#umgah

[doctor-dorky]

The Cargo Bay Boys

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[starshipjunkheap]

Beeb'Ob Infodump

The Junk Heap's navigator, Umgah Beeb'Ob has quite the story behind him, it's high time I did an infodump about him too!

For some odd reason, Beeb'Ob was highly disliked by his fellow Umgah peers. There really was no reason why they despised him, other than the fact that he's "too nice" when it comes to the kinds of pranks Umgah play, even on eachother. Because he was so disliked for no other valid reason, he was ostracized by the Umgah around him. Except one.

And that one Umgah who genuinely liked him, even loved him, was the spectacle-wearing and soft-hearted Oo'na. Just like Beeb'Ob is a completely male Umgah(as he has strictly male genetics), Oo'na is strictly female for the same reason, and she was the only other friend, soon love interest, that Beeb'Ob ever had.

Beeb'Ob fled his homeworld in search of Oo'na(who was stationed as a patrol scout somewhere), but ended up in an accident that led him to being recruited by the Junk Heap, because of the numerous niceties he's displayed by pure gratitude. He hasn't told them about who he's searching for yet, but with visible respect and interest in Lavender, he keeps forgetting to ask.

Beeb'Ob's not like most Umgah whose jokes are cruel and damaging to others. His jokes are the usual scares or silly practical joke that doesn't harm anyone. Because in all honesty, he doesn't like to harm others for the sake of a joke. Where that softness stems from is unknown, but that softness and gentlemanly nature he shows is what makes him different(with the exception of Oo'na, of course).

He still goes to show his gentlemanly nature, by averting his eyes when he's in a locker or shower room, reaching in to fix the hem of a suit or allowing one of the female crewmates to enter first before he follows behind.

And he has quite the eye for things that are out of place. Such was the case for what got him enlisted in the first place, by fixing up the Junk Heap's malfunctioning navigation system, among other things.

[zarla-s]

Can you talk about the Ilwrath and Umgah? I feel like the Ilwrath are so violent, yet so easily tricked. And what’s up with the Umgah with their pranks?

Sure, why not. As a reminder, you can play StarCon2 for free right now! Don’t play with the voices though.

Gigantic sentient spiders, the Ilwrath revel in violence, cruelty, and torture. They’re deeply religious and devoted to their dark twin gods of death and destruction, Dogar and Kazon, and commit all sorts of atrocities in their name. They joined the Ur-Quan as battle thralls in hopes of finding new species to torture and sacrifice. They’re fond of eating and torturing humans in particular. They wanted to sacrifice all humans in a huge ritualistic blood orgy (called “Mountains of Flesh”) after the War was won for the Ur-Quan, but the Ur-Quan told them not to since humans were technically under their protection at that point, which the Ilwrath sulked about but ultimately obeyed.

Why are the Ilwrath like this? The Pkunk theorize that the Ilwrath used to be a race of pure, enlightened Good beings, but became SO good that they wrapped all the way around and became completely evil instead. Though how accurate that is, who can say, haha. For a while in Ilwrath history they worshipped many different gods, but eventually a priest caste rose up and declared Dogar and Kazon the only true gods, and demanded everyone else forsake the others. The Ilwrath became a rigid theocracy and their society devoted all its time and effort into finding new horrors to commit in Dogar and Kazon’s name. Mostly murdering and cannibalism (cannibalism is a big part of Ilwrath Birthing Rites), but self-harm isn’t unheard of either, with Ilwrath ripping off their own limbs as commanded. Their technological level was quite primitive when the Ur-Quan found them, so they were easily subjugated. Once they became thralls, the Ur-Quan upgraded their ships and such, and the Ilwrath began causing terror and chaos where they went with great glee.

After humans were slaveshielded, the Ilwrath ran into a problem - some kind of bureaucratic error had ended up with them running out of beasts to sacrifice for their dark rituals. This caused something of a religious crisis for many Ilwrath, who kept asking for guidance from Dogar and Kazon. Lo and behold, Dogar and Kazon decided to contact them via a Hyperwave channel! The ruling priest caste at that point told everyone to be skeptical, but the majority of Ilwrath at that point were unhappy with the over-taxation, lack of sacrifices, lack of “quality death in ceremony”, and over-complicated pronouncements from the priests about Dogar and Kazon’s will. They rose up and murdered the entire priest caste and decided to follow the will of the HyperWave broadcasts, which told them to go murder the Pkunk, which they’re happily doing by the time the game starts.

