Calling all the Davids 😆🤣🤣🙈
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Bonus↓

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Calling all the Davids 😆🤣🤣🙈
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Bonus↓
Sherman and Thomas 一 westie roomies for life 😏
I get that you are joking Dave, but maybe consider your audience first 😅💀🔥
#instafeed au — The Volcano Ramen Aftermath
(This conversation unfolds in the Fantastic Union Four™'s group chat)
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Grant: "So how does your stomach feel now, Bill? Any better now?"
Sherman: "Gee, thanks for asking, Lys. Yeah sure... it feels much better now. The toilet though, I had to fix the plumbing first thing in the morning, and let me tell you, it was quite the hassle, but I could finally get it under control on my own. No need for a call for the plumber just yet..."
Sherman: "wait WHAT THE HECK WHY ARE YOU SENDING THIS IN THE GROUP CHAT"
Grant: "wait this is the group chat??"
Sherman: "YOU RAGGEDY DRAT"
Sherman: "DON'T PLAY DUMB."
Sheridan: "Who is constipated??"
Sheridan: "First thing in the morning I read messages about toilet plumbing??"
Grant: "It was Sherman."
Sherman: "I WASN'T CONSTIPATED."
Sherman: "If anything it was an absolute free flow — diarrhea!"
Sherman: "Anyhow I'll spare you from the graphic details... I am fine now if you're asking."
Grant: "^What he said"
Grant: "*also that's what I first meant"😅
Sheridan: 😂😂😂😂😂
Sheridan: "What did you get it from Bill??" 😂😂😂
Sherman: "A food challenge — a spicy one at that too."
Grant: "We were dining at a ramen place last night and they have this super spicy ramen challenge and Billy took on it. He succeeded at the challenge, but as you see, it was not without its own cost..."
Sheridan: "OMG A SPICY RAMEN CHALLENGE WHERE DID YOU TWO GO TO FOR RAMEN??"
Grant: "Phil this is not an endorsement for the challenge... 😫😓"
Sheridan: "WAIT I think I saw Billy's instagram story — was it Asakusa Ramen??"
Grant: "Yeah that was the place 😓"
Sheridan: "AWESOME I'LL GO THERE NEXT TIME I DINE OUT AND I'LL TAKE ALONG CUSTER WITH ME AND TAKE THE CHALLENGE! 😏🔥😈"
Grant: "Phil..."
Grant: "This was meant as a warning. 😅😓😫"
Thomas: "Reading someone's bowel movement report first thing in the morning — what a way to start the day."
Sheridan: "Oh hi there old Tom! 😄"
Thomas: "Cumpy's quite the spice demon isn't he?"
Grant: "It was quite a sight to behold, Tom — frightening even."
Sherman: "Don't think I actually report that much about my bowel movement here, old Tom."
Thomas: "And yet it is still one line too many."
Sherman: "Sheeesh =_="
Sherman: "Besides it wasn't supposed to be talked here anyway"
Thomas: "As it should be"
Sherman: "If it weren't for that cunning drat Grant"
Grant: "Gee Billy, I honestly don't realize it — so sorry about it, okay?? 😅🙏🙏"
Sherman: 😒
Sherman: "Whatever."
Sheridan: "But what about your own bowel movement, old Tom? All going well??"
Thomas: =_=
Thomas: "STOP"
Sheridan: "Well if you don't do your dumps in the morning doesn't that mean you have constipation??"
Thomas: "I said STOP this topic right now =_="
Grant: 😅😅🙈
Sherman: 😂😂😂
Sherman: "Oh well good morning to you all gentlemen~"
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(On Grant/Sherman's own text thread...)
Sherman: "You weaselly minx! Just say that you intended to trick me to share it all in the group chat"
Grant: "Billy I am really sorry 😫😓🙏🙏 that was truly unintentional 🙏🙏🙏"
Grant: "I was actually about to switch to this text thread but you already replied with a lot in the group chat 😅"
Sherman: "YOU SON OF A ..."
