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Nov 23, 2022

drunk words and sober thoughts | j.k

you can only hold out for yourself until booze and feelings get involved.

warnings: reader is hammered, everyone else is pretty drunk and high, reader smokes, fluff <3

word count: 2.9k

— —

You didn’t know what it was, but something had changed between you and Johnny. Technically you were still broken up, but something just felt…different. It had been pretty tense between the two of you, and you’d actually had the strong tendency to argue over the past three and a half weeks that you’d been broken up, but tonight you were getting along well. Really well.

Everyone had ended up in Johnny’s backyard for a bonfire party, and after one two many beers and a couple of spliffs passed around between everybody (you had no idea how someone had convinced Johnny to participate, but still) every single person in attendance had shifted into the ‘acting like complete idiots’ portion of the night.

“It’s been like, a million fucking years. How the hell am I supposed to remember what shoes you were wearing when I met you?” Bam was complaining as everyone tested just how well they knew each other.

“I’ve worn the same brand my entire life, dipshit. Take a wild guess.” You said dryly in response. The entire time you were talking you were swaying pretty heavily on your feet, and when you accidentally took a big side-step and almost tripped, you felt a hand grab you by the hood that was currently pulled over your head and readjust you so that you were back steadily on flat feet.

Johnny was there, and you could tell when your eyes met that he was watching you like a hawk. But you were plastered, so you brushed him off.

“I’m good.” The words out of your mouth didn’t sound very good, and you winced at the slur of your own voice. He raised his eyebrows, because he was clearly not convinced, but kept his mouth shut in favor of continuing to let you and Bam argue.

“Fine. I don’t know what fucking shoes you were wearing. Jesus.” He said as he rolled his eyes, throwing a hand in the air before taking a long drink of his beer. Ryan shook his head at his friend’s words.

“Damn. You don’t have even a little sentiment?” He asked, pretending to sound hurt as he clapped you on the shoulder. Which was a mistake, because then you were stumbling all over again, and were only able to grab Johnny’s hand at the last second to save yourself from tumbling right down onto your ass.

“Alright. Cut off.” Johnny was half-serious and half-snickering in your direction, but the yank of your beer bottle out of your hand was very serious as he put a quick end to your alcohol consumption for the night. You threw a hand in the air, your other hand still locked in an iron-tight grip with his, and scoffed in indignation as Bam talked right over that interaction.

‘Yes, I have sentiment. I know when like, your birthdays are and shit.” He was defending himself, making a face like that was some grand feat. Ryan rolled his eyes, then caught a glance at your condition.

“Holy shit, Y/n/n. You’re fucking trashed.” He said immediately, reaching out to grab your chin so that he could look into your eyes. “Or stoned. One of those.”

“Yeah. Don’t fuckin’ give her anymore.” Johnny warned. Ryan tilting your head so fast had made the whole world spin violently between your eyes, and you started rolling your head slightly to combat it, which just resulted in Johnny reaching a hand out and putting it over the top of your head to manually stop you.

“Every goddamn time.” Ryan chuckled as he listened to your groan of complaint at Johnny’s actions. There were so many things you could be doing, and yet you were glued to your ex-boyfriend’s side because he’d decided that you were too ‘drunk’.

“Dude, I told you, she’s a lightweight when she drinks.” Bam teased, dodging the leg you shot out to kick him. “Knoxville, you need to take her inside or something, dude.”

“Yeah. I’m about to.” Johnny sounded almost tired, and you let out a long sigh in both disappointment that your night was being turned into a babysitting session and acceptance that you were being force to leave your friends.

“Can you at least bum me a cigarette?” You asked Ryan, who smoked the same brand as you. You made sure to ask as nicely as possible, and then grinned in success when Ryan groaned and pulled out his pack to grab one for you.

“You’re going to have to get a light from someone else. Steve-O stole mine.” He said as he shoved a cigarette between your lips, replacing the pack in his back pocket with his free hand. You blew him a kiss, then flipped Bam off as Johnny forcibly pulled you away from the fire, towards what was hopefully at least a partially empty house. If you were being yanked away from partying this early in the night, you didn’t everyone else’s fun thrusted in your face when all you could do was sit and watch.

“Stop walking so fast.” You complained, trying to keep up with Johnny’s wide strides as he led you up the back porch and towards the sliding glass door. He chuckled and slowed down, arm now wrapped around you as he helped you up the stairs.

“What have you been drinking?” He asked incredulously as he watched how hard it was for you to get your foot up each step. You wrapped both arms around his waist as you almost tripped again, finally tackling the last step and getting up onto the deck with a small cheer.

