someday, everyone you love will die. everything you
love will crumble to ruin. this is the price of life. this is
the price of love. it is the only ending for every true story.
— m. brockenbrough
★
( + detail your character doing a variety show appearance. )
this is how ban hyera truly shines—by acting, that is. the studio lights the multitude of cameras; she’s in her element, truly, and it shows, peeks through invisible curtains of velvet and red. the applause, though silent, erupts in anticipation for, ladies and gentlemen, the performance is about to begin.
this is their—what, third? fourth? time on the show, and the result has always been the same, the product of the same regulated formula of actions and words. smile here, laugh there—seldom does she crack a joke, though in the lull of entertainment, she is often forced to.
it’s pre-decided—before any of the four had any of a say in it—what their positions are in appearances like these, what ‘characters’ they’d be portraying for the next couple of hours. this is where ban hyera truly shines, for it is only here where she can compensate where she lacks elsewhere.
(in talent, that is.)
for jawbreaker’s hera, you see, beloved rapper and eternally sought-after visuals is the sole member of such a complex group to have an image like this, to have a reputation that allows for such tomfoolery that her father would scowl that, that her mother would lower her head in embarrassment from. some would blame her age, buts others would label the cause as her indifference, her lack of necessity.
the stumbling over her words, for instance, causes such laughter amongst hosts and staff members alike. her slight mistakes in the dance portion of the show—she can already read the headlines of the articles in the morning, the very few that praise her excellence for entertainment while the majority hone in on her difference, her divergence from the other three of such genius and expertise.
[ +442, -525 ] hera is so funny!! she really stands out in jawbreaker
[ +613, -124] hul.. don’t you think hera’s trying to hard? she should really stick to standing there and looking pretty.. ㅋㅋㅋ
but she cannot complain, no—not when they make it so easy, though they refuse to admit. how dare she ever doubt such planning, despise managers and company alike for branding her in such a way when they themselves have drummed into her mind that there is no such thing as bad publicity, my dear.
and so she laments, grieves over the epitome of poise that once was before the ruins of fame came crashing through, but the exponentially increasing views in her individual fancams and clips has her second-guessing such resentment, such sorrow. (since when has she worshipped glory? popularity? since when has her reflection on a higher being shifted from god to herself?)
thus, she sits there, ever so perfectly and ever so intriguingly, in that infamous white chair of theirs, lets her giggles echo between the white walls and grey cement as if she has no care in the world. as if she was having fun.
this is why ban hyera truly shines.
for she is an actress, and this is a show.
that’s the paradox of loss. how can something’s that gone weigh us down
so much?
— j. picoult ( @idtaekyoon )
★
it hurts too much.
it hurts too much to be with young taekyoon.
because he broke her heart, maybe---or rather, she broke his. she still remembers it vividly: the break-up, that is. his face, his expression. it was around this time, in fact---a cold, winter day in december. the weather clouded with gloominess, as if in some sort of foreshadowing. she remembers she couldn’t look him in the eye the whole time, not even once, because she knew that if she did, it’d be over. she’d lose.
if that’s what makes you happy, hyera.
she wonders if, after four years, she can confidently say that,
that she’s happy?
but the answer still remains clear, even without words---it speaks through hollow eyes, empty movements. through unconscious isolation, the relentless throwing of self into work as a distraction from such a fact. through the scattered beer cans on her floor, the sudden text message of her asking him if he’d like to catch a drink the middle of the night. and then, she’s reminded---that she’s not happy ... at least, not when others are.
kiss her! it’ll be cute!
why can’t people just mind their own fucking business?
for with their drunken stupor and blissful ignorance, they don’t notice---how painful it is, to look at him and realize that a part of their past still lingers (and bears no sign of letting up any time soon). is this what they wanted?---their jeering, did they know that, instead of bringing them together, it succeeds with the complete opposite? did they?
how is this fair?
because of them---because of complete strangers, with no awareness of their history (of their baggage)---she’s on the verge of tears, eyesight blurring as she makes contact with the floor. she pushes him away, obviously, to a distance that feels like miles apart. her jaw clenches, eyebrows furrow---why did he have to do that?
