Too Young; Yeonjun
Genre: angst, fluff, ex-friends to potential lovers, based on Alec Benjamin’s Water Fountain (pls listen to it while reading x)
Word count: 3.4K
Warnings: divorce, cheating (not Yeonjun or Yn)
Hi, loves. This is definitely not my best work but after having been in a writing slump for months, I’m super happy to have finally finished something :’) Hope you enjoy<3
"He cheated on her?" Yeonjun exclaimed, shock dripping off both his features and his raised voice.
Soobin nodded, his face gloomy.
"But they have-" Yeonjun frustratedly ran a hand through his hair, “she is the mother of his child!"
Yeonjun couldn't believe what he was hearing.
Your husband had cheated on you. The man who had somehow gotten all the stars aligned for him—who had gotten the blessing to marry you five years ago and be the father of your child, had cheated on you.
Nausea hit Yeonjun like a wave of a stormy sea.
Soobin softly scoffed. "You know what's the worst part? Minhee told me that when Yn found out, she didn't even want to file the divorce at first. She was worried about little Mina's life, how she would grow up with divorced parents."
Yeonjun swallowed. He wanted to scream. Cry, even.
This was absolutely sickening.
Soobin noticed the color draining from his friend's face and placed a reassuring hand on his knee.
Soobin was the only person who knew how much Yeonjun had loved you when he was younger. How indescribably in love the man was with you when you were in college together.
Soobin believed in true love because he had seen the way Yeonjun had loved you.
How unconditionally he had loved you.
But Yeonjun was young. You all were.
Too immature, too young, and too dumb to realize he had to speak up about how he felt for you. He was so determined to keep you in his life that he even accepted having to see you get into a relationship with a man that wasn't him. With Jay of all people, a fool that would never love you the way he did.
Soobin knew that even now, five years later, Yeonjun had not forgotten about you. Yeonjun could never forgive himself for not letting you know how much he loved you, for not saving you from Jay and his toxicity.
Yeonjun had just been too young.
"You okay, bro?" Soobin's kind tone brought his best friend back to earth and slowly calmed his rage.
"I just can't believe it," Yeonjun shrugged with a disappointed shake of his head. "When we were in college and even a while after college I always hoped Jay and Yn would break up. I always believed he wouldn't be good for her, but... once I saw Yn walk down the altar five years ago, looking at him like that..." Yeonjun remembered the dazzling smile you had on your gorgeous face, the sparkles in your eyes—sparkles that weren’t for him— and felt a sharp pain in his heart, "...I truly, genuinely, wished the best for the two of them."
Yeonjun fiddled with his fingers, his entire body aching. "I somehow never thought he would actually be unfaithful to her. Especially now that they have a kid, I-" He ran another hand through his hair, fighting the lump in his throat and the burning ache in his eyes. "I wish I could be there for Yn now."
Soobin nodded understandingly. "Why can't you be?"
Yeonjun looked at his friend. "The last time I saw her was last winter. It feels strange to suddenly pop back in her life after her husband, well, ex-husband, and her have just gotten divorced," he sighed.
Soobin nodded, understanding his friend's point.
Silence fell over the two.
"Quite ironic, isn't it?" Yeonjun then muttered quietly, earning a questioning raise of Soobin’s eyebrows.
"I didn't tell her how I felt back then when she was with Jay because I didn't want to lose her. And still I..." Yeonjun chuckled sadly, shaking his head as he took a sip from his drink. "I haven’t seen her in a year, Soob."
Soobin looked down, remembering the memories the squad made when you were still in college. Him, Minhee, Jihya, Taehyun, Beomgyu, Kai, Yeonjun and you. You guys were convinced you'd say friends til you grew old and gray. Sadly, with time, life interfered with those plans.
Kai moved to Europe a little after your wedding; Jihya and Taehyun became busy with their high-status jobs; Beomgyu left to travel the world last year; and you... well, you had become busy with being a mother. Minhee was still your good friend, so you saw her relatively often. Soobin had been Minhee's boyfriend since college so from time to time you still talked to him, too, but somehow the contact between Yeonjun and you lost ground.
And it was the most painful thing Yeonjun had to experience. It was even worse than losing you to Jay.
Having to watch you date Jay didn't compare to the agony Yeonjun had to endure when talking to you started happening less and less frequently until it stopped completely.
