hi! i hope you've been having a wonderful christmas eve! (or wonderful evening in general if you don't celebrate christmas)
i was just wondering what your pronouns are? since it doesn't seem to be anywhere on your tumblr or tiktok bio, and i don't want to misgender you by accident.
thank you!
I'm doing great! A little sick lately but that's okay, it just don't really react well to a hot and stuffy climate lol.
Omg I TOTALLY forgot to introduce myself didn't I? So here we go then!
Hi, I'm Alex, I'm a trans guy that uses he/him pronouns even though I still like some feminine stuff (and still have a girly voice too). I usually draw myself very little, but when I do, I'm represented by this little guy right here:
He's a direct portrait of myself tbh, we look identical (yes, I'm blue irl)
Some facts about me;
1. I'm mainly a traditional artist, that's why ALL of the drawing posts I made here are on paper, I simply cannot draw with my fingers yet (planning to get a drawing tablet with TikTok live income in the future so it has more quality)
2. I'm a minor so usually I just delete weird stuff people ask about Nightmare on the ask (like once when an Anon asked if they could crack Nightmare, telling Moon to look away), it freaks me out because idk what to do at first so I'd be happy if people made questions fitting for any age to see (like usual they do).
3. I'm Brazilian! And somehow, learned English by watching gacha life videos back in 2018... Now days I'm fighting to get an English course diploma.
4. I have an hyperfocus with art in general, I've already made collars, bracelets, pottery, paintings, origami and much more, not to mention I draw since I was a little midget (the whole hyperfocus thing is probably because of ASD)
FRIEND, oh dear dear mutual, you’re Hurting me Baaaad with this one. paris in flames has honestly been becoming one of my favorite songs, not just one of my favorite thursday songs and Thiiiiisss<3…
also, just to connect the bodily dysmorphia and dysphoria a little bit again on that “needle is a vector” bit— of course it’s about heroin (and aids, which is also a great point OMG!!!!) but that heroin use is also due to a dissatisfaction with one’s body, right? so the needle is a vector for skinniness, for thinness, for Change. and that need for change is due to dysmorphia, but also due to dysphoria. especially because geoff wants to get Smaller (smallness being a typically feminine trait). maybe the skinniness also helps him feel more feminine, even if it’s a subconscious thing. this whole Taking A Shot To Change Your Body thing reminds me a lot of hormone injections as well. like maybe this is also about estrogen/testosterone shots too. the needle is a vector for Change once again. miss rickly is SO good at these double meanings... gosh!!
the whole “dead man’s crescendo” thing is really good too because i think geoff speaks in very violent terminology when she discusses gender stuff (see Signals Over The Air and even For The Workforce, Drowning and SO many more too that i’m just forgetting rn)… he uses a lot of war and general violence motifs, like gerard (see Mama, Drowning Lessons, Destroya, etc). i think the Dead Man could also be referring to transitioning being a means of killing the man inside of you. which is really interesting actually, because gerard likes to talk about Killing The Woman Inside Of You. they both talk about gender stuff in such a different and yet hauntingly similar way. they both seem to paint gender as a war you fight against yourself, but they’re seemingly fighting two different things— geoff is fighting against masculinity, gerard against femininity. and i keep thinking about what you said about geoff being more self-aware than gerard is. while he physically expresses himself as less feminine than gerard, he’s probably more Present in the “female part of himself” than gerard (who i Think perhaps tries to compartmentalize their own femininity as more of performance art, despite saying that she identifies with the female gender a great deal on multiple occasions) is. meanwhile, geoff understands this femininity/womanhood as being very close and personal to herself. i say all this to say that i do believe, from his lyricism and the way he’s spoken about it, geoff’s sense of self is more consciously female. they’re each other’s foils your honor!
the shadows of trans women… their ghosts… it’s very mcr/thursday parallels again tbh. but also it’s so goddamn heart-wrenching. it does, of course, make me think of trans women who were killed or otherwise hate crimed but also of trans women who never felt comfortable enough to transition. which is. hahaha. Okay Then Geoff Rickly. strangles her a little bit……
I NEVER WVEN THOUGHT OF THE FUCKING PROSTITUTION THING BUT YOU’RE SO RIGHT AND I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD. OH MY GOD OF FUCKING COURSE. the commodification of the trans woman’s body (and the body of the trans person in general, for that matter) is also such a recurrent theme in thursday’s lyrics. again, i think of Signals Over The Air: “they stole the love from our lives to put the sex on the radio” also reads as being very much about this to me.