“it’s not fair.”
her fingers furl inward, hands balling into fists. “i worked so hard---these past four years, i did everything. to avoid you, to forget about you, so why---” her breath hitches, lips quiver.
‘CHEER UP’ CAST FINALIZED WITH HERA AS KWON SOOAH, DRAMA TO AIR IN JANUARY
1. [ + 1,351 , - 181 ] Aigoo here we go again, aren’t there too many idols trying to act lately?? At least she’s not the lead but… Has she even acted before? Seriously, I always feel bad for rookie actors when I see this kind of casting news…
2. [ + 1,197 , - 131 ] I don’t know much about Hera but I was reading her character’s description and wow… the fact that she’s an idol aside, isn’t she visually the perfect fit for Kwon Sooah? ㅋㅋㅋ
3. [ + 891 , - 87 ] From Juniper to Yujin to Hera, KJH is really pushing Jawbreaker hard individually lately, it’s so nice to see as a fan ㅠㅠㅠ I’ll be cheering you on our pretty Hyera, fighting!!!
sixth day of christmas: mini holiday meme🎅 / what would hyera ask for christmas this year?
it’s silly, isn’t it?---to ask a rich kid what they want for christmas when, of course, they could have anything they could ever want. she’s found it useless, the typical ‘writing down a list to send to santa’ activity that other children her age would do. instead, father would ensure she was up to date on all the latest gadgets and electronics and whatnot (more so flaunt his wealth than anything), and mother assures her wardrobe with the most fashionable pieces money can buy.
but if she’s to be honest---really, truly honest---then she’d ask for one of her mother brooches; she’d always pin them on her before church, before recitals---when father’s not looking (and breathing down both of their necks). they’re expensive, for sure, but it’s not monetary price for which she desires it, but rather ... the sentimental value, she guesses.
sixth day of christmas: mini holiday meme🤶 / who does hyera want to spend christmas with, and why? (also asked by @idjowi & @idyujin)
there’s no singular person that comes to mind---she could give the typical, broadcast answer of saying her family, or her members, but truthfully? she doesn’t mind spending christmas alone ... or rather, she’s used to it. the only name that pops up in her head is a forbidden one, sailing on a ship that is far gone and far ... well, far.
sixth day of christmas: mini holiday meme🎄 / if and/or how did hyera decorate for christmas this year?
hyera doesn’t have time to celebrate the holidays—let alone decorate for it. with christmas and then new year’s right after—not to mention the end-of-the-year award shows—she finds it useless to waste her energy in doing frivolous things like putting up a tree or hanging stockings in the dorm that doesn’t even feel like home when she has so much to do. so, the short answer: no, she didn’t decorate.
sometimes doing things we used to
reminds of who we used to be, and not always in a good way.
— b. sanderson
★
maybe she’s being petty.
(but then again, this is ban hyera, and ... well,
when is she ever not petty?)
the broadcasting station has become a kind of second home for hyera---obviously as an idol and the like, as it is for everyone, but for some reason it’s just ... different to her. when she’s not promoting, she’s filming---for a variety show, for a drama. and when she’s not filming, she’s auditioning, meeting with potential producers and directors for that ‘next big break’ everyone always seems to talk about.
(it happens to everyone, they say,
well, when’s it going to happen to her?)
she can’t remember the last time she’s laid in her bed, gotten a good hour or so of shut-eye before her manager’s knocking on her door and shuffling her out the front door and into the passenger seat of their van. sure, she could catch up on some much-needed z’s at the hair salon, but the fluorescent lights and company of strangers has her wide awake, has her thinking that she can’t be wasting her time.
so she practices---her lines, of course, from various scripts. not choreography (never choreography) or the like for, by now, it’s been deemed useless to think progressing those kind of skills are vital to her career ... whatever that is right now. an idol? an actress? a general celebrity, maybe, but the thought of it has her seething, has her frustrated with the thought that that’s not good enough.
which such thoughts on her mind---and a busy schedule, to boot---it’s understandable that hyera’s grown a little ... irritable, though, a ‘little’ might be a bit of an understatement.