"I think you should hit her up. Tell her you're sorry for what happened and that you're keeping her in your thoughts," Soobin voiced, making Yeonjun tense up.
Talking to you again? There was nothing Yeonjun wanted more. But now? After everything that happened? He didn't think it would be a good idea. Plus, he had to move on one day. He had been going on multiple dates lately and he was starting to get the hang of dating again. Thinking he wouldn't ruin all of that by speaking to you again would be naive. No, he knew that even seeing you would bring him back to square one.
And that was because of the simple fact that Yeonjun believed you were the love of his life, and had been since the day you met.
And until he found a different, new, love of his life, if that was even possible, he would never be able to completely fill the hole in his heart where your love belonged.
"I'll see," Yeonjun replied.
Yeonjun blew some warm air into his hands before rubbing them together as he walked over the snowy pavement. He had not expected it to be this cold today.
It was only two weeks ago that Yeonjun and Soobin had met up for drinks, only wearing thin jackets. But now even the beanie Yeonjun had on did not prevent the blood in his body from trying to warm his reddened ears and nose.
It was only after finally stepping inside the warm cafe, that Yeonjun felt like he could breathe again. He slid the headphones off his head and made his way to the counter.
"That'll be eight fifty, please," the voice of the cashier sounded, directed to the person in front of Yeonjun in line.
"Yes, sure- Oh... Oh no, I think I forgot my wallet." The voice of the person, the woman, in front of Yeonjun slowly made him look up from his phone, his heart registering whom the voice belonged to quicker than his brain did.
"Wait, I think I've got some cash in my purse, one second, please."
With wide eyes and shock running through his entire body, Yeonjun watched you as you crouched down next to the little girl beside you and asked her to hand her the purse she was holding.
Before you could even start searching for the money, Yeonjun already handed over his credit card to the cashier, his body acting out of instinct while his mind was still a blurry mess. "I'll pay," he stated, his voice way too steady in comparison to his racing heart and sweaty hands.
The cashier nodded before turning around to start preparing your order.
Your ears perked up at the male voice and you stood up, turning around with a confused expression on your face.
When your eyes met the dark ones belonging to your old friend, though, time decided to stand still for a second or two.
For what felt like hours to Yeonjun, the two of you just stared at each other.
"Yeonjun?"
Your confused voice and dumbfounded facial expression caused a genuine smile to break through Yeonjun's face, the outer ends of his eyebrows slightly drooping.
"Yn, hey." His voice was hoarse.
"Mommy, who's that?" Mina tugged at your hand and the two of you turned your attention to the little girl. Your daughter.
"Uh, this is-" you stammered.
Yeonjun crouched down to your daughter's level and smiled, holding out his hand to her. "I'm Yeonjun. Your mommy and I used to go to college together."
Yeonjun couldn’t believe how quickly Mina had grown. The last time he saw her she could barely walk.
Mina glanced at your disbelieving smile before she shook Yeonjun's hand. "I'm Mina."
Her small voice made Yeonjun's heart melt. "Such a beautiful name! I bet your mom came up with it," he grinned.
Yeonjun remembered it vividly; freshman year, physics class. Yeonjun and you were bored out of your mind so instead of paying attention, you guys decided to make a list of baby names. And of course, at number one on your list was Mina.
For a second Yeonjun wondered if you forgot about the memory, but when he stood back up and saw the familiar smile tugging at your lips, he knew you remembered.
Yeonjun took a second to shamelessly take your features in. Just a second. You were just as pretty as you were in college. Now more mature, which suited you perfectly, Yeonjun found.
But the sparkles your eyes had always held weren’t as bright anymore. Dark eye bags surrounded your eyes and your cheeks were sunken.
You were tired. And not the type of tired a person was when being low on sleep.
Yeonjun almost wondered if the cracking noise his heart made at the sight of your exhaustion was audible to the people around him.
The barista handed you your drinks, making you smile at her and give Mina her banana milkshake before turning to Yeonjun.
"I'll pay you back, just send me your bank-"
"Yn, stop it," Yeonjun chuckled. "It's nothing, really."
You smiled, your heart warming at the sweet gesture. "Thank you."
Yeonjun just smiled at you as you adjusted the bag on your shoulder and took Mina’s hand in yours before a rush of panic washed over him when he realized you were most likely about to leave now. That would mean he wouldn't be able to see you again.
Yeonjun quickly straightened his back and cleared his throat.
