general notes; meera and i suck and we love these two way too much for it to be healthy so we did a single dad au which is very loosely based off of baby daddy. nsfw
Aarav didn't realize when he woke up that morning just how significant this day was going to be for him. It was a day that would end up defining the rest of his life, he just didn't know it. He'd gotten his morning coffee, and just about relaxed in front of the television to watch some lame morning show when the doorbell rang outside the apartment. Putting down the mug of coffee, he got up from the couch and made his way to the front door, grabbing a t-shirt and slipping it over his torso quickly. Rohan was probably still sound asleep considering how late he heard the other man come in. Yawning, Aarav opened the door and saw no one. He was about to shut the door when he heard a tiny cry. Looking down, he saw a bassinet with a little baby inside. "Whoa," Aarav backed away and frowned, wondering if this was one of those out of body dreams he was having. But the crying continued and people walking across the sidewalk were still staring at him and so he picked the bassinet up and just closed the door, completely unaware of what he should be doing now. That's when he picked up his phone and called the one person who was sensible enough to know how to deal with this, whatever this was.
Tanya turned over in her sleep again, smiling. I love you too Mrs. Roy, a husky voice murmured into her ear and it was the harsh sound of a buzzer that shook Tanya. She felt around for it, glaring at the pillow for taking away her dream. Of course the sight of Aarav's name (with two hearts) flashing across her phone quickly took away that thought too. "Hello," she greeted, trying not to sound as breathless as she was. Why was he calling? Had he woken up this morning and finally realized that he'd always been in love with her? Had the fact that he hadn't spoken to her for nearly six months been long enough for an epiphany of his true feelings? Tanya's heart raced but somehow she knew that it would be none of those things. It never was.
Aarav had to prevent himself from fist pumping the air when he heard Tanya actually answer. He'd been so worried that the fact that he hadn't called her in six months would be reason enough for her not to answer him. "Thank god you answered Tanya," He closed his eyes, wincing when the little baby in the bassinet still continued the crying. "So um, how are you?" Aarav didn't really think it was possible but he used one hand to hold the bassinet while he balanced the phone with his other hand, amused at how holding the heavy thing was almost like lifting weights. "I'm sorry I never called--but can you like, tum yahaan aa sakhti ho? There's something going on and I need your advice." He knew it was a lot to ask of her but he also knew that Tanya Sen was the one person in the world he could go to for something like this and she'd never refuse him. Plus, waking Rohan up after his late night shift with a crying baby was sure to land him in some sort of problem.
Tanya shut her eyes when he mentioned the fact that they hadn't been talking. She wouldn't lie and say that it hadn't hurt, but it had. She had thought that he would at least call and ask about how she was doing; he hadn't asked if she was stressed about her LSATs; nor would she tell him that in her pencil case she had kept the photobooth strip of the two of them at that carnival during college. He of course looked gorgeous. When did he not?Tanya however looked chubby, just like she always did. To everyone, she was just Aarav's chubby friend - and to girls she was that bitch always with Aarav. Well they'd get the shock of their life, if they saw her now. All of them would drop dead; or at least she hoped they would, considering she'd had her entire wardrobe tossed out and changed because she no longer fit into those clothes. "Yeah, I'll..." Tanya glanced at the clock, biting down on her bottom lip. If she got in the shower now, she could be there in, "Fifteen! I'll be there in fifteen." Pause. She looked through her closet, wondering why she was even stressing so much about what she was going to wear? It's not like Aarav was ever going to care. "Hey, you still-- you still live in the same place right?"
Aarav had always said that Tanya was his best friend, sure Rohan got really annoyed about that every so often but it was the truth. Rohan was his best friend who was there for all the fun stupid moments, but Tanya had been the one who had held his hand when he'd found out about his parent's getting divorced. Rohan was the one he got smashed with, while Tanya had been the one he'd taken to help him pick out his interiors for the home he was sharing with Rohan. He knew Tanya was probably upset that Aarav had basically disappeared from her life for so long, but he knew how she got when she needed to study and so he'd just backed away from her life for a little while. But the little while had turned into a lot longer than he expected. When he heard her words, though, he smiled and nodded. "Yeah, the same old place. Can't wait to see you," he added before looking down at the baby who seemed to be calming down considerably. As soon as they ended the call, though, he looked down at the baby and saw something he hadn't noticed before. There was an envelope there right behind the baby's head and he knew it would help him understand everything. He took the letter out of the envelope and scanned through it before he dropped it. This was his daughter?! Aarav Roy--had a daughter, and now he was completely bewildered as to how he was supposed to deal with this whole thing. The letter told him everything he needed to know about his daughter but didn't give the mother's name. It told him that he was now entirely responsible for his daughter and so now he'd had no choice but to live up to that responsibility.
Tanya groaned, pulling off her clothes and tossing them on the bed once more. Of course if Tanya Sen spared a look to the bed, she would have realized that it looked like a hurricane had passed through it. Eventually Tanya decided on a black crop top, pairing it with a long skirt. Perhaps she chose it because she had just recently bought it, the tags from the store discarded in the waste bin. Perhaps it was because of how elegant and sophisticated and 'lawyer-like' she looked. Or maybe it was because it was the perfect outfit to showcase the weight loss that Tanya had forced herself under for the past six months. Exhaling shakily, Tanya knocked on Aarav's door, her heart racing in her chest.