she’s sitting in her waiting room at the broadcasting station, as she always does, though her door’s wide open this time---something about the air conditioning not work, how the room needs air circulation, blah blah blah. and she overhears voices, loud enough to catch her attention and scan the faces of those loitering outside the room.
and something in her just
snaps.
it’s not like she usually cares about whether her not her reputation as a senior in the industry is respected or not, but, chalk it up the lack of sleep or the lack of significant work, she’s sending daggers to the person across the way who she swears debuted after her.
so she turns to her manager with a voice audible enough that she knows the other can hear, “don’t you just hate it when juniors don’t greet us, oppa? i mean, when we were rookies, we made sure to maintain our manners and know where our place is, but kids these days---it’s quite the pity, don’t you think?”
sixth day of christmas: mini holiday meme❄️ / what is hyera’s response to being underneath mistletoe with taekyoon, on purpose?
at first, she thinks it’s a joke---rolls her eyes, curses him with a ‘haha, very funny’ before she tries to brush past him and finds him blocking her path with rooted position and fixed gaze. and then she gulps, raises her eyebrows at him in slight surprise as she grows uneasy, hesitant. her fingers reach for the hem of her sleeve, tugging at the fabric as she avoids eye contact. steps away, and he begs closer. fuck. so she exclaims, yells a ‘yah!’ at him as she punches him in the chest and briskly turns away to leave ... but not before she bites her lower lip, debates with herself with a solid second and leans over for the quickest peck (and a subsequent slap to the shoulder) because ... well, it is a mistletoe, and this is christmas, isn’t it?
sixth day of christmas: mini holiday meme🎵 / what song does hyera want to cover for christmas? (also asked by @idjunseo)
hyera’s not a religious person; though, her family likes to deceive themselves to believe the opposite. every year, every christmas eve, the ragtag bunch of them stumble into the nearest church (with their all too expensive, all too out-of-place attire) to join in singing hymns and in sharing blessings before they continue on with their distant ways. ever since hyera moved out, of course, such a tradition (if you could even call it that) ceases to exist, but the memories still ring loud and clear—sometimes, when the nights are quiet, and her head is clear. her favorite christmas song—emphasis on christmas, and not on holiday—has always been o holy night, and after two years of training and five years in the industry, she thinks she could do a pretty good job in tackling such a classic.
ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS IDOLIZE GAVE TO ME …
a mini-meme with a holiday theme!
To participate, please reblog this post! Memes do not count for activity and have no strict writing requirements, though we of course encourage you to put forth thought and consideration. Memes should be sent to as many people as possible so that all may participate, even those who reblog later in the “lifespan” of the meme! For every three asks answered, one may redeem 5 points of exp and 5 points of sp. This will cap out at 10 sp earned (so you can redeem points for up to 6 meme answers, to avoid clogging the dash with this specific day of Christmas, though you’re welcome to answer additional asks for no points). These must, as with the others, be completed by midnight of 01/05.
if it is right, it happens—the main thing is not to hurry.
nothing good gets away.
— j. steinbeck
★
( + detail your character recording at a music show. )
how does she say that she hates it?—and when says she hates it, she means sighs and frowns, and concrete, and that guttural ‘h’ in the very beginning and the way the tongue juts at the bottoms of teeth for the short, stopped ‘t’ in the middle.
she hates it, the hot breath and sweat, the secondhand stress and anxiety that oozes off the wall—she’s worried of getting infected, of catching this nasty plague of perfectionism only workaholics have the pleasure of enjoying.
wouldn’t now be such a good time to stop time?
how silly, such dreams; though, they’re the very same thing that led her to here, aren’t they?
her fingers secretly tug at the hem of her dress, wishing that the fabric wouldn’t prick at the surface of her tights like a threat and more like a safety blanket, like armor. she catches one of the stylists eyeing, hurriedly smiles and refolds hands back in lap as the blinking of her eyes attempt to separate the bind that mascara has on her eyelashes.
eyes trail over legs, and she wonders what would occur if she placed a sheet over them, if covering such bareness almost meant shielding vulnerability and weakness.