"I- uhm, I d-don’t know if you're busy but I was actually wondering if you maybe want to sit down together? Catch up a bit?" His voice was slightly shaky and he pointed at a table in the corner of the cafe.
Your eyes enlarged for a split second and your lips parted, not expecting his invitation.
But just because you didn't expect it, didn't mean you didn't crave to reconnect with your college best friend. He reminded you of a period in your life when you were the happiest. And it would be a lie to say he hadn't contributed to a large part of that happiness.
"I'd like that, actually," you nodded, making Yeonjun's heart pick up its pace.
After Yeonjun had been given his order, the three of you sat down at a table.
"How have you been, Yeonjun? It's been ages since we last talked," you awkwardly chuckled, your eyes carefully scanning Yeonjun's face.
Although his face still held that aura of youth, the light scruff on his chin and the sharper cheekbones gave away that he, too, grew a few years older. You found that twenty-eight looked good on him, though. Really good.
"I've been good. Got a promotion at the company recently, so that's... that's good," he replied, hating the small talk. He wished he could skip all of that and go straight to the part where he could tell you how much he missed you and that if there was something he could do for you in these difficult times, he would. In a heartbeat.
"That's amazing!" You cheered before turning to your daughter after she softly tugged at your sleeve, and handing her a coloring book from your bag and a few coloring pencils.
Yeonjun watched you with adoration in his eyes as you stroked your daughter's hair before returning your attention to Yeonjun.
Mina looked so comfortable with you, like you were her favorite thing in the world.
And the gentleness which you carried when communicating with the toddler made it well known that Mina was your favorite thing in the world, too.
Yeonjun could tell you were a great mother just from these small gestures. And it made an indescribable rage and sadness grow in his chest at the fact Jay took such bad care of his beautiful family.
Yeonjun would have given you and Mina the world if you were his little family.
He hated these forbidden thoughts running through his head. Yeonjun despised the idea of how different things could have been if he had only spoken up six years ago. He had no right to wonder what could have been, not when he had been such a coward.
A coward. Or just too young.
"Yeonjun?"
Your voice pulled the man out of his painful thoughts, and he quickly raised his eyebrows, painting an attempt of a smile on his face. "Yes?"
You chuckled. Yeonjun's chest heaved.
"I asked you if you had been in touch with the rest of the squad lately," you asked, and grinned at the word squad. “I've been thinking a lot about them lately."
Yeonjun chuckled. "Actually, Soobin has this idea to soon plan a reunion party. How does that sound?"
He rested his chin in his palm as he stared at you.
A genuine smile broke through your tired face. "Well, I'd love that."
Yeonjun nodded and a silence fell over the two of you.
His eyes slid to the fiddling of your fingers, the ring that was missing from your ring finger.
You noticed his stare.
"How have you been, Yn?"
"You heard, haven't you?" You asked a tad too quickly, and the smile on your lips wasn’t showcasing any happiness.
He nodded, trying his best to not show any pity, knowing how much you had always hated it when people pitied you for anything back in college.
"I'm okay, really. It was coming, anyway. I just regret not realizing it earlier." You shrugged your shoulders, biting your lower lip, and looked away.
Yeonjun frowned. "Realized that he...?"
"That there was something wrong in our marriage,” you finished his sentence, although you knew that wasn’t what he meant. “That were was something wrong with- whatever," you shook your head, smiling down at your daughter and stroking her hair again as she comfortably sipped from her milkshake and drew in the coloring book, unaware of the difficult conversation her mother was having.
"Yn, it is not your fault. You know that, right?" Yeonjun asked, confusion coloring his face.
You swallowed before looking up from your daughter with a bright expression on your face that was anything but genuine. "Yeah, I... I guess."
Frustration hit Yeonjun like a brick, and he had to refrain from standing up. Instead, he just sat up straight. "Listen. Jay being..." he cleared his throat and lowered his voice, "him being unfaithful has nothing to do with you. It says nothing about you and everything about him. Please do not forget that."
You didn't deserve this. You were actually the last person on earth who deserved this.
Yeonjun's shoulders tensed and his heart slowly broke into a thousand pieces when tears started pooling in your beautiful, sweet eyes.
Oh, how he wished he could get a chance to heal your broken heart. To love you the way you deserved. If only the universe would give him a chance.
If only you would give him a chance.
