#we're security professionals

[excuseme-howdareyou]

Random person: How did you even become a guard? You're not exactly... *gestures to all of me*

Me, in all my 5'4" glory: Normal person sized?

Guard 2: You're fucking tiny, is what you are.

Me: A tiny ball of rage. 😁

Guard 3 I'm in the process of training: Rage? You're the nicest guard here!

Guard 2: You obviously haven't heard the Mom Voice yet.

[excuseme-howdareyou]

Life as a security guard

Visitor: Why do you carry a taser?

Me: Because they won't let me have a sword

[excuseme-howdareyou]

My coworker and I discussing the Batman timeline and where exactly in each batkid's timeline were they when Barbara Gordon stopped being Batgirl

[excuseme-howdareyou]

Nurses of Tumblr: please tell me if you think this is acceptable

I used to have a lot of respect for nurses.

As a security officer in an ER, I still kinda do because now I see firsthand all the shit they have to put up with.

BUT...

when you have security (of which there are only two who have to cover the entire hospital) and make them sit 1-on-1 with a suicidal patient who is NOT being combative, is 290% cooperative, AND sleeping

FOR 10. FUCKING. HOURS.

And we notice there are only 4 PATIENTS IN THE ENTIRE UNIT, only to be told "I don't have any nurses to spare that can go sit 1-on-1"

AND

A fight breaks out down the hall, with the singular security officer avail calling for backup, and you still don't send a replacement for the security officer stuck with the sleeping patient...

You can bet your ass that my opinion and respect for those nurses is at about 0 now. And you can also bet that I ran out of that room and technically abandoned a suicidal patient, but tbh that patient and visitor were cheering me on to fucking go.