#weird quotes

[yuckicide]

The becoming of Noah Shaw - - Michelle Hodkin

[cathumanthing2]

List of things my orchestra, chorus, and band teachers have said:

"I need your bows to be infused with the power of christmas and stretch out" (orchestra 1)

"i guess I'll be practicing all week instead of doing homework" "atta girl, you got your priorities straight!" (band)

"it needs to sound like 'ho ho ho' not 'ho ho those damn kids keep takin my cookies'" (orchestra 1)

"you're making it sound like the wrong sleigh! its 'sleigh ride', not" *plays the chord from psycho* (orchestra 1)

"dont drink and run, kids" (orchestra 1)

*mewing* (chorus)

"you guys are so zesty" (chorus)

"it sounds like if you took a box of ornaments and just dumped it all over the tree then threw the tinsel on and then it catches fire and your house burns down" (orchestra 1)

"thats a good mama" (chorus)

*weird voice* "i have flower" (orchestra 1)

"YES, ill let you take my job today" (orchestra 2)

"if you're gonna fart... pose" *strikes some weird pose* (band 2)

"you're supposed to do *makes petting motion* kittyyy kittyyy, pet it gently, not *fucking WHACKS the invisible kitten* animal abuse" (orchestra 1)

"yes, im evil and made this warmup to make you smack yourselves in the face" (chorus)

"i want you to burp so loud and long that even your dad is impressed" (band 2)

"i guess we're teaching sign language now" (orchestra 1)

*steals people's sheet music* "im doing you a favor" (band)

*day before long weekend* "you did so good that im giving you Monday off of school" *collective groaning noises at an overused joke* (band)

*chases oboist around the band room* (band)

"who do you think it is?" *calls on kid with hand raised* kid: "is it-" "its not [name2]" (chorus)

"i need you to pretend you're throwing up" (chorus)

"i cant believe im saying this but... percussion, can you perhaps be louder?" (band)

"I have a funny story...my dad died and when my mom got married again she didn't invite me to her wedding." (orchestra 2) (NOTE: i never had this teacher, i joined orchestra the year after she retired)

"do you know how hard it is to make frosty the snowman sound like frosty the snowman instead of frosty the big wet sad puddle?" (orchestra 1)

"We will accept bribery" (chorus)

"guys, will you PLEASE stop hitting kittens" (orchestra 1)

*at a baritone who has his arm resting on the back [name]s chair* "[name2], i dont think [name] wants to go on a date with you" random kid: "yeah, [name2] is like 'hey, wanna go to the movies and put our hands in the popcorn bucket at the same time'"

SO. thats what i have so far. this is FAR from a complete list. the band 2 is for an extra band where the teacher isnt the same one or one of the ones for band, and orchestra 1 and orchestra 2 are completely different and numbered based on when i joined. 1 is after school and not really a school orchestra, and 2 is a school orchestra.

bonus: things they say a lot

"snailed it!" "open up your vowels, sopranos" "you SLAYED" "does anyone have any hot tea?" (chorus)

"SHAPE IT" "less talking more rocking/less conversing more rehearsing" "lets go! *loud clap*" (orchestra 1)

[insert dad jokes here] (band)

[woundedsoul12]

Quotes of the Day

Sometimes I say good shit so I'm posting them here

1. Idk I'm unhealthy af (talking about how I would literally be down to let Ghost shoot me)

2. I blame the junimos (There's magic in SDV. Junimos making the omegaverse happen)

3. People are feral for omegaverse shit (haha made a pun)

4. "There's no room for that in the Squad. And there's sure as hell no room for that between us." (Written dialog that I am also applying to real life)

5. I had to be that bitch (Me after basically every decision)

Special thank you to @julie-spirit-finn @thebarghestiest @notyourmamasdeerbat and @blackwall-my-tiny-husband for putting up with my shit today. You the real ones

[rae-lo]

Just saw a sign at the dentist that read something along the lines of

“ Every 💀 person on Mt. Everest was a highly motivated person that just didn’t climb down”

why is this at my dentist office

[emmyhunnywrites]

Things I've Heard In My High School:

"I need to get pregnant."

"Im gonna cough out my tampon."

"Can I drink out of that sink? Is it safe?" / "Why would you ask that when I've literally watched you eat things off the floor?"

"Have your parents ever told you that you might have a chemical imbalance in your brain??"

"Speaking of male strippers, my Grandma..."

"It's "der Rasen mähen", not "machen". Machen means do, and you can't do a lawn." / "You can if you're Barry Keoghan."

"*heavily accented* I think it was Plato that was poisoned to death by Chlamydia."

"Im gonna take that duck and shove it in your ear."

[carpentertheimaginative]

Hello DSMP Community! My best friend and I are part of a rather chaotic DSMP RP and it's a blast. We have a quotebook channel on the Discord server and she decided to share our weird and out-of-context quotes. You can read it here: https://www.quotev.com/story/16919917/Dream-SMP-Reborn-QuoteBook

[thebiglubinski]

Just remembered a line of dialogue from my dream:

"A crown's worth a few badgers and a pocketful of coin"

I'm begging my brain to remember the context for this, please I need to know.

[jacksfoxevangeline]

PJO characters as things my friends have said

“As long as your clothes are on I guess it’s fine.” -Piper “You’re just jealous that I’ve kissed more boys than you.” -Leo “Please get off the pole.” -Annabeth "Oh you two have something in common, you both like dicks."- Leo "Oh wow, I really have kissed more boys than you."- Leo to Piper "You have friends?"- Leo to Piper “I am not strip dancing in front of my dad.”- Piper (bc I actually said this) “Gynecologist”- Hazel? idk “Just because 20 bucks is 20 bucks doesn’t make me gay.”- Leo “Romans didn’t have kindergarten, they had war.”- Jason “Helmets? That’s what skulls are for.”- Reyna “I would smash a Frank in the straightest way possible.”- Leo “I think we’re getting sidetracked by the moth.”- Sally “He’s just a dumb ass.” “Just like him.”- Piper and Frank about Leo “Did someone pee on the floor?”- Hazel “I’m a dictator.”- Sally (my latin teacher, Ms. Jackson, actually said this) “YET?!”- Leo “Does everyone have an STD?”- Mr. D “If there’s a hole, there’s a goal.” Octavian “Glitter is the herpes of the craft world” *points to a cup of ketchup* “Is that ketchup?”- Calypso “Is that the Golden Gate Bridge?” “In West Virginia?” -Percy and Annabeth “Can we eat radioactive material..?”-Hazel “Are they gay for each other?” “They’re brothers!”- Piper and Annabeth *pat pat* “I think I got comfy thighs..”-Annabeth “Thick thighs save lives!” -Piper “Is that his sister? Or his girlfriend?”-Hazel “I choked on bean skin” “All hail the hand turkey /jk” - Leo “I wonder what it would be like to pour hydrochloric acid on my skin.” -Leo “I kinda want to drink bleach” -Percy “Stop caressing me with tape” -Piper to Leo