the storyteller
that’s the paradox of loss. how can something’s that gone weigh us down so much? — j. picoult ( @idtaekyoon ) ★
it hurts too much. it hurts too much to be with young taekyoon.
because he broke her heart, maybe---or rather, she broke his. she still remembers it vividly: the break-up, that is. his face, his expression. it was around this time, in fact---a cold, winter day in december. the weather clouded with gloominess, as if in some sort of foreshadowing. she remembers she couldn’t look him in the eye the whole time, not even once, because she knew that if she did, it’d be over. she’d lose.
if that’s what makes you happy, hyera. she wonders if, after four years, she can confidently say that, that she’s happy?
but the answer still remains clear, even without words---it speaks through hollow eyes, empty movements. through unconscious isolation, the relentless throwing of self into work as a distraction from such a fact. through the scattered beer cans on her floor, the sudden text message of her asking him if he’d like to catch a drink the middle of the night. and then, she’s reminded---that she’s not happy ... at least, not when others are.
kiss her! it’ll be cute! why can’t people just mind their own fucking business?
for with their drunken stupor and blissful ignorance, they don’t notice---how painful it is, to look at him and realize that a part of their past still lingers (and bears no sign of letting up any time soon). is this what they wanted?---their jeering, did they know that, instead of bringing them together, it succeeds with the complete opposite? did they?
how is this fair?
because of them---because of complete strangers, with no awareness of their history (of their baggage)---she’s on the verge of tears, eyesight blurring as she makes contact with the floor. she pushes him away, obviously, to a distance that feels like miles apart. her jaw clenches, eyebrows furrow---why did he have to do that?
“it’s not fair.”
her fingers furl inward, hands balling into fists. “i worked so hard---these past four years, i did everything. to avoid you, to forget about you, so why---” her breath hitches, lips quiver.
so why couldn’t you?










