#weirdrobotgrl

[introspectiveandroid]

I Did Something Bad

A song about:

The Beards

1. Joe Jonas

2. Taylor Lautner

3. John Mayer

4. Jake Gyllenhaal

5. Connor Kennedy

6. Harry Styles

7. Calvin Harris

8. Tom Hiddleston

>I never trust a narcissist but they love me

Several of the men could be described here. Jonas/Mayer/Gyllenhall/Harris?

>So I play 'em like a violin and I make it look oh so easy

Could be alluding to how she metaphorically plays the violin sadly at the demise of the PR relationship in her songs. Poor Taylor dumped by the mean bf.

>’Cause for every lie I tell them they tell me three

She makes them look like cheaters or mean after the relationship but some of them make up their own lies after the fact too (eg Mayer implying he was wounded over ‘dear John’). Perhaps she feels some just didn’t play fair over the arrangement behind the scenes too.

>This is how the world works, now all he thinks about is is me

They are left with endless questions after the ‘relationship’ once it’s over and they are forever branded by her as ex gf. E.g. Jake and the scarf.

>I can feel the flames on my skin, Crimson red paint on my lips, If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing

She is offering publicity and perhaps access or collaborations to raise the guys profile in return but if they step out of line the deal is off. Calvin talked shit (‘I grew a beard to get a Grammy’ tweets) and dissed her so the deal is off.

>I don't regret it one bit, 'cause he had it coming

It wasn’t his first fuck up (caught in a Thai massage parlour)

>They say I did something bad

Then why's it feel so good?

They say I did something bad

But why's it feel so good?

Most fun I ever had

And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could

It just felt so good, good

She’s been dating a girl and that has been breaking into the mainstream

>I never trust a playboy but they love me. So I fly him all around the world and I let them think they saved me

Tom and Taylor and the jetting around. He saved her from Calvin.

Harry was a playboy too with a womaniser rep.

>They never see it comin' what I do next. This is how the world works you gotta leave before you get left

Then she dropped them.

>I can feel the flames on my skin. He says, "Don't throw away a good thing"

Maybe one or other beard wanted to keep it going (eg Tom who seemed more into it than her).

Or this is her Dad or Scott B advising her that it’s a successful PR strategy.

>But if he drops my name, then I owe him nothin'

She’s pragmatic and ruthless, if she’s getting bad PR or any negative impact the deal is off

>And if he spends my change, then he had it comin'

If he’s costing her too much cash for no good PR return he’s out.

>They say I did something bad

Then why's it feel so good?

They say I did something bad

But why's it feel so good?

Most fun I ever had

And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could

It just felt so good, good

It just felt so good

They're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one

They got their pitchforks and proof

Their receipts and reasons

They're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one

So light me up (light me up), light me up (light me up)

Light me up, go ahead and light me up (light me up)

Light me up (light me up), light me up (light me up)

Light me up (light me up), light me up (light me up)

They say I did something bad

Then why's it feel so good?

They say I did something bad

But why's it feel so good?

Most fun I ever had

And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could

It just felt so good, good

Oh, you say I did something bad

Then why's it feel so good, good?

So bad, why's it feel so good?

Why's it feel, why's it feel so good? (Bad)

It just felt so good, good

She is burning her PR narrative. Her whole brand was screwed after snakegate and she was being dragged for all her historical PR so all bets were off. Her reputation as a serial dater was a facade anyway so she doesn’t care now she’s singing about it.

Collaborative effort with:

https://allengirl1991.tumblr.com

[introspectiveandroid]

Champagne Problems

The jilted one who proposed:

1. Was on the night train. 2. Had a ring and a picture. 3. Had told their family. 4. Has a sister. 5. Bought Dom perignon. 6. Has hometown sceptics. 7. Had made a speech. 8. Was on her knees. 9. Was crestfallen on the landing.