“Lotta beer. But I’m not even that drunk.” You waved him off, giving up on trying to get all the way inside and instead settling for just sitting down right where you were. You could see through the glass door that there was a separate party going on inside, and you didn’t want to join something where you couldn’t even drink along with everyone else.

“I don’t think I have ever seen you this drunk.” Johnny corrected, kneeling down in front of you and then holding up a lighter. “Look at me.”

You did as he asked and held as still as possible until he had lit your cigarette, puffing the first breath of smoke out through the corners of your mouth as you grinned in thanks.

“Sit behind me so that I don’t have to sit up.” Suddenly the genius idea came to you, and you jabbed a thumb behind you to signal what you wanted. He looked a little surprised, and it suddenly dawned on you what you were asking your ex to do, but you were already committed, so you just stared at him. He sighed.

“You’re going to hate when I tell you that you asked for this tomorrow.” He pointed out, getting up and moving behind you but not yet sitting down. You waved his words off.

“I don’t give a shit. It’s cold.” You scoffed, motioning for him to hurry up. Your head was feeling heavier and heavier by the second, and you felt as if you were going to fall forward without him there to hold onto you.

Finally, you felt him slide down behind you, his legs coming to rest on either side of yours until your back was pressed flush up against his chest. You sighed in content, leaning your head back against his shoulder and then grabbing his hands that were resting on the porch at his sides.

“Y/n.” He warned, his whole body tensing up as you brought both of his hands into your lap to hold onto. You turned to the side to look at him, frowning like you didn’t know why he was reacting the way he was.

“What? I’m good. You’re good.” You reassured, squeezing his hands in yours and leaning your full weight back up against him. Part of you was practically screaming for his touch (which was unfortunate, considering he was your ex), and sitting basically in his lap was barely cutting it.

“Yeah? You’re okay?” He must’ve noticed how close his face was to yours at the same time you did, as his eyes momentarily flitted to your lips before he caught himself and looked up to you again. You nodded, taking his hands and crossing them so that he was essentially hugging you against him. Yeah, that felt good.

“Mhm. I like it when you take care of me.” You said happily, turning slightly in his arms so that you were sideways and he was basically cradling you like a baby. “Makes me wanna kiss you.”

“Oh, does it?” There was a soft smile on his face, and his hands were dangerously close to your ass where he was holding you against him, which only confirmed your realization that you very much wanted to kiss him. “You’re drunker’n shit.”

“So? I love you.” You crooned, cupping his cheek as you grinned up at him like an idiot. He just sighed, shaking his head slightly as he rocked you back and forth gently. A mistake on his part, because if he kept doing that it was going to put you right to fucking sleep.

“No you don’t.” He said easily, a knowing look on his face as he held your adoring gaze. You pouted, burying your face in his shoulder for a second as you tried to pull yourself together before you cleared your throat and took a deep breath.

“Just one kiss? Please?” You hadn’t meant for it to come out as begging, but that’s exactly what it sounded like. You could tell he was thinking the same thing, because he laughed again.

“Fine. One kiss.” He caved, sighing softly. You let out a triumphed noise before he was leaning down and connecting your lips, a feeling you had been craving so badly over the last couple of weeks that it made you shiver slightly as you finally got it.

‘One kiss’ turned into five, and then you were fully making out, his hand sliding up your side and then under the fabric of your sweatshirt to feel your bare skin. His fingertips were cold, and you gasped slightly. He didn’t give you time to pause, his tongue still tracing against yours in your mouth as your hand moved to cover his.

“Say cheese, assholes!” Surprise ran through you milliseconds before you were momentarily blinded by flash, and your head snapped over to see Jeff Tremaine and Chris Pontius standing there, Jeff with a camera in hand and Pontius grinning like a kid in a candy store. Fucking great.

“Go away!” You groaned, holding a hand out towards the camera lens to block Jeff’s shot of Johnny’s hand very clearly up your shirt. Chris chuckled.

“Aw, come on. You guys are cute. One more picture.” He persuaded, pushing your hand down gently. Once again, you were very drunk, so you agreed easily, smiling like an idiot with your head tucked into Johnny’s neck as you smiled for Jeff’s camera. You would’ve bet money that Johnny just glared into the shot.

“This is so that I can show you this in the morning, and then you can be really proud of yourself.” Jeff explained, holding up the camera as he supplied you with his reasons. You nodded like that made sense, rolling your eyes.

“Great. Thank you kindly.” You blew your sentence out in the form of a huff, closing your eyes when your vision started to swim once again and letting Johnny do the honors of shooing Jeff and Pontius away. Once they were gone, you relaxed in his arms and took a drag off of your cigarette. “People are so fucking nosy.”

