#weird date

[meiterium1976]

Corpse Flower (Amorphophallus titanum) at UCONN, about 12:30 am Saturday April 25. waited in line for 2.5 hours to see it. the smell...was horrific and slightly beyond any accurate description I am capable of. it had many layers. The Love Interest leaned in closer and reported that it was like "it shat down my neck"

[strawberryshortpace]

Can y’all send me your weirdest date/sex stories

[customervoice]

My weirdest date story

So this happened when I was 16 and just started dating my boyfriend at the time (we only had weird dates but like this is the weirdest and it wasn’t even really mine)

So my bf’s friend has a date with a girl however he decided that he would bring my boyfriend along for whatever reason so he then texted me to please join them so it wouldnt be awkward

I meet them in front of a grocery store and this Guy had bought one of Those cases with 24 bottels of beer and was already on his second bottle to drink away his nerves

So then his date shows up and i realize fuck I know this chick !!She had actually been friends with my best friend at the time. She had treated my friend horribly to the point of just insulting pictures she shared on Snapchat which led to me telling her to just leave her the fuck alone and her starting to insult me aswell.

Anyways this girl doesn’t show up alone she brought a friend with her (which is like totally fine) but she continues to not talk to her date ?? She basically spends the entire night just drinking the beer and talking to her friend while me, my bf and the other guy talk to each other.

So then the girl that tagged along had to go home and all of the sudden the first girl is all over this guy to the point of dry humping him in the park where we were hanging out while me and my bf just kinda step away and talk to each other.

Night ended by her telling me I was a prude because we were not going at it right there and then

Anyways there was no second date

[smolmemeonwheels]

He kissed my cheek.

[mikenewtonforks]

Grocery store girl was kind of weird

[dateagirlwhoisweird]

cute Lesbian date idea: listen to sad music while you drive around and pretend you're both in the same music video

[wewerelovers]

J With A Hot Tub

This story, which happened, like, two weeks ago, is long overdue.

J With A Hot Tub (who is now actually in my phone as Worst Host Ever (J) With A Hot Tub) was the first guy I met via online after the breakup. We matched on Happn, which I’ve since deleted because the app kinda sucks, and met a week after he first messaged me. He was very forward in his texts – he claimed to have “some skills and parts that I’d find very fun and exciting" – and wanted to send me a dick pic. I never said no to the dick pic and just sent him the upside down emoji, which he didn’t ever get.

Anyway, he had promised that we could soak in his hot tub (building hot tub) or his bathtub which he had claimed was “huge” (it wasn’t). Ugh, so our hangout turned out to be the worst “date”/Netflix and chill situation ever and seriously the biggest time waster.

I arrived at J’s fancy apartment at 10:30pm, which by then his hot tub had already closed. Then, his tub didn’t have a plug or stopper thing and it was kinda too small for the both of us. The worst part was that he was still working when I got there at 10:30 and he worked till 12:30 (he’s an investment banker) while I just watched TV and sipped on my scotch. I was so fucking bored. But I stayed because he promised a hot bath haha… I found out about his plugless bathtub after he finished work…

After he finished work two fucking hours later, we watched some Netflix and then made out… which I was totally not feeling because he was a bad kisser and then I was thinking about R the Ex the whole time. I left shortly after that. Huge time waster, ugh!

Some of my friends’ comments about J: “He looks like your next mistake.” “this new jew guy sounds really fucking weird lol”

Well, he didn’t turn out to be my ‘next mistake’ because I didn’t want to see him again, and he never asked me to come hang out again. He did text me the day after we hung out, but it was small talk and we had nothing else to talk about after a super awkward night.

[wewerelovers]

T Is Too Gentle

Earlier this week, I met another Frenchie. Thankfully, this Frenchie is not a psychopath, but he is too gentle (read on to learn why he is too gentle), hence his name in my contact book as T Is Too Gentle. We met at one of my favorite wine bars in downtown and had much to talk about. He also lived in San Francisco and we had a mutual friend in common – one of his previous roommates was a colleague of mine back in SF. Small world! He seemed interesting: well-traveled, cute accent (but easy to understand, thank God!), has lived in several different countries including China which is cool… But one thing I noticed was that he never asked any questions about me. He was probably more interested in fucking, which is fine since I’m not looking to be tied to anyone emotionally anyway either… but c’mon, make a convo or at least an effort to get to know me a bit better!

After the wine bar, where we had 3 drinks, we went to a speakeasy nearby. By that time I was already pretty drunk, but I went ahead to order my last drink of the night (or so I thought…). We quickly finished our drink and walked towards his apartment. Apparently, he had an amazing view from his rooftop. It was amazing, but I wasn’t too impressed. Hah. There are lots of amazing rooftops in the city…

So back in his super teeny tiny apartment… omg it was SO small. It measures about 110 sq ft!!! It was also cluttered, which was a huge turn off. His excuse: I just got a new desk and I am returning it so that’s why there are many boxes lying around. Riiiiiight. After a glass of bourbon, we start making out, and he takes off my tights. His fingering technique… too gentle. I had to direct him and give him some tips. He also seemed to not know where the clit is located :/ He went down on me, which I also was not impressed with. I wasn’t very turned on. I was also super bloated from eating 3 huge pizza slices that he ordered, which I later puked out yuck. He was about to stick it in, but he didn’t have non-latex condoms and by that point I was way too sleepy to fuck. He also lied about the time. I asked him the time, and he had said midnight. A few minutes later, I looked at my phone, and it was 2am. Ugh! 

I’m glad we didn’t fuck. It probably would’ve been a huge waste because he would probably be too gentle. Lol.