The one who said no:

1. Dropped her lovers hand while dancing 2. Couldn’t give a reason 3. Recalls the jilted one’s

Midas touch

A November flush

A flannel cure

A dorm

Evergreen friends (which they won’t call ‘ours’ again?)

4. Feels she’s mad 5. Never was ready 6. Watched the jilted one go on to marry another? (~ one for the money, two for show i.e. Marry twice) 7. Is fucked in the head (according to the sceptics?) 8. Did not know her answer (no) until she was asked 9. Thinks the jilted love will find the real thing with someone else who will heal her and not jilt her 10. And… the one who said no is actually the one with the champagne problems (this is the twist in the tale)

Always thought it was the muse who was jilted by Taylor but then when Taylor sung this on the landing in the wedding dress from IBYTAM it was like she was saying she was the jilted bride. That confused me...

Also IBYTAM is also a narrative as if she (Taylor) was left and has pitched up to disrupt the wedding and claim the bride back (and give her the scarf back?). So strange to do that if she said no to a marriage proposal right….

Perhaps the muse proposed earlier in their relationship and she said no at that time. Then after a period of on and off reunions it was Taylor in the end that was keen and was finally jilted 

[introspectiveandroid]

Coney Island

Alternate Duet

Red & Blue ~ Pink = both

Break my soul in two looking for you

But you're right here

If I can't relate to you anymore

Then who am I related to?

And if this is the long haul

How'd we get here so soon?

Did I close my fist around something delicate?

Did I shatter you?

And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island

Wondering, "Where did my baby go?"

The fast times, the bright lights, the merry-go

Sorry for not making you my centerfold

Over and over

Lost again with no surprises

Disappointments close your eyes

And it gets colder and colder

When the sun goes down

The question pounds my head

What's a lifetime of achievement

If I pushed you to the edge

But you were too polite to leave me?

Do you miss the rogue

Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?

Will you forgive my soul

When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

'Cause we were like the mall before the internet

It was the one place to be

The mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams

Sorry for not winning you an arcade ring

Over and over

Lost again with no surprises

Disappointments close your eyes

And it gets colder and colder

When the sun goes down

Were you waiting at our old spot

In the tree line, by the gold clock?

Did I leave you hanging every single day?

Were you standing in the hallway with a big cake?

Happy birthday

Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?

A universe away

And when I got into the accident

The sight that flashed before me was your face

But when I walked up to the podium

I think that I forgot to say your name

I'm on a bench in Coney Island

Wondering, "Where did my baby go?"

The fast times, the bright lights, the merry-go

Sorry for not making you my centerfold

Over and over

Lost again with no surprises

Disappointments close your eyes

And it gets colder and colder

When the sun goes down

When the sun goes down

The sight that flashed before me was your face

When the sun goes down

But I think that I forgot to say your name

Over and over

Sorry for not making you my, making you my

Making you my centerfold

[introspectiveandroid]

Ivy

Written in a retro Victorian stylie. It’s evocative of Emily Dickinson (& Sue/Austin). It's about a love triangle with a narrator, who is in love with a woman, this woman is also in a relationship with a man and will marry him.

Verse 1 (Remembering the beginning of how they met and setting the scene....)

The narrator is sad and grieving, reflecting on her situation. She tells us the whole story:

How's one to know? I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones In a faith-forgotten land

How could i have known I’d meet my soulmate “where the spirit meets the bones”? [This is a line from a poem (Compassion by Miller Williams) - it means the deep emotional part of oneself].  

The poem by Williams encourages compassion to all because you never know what’s going on in someone’s heart or soul that might be motivating their apparent inconsiderate behaviour.

Maybe this is the circumstance of the meeting of these two; the lover showed some compassion and saw a deeper hurt in the narrator, which touched her. They connected. Perhaps the narrator had lost faith in love or life (in a faith forgotten land).

In from the snow Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow Tarnished, but so grand

The muse thawed her emotions (like being brought in from snow) or perhaps it is literal, there was snow.