"Look, Yn, I know it has been a while since we properly talked and I know I'm probably not the person you'd choose to tell all your personal stuff to but," he took a deep breath, a sad frown in his eyebrows, "if you need someone to talk to, to cry to or just someone who will distract you... I am here, alright? I was here in college and I will... I will be here now." Always.
Yeonjun didn't like to be this honest with you this quickly, but he couldn't stop himself. His heart wasn't strong enough to just pretend he was only a distant acquaintance when the past years you had never completely left his mind, or heart.
You stared into his eyes and your shoulders sagged. There was so much weight on your heart. So much you were keeping to yourself, believing it was something you had to deal with on your own.
But his eyes... oh, the sincerity in his eyes made you want to tell him everything. It made you want to let him in, see your pain.
"Yeonjun, I-"
The screen of your phone lit up when a notification appeared, pulling your attention to the device.
Yeonjun wasn't able to catch what the message said for he was so concentrated on your face and whatever you were about to tell him, so he frowned in confusion when you stood up from your seat.
"I-It's my lawyer. She's asking me to meet up. I’m sorry," you stuttered, your mind a slight blur from whatever Yeonjun and the nostalgia that came with him had made you feel just a few seconds ago, and you quickly wiped your cheeks in case any stray tears had managed to escape your eyes.
Yeonjun blinked a few times and nodded. "Oh, yeah, no, I get it."
"Who knew a divorce would lead to so much paperwork and having to read through such difficult contracts," you awkwardly chuckled before telling Mina in a soft voice that you were leaving.
She nodded and put her belongings in her little backpack.
"We will get going but, uhm, it was nice —really nice— to see you again, Yeonjun," you sincerely smiled at the man. “Thank you for…”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Yeonjun nodded, a small smile on his face.
You collected all confidence in your system and took a shaky breath. “I’ll see you…?” Balancing on your heels, you waited—hoped— for Yeonjun to speak up.
“At the reunion party?” Yeonjun offered and immediately regretted his words.
Your shoulders slightly slumped but you quickly smiled the disappointment away.
“Yes, at the reunion party.”
You gave him one last glance before walking out of the cafe with Mina holding your hand.
The cold air hit your face and your heart felt even heavier than before coming to the cafe. Now it wasn’t just filled with Jay and all of his problems, but also with the memories and nostalgia from college. With the feelings you had once felt for Yeonjun, but had always suppressed.
Sure, you didn’t still have romantic feelings for him. But much to your dismay, you definitely wished you were able to talk to him a bit longer, to bring up old memories together.
But as disappointing as it was, you figured he didn’t want that as much as you did. He wouldn’t have let you go without planning a new date to meet up if he wanted to see you again.
You sighed and opened the car door.
You were just putting Mina in her seat when a voice calling your name made you halt. Your heart skipped a beat and you spun on your heels to face the owner of the voice.
Yeonjun’s chest heaved up and down as if he had run out of the cafe, and his warm breath caused smoke to fall from his lips every time it came in contact with the cold air.
“Yn,” he repeated. His doe eyes and the reddened tip of his button nose made your insides warm up. You were convinced Yeonjun would look adorable even when he was fifty.
“Yeah?” You asked, somehow hoping with your entire heart that he wasn’t just going to tell you you forgot something in the cafe.
Yeonjun’s gaze flickered from your left to your right eye.
“I…“ won’t let you go again, not now, not ever, “…wanted to ask you if you were maybe down to meet up for drinks this Friday. We didn’t get much time to talk now and if you want I can help you with the paperwork.” Yeonjun raised his hand, gesturing in your direction. “I don’t want you to think you have to do it all on your own.”
He hoped you knew he wasn’t just referring to the paperwork when he said those last words.
You didn’t notice the relieved smile that was creeping onto your lips until Yeonjun mirrored you.
“I…” you suddenly didn’t feel the cold breeze hitting your skin anymore, “…could definitely use some help.”
Somehow you knew he understood you weren’t just referring to the paperwork.
You glanced at Mina before returning your gaze to Yeonjun and shook your head. “But I don’t have anyone to babysit Mina this Friday.”
“I could come over to your place then? I can cook for us,” Yeonjun offered with a gentle smile.
In college, Yeonjun had always been the friend to come up with solutions for any issue. You had always loved him for that.
And right now, you were more than grateful that specific part of him hadn’t changed since then.
“That sounds perfect.”