Aarav had been on the couch reading the entire letter, surprised at how it made him feel. He felt like an asshole who'd completely screwed over some woman and made her end up with a baby. The very same baby who ended up in his arms now. She was very cute, that much as true but it still had him wondering how exactly he was going to deal with this? Oh and how was Rohan going to react? So by the end of it when he heard the quiet knock, he ended up throwing open the door, his eyes flitting between the door and the baby in the bassinet on the floor. But when he threw the door open--he was stunned. This was Tanya? She'd almost undergone an entire makeover or something. She looked stunning, and so unlike herself. She must've lost loads of weight and was dressing like she owned it now. "You're here! And you--wow." He tugged her into him, arms circling around her completely, loving how comforting and familiar her hugs still felt. "God, I haven't seen you in so long." He smiled before leading her in and guiding her right in front of the baby who was looking up at Tanya with a faint smile. "So--um, surprise?"
Tanya was definitely not and she had not inhaled deeply when Aarav had pulled her in for a hug so she could smell him (he still smelled the same). She gave a nervous chuckle at how he seemed floored at the sight of her and yet Raina's (her best friend and incidentally trainer) words rang in her mind: if he's suddenly into you after the weight loss, then he's not worth it. Opening her mouth to speak, she felt all her words leave her when they stopped in front of the baby. "Who's this? Are you babysi--" Tanya cut herself off; the baby had Aarav's eyes: the same dark brown of Bournvita powder that Tanya had been in love with since high school. The realization brought with it a screeching freight train that slammed into her. It was as if the world was giving her a giant slap in the face, telling her that she and Aarav could never be together, no matter what she did. Tanya exhaled, running her hand through her hair. "So uh," she stuttered, trying to find her words, "how did this-- how did this happen again?"
Aarav held her hand very tightly in his hand watching her take in the baby. She was the most perceptive woman he knew and this moment again just proved it. He could almost see her putting it all together and waited for her to react. "Again? What--again? You mean it's happened before?" That's when he realized she didn't mean it was that way. With a sigh, he took the hand he was holding and led her towards the couch, before making sure he could still keep an eye on the baby that he'd yet to name. The letter hadn't stated a name and so Aarav knew sooner or later he'd have to give her one. "This morning, there was a doorbell, and she just, she was right there on the doorstep," Aarav handed Tanya the letter he'd recently discovered, praying she'd maybe find a way to help him through the situation. Maybe lawyer her way out of this entire thing.
Tanya allowed Aarav to lead her to the couch where this famed letter was and that was when Tanya had another revelation: she would still follow this boy the ends of the earth. Furrowing her eyebrows at his words, Tanya only pursed her lips choosing rather to read through the letter. Each word she read was like a knife to her heart; he was still the same Aarav. The one who fell too quickly and fell out of love even quicker. To him, no matter what she did - Tanya would always just be the best friend, the shoulder to lean on. She cleared her throat, placing the letter back on the table. "If the-- the..." Tanya struggled, not wanting to admit that Aarav was a father. "If the mother had sent papers relinquishing her rights, you could have put her up for adoption." Tanya exhaled shakily, her heartbeat ragged. "But since she hasn't, you're the father."
Aarav didn't know how to explain it, but when he was thinking he was the father of this baby--it didn't feel quite so real. But the moment, Tanya murmured those words to him, he'd felt blown. He was the father of this baby girl. "Main kaise--how am I supposed to be a father?" But even the alternate in this situation was unimaginable. He couldn't put this little baby girl up for adoption. None of this was her fault. Aarav closed his eyes and let his head fall against the couch, this time letting his true emotion pour out. "How am I supposed to do this on my own? I don't even know the first thing about being a father.." but before he realized what he was doing--he paused and stared at her. Here he was, completely hijacking the conversation. "But wait--we'll deal with what's going to be the rest of my future later. You were studying for the LSAT's and now look at you, tell me what's been happening in the last little while?" Aarav was still plagued with thoughts of his impending future, but he didn't want to be an asshole with his best friend.
Tanya let her hand reach out for him, resting her hand on top of his own in the middle of the couch and intertwining their fingers as she moved a little closer to him. Her heart fluttered then, the butterflies in her stomach launching into a well rehearsed ballet routine, and Tanya could only hope her voice was neither pitchy nor breathy. "You will, you'll make a great dad. Koi seekh ke nahin aata ki acha papa kya hota hai. You'll learn, I promise. I believe in you Aarav Roy." She ignored his question about her. Tanya had been doing the same thing she'd ever been doing: trying to go through life and pining after Aarav. Of course she'd lost all this weight for him, not that he would ever care - it was why she'd rather let it bury in quicksand.