Snow is also a memory in atw10: I still remember the first fall of snow, and how it glistened as it fell. There is also snow globe imagery in lover (may be a reference to a certain stage performance is the allusion here). 

She tells us ‘tarnished’ feelings were reignited and ‘glow’. Perhaps the narrator was hurt in the past so her heart was closed to love so these feelings were unused for a while. However, tarnished also implies stained or sullied - so are these also ‘wrong’ or repressed homosexual feelings? At any rate the feelings are/were ‘grand’ and ‘incandescent’. The narrator recognises the feeling of falling in love?...

(so that was how it started but now it’s over...) 

And the old widow goes to the stone every day But I don't, I just sit here and wait Grieving for the living

Now she just sits sadly waiting. 

A widow can visit a grave stone but she lost that muse and it feels like she died (she has disappeared from her life) but she cant visibly grieve like a widow because the lover is still alive and the love was secret.

(she recalls the beginning of the end...) 

Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine but it's been promised to another Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered in you

The lover took her hand in hers and told her she was now engaged to someone else. She felt this as physical pain like she had frozen her heart (think of Elsa freezing Anna’s heart for a very simple visual). 

[Think of the bit-emoji (143. remember those days) a previous muse showed a heart can fit the palm of a hand, freezing or not...]

She still can’t stop dreaming about the muse, and is consumed by thoughts of her (ivy is very destructive - this metaphor is vivid and evokes the madness you can feel in losing ‘the one’).

Verse 2 (In these maddening consuming ivy dreams or in flashbacks she recalls....)

I wish to know The fatal flaw that makes you long to be Magnificently cursed He's in the room Your opal eyes are all I wish to see He wants what's only yours

Is this a visual from her dreamland or a flashback? 

It seems to be about competition with the lover’s male suitor? She wanted to awaken the lovers fatal flaw (sapphic), the one that makes the lover desire to sin. ‘ He’ is there though, preventing them from becoming magnificently cursed (ie female lovers and/or in a relationship). She only wants to think of the lovers beautiful eyes but he is an ever present obstacle and he has his own sexual desires for the muse too. They are rivals.

Bridge (Fast forward: the affair and a failed escape...)

Clover blooms in the fields Spring breaks loose, the time is near What would he do if he found us out? Crescent moon, coast is clear Spring breaks loose, but so does fear He's gonna burn this house to the ground

They have an affair irrespective of the marriage plan and her jealousy (imagery of clover and spring). But it’s very stressful in case he finds out. The narrator thinks she has won her lover over and that they will escape together. The plan is all looking good (crescent moon coast is clear) but the lover takes fear and breaks off the affair fearing ‘he’ will become enraged, or perhaps he actually finds out and threatens to wreak havoc (burn this house). The muse capitulates, perhaps they both do.

Verse 3 (the denouement....)

How's one to know? I'd live and die for moments that we stole On begged and borrowed time

She reflects. Who knew this would end up with them clinging to borrowed moments together, that were like life and death to the narrator (it is an affair, she is the hidden other woman, while the muse retains the male love interest). 

Perhaps this tenuous situation culminates in an ultimatum issued by the love interest after narrator complains OR it’s just a self realisation by the narrator about what’s implicitly being being asked of her.

Is this the ultimatum/realisation?...

So tell me to run Or dare to sit and watch what we'll become And drink my husband's wine

Choose to either “run” and leave the relationship (i.e. if it’s too painful to be on these terms of “begged and borrowed time”) or continue to tolerate this situ and be brave, dare to stay, as the muse demands, and “sit and watch” them become man and wife. Plus literally attend the wedding and drink hubby’s vino at the reception!

(what happened next...)

