IM SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING ON THIS FIC FOR MY FRIEND BUT UHHMMMMM DAD GHOST AND UNCLE SOAP HAVE ME IN A CHOEKHOLD RN.
LIKE- I couple of twins boys and a little girl?? yes, me thinks so.
Dad!Simon who buys his kids only what they need whereas Uncle!Soap who buys them whatever they hell they want.
Dad!Simon who tells Uncle!Soap off for it, but really doesnt mind-until there's five huge twenty gallon totes in his basement and/or garage. Filled with nothing but T O Y S.
And Uncle!Soap finds it SOOOO funny-so he keeps doing it! Whatever they want-wether he's just babysitting or wether it's their birthdays/xmas, he'll buy it-just so hear Dad!Simon say, "Jonny, she didnt need that new teaset! Her old one is just fine." or "Jonny! My son in not old enogh to use a foikin PISTOL! WUT VA HELL, MATE!?"
Dad!Simon who will make whatever his kids want-or buy them fast food whenever they want cuz his kids DO NOT like his cooking-
Uncle!Soap you forces the food he makes down their throats-not latterly-"C'mon now, Dillian! Ye wanna be big n strong like me n yer pop, ye!? well boi-ye've got tah eat yer colliflowa!" or-or-"Lillyyyyy, pleasee, Sweets! Eat your cabbage! It's good f'ye!"
Dad!Simon who does NOTHING to help Uncle!Soap when his picky ass kids dont like the food.
Uncle!Soap, even if he's in his fourites, will fake cry to make Simon's kids eat the food he made. "I-I spend THREE HOURS makin you ungreatful lot food-N YE DONNAE EVEN EAT IT!"
Dad!Simon who notes how well Jonny plays with his daughter and sons. Doing ballet with Lilly, or taking Dillian to the skate park to ride his skateboard that Jonny baought for him last month. Teaches him how to ride it too. Or taking Xavier to the library so he can check out the world's most inappropriate books.
Dad!Simon who thinks to himself at night: 'Damn...what if the kids called him "daddy Jonny" instead of Uncle?' and pushes the thought away-only to slowly slip his hand inside of his boxers as he thinks of all the ways he'd fuck Jonny in his bed-
Uncle!Soap who thinks the same things as Simon-even went to the boys' middle school and told off the mother and father of their bullie-who thought it was a good idea to punch Zavier in the face.
Dad!Simon who finds out about this and UNcle!Soap has to hold this mad down for thirty secounds before Simon just laughs and says, "Whatter ya, Gay?"
and both of the men who laugh and laugh and laugh over that-but both are thinking, "For you, I am."