but that’s impossible on a stage of such bright lights, sweetie.
don’t you think she knows already? is an expert on everything and anything pertaining to such a topic?
ban hyera has trained herself in the expertise of visual seduction, has well-been affiliated with the mastery of deception and enticement through a television screen. corners of her lips perfectly curl upward in delectable smirk; eyes flick through eyelashes in an almost flawlessly-executed fashion. chin down, arch back, turn sideways, tuck in—instructions in a guidebook that no one wrote for her, no, but rather she drafted and penned herself.
the cheers keep her going; the calling of her name, the waving of lights in a crowd of seemingly black. their single has been well-received this time around, and for that, she is grateful; but at what cost?
at what point is it not enough—the recognition, that is—for this to not be worth it anymore? is it when she finds herself staring at exposed body in mirror with a gaze more surgical and critical than that of the internet? is it normal to feel this disgusted, even when looking so pretty? is this what they want? is this the kind of daughter her father expects her to grow up to be?
(that was a trick question; father never wanted a daughter at all.)
and so, the creaking of the dressing room door and the announcement of jawbreaker on deck! snaps her out of her drowning thoughts, brings her back to a reality where she’s staring at a reflection and has to take a second to realize that it’s hers. and she sighs, heavily. lets her lungs collapse for a brief second before refilling them with air, before returning herself to an airiness of oblivion and numbness.
how does she say that she hates it?—or maybe, she already has.
the days are long, but the years are short.
— g. rubin
★
( + november schedule, guesting at a gaming convention. )
for most idols, this would be a dream---a personal invitation to perform at a large convention, an upcoming project with one of the biggest gaming companies in south korea.
but for her, it’s simply a nuisance.
though it’s not like she can admit it---not aloud, at least. for she has signed a contract, has accepted the investments in both time and money to be led to this point; success seems to be so close, but why does she still feel so far away?
for she has not considered herself to be the same, to not hold the same intentions as before when she first stepped on stage; the transformation is obvious, to say the least, but she’s still stuck, still doing something she simply does not love.
and it’s not as if she’s ungrateful---no, but rather, she’s the exact opposite; completely thankful for the career the group and the company have gifted her, she considers such connections to be paramount in her progress thus far.
but it’s not enough.
it’ll never be enough.
because singing, and dancing, and performing are simply just stepping stones to the other side, short detours on a jagged path across rushing river of silent rapids and white rushes. for they are to keep her from drowning but not to teach her how to swim---the life of an idol is not the life of an actress, and ban hyera wants to be an actress.
and so, with every second of downtime that she’s not posing for their photoshoot, she’s memorizing her lines; for every moment she’s not standing behind microphone in recording studio, she’s sitting on couch with phone in hand to monitor herself in recently-aired episodes. and it’s evident---so painfully so---that her dedication is placed elsewhere, to the point where her attitude towards current occupation can easily perceived as laziness, indifference.
but she remains obedient (no matter how much it annoys her to do so) to the commands of her superiors---to the producers, directors, staff members, managers---because that is what she has been trained to do, what she has prepared herself for in the past three years spent in a dungeon, caged behind bars of uncertainty and hopelessness, before being freed, before embarking on a journey that she (somewhat) has control over its course of direction.
she does not smile,
for that would be unfair.
to trick those around her to believe she doesn’t already have one foot out the door, isn’t already prepared to leave at any viable second. for sometimes---those seldom few times---she feels guilty, for acting so half-hearted in a community full of ambition and passion; she questions, maybe, that her position would be better suited for someone else, for someone who actually wants it.
for she doesn’t want this, no, does not want to be attached to some concepts and images; she is not a singer, does not hold the same affinity for music like her peers.
and maybe that’s her downfall, her biggest fear,
to be remembered as jawbreakers’s hera for the rest
of her life.
i was mortified by the prospect of becoming hopelessly trapped in
someone else’s story.