So yeah, it's a fire It's a goddamn blaze in the dark And you started it You started it So yeah, it's a war It's the goddamn fight of my life And you started it You started it

Conflict. She didn’t go with grace. The husband “burned down the house” ~ emotions of anger/jealousy/bitterness were unleashed on both sides and/or frantic attempts to win back the lover. It became a war, an existential threat, and the narrator thinks the muse started it. 

outro...

Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered in you Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Now I'm covered in you In you

She still cannot stop thinking about the muse. Perhaps though, the ivy is destroying the house...

[introspectiveandroid]

Tolerate It

I think that everyone thinks this is about her dad, here is an alternative interpretation... :)

She deliberately uses a phrase she once used on radio to describe attitudes to homosexual love (4.40) to signpost the love she is referring to in this song; so it’s heavily queer coded imo.

The overarching feel is of a girl, with a partner or significant person in her life, who is indifferent to her ‘type’ of love. It could be her dad, but for me there is too much in this song that that I think speaks to a romantic relationship too, to be only about her dad’s disapproval.

So...

I had this theory that If I’d split with my gf I would be stalking her social media (I know, I know- don’t judge me). I wondered what the social media posts (& linked video clips, etc), or the magazine articles, of a famous muse would look like to an ex. (i.e. if I looked at a potential muse’s social media or googled her what would I see).

So, I looked, channeling sad ex vibes...

Having done this, I got to thinking that the opening here could refer to stalking old stuff while ‘in exile’ after it’s over. Ordinary people do this right, look at old stuff and photos, or look at the ex with new partner on facebook or whatever. Much more possible and fruitful if you have a high profile ex....

Soo...

I sit and watch you reading with your Head low

I wake and watch you breathing with your Eyes closed

You can find content showing a certain muse doing this...

I sit and watch you, and notice everything you do or don't do

Basically, I wondered is this reminiscing about the lover and looking them up ‘selling dreams, selling make up and magazines’  because ‘ a tiny screen's the only place i see you now’? :)

‘you’re so much older and wiser’ 

With this in mind, I then thought about this line. I think it’s the one that makes people think its about her dad.

I wondered if this could simply be an observation of how in the online content the muse just seems older and wiser now compared to before when they were together (i.e. from the pov of an ex who knew her first from when she was in her late teens).

I feel like the song could refer to remembering the final terminal part of the relationship...

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid Use my best colors for your portrait Lay the table with the fancy shit And watch you tolerate it

I greet you with a battle hero's welcome I take your indiscretions all in good fun I sit and listen I polish plates until they gleam and glisten

...and to the feeling in the aftermath of the split, as you watch your ex lover erase your love story from her new life with her husband, to the point where you feel the uncertainty over whether the feelings were ever reciprocated....

If it's all in my head tell me now Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

(i.e. Did you ever really love me too?)

I know my love should be celebrated But you tolerate it

.....and does society even condone it (parents and friends), did the lover just ‘tolerate it’. Will queer love ever be a cause for celebration?

The bridge in particular

There was one article I read where the muse discusses her whole career arc: (modelling, business ventures etc) and how she’s now this mega business woman, having built up her career, and how she did that with the camp etc etc. At the end there was some mention of the TS friendship (where its kinda minimised). I thought wow that has to sting. My feeling was, after reading the article, that her story is all only about her and her husband now ~ TS is erased even as a friend and is now nowhere to be seen in her story. 

“When you were building other worlds where was I ….” 

This fits that feeling of erasure. I mean when they were together, TS maybe advised and was part of that time in building her career a bit. I just felt like reading these articles now, it would feel sad. It can feel like you literally imagined the whole thing ~ ‘all in your head’, ‘got it wrong somehow’ again in the aftermath of a secret queer relationship.Its very relatable.

Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?