Aarav looked at her, peeking open his eyes with a soft smile before looking down at their hands, not noting when she shuffled a bit closer to him. There was something so entirely normal about being with Tanya, no matter what the situation happened to be. At her words, though, he felt his heart beat a little easily. He could do this. He had to be able to do this. But the truth was, he was petrified. He worked extremely long hours, sometimes from home yes, but sometimes from his office and with Rohan's schedule being completely unconventional, how was a baby going to work into the mix? "How? How am I supposed to do this?" He frowned before shrugging. "I know it's stupid because I don't know this baby, but she's my daughter right? I have to be someone she can depend on but look at me, I can barely depend on myself. Main khud toh tere pe depend karta hoon." A very unrealistic idea came to him then, one he was sure he couldn't say to Tanya and so he still kept it to himself, wondering why she'd not said anything about herself. "Well? Tell me, am I finally one of those guys who's got a lawyer on his speed dial?"
Tanya shook her head, her thumb gently running circles into the skin between his thumb and forefinger. "Aarav trust me, when you have a baby, everything falls into place itself because you look at that child and you realize you'd do anything... To keep them safe, to love them." Her breath caught in her throat when he mentioned depending on her and she looked down, her cheeks flushing a dark pink. Unfortunately, that was all she'd ever be to him. Just someone to depend on, his best friend Tanya who was no longer chubby. She laughed before shrugging. "You always had me on speed dial. Job change ho gayi, ladki toh main woh hi hoon na? Tumhari best friend?" Tanya forced those last two words out; they burned her tongue and scorched at her heart but it would do her good to remember her place in his lifez
Aarav wanted to trust her words and a part of him did but he was also extremely scared. It was different when you ventured into something new when you had a seasoned pro with you, watching your every step but this--was like diving off a waterfall into ice cold water with a baby! He could absolutely NOT do this. "I do want to keep her safe, but usse pehle maybe we should name her. It doesn't have any name in the letter so, I don't want to just keep saying she and the baby." He looked to Tanya for help before noting how she'd laughed all cutely when he'd made the joke about her being a lawyer now. "Well, of course, I know that, but now I can do my illicit activities with the confidence that you'll be there to bail me out na?" He was kidding, he didn't have any illicit activities, he just liked saying it, and seeing that adorable little-shocked face on her. Her eyes would get wide, and her tiny mouth would drop slightly, making him laugh a little bit harder.
Tanya felt her jaw drop to form a perfect little 'o' and her eyes widened at his words. She reached for the nearest cushion before whacking him on the shoulder with it. "Oh yeah? I'm sure the most illegal thing you've done is public urination Aarav. Banta bahut hai but hai toh tu phattu." God she hated this, hated how easy it was to fall into her pattern with Aarav Roy and like a fool, Tanya would only fall deeper in love with him. She sighed before getting off the couch and over to where the baby was, slowly taking her in her own arms, rocking her gently. "Hey baby," she whispered, flicking her tiny nose and smiling when the baby cooed. "Aren't you the most beautiful little girl in the world? You've got your baba's eyes, that's for sure," Tanya whispered to the little one before nodding at Aarav. "Come on baba, take her."
Aarav pursed his lips at her words before shaking his head. "Haven't even done that! Really, you're confusing me with Rohan." He chuckled the thought of her reaction before taking that same cushion from her and whacking her lightly. "Main koi phattu nahi hoon. I'm, wait--what did you call me in school? Right! Dil phek aashiq, that's what I am." Proud of his answer, he was about to ask her if she thought he should hire a caregiver or if she'd agree to help him out but before he could, he watched in surprise as she bent down to pick up his little daughter. A strange surge of pride flew through him while he heard her words and caught her expressions. But when she held her out in front of Aarav, his fear was back. "What if I drop her?"
Tanya could feel the corner of her lip threatening to upturn but forced her lips into a straight line; she would not laugh. No matter how cute Aarav looked: clueless and scared. "She's just a baby Aarav, she's not a grenade." Tanya's breath caught in her throat when those sparkling brown eyes looked up at her, chubby fingers clutching at her hair. A shot of pain rain through her head, the baby tugging on the strand of hair. Slowly detangling her hair from the child's grip, Tanya nodded for Aarav to open his arms and she slowly placed the baby in his arms, moving her closer to his chest. "You won't drop her," she reassured before turning away. She couldn't be here, not when this intimacy, this baby situation made her crave for a reality like this with Aarav. It was especially easy to imagine it considering that the mother had fled.
Aarav made a face before watching the way his daughter had grabbed hold of Tanya's hair. He'd been about to loosen her tight baby grip when he watched Tanya do the same. He ended up doing as she asked and opened his arms, surprised at how easily the little baby girl fit into his arms, while he looked at Tanya in that same surprise. "I guess--I just needed some help and encouragement," he whispered, not wanting his daughter to react to loud voices when she'd finally calmed down. He was rocking her gently in his arms, not at all surprised at the way her eyes seemed to close before he noted how Tanya had turned away. Carefully he moved to the other side so she was forced to face him and his daughter. "What's going on?" He asked quietly before sighing once he realized. "You're probably annoyed that this was why I'd suddenly resurfaced and called you right? What did Raina call me that one time--matalabi dost right?" He hadn't meant to be, but he supposed he'd started taking Tanya for granted very early on in life and it had never been fair to her, but she'd also never said anything to him about it either.