One of the amusing things about the Ilwrath is how bureaucratic they can be about their own evilness, and in many ways just how casual they are about what they’re doing. They really do seem obsessed with the concept of evil more than anything else, and try very hard to match up to that perception. The Ilwrath are so fanatical in their belief of their Gods that it’s hard for them to express any kind of doubt in them, which, in turn, leaves them very open to manipulation…

Some of you out there may be thinking that the HyperWave broadcasts of Dogar and Kazon seemed suspicious, and you’d be right in thinking so.

It wasn’t actually Dogar and Kazon. It was the Umgah.

The Umgah can charitably be described as “pranksters” with a warped sense of humor… but their pranks often have incredibly dire consequences for their victims. If something suspicious happens in the galaxy, there’s a good chance an Umgah was behind it.

The Umgah are agoraphobic blobbies that live in caves they cover with biological flesh-like material, where they study bio-science (they like attaching and detaching limbs to themselves for fun) and scheme up cruel tricks to play on other races. They have a unique laugh (“Har! Har! Har!”) and speech pattern which belies the fact that they’re actually very intelligent and crafty. They’re also rather unpredictable and unreliable, and can change their mind rapidly for the sake of a joke. There’s nothing they hate more than being bored.

As mentioned, the Umgah were the ones who pretended to be Dogar and Kazon and commanded them to attack the Pkunk. Their other favorite target for pranks is the Spathi, who they loved to also terrorize with their HyperWave broadcasts, pretending to be several terrifying evil beings, like the Grand Master Planet Eaters, Killmaster 18, or Jed the Ineffable Vug, causing widespread panic among the Spathi populace. At least until the Spathi stole the caster away from them and hid it. The Umgah are also implied to have been the ones who brought the Evil Ones to the Spathi Homeworld of Spathiwa, again presumably just for kicks. They were going to play some tricks on the Thraddash as well but got interrupted before they got the chance.

Weirdly, the Umgah are friends with the Arilou, who find their antics amusing. Which isn’t that surprising for the Arilou, really. It’s a wonder how the Ur-Quan keep the Umgah in-line honestly, but by the time of the game, the Ur-Quan are too distracted to pay any of their Thralls too much mind.

The Umgah are involved in a major plot event as well, which I wonder how much I should go into here… well, if some of you want to hear more about the Dnyarri, then maybe I’ll get more into it. When you rescue the Umgah, they’ll give you praise and fulfill your requests… until they get bored, at which point they decide it’d be more interesting if you were their Great Enemy. Not only that, they then give you some of their OWN SHIPS before they attack you! The Umgah are so ridiculous.

Hi there, human! How old fluid sacks today?What?! You don’t HAVE fluid sacks?Har! Har! Har! What do you call your mate then?!! Har! Har! Har!…you don’t HAVE mate?THAT’S EVEN FUNNIER! Har! Har! Har!

Hi there, human Earthling! What'cha here for today?What? Can’t quite hear you? You have to speak up!Hey! What problem here?Human Earthling making fun of me?THIS SOME KIND OF STUPID HUMAN EARTHLING TRICK? BECAUSE IF ISHar! Har! Har!… fooled ya, didn’t I?

Well pop my pupae! It human Earthling again!It just doesn’t learn, does it? To Arms! To Arms!… wait a minute! Don’t HAVE any arms!AIEE!! MY ARMS!! WHO HAS STOLEN MY ARMS!!! AIEEE!! ARM THIEF!!!Har! Har! Har!… Never HAD any arms! Har! Har! Har!

Look, we all decided that our treating you this wayand by that mean, attacking you without mercy all timewell, we decided that it just plain unfair.REALLY, after all things you’ve done for our people!So we decided to make you our honorary KING! Congratulations!Braankk!!What that sound, officer Flubbo? It was? You sure? King-Killing Horn?Har! Har! Har! What a sad coincidence, eh, Captain King?

Captain: So, since I’m your Great Hero Guy, tell me all your secrets.Umgah: Secrets, huh? You want secrets? OUR SECRETS!?YOU MADE FATAL MISTAKE, HUMAN!!… Har! Har! Har! Good joke, eh? Scared you!

And a glimpse of the Ilwrath speaking pattern too.

Captain: Tell me about your fascinating customs.Ilwrath: Ah, Our Culture Is Rich With Meaningful Tradition.During The Birth Rite The Egg Sac Teems With Many New Potential DeathsThe Hatchlings Fight Over Their First Frothy Draught Of Blood.In The Ensuing Frenzy, Many Hatchlings Are Consumed, Either Partially Or In Their Entirety.A Frequently Performed Ceremony Of Affirmation Has The Participant Grinding Away Partial Or Even Whole Appendages.It Is The Pain That Acknowledges The Greatness Of The Twins Of ExcruciationHow Can They Help But Notice The Scream Caused By The Mangled Nervous Tissue?