The memory of their shared life and mutual support

‘now i’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life, drawing hearts in the byline’

This also seemed to fit someone literally reading magazine articles

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky

In false god (Religion's in your lips, the altar is my hips, we'd still worship), 

the butterfly mural

the lover purple pink sky and references to daylight (Now I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you, I've been sleepin' so long in a twenty-year dark night, I only see daylight)

Always taking up too much space or time You assume I'm fine But what would you do if I, I

Break free and leave us in ruins Took this dagger in me and removed it Gain the weight of you then lose it Believe me, I could do it

Finally in her reminiscence she becomes negative and maudlin, with feelings of low mood (if I do what?.. something to myself?), and contemplations of retaliation (leave us in ruins ...what? out us?).

[introspectiveandroid]

NEW Years Day v’s Lover

NYD 

A relationship is like New Year eve and it’s aftermath the next day.

The night is about celebration and joy, fireworks, dancing, music and lights (the relationship honeymoon period). The day after is about hangovers and mess and the house looking like a bomb hit, with the need to clean up when you feel like shit (the work of a long term relationship hitting the rocks). She wants the midnights but is also ok to clean up the bottles. Through thick & thin.

The message is I loved the highs but we can cope with the hard parts too, let’s not split. Don’t leave me.

She’s saying: if you skip to the end of our story you’ll find my love never dies. Even when she’s scared that the lover is lost or leaving her or if it’s hard and things are going wrong or they are making mistakes.

She doesn’t want them to split up, she doesn’t want the pain of meeting up as strangers and filling with pain and nostalgia, she wants the relationship to be forever and she’s asking them to try and remember the good memories and hold on to them and their relationship in troubled times. 

She is pleading for the muse to stay but it does by the end feel like wishful thinking, like she knows in her heart that maybe only she will hold on, and what she fears will happen (about them becoming strangers) may actually happen.

Lover 

You’re my my my my… lover.

This feels to me like Taylor is looking for the right word to describe ‘you’ (the love interest). You are not my wife. Not my girlfriend. Not just a friend. We have sex though so you are my …. ‘lover’ I guess.

I wonder if she is alluding to some of their problems in the relationship:

Maybe she’s promising not to be controlling and to share ‘our place’ so that ‘we’ make the rules and the call.

The ‘haze’/‘mysterious’ is maybe about her feeling of a lack of transparency in the relationship and that no matter how long she knows the lover (20 secs/yrs) they still not really giving her a clear view of the road ahead. Commitment issues?

She also seems to be insecure about others wanting the lover. Jealousy can come also from feeling there is no long term commitment (ie. To all future summers) and/or an anxiety that the lover might be tempted because they don’t feel as strongly as she does.

She seems to be pleading for a permanent future in the chorus that they don’t have: can we always be this close, forever, in a home where we can return together after being out (of the closet? - maybe that was a problem too)

The bridge (is confusing)

It’s obviously evoking a wedding ceremony & vows. I could read that as cynical because the wedding has occurred. So she’s imagining vows between them even in that hellish context of loosing her to another:

With my scarred hands I’d still take magnetic you as my lover, there has been heartache but if we ended up together then ‘all's well that ends well’ (I’d put up with it). I’ll still be overdramatic and you’ll still have your dirty jokes (it might not be perfect) but I’ll save you a seat at the table (ie. I’ll wait for you if you want me).

[introspectiveandroid]

Happiness

Honey, when I'm above the trees I see this for what it is But now I'm right down in it, all the years I've given Is just shit we're dividin' up Showed you all of my hiding spots I was dancing when the music stopped And in the disbelief, I can't face reinvention I haven't met the new me yet

When I get perspective I can be rational. But right now I cynically view the value of the relationship as drilling down to arguments about material things. You knew the hidden (real/raw) me and the end was unexpected (I was still into you). I’m stunned and can’t move on. I’m stuck.

There'll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you Both of these things can be true There is happiness

Chorus just has a literal meaning as written.

