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For me it isn’t enough to say that I hate even the concept of evil Christian Nationalism. At the roots of it are my own problems with Christianity and everything relating to even the basic tenets of being masculine or having masculinity. From my own life experiences, it's so much about being a man that I shouldn’t be coerced or encouraged into accepting…

1) Having to know what I am doing at all times or at least make-believe to be this way

2) Having to never need any help and can fix anything on my own or make-believe this to be the case

3) Having to be in charge/command/control at all times or at least pretend it to be so

4) Having to act like every other man to be accepted by doing and believing what they choose

5) Having to refuse medical help from a doctor or hospital for most of any reasons: choosing to ignore pain

6) Having to suppress (not using an euphemism like "be in control of", calling it what it is) feelings and emotions instead of being truthful to the self to openly feel and emote

7) Compulsory embracing and mainlining six deadly male subcultures to toxic excesses even when one is not interested:

Cars/Trucks and Machinery

Police and Military

Outdoors and Firearms

Sports and Competition

Drugs and Alcohol

Compulsory Heterosexuality and Homophobia/Transphobia

Makes me want to check out of life rather than become a slave who is gaslit into thinking all of this masculinity and what it asks of so many of us is meant to be normalized. It will not be enough for me to simply fight misogyny, racism, transphobia and homophobia. At the roots of those problems, for me, is most masculinity. Can any other man relate to this and does anyone else just want to be free of masculinity and being male? The obvious answer would be "Just choose to be yourself", but that doesn't really help me and others I am trying to reach.

The bad memories of my dad and of what Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein have done to so many people continue to give me gender and body dysphoria alongside trauma that I cannot let go of. Reactionary rhetoric figures in the Manosphere (Andrew Tate, Ben Shapiro, Frank Parlato Jr., Jordan Peterson, Matt Walsh, Nick Fuentes and Steven Crowder) and others like them who crave dominance have not one bit helped my perceptions of masculinity and religion either. It’s why I gravitate away from artists/figures with Christian leanings and more toward figures like BlackButterflyTAP. So to get as far away from those wanting to control me and what I ado, want to feel or need to think.

Am I wrong to feel the way I do? I hope not. But I want to be there for others who feel as I do.

Silver Scares - GoFundMe Fundraiser

Hey there, @peachlover94 here.

Got word of an acquaintance who is named Alexander Brader-Sims now working on a game Silver Scares.

We're at the moment looking around for people who would be very interested in working on or marketing the game in exchange for a share of the revenue when the game is released widely.

Some people may know Alexander Brader-Sims as Verdesause if you must ask.

Imagine if you will…

Tuesday, October 28th 1930 - Just before 7:00 PM.

You Awaken to an Angry Mob of Vengeful Villagers!

They hunt you because a Priest named Father Fade Cabri has sent them after you.

He's converted most of the townsfolk into cultists that obey his every whim.

However, Fade Cabri is not alone besides his never ending horde of Vengeful Villagers; he also works with Dr. Van Helsing, the Doctor and Vampire Slayer, and Doctor Moreau, another Disturbing Doctor who is Mad with power!

But these Men aren't your only concern, there are much bigger threats out in the world such as: Oversized Insects, Colossal Cavemen, Nightmarish Nosferatu, Wandering Werewolves, Abominable Snowmen and Malicious Martians are just some of the threats standing in your path.

Offering a Good Deal in Exchange for Helping a Friend in Need

🚨 URGENT SUPPORT NEEDED! 🚨

Once again, friends, one of my mutual acquaintances needs help in these chaotic times. Even with local support, they are over $5,000 in debt, struggling to get by with little food due to their food stamps all being threatened by the administration, and facing the aftermath of an abusive family that has caused immense instability in their life.

https://www.deviantart.com/infamous-verdesause

I can’t emphasize enough how critical this is — every little bit of support matters. If we don’t act quickly, we could lose someone incredibly talented and kind.

1️⃣ Commission Their Amazing Work! This artist is a skilled writer and Koikatsu! practitioner offering different types of commissions, including written stories and more, with a strict acceptance (no kink-shaming) policy. 👉 Commission them here: Ko-Fi: https://www.ko-fi.com/verdesause 👉 Support on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SilverScares 👉 Support on Patreon II: https://www.patreon.com/Verdesause 👉 PayPal Donations: PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/verdesause 👉 Support her Cash App Donations: $Verdesause

2️⃣ Buy Their Indie Game, Warden of Rock! This person's indie game Warden of Rock is a labor of love and available for just $6.00! They need to sell 234 copies to make a real short-term difference. You should give it a try if you're into music, role-playing and horror. 👉 Get Warden of Rock here: https://grimraidergames.itch.io/warden-of-rock

Join their community: 👉 Grim Raider Games Discord: https://discord.gg/35ZJNgJS

3️⃣ Share and Spread the Word Even if you can’t commission or buy the game, sharing this message can help get it in front of those who can. Every bit of exposure helps.