i think “erase all the maps” could also be about restricted access to hrt? in the sense that it’s directly getting rid of the ways to get to one’s destination, and transgenderism often being seen as a “journey.” if we do take this interpretation as being valid, this makes the car crash themes SO much more insane too!!!
okay that’s all i have to say on this at the moment. i could expand on it but i think this is all i can get out and still have it make some sense for right now… Thank You for sharing your thoughts this is so precious to me & important😢🩷 i love trans women. i love geoff rickly. i love thursday.
MOTHUALIAN CYBERSPACE!AU: "HEAVENS", GODS AND GHOSTS.
Rambling to organize some ideas!
I've spent a long time "studying" @spffnity cyberpunk mothualian to get at least a idea of what would be interesting to add in the worldbuilding!
•HEAVENS:
-In this universe, the "Heavens" are a ancient organization named HSC (Heavenly Solaris Capital)
-The entire HSC is divided into 7 parts. Like a atomical model, with the 3 external rings is where the weapony, battle mechas and battle ships are located, the 3 internal rings is where the research centers, archives, and laboratories are located, and the core is the artificial planet "SHENWU-1-S" ('1' because is the main SHENWU planet and 'S' because it is located in the Solaris Nebula)
-The size of "SHENWU-1-S" is the size of our sun, with each internal and external ring having enough space in bettwen for orbiting in a organic way.
•GODS:
-HSC' ancient knowledge over cosmic biology, technology and it's chemicals, leaded them to create some kind of "imortality" hundreds of millennia ago, a knowledge so old that earth's enrire lifespan would be considere just mere seconds compared to HSC's existence.(but when Jun Wu becomes the empereor, only the imortality studies and other few original archives stayed, with the rest beig erased from history)
-This "immortality" can be easily explained using the biology behind self-regenerative cells, with their potential enhanced through nanotechnology, to a level where it is necessary to destroy the "nucleus" that provides strength to such "god" cells in order to truly get rid of it.(this "nucleus" can be found on the very center of the brain or in the spine)
-This "imortality" also "freezes" the subject in time, stoping it from dying of old age.
•GHOSTS:
-In the case of "ghosts" or "undead", things are a little diferent, just like the HSC's studies, the knowledge about the life after death is ancient, but goes more to the path of bacteria and parasites.
-While HSC got the help of cosmic technology, the ghosts got help os cosmic radiation and bacterias. But how does that make sense?
-There was a "natural selection" that occured even more hundreds of millennia ago, where a bacteria, through cosmic radiation and other factors, evolved to the level of bringing back anything from death.
-This "ghost bacteria" uses the dead cells as fuel to the creation of new cells, but the subject needs to fuel the bacteria to continue the cycle, i can work by simple way like feeding on other bacterias, or more dificult ways, like absorbing cosmic radiation.
-But diferent from the "imortality", the subject has a lifespan that can vary depending on it's enviroment, habilities and luck.
-The more common "ghosts", like "fierce" and "severe" can have a significantly short lifespan, compared to a "wrath", these have more complications to find scourcers to keep fueling the bacteria due to being unable no absorb great amounts os cosmic radiation and limited to feeding of other kinds of bacteria or other things. While a "wrath" has a way longer lifespan due the hability to absorb cosmic radiation. But what about "supreme"?
-Nebula Tonglu, a massive "leviathan" of cosmic mass and much more other things, generated from the accumulation of "ghost bacteria," cosmic radiation, and various other components, resulted from a odd "supernova". Creating something similar to a shared consciousness with all existing "ghost bacterias"
-The Tonglu Nebula atracts a great many but only leaves one alive, a "supreme" has an 'improved' version of the bacteria, capable of generating its own radiation, feeding itself but still using dead cells to power up the new cells.
-Due the dead cells eating, the bacteria stops the subject from rotting until its cycle is broken.