Sherman: "DAMN YOU AND YOUR PUDGY THUMBS"
Grant: "Aw Billy...😞😞"
Grant: "I was truly concerned about you..."
Grant: "and I definitely intended to keep it just between the two of us."
Grant: "but my slip of thumb really spoiled it to everyone else..."
Grant: "I mean sure I'd eventually share our ramen dine out story to the group chat, though without the stomach report of course 😅"
Grant: "but I can assure you that it was an honest-to-God mistake, so...would you please forgive me? 🙏🙏🙏"
Sherman: 😤
Sherman: "Fine."
Sherman: "It is forgiven."
Grant: "You won't get back at me for this, right? 😅"
Sherman: "Like that's gonna stop me from getting back at you"
Grant: 😫😫😫
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(the end for now)
The Fantastic Union Four™ — Roadtrip AU — at the supermarket (or establishments similar to it)
•The gang initially planned to buy all the foodstuffs together — only for some feeling dissatisfied with the way they bought the foodstuff (eg. what to buy, how much, etc.). They later decided to buy foodstuffs individually — though as they go further along on their trip they (instinctively) decide on buying the foodstuff together again.
•Sheridan tends to overbuy foodstuffs, and he often gets reproached by Sherman for it. He is told not to buy too much food (and he later complies — only to be proven that stockpiling food during your trip might not be such a bad thing to do (esp. when they are forced to stop longer during Grant's ultra bad trip 🍀🔥💀))
•Sherman is often distracted by (potentially) useful trinkets he comes across during the trip and more often than not (since these trinkets are often quite cheap), he ends up buying them (...only to find out that more than half of them end up being useless 😅😂🙈).
•Grant has the inverse problem — the few things he buys ends up being very useful — though many of them come at a steep price (and Sherman takes issue with it — though Grant (with the help of Thomas) convinces Sherman that the (idle) purchase is still worth it 😅🙈)
•Thomas rarely needs to buy something (non-food) for himself, so he ends up watching over the others so that they don't overspend. Unfortunately this means that sometimes Thomas forgets to buy things for himself (or Frances) when he does need to buy something on the trip.
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Grant: "...'Mane and Tail?' They sell shampoo for horses in a general grocery store??"
Sheridan: "Whoa, is that really a shampoo for horses??" ("How extravagant!")
Sherman: (squints) "...it says shampoo for men and women on the label..."
Grant: "...huh? ...so, not a shampoo for horses then?" ("But why do they have a picture of a horse on the label??")
Thomas: "I ask the employee over there, she says that it is a shampoo for human being..."
Grant: "...is that so?"
Sherman: "Hm, interesting..." (raises an eyebrow)
(Grant ends up buying the shampoo. Sherman complains yet again about the price tag ("It's too much for a shampoo!"). Grant asks the others to help him use up the shampoo during the trip. Even with the trip back to their homes it isn't enough to use up all the shampoo...)
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(Grant's residence, right after the road trip)
Grant: "Julia, look what I've got!" (shows her the bottle of "Mane and Tail" shampoo)
Julia: "What does this suppose to mean Ulyss?? Is this some kind of joke??" ("It's not funny!")
Grant: "No, Julia, it's not a joke! I am in earnest — this is a shampoo for humans, and I must say quite a good one at that too! You should try it!"
Julia: "But why is the brand name..." (frowns incredulously at Grant)
Grant: "You can stroke my hair!"
Julia: (strokes Grant's hair) "Oh my gosh it's So SMOOTH! So much smoother than when you first went for the trip!"
Grant: "...right??" (smiling, beaming with joy)
Julia: "Ulyss, you might have just bought the best shampoo I have ever come across!"
(Julia is now convinced by Grant's shampoo purchase, she ends up using it right away on that day and telling everyone both through the phone and in person about the shampoo...)
