guys. GUYS.
hear me out here, because my brain went into overload on this ever since i half-jokingly started to mention it to mags meaning to prompt her with it and then i was like NO WAIT THIS IS MINE and I took it way too seriously
but anyway. GUYS
werewolf!Bilbo
-A very young Bilbo Baggins was bit during the Fell Winter, and Gandalf is the only reason he wasn’t instantly shot by rangers. Over the years, Gandalf becomes a bit of a mentor, helping as much as he can and teaching Bilbo to control himself. His parents never doubt him, and he’s raised in a loving if a bit isolated environment (the common excuse given is that he’s a sickly lad who never shook off something from that winter. It isn’t quite the truth, but it’s close enough to be an easy lie)
-The result is a gentlehobbit who is comfortable with his less-than-civilized nature, and is at ease with all that he is. Also as much as the angst potential of werewolves being Sauron’s creatures is sky high, I do love me the idea that Bilbo does fully and seriously, with Gandalf’s help, burn out the intention of the bite-curse and is entirely his own creature because Bilbo Baggins is a beautiful cinnamon bun who is too good and pure for this world and that is my favorite thing ever goddamnit.
-I mean he’s comfortable with it and himself but he still has to hide it, it’s just bad manners turning into a wolf in front of guests. So he keeps mostly to himself, is seen as the eccentric rich loner who is respectable and perfectly polite and well mannered, if stand-offish.
-Also his wolfy form is waayyyy fuckin bigger than any halfling-werewolf has any right to be. He isn’t quite warg size but he could take one on. Mainly he complains about the fact that this makes it really hard to just curl up and sleep comfortably in his living room on full moons without knocking his armchair over.
-Much later, despite protests that sound very much like the original ones (along with “really Gandalf I don’t know what help you expect me to be, I’m a lazy furball who likes curling up in front of my fires.”) he joins a quest and does his best to come of with excuses as to why the ponies are terrified of a little hobbit.
And for real the headcanons for his Thorin interactions are my fave like can you IMAGINE
-Bilbo chafing at this FUCKING DICK and every instinct is telling him to challenge this asshole and take him down a few notches. But the rational bit of him knows that Thorin is the proper leader and king, and in this group Bilbo is the outsider.
-As a result, Thorin is so confused as to why the halfling never really meets his eyes and always backs down with this odd head twist that shows his neck. Hobbits are goddamn weird.
-Thorin’s usual thoughts are “No seriously HOBBITS ARE GODDAMN WEIRD. What is he doing, is he sniffing the air. What the hell.”
-”DID THE HALFLING’S EYES JUST REFLECT THE FIRELIGHT I RETRACT EARLIER OPINIONS. HALFLINGS ARE CREEPY”
- One time Bilbo growls at something and Thorin nearly jumps out of his damn skin
-Elrond is VERY interested in Bilbo and this does not help Thorin’s suspicions in the slightest
-When what exactly Thorin has been harboring in his company finally comes out, it almost Gets Ugly. It definitely puts further points against Bilbo when it comes to Thorin trusting him.
- It’s helped even less when Thorin asks why the hell Bilbo doesn’t, y’know, turn into a way more helpful murder beast when shit hits the fan and Bilbo just stammers that he’s never bloody killed anything besides the occasional rabbit! So Thorin’s like, great, not only did the wizard saddle me with a friggin werewolf, he found the most useless werewolf he could. Awesome. So continues the joke that is my life.
-This changes after the goblin tunnels, when Thorin is down and lying prone, seeing death coming way sooner than he expected, and then he hears a bone-chilling snarl that isn’t a warg.
(also yes I definitely have....IDEAS...for the fact that while Bilbo is a cinnamon bun, werewolves ARE originally Sauron’s creatures. And there is a ring and a dragon of his to contend with...
But anyway, not too much detail because I kinda legit am planning out a fic for this because it will not leave me)
