This piece has been a long time coming, but life happens and we sometimes get to things at the time we are supposed to get to them (keep reading, you’ll see what I mean). Back in August, I did a thing that I have been wanting to do for a while now, probably on the list for several years to be honest. If you have ever completed a long standing to-do, or goal, you already know how fulfilling and liberating it feels. Like most budding ideas, I didn’t fully know what it would look like or how it would come alive, but I knew my soul was craving it so I needed to scratch the itch.
My vision behind Lifted-Deep has been to, first of all create an uplifting community of women, something like a sisterhood. After questioning myself about why I actually felt this urge, I ended up diving deep, and searching in the place where most answers are found...down down down, beneath the surface, and the superficial layers beneath that, down to the darker, scarier core of consciousness. I did not grow up with a sister, although I always wanted one, I did get a little brother that would try to play with my dolls but to no avail (sorry Roman). I did in-fact have an older cousin, Evelyna, who lived in St Louis, MO but since I was in NYC this felt a world away. I went to visit my family there once and they came to us every so often but this always left me unfulfilled and missing them even more when it was time to say goodbye. Finally, when I was 9 years old, my aunt, uncle and cousins (as well as their dog and cat) made the move to NYC. This was the greatest gift I could have imagined, getting my cousins AND two pets was unreal! I can still recall running through their apartment, the smell of fresh paint, the chatter amongst the adults figuring out what to put where, and feeling exstatic, knowing my life was getting fuller now that they were here.
The year following their move was one of the greatest for me, I had sleepovers with my cousin, spent countless after-school days at their apartment, begging to walk their dog alone (to show my capabilities and earn her trust), listening in on her conversations with friends and boys and even having her tell me the earth-shatering truth about the purpose of pads and tampons!! I felt as if I finally had my big sister, my role model, my all-knowing source for all my pre-teen questions on life... things felt right, perfect, magical.
This story, unfortunatley, does not have a happy ending; about a year after they moved to New York, my cousin was diagnosed with kidney cancer, which at that point had already spread to her lungs. After surgery, chemo therapy and many trips to Boston Children’s hospital, my family declined any further experimental treatment and she died a few grueling, short months later. At the tender age of 11 I don’t think I was able to fully grasp or understand the level of pain and devastation I was feeling or how deeply it would impact me. I felt for that short period of time I had a big sister, somebody to learn from, borrow clothes, share secrets and do all of the “sisterly things” with that I always wanted; then like a living nightmare, it was all taken away. The time we had together was short, but so deeply gratifying and impactful, and I still hold that year so dear to my heart for all of the memories we did make together. Also, as I stated earlier, I have been working on this post for a little while now, and it is finally completed today... totaly unplanned, (and gave me chills as I just realized) the 23rd anniversary of her death; the timing...wow!
I did not mean to write a post on the death of my cousin, but sometimes, we realize that we are driven due to the hard times, the grief, the challenges we have experienced, and they help us reach for and create light; and that's just the raw truth. It builds us into who we are, inspires us and leads us to create something beautiful; sometimes not even knowing why, unless we really decide to inquire and look in. I have to admit that this experience and desire for girl bonding and sisterhood has stayed with me for decades to come, and is likely THE driving force behind this unyielding desire to form the Lifted-Deep community.
So finally, this past August I got my act together and gathered several amazing ladies to join me in creating a space for women to unit, grow, learn and move. A three hour window that they can take for themselves to appreciate all they are while setting intentions and gaining clarity on what’s next. It was fabulous! I am proud, happy and honored that it came together in complete harmony and perfection, (and I do NOT use that word lightly).
After the dust settled I found myself questioning what is next? Dave, my husband was egging me on to start thinking about what this dream of mine could continue to manifest itself into, given some fuel, persistence and passion. I took some time to listen to myself and tap into my intuition (the thing that always has all the answers) and the decision was made to continue to see how we can expand this project, and naturally it felt right to create Lifted-Deep II! This time we will be having some new remarkable speakers, and more of the same format, vibe and mission! It will once again be a virtual space where we will come to move our bodies, lift our souls and grow our knowledge, understanding and wisdom of ourselves. All this in order to continue to evolve, and show up stronger and bigger in all areas of our lives.
This has already been such an incredible opportunity to come together as a community and support each other, and I know it’s only the beginning. Just like last time, if you can’t make it live not to worry! The retreat will be recorded and sent out to via email to all who sign up. Visit www.lifted-deep.com to register and save your spot. It will be taking place on Sunday December 6, 2020 at 12pm ET. This felt like a perfect time to schedule it, because it’s just in time to round out the year, let go of anything that is no longer serving you and step into the next phase, the new year and with some updated and refocused intentions, goals and perspectives. Can’t wait to see you there!