So, remember when I wrote in the tags about the ACW/ATLA element benders AU that both Ulysses S. Grant and Robert E. Lee are waterbenders? And when Bobby Lee goes to Appomattox court house he ends up starting a one-on-one duel with Grant?
Anyhow, this is how it all goes a very brief version of it:
When Lee steps into the courthouse he actually complies with what Grant has written to him two days prior the meeting, but when they try to finalize the term of surrender, Lee, in a fit of desperation, starts attacking Grant, and the staffs accompanying him also start attacking Grant's staffs. The Lee staffs are quickly held down by Grant's (element benders) staffs, but when the others try to bring them to a safer place (as prisoners), Lee attacks some of these (nonbenders) Union staffs, and Grant is able to divert his attacks and make Lee faces him again (while the rest of both benders and nonbenders Union staffs evacuate the room, both to hold the two Lee staffs custody and to attempt to protect the space where both Lee and Grant duel each other).
At first they are bending just water (both bending the supply they had with them), but it is only a matter of time until they can no longer use the water they have and Lee starts bending Grant's blood. Grant attempts to keep bending whatever amount of water left around them, but then he struggles to even keep fighting since Lee is starting to control his limbs by bloodbending.
Lee is able to thrash him around like a ragdoll for a little while, while Grant struggles to break free of Lee's bloodbending control. Grant keeps getting battered around until...
...he is finally able to reverse the energy flow between him and Lee, and he too starts bending the blood 一 Lee's blood.
Now the duel starts to even out again. Once Grant gets ahold of bending Lee's blood he is able to push back and return the favor right away. Meanwhile in another part of the place the bender staffs of the Union Army 一 some protecting the prisoners, some protecting the place, and then the rest of them think of checking on the ongoing duel 一 Sheridan eventually volunteers on going to check on Grant. When Sheridan heads back to the room where the duel is happening, Lee notices him and thrashes him by bloodbending, initially attempting to hold both Grant and Sheridan under his control. Grant, seeing that Lee is partially distracted from him, finally summons all the power left in him and bends Lee's whole blood, therefore bending his whole body, pins him down and bends him into a kneeling position. (Sheridan is stunned by Lee's attack, and when he sees Grant holding down Lee by bloodbending he could only step back, go out of the room and stare with bewilderment at the situation.)
Grant, pent up with astonishment and anger at Lee's gall to try one last fight at a surrender negotiation attempt, utters this contemptuously while holding Lee in position.
Grant: "...I said enough fighting! How many more men you want to shed their blood for this?"
Lee: (heavy breathing) (whispers) "...I see you are finally able to catch up onto it..." (in a slightly louder voice) "...draw my blood out then, I dare you."
Grant: "...beg your pardon?"
Lee: "You heard what I said 一 draw my blood out, end my misery on this earthly realm..."
Grant: (stares incredulously at Lee, mutters under his breath) "...no..."
Lee: "You know you can do it..."
Grant: "...and what, then? Draw your blood out only to draw more ire and disdain from the people of the South, only for them to resent the North further and keeping on fighting this increasingly futile fight? No, I need you to surrender and I need you alive to face the hubris that is your own cause that started this very rebellion!"
With that Grant stuns Lee by his bloodbending, rendering him unconscious for a while. Sheridan, who has witnessed the rest of the fight peeping in from the outside of the room finally comes in to Grant's side. Grant, draws a heavy breath, is relieved when he sees Sheridan, later also Rawlins (who intends to catch up on Sheridan, seeing that he doesn't come back as he initially stated before he headed in), come to his side. Staring morosely, he states to both of them in a half-whisper, that that would be the first and the last time he bends blood.
一一一一一一一一一一一一一一一一一一一
The surrender negotiation goes ahead and things go more or less similarly to the original TL ;p. Some time right after the end of the rebellion Lee tries to bend water 一 only to find out that he is no longer able to bend it. He realizes that Grant, perhaps inadvertently, had made him unable to bend water again (let alone blood).
Perhaps this is truly the fitting end for him.