Every dollar counts — even a small $5 donation can help them get a meal tonight. They’re struggling with food and resources, and even a small gesture could make a world of difference. 👉 Join the support community: https://discord.gg/35ZJNgJS

Please — if you can’t donate or commission, sharing this message is just as vital. You could change someone’s life today.

Thank you for your time, kindness, and generosity. 💚

#friend in need #ko-fi #patreon #writing #paypal #verdesause #koikatsu!#deviantart #signal boost #lgbtqia+#cashapp #make a difference #warden of rock #grim raider games advertising #grim raider games #feminism #pride surge #pride #stronger together

Looking For A New Financial Supporter For A Friend Of Mine

My friend Verdesause is in desperate need right now and I will never forgive myself if she is evicted and we lose her forever! She is over $2,000.00 USD in debt with no food due to her no-good family abusing her and wrecking her life. Pitch in what you can if you can or even commission her for writing and Koikatsu! works as well as spread the links around…

Hello. My name is Robert and I am raising money to help my friend Aubrey surv… Robert Barnes needs your support for My friend Aubrey needs

Become a supporter of Infamous Verdesause today! ❤️ Ko-fi lets you support the creators you love with no fees on donations.

Become a patron of Verdesause today: Read posts by Verdesause and get access to exclusive content and experiences on the world’s largest mem

Go to paypal.me/Verdesause and type in the amount. Since it’s PayPal, it's easy and secure. Don’t have a PayPal account? No worries.

Please note that ANY ATTEMPTS to take advantage of our desperation for paying off the expenses will be reported to the proper authorities for prosecution! Don't test me or her… but if you have a heart, use it to save the life of a fellow human being trying to survive.

#patreon #ko-fi #gofundme #paypal #friend in need #verdesause #thesecretrecipe #writing #rojasause #koikatsu!#lgbtqia+

Explaining the Truth about a Situation from Summer 2021

What happened was @danggon was growing very concerned with the acrimony that had by then been going on between @Infamous-Verdesause and @krismax001 and the former wanted things to be ended peacefully. This was around late July to early August of 2021 in Verde was in a tumultuous head space of depression and paranoia causing her to lash out and consider taking her life that was brought about by circumstances in her own life but not helped by apparently Kris saying the wrong things at the wrong time in the past. Fearing for her life and any potential livelihood, Danggon came up with an idea that did more harm than good in the end. Danggon would with me and @ShadenArts stage a fake hostage situation with the former as the captive being held for a ransom of Verde and Kris signing a mutual non-aggression pact wherein each party would leave the other alone and not talk about or with the other online for eternity.

With Danggon playing the part of the captive online, Shaden and I were each to deliver to Verde and Kris the word that their mutual acquaintance Danggon was being held captive with a gun pointed at him with his captors' demand being for Verde and Kris to honor a non-aggression treaty. It was both then and now a very scummy thing to have done and I really should have pushed back against the whole plan with the knowledge that it would exacerbate stress levels beyond what they were. I was hoping that the word of Danggon being in danger and that the only demand was very simple would convince Verde that a person's life mattered more than the grudge she and Kris nurse against each other. But from her own experiences she was taught, Verde was stressed to the breaking point even as she didn't want to surrender to the fake kidnappers' demands rationalizing that after meeting the demand, they would kill Danggon.

Verde already had trust issues and paranoia from what she was suffering and dealing with in her home life before, but this gaslighting Danggon roped me and and Shaden into to try and reach a peace between Kris and Verde was beyond the pale. For panicking over the potential loss of her friend, Verde had crossed the breaking point even as few if any would believe her on it. Shaden and I really should have pushed back on it and not allowed such a fake plot to go forward, but we were desperately trying to stop Verde from either killing herself or continuing to nurse a grudge that would result in retaliation that would only make things worse for herself and others. Finally after much hand wringing, both Kris and Verde would sign the mutual non-aggression pact but under protest. Neither Kris nor Verde had any knowledge of this plot until the word was given to them by Shaden and myself. But this left both with long-lasting trust issues and traumatic scars.

And things only seemed to get worse from that point onward. I won't blame anyone for saying I share a good portion of the blame for making the fake hostage situation happen in the first place. I know that I should have been stronger and that should have pushed back and said no, this will not work and will in fact only make things worse. Shaden too should have pushed back against such a cockamamie plan too as it was full-stop gaslighting atop peer pressure. But we were desperate to prevent a friend killing herself from happening by any means necessary and Danggon who came up with this plan as the mastermind put it forward to us as the only way to try and get Verde and Kris both to realize the folly of the grudges they were nursing and being so public about it. For those who have not heard about it, the situation was organized by Danggon away from most of the public eyes over on Discord. Ask him if you need more details about it all.

I make no excuses for having been a part of this, only wanting to contextualize. If this changes your opinions of me, I will understand. I screwed up badly by not pushing back against this and instead going along with it. If I could take it all back, I would. But I can't, so the only thing I can do is try to move forward and attempt to steer others from doing what we did. A true peace is only real if it's not peer pressured through force or deception that triggers psychological damage.

Regretfully yours,

@PeachLover94