“Well, to give ‘em some credit, last week we were at each other’s throats, sweetheart.” Johnny said lowly, pulling his hand out of your shirt and holding onto you a little tighter when you started to droop backwards.

“I was having a bad couple of weeks.” You defended yourself, shrugging as you stuck your cigarette between your lips so that your hands were free to grab his shoulders and pull yourself up so that you were sitting with your legs crossed on top of his. “Come on. How can you say no to me?”

“Oh, you know I can’t.” He played your game, smiling softly as he spoke. “What was all of that shit about you being done with me and never wanting to talk to me again?”

“I was having a bad couple of weeks.” You repeated, runnning a hand through his hair slowly and watching in satisfaction as his eyes closed partially at the feeling. “And of course I’m not done with you. I hate when my arms are empty. And when I’m empty.”

“Okay. You need to go to sleep.” Johnny chuckled, his eyes opening again just as you gave him another kiss. “You can tell me that again in the morning when you’re sober and hating your life.”

“Can I sleep in your bed?” You whined, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your cheek on his shoulder. If he was that hellbent on getting you to go to bed, he was going to have to carry you towards it. “Bam and Ryan are going to end up in the guest room, and they’re gonna fuck with me.”

“I mean, if you really want to. You know I can’t go up to bed until everyone is out of the house.” He reminded you, rubbing your back and shifting like he was going to get up. At your disappointed sigh, he paused. “How about I set you up on the couch with a blanket and I sit with you there? I’ll take you up to bed when everything mellows out.”

“Okay.” You agreed, wrapping your legs around his waist and holding onto him tightly as he finally stood up. It always amazed you how he was able to pick you up like you weighed virtually nothing and cart you around like a little kid.

The party was about as ridiculously loud inside as you had been expecting, but you were relieved to see that the noise was mostly coming from just Steve-O and Ehren, who were clearly in the middle of a slapping fight. As soon as Johnny came into the house with you in tow, however, you knew that everyone’s eyes were immediately glued on the both of you.

“She’s about six beers too deep.” Johnny supplied an explanation as he forced Ehren off the couch so that he could set you down, cradling your head in his hand so that you weren’t being jostled around as much.

“Four beers too deep, asshole. I can still hear.” You grumbled as Johnny grabbed the blanket that was messily draped over the back of the couch, unfolding it before laying it out over you. “And I’m fine. I was forcibly removed from outside.”

“What, so you could come shove your tongue down Knoxville’s throat in here, too?” Wee-man asked pointedly, motioning towards the sliding glass door. “We could all see you, bro.”

“Whatever. It’s not like that’s the first time we’ve ever kissed.” You then pulled the blanket over your head, trying to get the room to stop spinning as you rested your head against the arm of the couch. “Jesus. You people are so nosy.”

“Honey. You’re gonna suffocate yourself under there.” You felt Johnny sit next to you, and then the blanket was being pulled off of your head to send the overhead light beaming right back into your eyes. Johnny saw you squint, then repositioned so that he was blocking the light of the lamp from your eyes before he relaxed in his spot.

“Such a fucking pogue.” Steve-O snickered, which earned him a death stare and an empty beer can to the head when you located one on the floor in front of you. He moved to retaliate, only to have Johnny hold him back with an outstretched foot.

“Just ignore her and go back to doing…whatever the hell you were doing.” Part of you felt bad for making Johnny take care of you instead of having fun with his friends, but you were trying to remind yourself of all the times you’d had to take care of Johnny whilst he’d been three times as intoxicated in the past to make yourself feel better.

Being tucked into Johnny’s side and having a blanket wrapped around you weren’t exactly prime conditions for staying awake, so soon you were falling asleep, arms wrapped tightly around Johnny as you slept on his shoulder with your mouth partially open.

Eventually he did take you up to bed, but you were so groggy with sleep and alcohol that you barely noticed. You did vaguely remember pulling yourself closer to him so that you were wrapped up in his arms, but that was for drunk you to enjoy and sober you to worry about tomorrow.

For now, you were just trying to get warm with your hands in Johnny’s shirt and your legs entwined together as he held you throughout the night, confirming what you had already been concerned was going to happen. Drunk words/actions were sober thoughts, and no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself you didn’t need him, you knew you did.

You needed him, and you wanted him.

So maybe waking up in the morning wrapped up in your ex’s arms wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Maybe.

#johnny knoxville #johnny knoxville x reader #jackass #jackass mtv #jackass imagine #jackass movie #bam margera #chris pontius #steve o #ryan dunn #wee-man #danger ehren #jeff tremaine

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