Tanya chuckled, staring at the floor. He may be standing in front of her but he couldn't force her to look up at him, not when he was holding that baby and Tanya's overactive imagination knew no bounds. She shrugged her shoulders. "Raina was just trying to look out for me," she mumbled, more to herself than anything and it was true. No matter what harsh words Raina flung, they were almost always for Tanya's benefit - even if she didn't listen. "You're my best friend Aarav, tum mujhse matlab kyun nikaloge?" Except he would; he had been taking her, her love and everything Tanya was for granted ever since they were little because of this best friend title she had been bestowed. Finally looking up, Tanya focused her gaze on the baby rather than the father, her fingers slowly trailing against the child's cheek. "Do you know what you want to call her?"
Aarav was surprised when her words defending Raina stung him. He'd regarded Tanya as the person he was closest to, but that didn't mean she'd feel the same way and perhaps all his bad selfish behavior had finally pulled her away from him. He nodded at her words, not really knowing what to say because he didn't agree. He'd been selfish and Tanya had still stuck by him, not even chiding him for anything once. But the fact that she'd still called him her best friend made him realize that maybe things hadn't changed for either of them. His gaze remained on her though even when she continued looking down at his little girl. Her question, though, stumped him. Because while he was in marketing, thinking of countless catchphrases and names for the characters in his mini stories, right now with his daughter in his arms--he was blank. "I don't--know. Tumne kuch socha hai? Like I know, a lot of girls plan their future kids names, so I don't want to steal yours, but I'm sure you'll think of something better than I could."
Tanya bit down on her bottom lip, giving a helpless look to the sleeping baby. This was like her best dream and worst nightmare all rolled into one; how many times had she had the exact same dream? Well not the exact same dream, considering in her dreams she was the mother and her and Aarav were married. "Ahaana," Tanya blurted, her eyes widening as she kept her gaze locked on the baby's. Of course her reasoning had always been that since Aarav's name had three a's in it, she would want her daughter to have almost the identical number too. "But I mean," she finally looked up at him, praying that she didn't look like some lovelorn idiot, "it's your choice. Your baby, you name it what you want na." A weak laugh to cover up how she had become overly invested in this dreamland of hers.
Aarav didn't realize the turmoil he was putting her through. Perhaps if he did, he wouldn't have been quite so adamant on torturing her this way. But he didn't know, and for him this was normal and he was just being a normal friend with his best friend. But when he heard the name drop from Tanya's lips, while she continued staring at his daughter who was looking back at Tanya with a strange fondness, he knew it was the perfect name. "Ahaana," he repeated with a smile before looking back at Tanya who was attempting to pretend like she wouldn't mind if he didn't choose the name she suggested, but he loved it. "No, that's her name. Ahaana," he whispered before leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead. Everything else was secondary, like how he'd need to get a crib, a changing table, diapers, formula, clothes, a stroller. All of that was important but it came after. Right now, this moment of his daughter looking up at him, (and Tanya), and smiling was the most precious moment he'd experienced. The funny thing was--he'd never expected to feel this way, at least not in the circumstances that led him here. A one-night stand with a woman got him a baby girl that was going to change the entire future he'd planned for himself. "But Tanya, mujhe kuch nahi pata, what all I'll need, and I can't go shopping with her without a car seat, like--I need you. We'll make Rohan babysit or something, and you'll come with me right? To get Ahaana's things?"
Tanya wished Aarav knew that she could never say no to him; not in a million years. And especially not when he was looking at her with those big, hopeful eyes that looked eerily similar to his daughter's. She shook her head, looking down at the ground with a laugh. "Sure, I'll go shopping with you." Tanya jerked her head to the door where the snoring was coming from and raised an eyebrow at him. "Who's going to poke the kumbhkaran?" She surveyed the apartment with a sigh, but except for the bassinet there was nothing that had arrived with the baby. "We have a lot of work to do."
Aarav couldn't stop the smile on his face from growing considerably at her agreeing to go with him. He was actually that thankful. "God, you're saving my life for probably the hundredth time," he laughed before shaking his head at her comment. "Woh mera kaam hai," he looked at her for a second before holding Ahaana out towards her. "Can you take her for a few seconds, I think she's about to drift off to sleep so hopefully Ro ke liye zyaada difficult nahi hoga." He caught the way Tanya was looking at him and sheepishly smiled. "Yeah okay, who am I kidding? He's going to be a mess. Can't wait for this." He mock saluted her before bursting into the other room and jumping on his best friend's bed, quite thankful that the man had stopped his habit of sleeping in the nude. "Rohan, I need your help. Your brother needs you. Uth na?" He shook the man before groaning rather loudly. "What if it was a matter of life or death?" Rohan made a much louder yawning noise before lowering the covers from his face. "If it were a matter of life or death, you'd never call me. Uske liye teri Tanya hai."
