#weighted down

[my-souls-rumination]

When everyone says you... "did the right thing"

Yet, you feel heavy in your heart, sick to your stomach and your mind won't stop......

Did you do the right thing, or just what they wanted?

[werldd]

“ There are so many things I will never be able to tell you, questions that will never be answered and I continue to let them eat away at me. I feel as if they are weighing me down like cement blocks chained to my ankles dragging me down to the bottom of the ocean. Wishing you could understand the ways you broke me. Closure? There was no closure for me.”

//insomniac//

[momentsbeforemass]

What if I don't want to be rescued?

Sunday’s reading from Ezekiel shows God searching out the lost, binding up the injured, and healing the sick. 

That’s great - if you’re lost, injured, or sick.  But what if I'm not?  What if I don’t want to be rescued? 

In New Zealand, a sheep (named Shrek) wandered off and wasn’t found for 6 years.  With no shearing, his wool just kept growing.  When they finally found Shrek, he had 60 pounds of matted wool, could barely see, and had trouble moving.

Shrek became a local celebrity and was sheared on television (it’s New Zealand, go figure).  When they rolled Shrek on his back to start trimming, they didn’t have to hold him still.  The weight of 6 years held him down.

Shrek and Ezekiel know (even if I haven’t figured it out yet) that even if nothing bad happens, eventually the weight of life itself will hold me down. 

Even if I don't want to be rescued. 

More on this tomorrow.

Sunday’s Readings

[xansaethetic]

binge eating is a sickness

cant control the urges

eat until I'm stuffed yet mind is already thinking of what else I can vacuum up

my stomach feels terrible & bloated

I'm so over it

I feel vile

my body deserves better

[danskjavlarna]

Source details and larger version.

Tables are turned in this collection of vintage tables turned.

[danskjavlarna]

From Ulk, 1926.

Not a drag: vintage ball and chain imagery (and a few chains without balls).

[takingthehighwayhome]

Today feels like I'm carrying the weight of the world

[svcredstars]

I know I'm supposed to aspire to greatness, rattle the stars in their resting places and make the constellations my own. But how can I do that when my bones are weighted with the lead at the center of supernovas, and I am done exploding? Every step forward is dragging with it a lifetime of insecurities and sometimes the weight of it is too heavy to bear over the obstacles in my way.

even stardust has its weight | jocelyn