fractures.
@idyujin
for as many things as kim sejun is willing to admit to friends, to reporters, to strangers, his habit of falling in love too quickly wasn’t one of them. that was something he kept close, buried it in the chest and locked it up tight. because for each love, each crush, as magnificent as they were and no matter how they left him feeling full and warm. but they never lasted, lighting up his sky like fireworks before fizzling out and leaving him feeling nothing but dark and cold.
you’d figure that by now he’d be used to it, would try to avoid feelings like this and instead focus on other things like music or his career. but, of course not, because that would be far too easy and honestly sejun never does anything the easy way. if he did, he wouldn’t be in this mess.
he never plans it, never looks at someone and wishes he could fall in love with them. no, instead if sneaks up on him like a wave crashing overhead, wrapping around him and dragging down beneath the depths until he’s too far under and not getting out anytime soon.
roommates was a beautiful disaster, a chance for him to get out from beneath the shelter of his members’ wings. and for as much fun as he had, it was hard. hard for sejun to put himself out there, to actually speak and ask for the things he wanted, to share his memories and thoughts with cameras cataloging his every moment. the first few hours, days were hard and he fought against every instinct to stare at the cameras, to learn where they all were, and to avoid those spots, a task absolutely impossible. but yujin? she was surprising. she was someone who drew him out of his shell, had made the experience a lot easier for him. and before he knew it, there was something soft and sweet growing in his chest, throbbing everytime they met eyes and she smiled at him. and before he knew it, the entire experience was over and he expected his feelings to fade like they always did. sejun expected the distance between them to help.
but he knows that nothing he expects ever quite turns out the right away. so instead of fading away, it grows slowly but surely, without him realizing it. until he learns they’ll be seeing each other again, both participating on dancing9, though on the opposing teams. he couldn’t help but to think about their friendship, the moments they shared on roommates.
and before he realizes it, sejun is digging his phone out of his pocket and shooting off a text to yujin. he teases her, promising her that he’s going to crush her so hard she’ll wish that she never joined the show. and then with more courage that he knows he has, he suggests meeting up, wanting to catch up.
the coffee shop is empty when he enters, the late hour almost ensuring anonymity for anyone daring to venture out in the frigid weather. sejun nuzzles down into his coat and stares at the menu, trying to figure out what he can get away with. he settles on a hot chocolate and exchanges a few words with the exhausted barista behind the counter, stepping away to grab a table in the back before slumping in the chair, a little bit tired from spending too many hours awake and in the practice rooms.