Tanya let out a breath she'd been holding when Aarav disappeared to Rohan's room. She took a seat on the couch, Ahaana snug in her arms. "Now remember Ahaana, we don't like Rohan," she whispered, shooting a glare in the direction of the bedroom where she could hear noises. Rohan Chopra had been one of her tormentors all through high school and college - always making fun of her weight, of her closeness to Aarav and even her crush on him. Apparently it was obvious to everyone but the man himself. She cooed at the baby asleep in her arms before slowly standing up, fingers crossed and lay her in the bassinet. Smoothing down her dress, Tanya exhaled slowly and rubbed at her eyes. How did she even manage to get herself in this mess? First thing was first, she needed to know how old this baby was. Grabbing the letter once again, she scanned it for more clues. Six months, Ahaana was six months old. That was six months of her life that Aarav had missed and Tanya's heart ached for him: to be thrust into the role of a father when he so clearly was unprepared had to be tough. A glance at the clock and Tanya cleared her throat, "Aarav, come on. We're going to be late!"
Aarav had ignored Rohan's comment about Tanya, especially considering the fact that it was true. He would always depend on Tanya if the situation was serious--Rohan was his friend for all the fun idiotic times. But right now, he did need to get Rohan out of bed so that he could get going with Tanya and actually feel a little prepared for his new venture into fatherhood. He heard her words and winced before finally pulling Rohan up while standing on the bed himself. "Rohan Chopra, tu abhi ke abhi nahi utha na--maa kasam, main saare locks badal doonga ghar ke, and you'll be left out in the cold." That thankfully helped and got the other man up and out of his bed. "Fine! Where's the fire?" And that's when Aarav had to launch into exactly what happened this morning and how Ahaana had just made her entrance into their life. Rohan tugged on a robe before he made his way out of his bedroom, his eyes locked on Tanya's while he grinned. "So--Aarav, tune bataya nahi. Readymade bachi ke saath, readymade Maa bhi aagayi." Aarav rolled his eyes at Rohan before looking apologetically at Tanya. "I'm sorry about him and his dumbass self. Listen, I'll just shower and come." And with that Aarav ran towards his room and rushed into the shower, praying that when he came back out--there were no casualities outside.
Tanya immediately stared down the second she heard Rohan's comment. To Aarav of course it may have seemed as a dumbass remark, but Tanya knew exactly why Rohan had said it - to get under her skin. She could only watch Aarav disappear into the shower like a hurricane, all her protests dying in her throat. Tanya crossed her arms, standing as far away from Rohan as possible. "When are you going to give it up Tanya? First you lose weight for him, next thing you know he'll be popping your cherry." Tanya gasped, his crude statement stung - especially considering that she had never been that far with a man anyways and maybe she did kind of wish it was with Aarav. "Rohan, shut up. Kam se kam, I thought that maybe you grew up but I was wrong." Her own retort was weak, and Rohan knew it too the way he was grinning at her. "Sad isn't it? You're ready to fill in as the mother, and yet the baby isn't even yours. Just like Aarav isn't." Tanya shut her eyes, her fist clenched and jaw wired shut. She had been this close to raising a hand when she heard the shower stop and instead pulled away from Rohan entirely, busying herself in the kitchen so she could get a glass of water.
Aarav had tried to rush his shower as much as humanly possible before slipping on a pair of jeans and a white button-down shirt, deciding it was good enough for a shopping trip. Aarav Roy had never enjoyed shopping, and something told him that now, with all the things involved in babies and their daily lives--he was going to hate it even more. He made his way out of the bedroom, Ahaana sound asleep in the bassinet while Rohan lounged on the couch, watching the television while watching the baby every three seconds. "Tanya kahaan gayi?" Rohan shrugged before gesturing to the kitchen and so he ended up going there, knowing that something had transpired between the two people he was closest to. He found her standing by the sink, her gaze staring out the window. "Usne iss baar kya kiya?" He gently put a hand on Tanya's shoulder before turning her around to face him, but of course, she wouldn't look at him, her gaze level with his neck instead. And so he kept two fingers underneath her chin before tilting her face up slightly. "I'm sorry."
Tanya shut her eyes when he tilted her face up to look at him. She wished he wouldn't apologize, not when everything Rohan said was true. Perhaps that was why it hurt so much, because Tanya knew it was the truth. Rohan had always been telling her the truth since high school: she had been chubby, she had been annoying, she had been unpopular, and most importantly she had been in love with her best friend who only saw her as just that. Tanya shook her head, letting out a shaky breath. "It's fine, it's just Rohan na? Bolta rehta hai woh, uska kaam hi hai," she tried to reassure but her jaw wobbled as she spoke. "Anyways, I think that we should get going. We don't want to have a situation and have no diapers handy."
Aarav frowned when he saw her shut her eyes and wondered how bad it must've been that she was closing her eyes. But when she pulled away from him, he merely sighed and backed away leaning against the countertop as he listened to her. "I know it's just Rohan, but I still don't think he should..." Aarav trailed off considering Tanya decided to change the topic and mention the shopping. "I mean, I don't know Tanya, a situation should happen while Rohan's taking care of her." He was only kidding, considering he couldn't let his baby deal with that even if it'd be fun to punish Rohan that way. "Chalo, besides we've both got a lot to catch up on," and waving a quick goodbye to Rohan, he led Tanya outside to his garage where his motorcycle from college was parked along with his Toyota Corolla. "I'd ask you which one, but considering all the stuff we have to get..your motorcycle ride will have to wait." Winking at her, he remembered all their days back then where she'd be fully petrified of riding on his bike with him and falling off even when he tried to reason with her and tell her it wouldn't happen and he wouldn't let her get hurt.
