang with my girlfriend just 'cause @iamironman likes me better than you...
The Real Spider-ManTM @webhead
@peteparkour [gif of clueless: AS IF!]
@webhead please, you know it's true, I know it's true, @iamironman knows it's true, hell all the avengers know it's true
The Real Spider-Man @webhead
@peteparkour yeah? Wanna put that to the test?
@webhead sure, cause I have the entirety of the Avengers on my side
The Real Spider-ManTM @webhead
@peteparkour no, you don't!
The Real Spider-Man @webhead
@peteparkour no, you don't!
“Ok, alright”, Peter interrupted his mentor. “I got it.”
“What does your paramour have to say about that?”, Tony asked, as he put his phone away and his expression went from amused to almost scolding.
“She says I'm an idiot and that I would deserve you disinheriting me...”
“Smart girl, I know why I like her. I'm not quite sure why she likes you, though...”
“Aw, Mr Stark that's mean”, Peter pouted and crossed his arms. “You know that since you like me more than Spidey...”
“Thin ice, underoos...” Tony shook his head and leaned against the table. “Does Pep know yet?”
“Yeah... I really owe her.”
“Majorly”, Tony agreed with him. “You're gonna stay off twitter until either of us gives you the ok”, he decided. “And maybe less of Spidey dating Peter's girlfriend.”
“Promise. I'm really sorry.”
“I know you are. FRI, is Pepper still in the common room?”
“She is”, the AI answered.
“Good. Peter, you're with me, we're gonna publish one official statement and then we'll let it blow over.”
That was probably the best idea and Pepper agreed.
“It's sweet, how Tony always pretends to be that macho man, but instead never does anything without his love's permission”, Clint snickered.
“That has nothing to do with love”, Pepper commented drily, as she typed out a tweet. “He's just no longer allowed to tweet from the official accounts.”
“Oh that's so much better!” Hawkeye almost fell off his stool, he was wheezing so hard. Peter would have liked to join the animated laughter, but if he did, Tony would definitely kick him out for good. “Whatcha do?”, Clint laughed, “post nude pics?”
“I did not and you will never know”, Tony shot back, blushing in embarrassment.
“And it's posted.” Pepper's announcement stopped Clint from probing any more questions out of Mr Stark, which was a bit of a shame since Peter was way to curious about what he had done.
The Avengers (verified) @officialavengers
In regard to the current feud-rumours, we can officially state that SI intern Peter Parker and Spider-Man have made amends, since the claims were incorrect and made up by tabloid magazines.
Both Spider-Man and Mr Parker are sorry about the stir they have created.
“This is pretty damn formal for twitter”, Tony remarked with an impressed nod.
And that was it. Life went on, at least in the real world. Twitter wasn't done yet; something especially Tony learned since his inbox filled up with people asking his true opinion on the Peter-Spidey matter...
You Know Who I Am (verified) @iamironman
To answer all the questions asking whether I like @peteparkour better than @webhead I can only say it doesn't look too good for either right now...
The Real Spider-Man @webhead
You Know Who I Am (verified) @iamironman
@webhead @peteparkour those apologies need to go to the fantastic @theCEO and all I can say is that if you ever again make trouble for my wonderful, amazing, beautiful, perfect-in-every-way fiancée, I'll put both your asses out on the street.
Pepper Potts (verified) @theCEO
perfect-in-every-way? what did you do, honey?
You Know Who I Am (verified) @iamironman
Nothing! I just love my stunningly awe-inspiring bride-to-be <3 <3 <3
Pepper Potts (verified) @theCEO
ok, I'm officially worried and on my way back home
Pepper Potts (verified) @theCEO
[picture of a beautifully lain table with delicious looking food]
To make up for all the trouble, Spider-Man and Peter have outdone themselves to make this perfect dinner for me and the lovely Michelle :)