Past the blood and bruise 

bad blood style- ie. fights

Past the curses and cries 

afterglow type- ie. arguments

Beyond the terror in the nightfall 

out of the woods type anxiety about closeting

Haunted by the look in my eyes That would've loved you for a lifetime 

The delicate music video/best friends staring contest look - Tay’s ‘loving look’

Leave it all behind  And there is happiness

I must stop clinging to the memory of us

Tell me, when did your winning smile Begin to look like a smirk? When did all our lessons start to look like weapons 

lessons meaning everything we learned about each other; our vulnerabilities and secrets, which we turned to hurt each other

Pointed at my deepest hurt? 

Her hurt is often referred to ‘scars’ in other songs. A past trauma?

I hope she'll be your beautiful fool Who takes my spot next to you. 

Allusion to Daisy in Gatsby - this makes me think of ‘an ever lovely never needy jewel whose shine reflects on you’ - like maybe get an undemanding pretty trophy gf next. 

No, I didn't mean that Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury 

she tries to suppress her bitterness

You haven't met the new me yet There'll be happiness after me But there was happiness because of me Both of these things, I believe 

she’s flipped you to me now: so saying we both made each other unhappy but we did once make each other happy and we will both be happy again

There is happiness In our history, across our great divide There is a glorious sunrise 

I think of the FaceTime birthday with KK- dunno why but it could be evoking a happy shared memory. 

Dappled with the flickers of light. From the dress I wore at midnight 

the infamous dress of the song? - I wonder if it could be a dress worn on NYE and something significant happened at midnight on NYE in their past~ ‘I want your midnights’. She’s evoking a happy memory anyway here.

Also, those line probably have a double meaning implying the sun will rise on the darkness that is this end - they will get through the bitter part of break up.

leave it all behind 

stop pinning for those happy times

And there is happiness 

let your self move on

I can't make it go away by making you a villain I guess it's the price I paid for seven years in Heaven

I wonder if it’s a religious/biblical reference. She made religious references to love before in holy ground/false god.

The rapture is the second coming of Christ. Story is He will sweep the righteous into heaven for 7 years of protection to avoid the great tribulation, which is God’s wrath, reigning down shit on sinners -as prophesied in revelations.

Her false god protected her from snakegate. Is this the lover that didn’t have to save her but said yes to running away with her in ‘call it what you want’? The saviour who protected her during her personal apocalypse.

Or….

More simple. Some people think the seven years in heaven is a reference to a party game where you kiss in a closet.

Or…

Simplest. They were together for 7 years and it was awesome.

And I pulled your body into mine every goddamn night 

it was a long term relationship

Now I get fake niceties

relations are now strained and estranged

No one teaches you what to do When a good man hurts you And you know you hurt him, too 

Realises both are hurt and hurt each other

Honey, when I'm above the trees I see it for what it is 

I can be objective

But now my eyes leak acid rain on the pillow where you used to lay your head

A hyperbolic version of a term like ‘bitter tears’ (like bitter acidic eg. lemon juice). They are so copious they are like rain i.e. I am currently bitter and cynical and emotional - not objective.

Also acid rain is very destructive and toxic so also a metaphor

 After giving you the best I had Tell me what to give after that

and I’m gutted: I gave it my all. I think of the ‘I tried badge’

All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness 

think of the story ‘closure’ tells, plus it’s another allusion to Gatsby

You haven't met the new me yet And I think she'll give you that 

she wants to move past this bitter stage and thinks she can

[introspectiveandroid]

Cowboy Like Me

I think this is a song about bearding, being ‘the other woman’ in an affair, and karma

And the tennis court was covered up with some tent-like thing

This evokes a wedding, perhaps the reason for this song. She is reflecting on her relationship after the marriage of the muse.

And you asked me to dance but I said, "Dancing is a dangerous game"

At the start of the relationship, she was scared to ‘dance’ i.e., to get involved.

Oh, I thought this is gonna be one of those things

She thought it was going to be a love affair that might break her heart (like before?).

Now I know I'm never gonna love again

She was right, it didn’t make her happy, she can’t move on to love anyone else.