Tanya rolled her eyes again. "I think I'll live Roy, probably a long and healthy life." She glared at the bike with disdain before sliding into the passenger seat of the Corolla. Tanya patted at the interior, shifting on the seat slightly. "Did you get the inside changed?" Last Tanye remembered, the backseat had a nasty bloodstain from the time Aarav had practically torn the entire skin off his knee from some biking adventure and a panicked Tanya had driven him to the hospital. She leaned back in her seat, scrolling through her phone for the items they would need. The less they talked, the better it would be; maybe this time Tanya would be able to control her feelings for him. It seemed highly unlikely though, considering how even in this small space - she felt charged with electricity.
Aarav had to laugh when he noticed her glaring at his motorcycle. These were the little quirks about her that he loved so much. She was actually acting as if his bike was a live thing with feelings, not some object. Still, once they were seated and he drove out of the garage, he heard her comment and nodded. "I had to," he glanced at her for a moment, remembering how that was yet another time when he could've called Rohan for help but the other man would've just laughed--under the impression that Aarav was joking or pulling some prank and not have come to help him. That's why he'd called Tanya, and remembering her entire reaction had made him wonder just how much she cared about him. He watched her on her phone and frowned. "Sorry madam, there are no phones allowed in his vehicle." Taking it from her hand, he kept it inside his cupholder, giving her a cheeky grin. "Talk to me na, it's been so long since we've spent time together."
Tanya protested, reaching for her phone when he pulled it away from her. "Aarav," she whined, trying to reach for the phone but it was too far from where she was sitting for her to reclaim, "I was going through the baby shopping list." At his words however, she melted; it was true, this was probably the first time in six months they had hung out. She couldn't let it show though, not when she felt like a fool. She'd lost all this weight, hoping that Aarav would suddenly realize that it was her - she was the girl of his dreams. But no, he was a dhil phek aashiq, falling in love with every single girl he met even if they didn't deserve him. "Nothing's been going on ya, my life isn't as exciting as yours. I gave the LSATs, got a 170 and now I guess I'm in law school. Tu suna, koi ladki hai kya?" The words even pained her to think about, but she was Tanya Sen - Aarav Roy's best friend. Not Tanya Sen, the girl helplessly in love with her own best friend of ten years.
Aarav loved the way she'd whine when he was being annoying to her. It always reminded him of a tiny kitten or puppy who had their favorite toy taken from them. He obviously kept the phone away still before approaching a red light and turning to listen to her talk about her life. "That's so exciting Tanya, you're going to be a lawyer. Do you remember jab tum choti thi? And you didn't think you'd be able to stand in a courtroom and argue? And now look at you." Aarav was genuinely proud of her and her accomplishments, both academically and personally, but he didn't want to be that asshole who pointed out her weight loss unless she wanted to. But of course now he was definitely going to convince her to work out with him; he really liked company in the gym for some reason. When Tanya asked about a girl in his life, though, he laughed. "Yeah, there's this girl. She's the assistant to the CEO for the company I'm designing a campaign for. But it's mainly just coffee meetings discussing work so far." And really, not that he was a father all of a sudden, he didn't think she'd want anythingto do with him. "What about you? Any boyfriend I need to approve of?" He'd never had the chance thus far, but he'd always joked about it with her--that whenever she found someone, he'd have to go through Aarav Roy first.
Tanya burst into a genuine laugh, remembering the moment. "And your mom would give him her black silk robe so I could walk around and pretend to be a lawyer, that entire summer I ran around yelling Order, order." She shut her eyes, leaning back into the seat, a small smile on her face. Oh if only she could go back to those days; everything made so much more sense back then. Back then, she still believed in that best friends trope and sincerely believed that Aarav would ask her to prom, that they would get married in the small temple near their house. Of course, flash forward to the future, they no longer lived with their parents and he was once again telling her about some other girl. "Take it slow okay? I don't want you to get hurt again," she whispered, her hand reaching to hold his over the gear shaft. And if a spark of electricity ran through her veins, none would be the wiser. Letting her hand fall away, Tanya looked down shyly. "Why do you ask when you know the answer is always the same? Mujhe kaun date karega? And either way, mujhe koi interest bhi nahin hai kisi main..." She turned her head slightly to look at Aarav from her periphery, her heart racing.
Aarav nodded at her words, remembering how he'd sometimes stay behind Tanya so he could hold the ends of the black silk robe to keep her from falling flat on her face after tripping over it. They'd been such crazy kids but he was thankful for all those moments considering it's what helped keep them together so many years later. He heard her words, and felt her hand on his own and turned to her for a second before diverting his eyes back to the road. "I know Tanya, don't worry. I won't rush into things." But as always, Aarav was lying to himself. He had already planned a future that was only going to be sidetracked now considering he had Ahaana in his life. At her answer though, he shook his head. "Tujhe kaun date nahi karega? You're such a great girl, and you're so beautiful. Plus--you know the best thing about you? Teri honesty." And he was telling the truth, and he didn't know why Tanya chose to keep to herself and not really show any interest in anyone.
