#vitamint

[floeticdreamz]

[fineazzftm]

[thegravelbro]

Is trans cowboy a thing?

[supertayy]

Happy 4 year manniversary to me 🥳

[supercodi]

Is It Time To Move On?

[thegabecole]

today I’ve been on T for 4 years! the changes this year have been slower, more subtle, but in some ways the most affirming yet. this year I stopped having to actively pitch my voice lower on the phone—now it happens naturally and as a result I no longer get misgendered on the phone. I’ve seen some significant facial hair growth this year, and while it’s nowhere near enough to grow out, it’s been incredibly affirming all the same. but perhaps the most subtle and meaningful change of them all is I no longer have to fight to see a guy in the mirror. I look, and he’s there, and it’s me. and that is the biggest relief of them all. #trans #transgender #transmasc #transguy #vitaminT #hrt #transjoy https://www.instagram.com/p/Clh6uLSLxnW/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[tranz-ing]

6 Years on T

Sixth Year on T - 2021 - 2022

I have noticed that I haven’t taken many pictures of myself these last 12 months. I have been struggling with my body image, and the debilitating effects of my back injury, which have made it so that I am living with near-constant chronic pain. I found out this year that I have a fractured vertebrae in my lumbar, which has been there for a long time and is the reason for so much of my pain. Every time I want to exercise or move my body for my mental wellness, my physical health is either compromised by that, or else makes it harder to do. I’ve had to practise letting myself just be, more strictly than ever before, and not getting consumed with how I look and what I am not doing. 

But fuck, these last two years of staying home and being sedentary have been really hard on me, mentally and physically. There were 6 months in 2021 that I was alone in my apartment and saw no one in person, except for one person occasionally. That was incredibly hard, just to be with myself like that, but I also did so much healing and so much internal work during that time. I had never been so alone in my life and I did a lot of learning about myself. 

In this sixth year, what I have really noticed is hair growth. My beard is coming in very full now, and it grows in faster than before. And my moustache, which has always been a little weak, is finally starting to catch up. I still haven’t been able to use an actual razor on my face because whenever I do (and no matter the lengths I go to to protect it) my face still breaks out in a horrible rash, mostly around my mouth. This has been a struggle for me because I don’t always want to have a beard, and the beard trimmer can’t give me a clean shave - however it’s a funny thing. Now, when I shave I feel a little bit dysphoric looking at my “baby face”. I know that’s silly, and I don’t look baby-faced to anyone else because all the stubble is still there, but I guess I’ve just grown used to the certain angles that the beard provides. I feel like they make me look older, or more my age, and when the beard isn’t there I feel a bit naked. When I look in the mirror, I can still see the pre-T me under those layers. I feel like I have a better understanding of why so many people on T have a fondness for their facial hair. I didn’t share that going into this process and was never particularly interested in facial hair, but my relationship to it has changed so much. I get it now.

I am also growing out the hair on my head, yet again, but this time I’m determined to stick to it. I want my beautiful long, thick curls back and I want to be able to honour my gender expression in this way. When I was a kid, up until around 15, my hair was so thick and frizzy and knotted because my parents didn’t know how to care for it and wouldn’t let me cut it. My hair was such a place of despair and dysphoria for me and I hated it so much. As an adult, I now know how to care for my hair, and I’m far enough along in tranzing that I know having long hair won’t make people misgender me. I am ready to let my hair be as beautiful as she wants to be. I’m excited for these next 12 months of growth and change. I am grateful for the good things year 6 brought me, and here’s hoping that year 7 is better in all the ways. 

[thatguydakota]

May 6, 2022

This morning was Shot day for me . Today makes 3 months and one week on Testosterone. Love my SpongeBob band aids for Shot day . 💙💛😁