In terms of ships, the Umgah Drone is… strange. It has an antimatter cone as its primary weapon, which can do a lot of damage if you get stuck in it, but it’s very short range. Its other ability has it shoot backwards randomly and rapidly in a way that’s super disorienting. The AI is very good at using this ability to trip you out and trap you in the cone, so fighting AI controlled Umgah ships is a real pain.

The Ilwrath Avenger, instead, has a flamethrower for its main weapon, and a very interesting subweapon… it can cloak itself! The screen still follows where the Ilwrath is, so it’s not like the MOST effective cloaking method, but it can still be disorienting for a human opponent. You’d usually want to get in close with the Avenger and then unleash the flamethrower and hopefully take out your opponent in one swoop.

Finally, the Ilwrath theme is ominous with a heavy beat, and the Umgah theme is… bizarre, with a lot of dripping and plinking sounds.

[zarla-s]

The ol Starcontrol 2 again

[doctor-dorky]

Stand by for Umgah Patrol Officer, Oo’na! She’s a tough cookie who's willing to put up a fight for the sake of all things right in her own universe!

[tinsnip]

(via Umgah.webp (WEBP Image, 485 × 213 pixels))

[afancyartblerg]

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Hayes: Captain, we've recieved transmissions lately from the direction of Gamma Orionis. It appears the Umgah want to speak with you about something "very important". Due to the giggling at the end of the transmission, we reccommend you exercise caution if you decide to go there, Captain. The Umgah haven't earned their reputation as pranksters for nothing.

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Umgah: So human heard transmissions! Were hoping you'd come, human Earthling! Har! Har! Har! We hear rumor that Ur-Quan catch you, human! Hear Ur-Quan experiment on you, but let you go because you not what they looking for. Make human Talking Pet! Har! Har! Only human not smart enough! We want to know if rumor is true, since if IS true, human maybe genetically modified! Would explain a lot, eh, human Earthling? Har! Har! Har! Zelnick: That is so not true. Umgah: Not true? Har! Har! Of course you say that... ...you asleep when they modify you, so you no remember! You got funny scars, human Earthling? Scars you no remember getting? Zelnick: I most certainly do not. If I had "funny scars" I'd know about it. Umgah: You check lately, human Earthling? Maybe you not know. If you too stupid to be talking pet... maybe you too stupid to notice scars. Why don't you look? Har! Har! Har! Zelnick: Fine, I'll look. There, I don't see anything. ...Where did you hear they'd be, anyway? Umgah: Could be anywhere, human Earthling! We not Ur-Quan, we not know. You look everywhere? (Har!) (Har!) (Har!) Zelnick: Fine, I'll look everywhere! There! No one did any experimenting on me! You can see for yourself! Umgah: Har! Har! Har! We see, Earthling, we see! No genetic modification scars after all! Har! Har! Funny rumor, eh? We just be going now. (Har! Har! Har!) Zelnick: What?! Who told you THAT? Umgah: Reliable source, human Earthling! Har! Har! Har! We not believe it ourselves, but source very reliable. Rumor seem true... unless you prove it not true. Zelnick: Uh huh. So who was this source? Umgah: Source not want name given out. Confidentiality big concern for source! Har! Har! Har! But if you not care that all races think you big freak... not our problem. Har! Har! Har! Zelnick: I'm not a freak, your source is a freak. And misinformed. Umgah: Har! Har! No proof, no believe! 'fraid you big genetic mistake now, human, Earthling. Everyone think so, and everyone who not think so... ...we make sure they think so too! Truth must get out, eh, human Earthling? Har! Har! Unless you stop it now... Zelnick: Ha ha. Bye. Umgah: Har! Har! Is funny, yes! Human Earthling impervious to hearsay! Wonder if human Earthling impervious to battle? Har! Har! Har!

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Hayes: Captain, we have been recieving a non-stop hyperwave broadcast... the contents of which I don't want to say more about than I have to. I can't believe I even have to say this... Captain, why on EARTH did you ever strip in front of the Umgah?! How stupid ARE you, Captain?! Of COURSE they were recording you! What did you THINK they wanted to do?! You would not believe the amount of questions I've had to field about this... and frankly I don't know how you haven't yet died of shame. Knowing the Umgah, I'm sure the video has already been circulated around known space... and you're lucky that no one has broken their alliance with us because our leader is a complete idiot. It's because of things like this that I seriously doubt our success in this war, Captain. In the future, I hope you won't fall for any more stupid pranks like this... and shame every member of your crew and, in fact, the human race.