Tanya felt like screaming. Then why won't you date me? Her heart pounded in her chest, and she shut her eyes, trying not to let her insanity get the best of her. "You're the only person who thinks so Aarav," she murmured, her hand on his once more. She'd seen him go through girls, and girls go through so quickly. So many times she'd wish he would just look at her one day and realize that the reason all those other girls left was because he was meant to be with her, but that would never be a reality. "Seriously, promise me you won't dive headfirst into it. This always happens to you. You fall way too quickly, and way too hard and then they don't and it ends up ruined. You have a baby to think about now too." There it was; the divide that Tanya wanted to create between them; it would remind her of her limitations.
Aarav had to smile when her hand on his, but he hated that soft sad tone in which she spoke. He may have been the only one to think so in her mind, but he knew here were probably plenty of men around her who found her amazing, but were also probably intimidated by her too. The only reason Aarav wasn't, was because at the end of the day--he'd known her when she was a cute little girl who loved watching sappy romantic comedies, but that was something she probably still did anyways. He looked at her when she spoke, the seriousness finding it's way into their conversation. "I promise," he whispered before shrugging. "Aur agar iss baar ladki khud first move kaare toh?" But at her comments about his baby, he just sighed and shrugged, not sure what he could say to her because he was worried about this too, how was he supposed to find someone who'd want to live with him or marry him now that he has a little baby girl?
Tanya shook her head. "Not even then Aarav, tum pehle first move karo, ya woh kare - end main toh kisi na kisi ka dil toot ta hain and from experience, we both know that its been you." She squeezed his hand gently, knowing that her words were a little on the harsher side but sometimes she really needed to bring it so that Aarav would understand. She was only trying to help him, nothing else.
Aarav frowned at her before shaking his head. "I know, but like--agar inn sab mein se koi meri--hmm, what if she's my future wife? Then what should I do?" Still, he knew that Tanya was completely right. He did tend to fall for every woman he met and felt attracted to, but he didn't ever realize any of that at the actual time when he was falling for any of the women he'd be with. He supposed that was his problem, that he basically just took everything at face value and when he was falling--he couldn't really pay attention to anything else. But this time was different, he had a little baby to think about--so no woman would really be able to come to terms with that, especially when he was barely managing it himself. Once he parked at the store, though, he forced a happy smile on his face and took Tanya's arm, hooking it through his own, "here's your phone back. Now help." he chuckled before grabbing a cart with his free hand, not yet relinquishing hs hold on her.
Tanya tried to ignore the flutter that ran through her when he looped his arm around her own and out of instinct, she rested her head on his shoulder. They always seemed to fit just perfectly. If only Aarav could see that too; if only for once he saw her as Tanya, not as his best friend Tanya - she knew that he would understand. He had to; they were perfect together. She had been using her free hand to scroll through her phone when a sales assistant came up to them. "Hi! Is there anything I can help you two with today?" Tanya smiled, glancing down at her phone. "We're just looking for some baby essentials: diapers, a changing station, crib, all those things." The sales assistant's expression changed into something much brighter, a fear settling in Tanya's stomach. "Oh, is this your first child? You two make the loveliest couple, the baby section is right here - let me lead you two to it." Tanya sputtered, her heart nearly stopping at the assumption the woman had made.
Aarav had to smile when he felt her rest her head against his shoulder. It reminded him of all the times they'd be like this during high school, every time he'd be crying about some girl or the other and she'd be consoling him. Plus right now, she was doing it again without even realizing it. He looked up at the sales assistant who'd come up to them, about to talk about his baby girl when Tanya answered for him, leaving him smiling and looking down at her fondly. He heard her words and laughed but didn't bother correcting her considering it didn't matter what this random woman thought and besides explaining it to her would take too long and they were on a timeline. "Lead the way, we're just so excited," he looked at Tanya who was looking up at him curiously but merely shrugged before giving her a subtle wink and squeezing her hand gently. "We do look like we're expecting our first baby after all."
Tanya wished that he hadn't done that, especially when he didn't know how his words, his actions and that stupid wink did to her. Tanya could only nod, a mess of stutters and fumbles and not for the first time that day did she wish that this entire scenario could be real. She nudged him with her hip, laughing as he stumbled. "Why are you flirting me, idiot? Teri lines mujhpe kabhi nahin chalne wali." Oh if only he knew the truth.
Aarav chuckled at her reaction while they looked around the dozen or more strollers. "I'm sorry, itne dino se tujhe dekha nahi na, so it's all coming out. And I can't very well flirt with the sales girl when she thinks I'm here with the mother of my baby." He'd said the words and then frozen because it sounded so good. Tanya as the mother of his children. If Aarav was honest, he'd admit to how he'd always thought they'd let their childhood of playing 'house house' come true. But Tanya had firmly slotted herself into the best friend side, and Aarav was perhaps a bit too much of a conceited image conscious asshole to think otherwise. "What do you think about this?" It was a high tech looking stroller, one that even had a docking station to charge the phone while you're out with your baby. "Whoa--but this price? What are they asking for the price for three strollers or something?" He tilted it for Tanya to see, his own eyes still wide with realizing just how expensive this shopping trip was going to be.
