wip check for eventual kidnapper older bf!matt

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wip check for eventual kidnapper older bf!matt
P’Vee needs to listen to Nong Jack and shut his mouth 😶
9 years since the arena erupted into screams and cries... ❤️
(Can anyone else hear Unconditionally by Katy Perry??)
I've been thinking about the "start over? // no" image on loop for the past few days, about "this will never happen again" from a1's perspective on that one character chart and i can't decide if it's more devastating to theorize that this is because he a) on some level regrets the sacrifices he committed for a2, playing the sacrificial lamb and wishes he had grown to be what he is, not what he perceives the people around him to want; or b) thinks his involvement fucked a2 up irrevocably, blames himself and wishes they never met. which im leaning towards because of the "who did this to you" flashback / ptsd dream from the comic AND because im not sure if a1 is cognizant enough / not in denial enough to have resentment.
its definitely both, he (however subconsciously) accepts responsibility for how a2 turned out and i think thats why he can still love and forgive and see a2 as good and pure and innocent despite the atrocities he commits. but i think a part of him, a part he’d probably claim that he’s outgrown, deeply resents him. bc like…after all hes done… after everything hes given up so give a2 can have a chance at being normal and happy and successful, a2 is still a fuck up. and a failure. and that reflects poorly on him, bc a2 is supposed to be an extension of him, is supposed to be his second chance.
and then he feels guilty for having unkind thoughts, and goes right back to blaming himself for not doing enough
Trey Parker wants to hit me with a hammer. Do you agree?
baked with love