— l. shriver ( @idsooyeon )
★
ban hyera hates im sooyeon.
okay, maybe hate is too strong of a word---
ban hyera very much dislikes im sooyeon.
and there’s no clear reason why, rather, it’s a gut feeling, a natural instinct to visibly frown and scorn at the other brunette’s way when she enters the room. the way she carries herself---sooyeon, that is---just pisses her off, and the fact that it’s only hyera who seems to realize how despicable the other is ... well, that just adds a whole other layer to the ‘fuck you’ that she wishes she could tell her.
but with tonight, maybe that’s a wish no longer.
for with the recent turn of events (and the hushed murmuring to reinforce so), she masks the mischievous smirk tugging at the corner of her lips with the rim of her glass, the glint of trouble in her eyes with the glare of her cellphone.
as this, you see, is a weapon in disguise---the mass text messages, the unknown kakao accounts. the high stakes, the push for danger and risk.
oh, hyera might just
melt from the excitement.
because she already knew that this night would be one for the books, but rather under the guise of a drunken stupor and a slip of the tongue---but now, with any chaos she erupts, she can just blame it on the anonymous perpetrator in her defense of just ‘having’ to do it.
for she needs to win,
and no one else screams ‘being a winner’ quite like ban hyera does.
and so when she scrolls to the bottom (for only pansies would idle near the top of the dare list), her eyes are immediately drawn to one challenge in particular.
red (5 game points)
insult the person you’re closest to, in front of others
she scans the words once, twice, before she glances up and notices the perfect target just walking past, with her typical entourage in tow, too.
she laughs---silently, to herself---as she finishes her glass, places it on the nearby bar counter, before she tosses her hair over one shoulder and begins her trek. “oh, sooyeon!” she calls for the other’s attention. “are you busy right now?
you’re an actress, right?
well, you’re in for a show.
in the best conversations, you don’t even
remember what you talked about, only how it felt.
— j. green ( @idyujin )
★
it isn’t that hard of a decision.
no, it’s rather easy, actually, because while everyone else gasps and murmurs in confusion around her, she just smirks---mischievously, devilishly.
because this is her chance,
to do what social norms usually prevent her from.
and so she silently chuckles to herself, glances over the list of dares that glow on her illuminated screen before she inhales---contently, that is---eyes raising to scan the room as she shoves cellphone into her purse, rim of glass raising to the meeting of her lips.
then she spots her from across the way: kang yujin.
perfect.
so she downs the rest of her champagne (given to her for more ceremonial purposes than anything) before passing the empty glass to a nearby waiter, heels clicking behind her as she makes a beeline for her target---conveniently stopping at the bar on the way, order not one but two shots vodka for that so-called liquid courage (not that hyera’s ever been the type to need it, no, but it’s always a nice alibi to cushion on) before continuing. and then she stops in front of the other, interrupting her ongoing conversation or whatever it is yujin’s doing to speak up.
“yujin---ah!” she exclaims, fake smile and all, as she moves to place her arm on the brunette’s shoulder. “we’re friends, aren’t we?”
yellow (3 game points)
pick a fight
hyera doesn’t even wait for the other to respond as she just goes on, stepping even closer to the other female---so she can hear her loud and clear. “and as friends, you’d want me to tell you anything that’s on my mind so that there’s no ... hard feelings, right?”
and then she has to stop herself from smiling of glee from the thought of her next few words. “and if that’s the case, then you really have to know just how despicable you are.”
“i mean, if it wasn’t for me just being a good friend, you’d continue walking around---in complete bliss---with no idea how utterly obnoxious you are. like truly, i’m amazed that you haven’t realized it until now because ... well, it’s pretty obvious no?”
hello hello hello !! thank you all for the lovely welcome messages---i’m actually an old member of idolize, and hyera is my precious lil’ bb who’s gone through a small revamp since the last time i was here !! the lead vocal + lead dance of jawbreaker, hera was the token variety member (and, thus, most popular member) of her.oine, but with kjh buying them out, she feels a little jilted about not being the center of attention all the time in jawbreaker !! thus, she’s starting to carve her own path in the acting industry because fuck kjh !! fuck jawbreaker !! we’ll see who’s sorry after her beloved paycheck isn’t there to support the group anymore !!
anyways, for a more in-depth view into who ban hyera really is, take a look at my links below---and, of course, like this post if you want to plot !!
