Just a bit of background...
I'm 22, have vaginismus and I am in the process of being nearly painless with dialators.
I always felt like I had something wrong with my downstairs area, especially ever since I had endless UTIs and kidney infections as a child (which I am pretty sure contributed heavily to my condition. I could never insert a tampon, and when I did attempt to it stung and burnt and only went up part way before hitting THE WALL. I used to absolutely freak out when trying: my mouth would go dry, my heart would race, and always seemed to end up in tears. I thought it would all work out when I'd lose my virginity. Pretty sure that's how most vaginismus stories have started out.
Fast forward to age 21: I had my first EVER boyfriend. I'd been late on the bf front, being in an all girl’s school and later university classes with mainly all girls too. I had never found that special someone that everyone else seemed to find so easily. It made me feel awful about myself but really circumstances were just unfortunate.
Anyway, my first boyfriend was sweet and absolutely charming to begin with, but later became passive aggressive about sex and distant. I wanted to take things slow, and he did not (atleast physically). Looking back he was so sexually frustrated because he wasn't getting what he Wanted from me. And to quote him ‘I. always get what I want’ - well HA you didn't get any from me luv.
Thankfully we broke up. But when we were together he took any opportunity he could to get physical in some way. And whenever he lay so much as a finger at my entrance it was so bloody painful and I didn't know why. It worried me at the time so I went to the doctors to get sorted believing it was my hymen causing the pain. Well it was not.
Two gyne appointments later and I had been thrown in the midst of vaginismus. Something I felt was absolutely hopeless and incurable. My confidence was at an all time low. But as I came to realise from routing deep around the Internet, there ARE success stories and quite a darn lot of them. So my story began after my second private appointment in mid September.
