Voltron but as quotes from a get together with friends
Coran: “Call me Chungle, Mr. Fungus was my father.”
Hunk: “I’m a snack wizard.”
Pidge: Nothing is or ever will be funnier than “chungle fungus is typing.”
Lance: “We only worship Shiro’s big dick.”
Allura: “That’s a new one.”
Shiro: “Not even a juice box can fill the void in my heart.”
Pidge: “It’s sad boy hours” *throws juice box*
Keith: “For most of my 18+ years on this planet--”
Lance: “Most of those years have been 18+ ;)”
Keith: “Can I get a glass of water?”
Lance: “Sure, but you already have one right in front of you.” *strikes a pose*
Keith: “Damn trickster I don’t have time for you trickster.”
Pidge: “Coffee is void soup.”
Lotor, about Haggar: “Bitch ass sorcerer.”
Keith: “And I was like ‘my dick is hard’ and walked out of Hot Topic.”
Matt: “If they’re not making it so you’re biting down on a blanket they’re doing it wrong.”
Shiro and Adam: *having sex in a stairwell*
Pidge and Matt: *walk in*
Matt: “diffERENT STAIRWELL”
Krolia: “I don’t like beer so hold my whole ass bottle of vodka.”
Bob: “And you get a sugar glider, and you get a sugar glider...”
Hunk: “Destined for taquitos.”
Romelle: “If you date someone named Chad it’s all over.”
Pidge: “How will they [the rest of the team] die? From being dumb bitches.”
Veronica: Promise me you won’t go into Lush.
Lance: What? You’re afraid I’ll hit on all the girls and steal all the bath bombs?
Veronica and Shiro, simultaneously: Yes.
Lance: *Lands Red on a sketchy planet*
Romelle: “THIS ISN’T A PARKING SPOT”
Ezor: “Lotor touched the ouija board that day in the Spencer’s and disappeared.”
Pidge: *Looks at Shay and Hunk* “Love me some heterosexual legends.”
Knife pitchman from Space Mall: “Are you ready for some squishy fun time?”
Hunk: “Please call me U, Mr. Wu was my father.”
Keith: *In a cooking store, looking at knives”
Hunk: Nopenopenope *pulls Keith away* let’s look at the tiny spatulas instead.”
Pidge: “I’m sad and gay and I just want to see how my blog’s doing.”
Lance to Pidge: “You have a good egg on your...neck.”
James: “Tickle, fuck, jerk off is the new fuck marry kill.”
Lance: “Are you wearing goggles?”
Hunk: “Yes, they’re onion goggles.”
Coran, after drinking nunvil: “This here boy bad big hold *slaps counter* so big many raspberry.”
Haggar, tending to Zarkon: “Let’s go empty your bladder.”
Keith: “The Grinch is a metaphor for Karl Marx, the Grinch is Karl Marx they tried to silence him, Russia--or Whoville--tried to silence him!”
Pidge: “George Orwell can suck my testicles he's got nothing on the Grinch.”
Hunk: “I politically identify as the Grinch.”
Krolia: “The Who's are the bloodsucking bourgeoise the Grinch is just a hard-working member of the proletariat.”
Keith: “It’s crystal clear...Leon Trotsky who? I only know the Grinch.”
Pidge: “To the simple-minded, ‘tis but a book of poetry for children but the scholar knows.”
Lance: We are Grinch stans first, humans second.”
Shiro: “Snaps to--fucking fuck.”
Nyma: “Eating ass is the only ethical consumption under capitalism, besides eating the flesh of the rich.”
Hunk: “Fuck Ariana Grande. God isn't a woman, God is an elephant.”
Lance to Pidge: “Hit us with your knowledge, Mr. Smart.”
Allura: “I broke my pad thai.”
Romelle: “You either fall or get falled on in this world.”
Hunk: “This is the low-cal calzone zone.”