The Fantastic Union Four™ — Road Trip AU
Back on the road again, Baby! 😏
This is going to be a short one, I think...
The fantastic union four™ is driving again after their prolonged stop! The overall mood is jolly all around, especially with the recovery of Grant’s health. Before the drive starts Thomas asked Grant to sit in the back this time if he isn’t driving (and whether he’d mind it). Grant accepts this new arrangement and now sits in the back seat whenever he’s not driving (which is quite the new occurrence). He is not used to see Sherman sitting in the front when he is not driving at first, but he doesn’t mind it and he muses that he might be Sheridan’s new bantering partner, a prospect that he welcomes and dreads in equal parts. Grant, having not completely recovered, starts dozing off not long after they get into the car and drive for a few miles...
Not a few miles going out of the motel and Sheridan already attempts to start bickering bantering again with Sherman, Sherman is about to respond until Thomas (driving) grabs his left knee and whispers “...remember what I told you” and Sherman snorts, mutters “...alright” and grits his teeth. He doesn’t respond to Sheridan’s attempt on bantering surprisingly this lasts almost as long as their whole drive on that day. This left Sheridan with almost nothing to do except munching on his beef jerky stockpile.
Sheridan tries to amuse himself on his own — counting cars, counting cars driving in the opposite direction, staring at the clouds and counting them, staring at the scenery, munching beef jerky — sure enough he runs out of methods of amusing himself rather quickly there is just nothing like bantering with your old friend! Sheridan wanted to have a chat for a bit with Grant but Grant dozed off so quickly once they get into the car, and with Sherman not responding to him he is left with no one to talk with. Sheridan, also bemused with how slow Thomas drives the car, is bored to death — until a brilliant idea pops into his mind.
At a point of their drive Sherman asks Sheridan for a stick of beef jerky. Sheridan gives him a spicy one (”The spiciest one that I bought!” 😏😈🔥), thinking that it will give an interesting reaction out of him. Sheridan passes him the spicy beef jerky. Sherman thanks him and gladly eats it. A moment passes, one minute passes, two minutes... and nothing. Nothing that he expected happens. Sheridan is confused. He asked Sherman about the spicy beef jerky.
Sheridan: “Billy, isn’t that beef jerky...giving you anything interesting?”
Sherman: (befuddled with Sheridan’s question) “Erm, yeah? It is a delicious, richly seasoned jerky.”
Sheridan: (stupefied) ”DID YOU NOT FIND IT SPICY AT ALL?”
Sherman: (slightly puzzled by Sheridan’s reaction) “...yeah it’s spicy, but a nice kind of spicy. Why do you ask?”
Poor Sheridan only figures out at that point that Sherman is not only a fire demon, he is also a spice demon. 😈🔥
At a tank station they stop for a refuel, a toilet break and a driver change — this time it’s Sherman’s turn to drive. Thomas, eager for a nap break who knew that sleeping all night slumping on a chair is bad for you, goes on sitting in the back once they are back on the road again. Grant, waking up after sleeping for quite some time, now gets to sit in the front again. Now he truly feels more refreshed and back to being himself before the damned smoke if not already slightly weary from the ride. On the upside at least, he feels like he is ready to be the driver again. Sherman is glad to see that Grant is already well enough to be a driver again (to replace him or Thomas).
Sherman: “So, Ulyss, how about we drive full speed ahead?”
Grant: “Let’s go drive full speed ahead, Billy...” 😏
Thomas: (mutters from the back seat, almost inaudibly) “...don’t do anything crazy, Cump.”
Sherman: (half whispers) “Don’t you worry, old Tommy, just settle down back there and leave it to me and Ulyss this time — it’s all going to be fine this time around...”
Thomas is bemused with Sherman’s speedy way of driving, but there is little he can do about it for Grant is actually quite the speed demon himself and together they’d definitely go for speed and it’s not long until he dozes off the way Grant did earlier in their ride, and off they go, further on their trip...