I've got some tricks up my sleeve. Takes one to know one, you're a cowboy like me

She acknowledges she has a past herself. Her tricks/deceptions: bearding, glass closeting, having both a lover and a PR bloke, hiding her real relationship. Perhaps even a history of treating her real lovers the way she has been treated in this relationship.

Never wanted love, just a fancy car

She sees the lover as a material girl and perhaps she was that person too once.

Now I'm waiting by the phone, like I'm sitting in an airport bar

This is a description of being at someone’s beck and call. I think of an affair, where you have to wait for them to call and you are kind of trapped by your obsession. You put up with the scraps of their attention. Your metaphorical plane is not going anywhere, and you just pass your time waiting to take flight with them if they call.

You had some tricks up your sleeve takes one to know one

The shoe is on the other foot now, the lover is playing these tricks on her now. Perhaps she’s done this herself in relationships in her past. i.e., had someone ‘waiting for her call in the airport bar’.

You're a cowboy like me perched in the dark

You are a closeted queer

Telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear, like it could be love, I could be the way forward, only if they pay for it

You offer to be in a PR relationship for money. This is the game (the trick) they both know.

You're a bandit like me, eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life. Never thought I'd meet you here

She sees the lover as a fairly pragmatic character doing this for the money and to get on, she thought she was the only one like that and never thought she’d meet someone so like her.

It could be love, we could be the way forward, and I know I'll pay for it

I wonder if she’s being cynical here? There is a twist in the lyrics to I’ll pay for it. Maybe she wonders here if she was played. It a bit like “and the saddest fear comes creeping in that (s)he never loved me or her…..”

You're a cowboy like me, perched in the dark, telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear. Like it could be love, I could be the way forward, only if they pay for it.

This is the trick they play, that they have both use on men, but she is also rich – so was the game of ‘pretend love’ used on her and she thought it was real?

You're a bandit like me, eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life, never thought I'd meet you here. It could be love, we could be the way forward, and I know I'll pay for it.

She reflects. The lover is a hustler like her, maybe the player (her) got played? She certainly knows she’s ‘paying’ for their relationship now in emotional heartache. Maybe this is also the switch to her realising she will need to pay for a new PR relationship herself now to clean it all up.

And the skeletons in both our closets, plotted hard to f*** this up

She knows both of their pasts did cause problems for their relationship. Past contractual obligations? Trust issues, jealousy?

And the old men that I've swindled, really did believe I was the one

She realises she easily fooled men into thinking her love for them was real, so why would she not have been fooled herself by a crook who was caught?

And the ladies lunching have their stories about, when you passed through town but that was all before I locked it down

She knows there was negative gossip about the lover and her, but she has shut it down now (with her new beard?).

Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon

So, she has locked it down. Her new lover (beard) is apparently one of the seven wonders of the world, he hangs from her lips (like an actual beard would) but is he an illusion? – no one is sure if he is real. Equally, the love of her life is an illusion now too. Now they are over, did they really happen? Was their relationship real, or was it like the gardens of Babylon, a beautiful myth? The lover has erased her from her life.

With your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con

Boots beneath your bed is a Shania Twain song about a lover who has various affairs. Perhaps she became just like one of the girls named in that song. The lover’s boots were beneath her bed at the end, but it was not ‘always and forever’ for that relationship like she’d hoped, it was a sweet con where their relationship was to be hidden in perpetuity. The lover’s man was always going to be part of their story too. She was always destined to be in the airport bar.

I've had some tricks up my sleeve, takes one to know one you're a cowboy like me

Can she complain? Is it Karma? Maybe it’s what she did to other people, so she knows the playbook. Maybe she had women, who wanted more commitment, while she insisted on a guy for show and expected them to cope.

And I'm never gonna love again….. outro

It ends sadly like it didn’t work out (the faithless love/hoax/shade of blue ended). She feels she’s never going to love anyone else, its broken her.