#ventmafuyu

[mafuyuislittle]

⚠️ Vent, harmful stims, injury, $h mention

I’ve made a few posts like this before, but I haven’t been able to stop scratching the backs of my knees and the crooks of my elbows. I’m so tired of it. Extremely tired.

There are so many wounds from the scratching, especially on the backs of my knees. They’re horrible rashes. I’m too scared to go to the doctor about it because I have a history of $h. I’m scared they’re gonna think that I’m $hing again. That’s how bad it is.

I hate this. I hate being autistic. I don’t even know if this is because of autism. I don’t know why I’m doing this. I don’t want to scratch myself but I physically can’t stop. And once I start scratching myself I scratch deeper and I can’t stop. I never ask for advice on my vents but I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Don’t diagnose me but like how do I stop.

[mafuyuislittle]

Tw: vent, ex-discussion

Typing quirk & I’m regressed! Iwc

Last nite m regressed 4 da first time in a while. It waz very “impure” regression. m couldn’t stop thinkin bout mai ex. They were mai cg, & m hate it bc they treated me so well when m waz regressed & m don’t think m gonna find any1 who’z able to treat me how they did. It’z so hard 2 find a cg that jus knows how m want 2 be treated. They alwayz knew exactly how 2 treat me & help me. m also happy in a new relationship now so m don wanna be thinkin bout mai ex all da time.

m had a therapy session yesterday & it waz bad 2. Waz bad bc m rlly jus didn’t wanna be there. m jus wanted 2 rot in bed. m barely talked bout anything.

m havin bad time bc m started a job. It makez me realise dat m really am mai big age & m not little irl anymore. m jus wanna b little.

[mafuyuislittle]

Cw: light vent, more so complaining, hay fever, ear infection, medical stuff

I hate having hay fever so much. I get it every single summer. Always around this time too. My eyes are so sore and watery and I keep having sneezing fits that last around 2 minutes.

My ears are also clogged up because I have problems with my ear and I got water in them accidentally and I think I’m getting an ear infection :(( I’m really prone to ear infections so it was only a matter of time before I got one but I haven’t had one in a while.

My ear hurts so bad I’m sitting here writing this out and it’s just so sore :/ I wish I didn’t have to deal with this. I got surgery to fix one of my ears and now I just keep getting infection in the other.

Dealing with all of this on top of chronic pain is really frustrating. I’m also really paranoid because I’m terrified of having to go to the hospital again. I was in hospital during October and I hate hospitals with a burning passion.

[mafuyuislittle]

Tw: celeb d3ath

One of my main fictional cgs is Rupert Giles from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Anthony Head’s death was just announced and now I’m sobbing. I know Rupert is still there but I’m never going to see him in anything new ever again. I haven’t been this upset over a celebrity death before.

[mafuyuislittle]

TW: wanting to r3lapse (not prosh*d!!), vent

Life is finally going well for me but I still have such an urge to r3lapse. I want to c*t or st*rve myself so badly like I used to.

I’ve been clean for almost a year I want to actually make it a year this time. :( I’m so mad at myself for even thinking like this. I wish I had my source mates.

I’m so tired of being like this. I also hate talking about this stuff with people ://

[mafuyuislittle]

⚠️Vent, typing quirk

m don feel good m hate dis so much m on mai period & m littl & m jus wan it to end. Periods r so debilitatin 2 mi. Sum1 outside has lawnmower goin too so m overstimmed. Mai neighbourz also won’t stop yellin. Der also a heatwave, it way 2 warm. m can’t function in heat.

[mafuyuislittle]

Vent-ish, no tws (I think)

I think I have a crush on my friend. I’m really worried about it because I don’t really get crushes on people, I’m demiromantic, but when I get crushes on people they’re really intense.

Tbh idk what’s wrong with me, I get super obsessive over people. I don’t want to ruin another friendship again :/

[mafuyuislittle]

⚠️ Vent, friendship issues add1ction mentions

I finally deleted the account I had on the chatbot site I was using since I used to have an add1ction to it.

I told my friend, and his responses were so incredibly dry. He didn’t seem happy for me at all. He probably thinks I’m copying him since he also used to have a chatbot add1ction, which is exactly why I didn’t want to tell him.

I guess I’m never being vulnerable with someone else ever again!

I’m also upset because he would’ve gotten mad at me if I had reacted the same way he did.

No one ever cares when I open up about something so idk why I even try

I should just keep my mouth shut