Tanya froze at his words, blinking down at the floor because had he really said that? She definitely ignored how her heart had fluttered at the thought; this baby being theirs, him loving her the way she had always loved him. Tanya shook her head dispelling those thoughts and over at the stroller Aarav's attention had been captured by. She shook her head almost immediately. "It's not balanced enough. There's one big wheel at the end like a motorcyle and two small ones in the back, that's only going to make it uncomfortable for Ahaana when you take her out. You need something more reliable, more sturdy," she paused, biting on her bottom lip as she surveyed the stroller before taking the one that was a lot more conservative that he had picked in a dusty pink color, "something like this."
Aarav noticed what she meant, his eyes examining the large wheel and the smaller ones and nodding. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense." But when she found another one, he moved towards it, surprised at how instantly she'd chosen the right thing. It was mainly why he'd asked her to come along with him. Otherwise, he'd have picked some impractical items, expecting them to be okay only to endanger his daughter's life. "Thank god you're here," he smiled before embracing her once more. Only this time, he held on for a few seconds too long, allowing himself to inhale the soft floral scent that he'd grown to associate with her always. Once he managed to let go, he looked at her for a moment before clearing his throat and looking around the rest of the items they'd have to buy. "Yeh sab toh hum le lenge.. but what do I do with taking care of her? I have to work and I can't randomly apply for paternity leave or something.." He picked up a big packet of diapers and tossed it in the cart before looking at her.
Tanya exhaled when he wrapped her in his arms, and her own arms came around him, face buried in his shoulder. She breathed in his scent, that familiar musk she'd grown so accustomed to through all of college was still there. It gave her a sense of familiarity, her heart speeding up in her chest. When he pulled away however, Tanya looked down, coughing to clear the phlegm suddenly clinging to her throat. "I could--I could watch her on some days? I have a lot of evening classes... Only if you want me to of course, if you'd rather get a nanny or a caregiver, woh bhi theek hai." She groaned internally, wanting to bury her head in the sand to hide her exceptionally red cheeks. Why did you say that? Idiot.
Aarav had just picked a few onesies for his daughter when he heard Tanya's suggestion and actually found himself feeling completely relieved. "You'd--you'd really do that?" He took hold of both her hands in his own and shook his head at her words. "I'd rather Ahaana be taken care of people who are actually family." Wait, why had he said that? That sounded really strange. He remembered just how once her mother had suggested for Tanya to tie a rakhi to Aarav and they'd both vehemently refused because that was just incredibly messed up. "But you'd actually--God Tanya, you don't know how much that means to me. Because I don't entirely trust Rohan to--well, even right now is pretty dangerous to leave someone like him with a baby."
Tanya laughed, shaking her head when he took her hands in his. "Of course you silly man. I can't trust either of you to look after that baby by yourselves, you'd be completely lost." She turned to see some of the other shoppers gathering to see what the commotion was and cleared her throat, "Now get off your knees, everyone's starting to stare." Her cheeks felt hot again and she looked away from Aarav, pulling her hands away and moving further along the aisle to pick up some more essentials. What had she gotten herself into?
Aarav had noted how she often called Ahaana his baby, or the baby, but not by her name and it made him wonder if there was something she was choosing to keep hidden from him. He'd ask, but he knew Tanya well enough to know that she'd evade the topic and start discussing something else. Even now, he managed to get off his knees because of all the stares from the people around them, but his thoughts remained on how Tanya was reacting to this whole thing; it had been a lot better than he expected truthfully. Especially with how often she warned him against getting too close to the women in his life and now he'd ended up having a daughter thanks to his stupid decisions. He finally decided to follow her along the aisle, watching her pick up different things until something he'd seen in movies and shows clicked. "Tanya--what about, hum usse pilayenge kya? Babies still need their milk right? How am I supposed to?" He frowned before looking down at himself and then back at her. Even though, Aarav Roy was well aware of formula for babies, right now--his common sense had taken a bit hit.
Tanya stared at him, eyebrows furrowed before she followed his gaze to his chest and it hit her. Her own arms wrapped around her chest as her jaw dropped into a perfect little o. She sputtered, her cheeks flushed as she tried to get a semblance of a sentence out. Her tongue obviously did not comply and she spent a good few seconds stammering. "Aarav!" Tanya turned away from him, fanning her cheeks. "There's formula," she nearly screeched. "God, you're so-- so dumb." Tanya still couldn't believe that he thought she would... She shuddered, not even wanting to think about it. Why? her conscience prodded, didn't you want children with Aarav? If Ahaana was your baby you certainly wouldn't have this reaction. Tanya shut down her conscience, muttering to herself as she continued down the aisle, putting more things into a shopping cart wich was equipped to hold much less.
Aarav hadn't even been looking at Tanya in that lewd way, considering the way she wrapped her arms around her chest. "Oh c'mon." He was about to say something more when he heard her words and covered his face. He was such an absolute idiot. He knew about formula, of course, he did. There were so many kids out there who actually had to grow up without mothers, or the ones whose mother's could give them milk; why was he acting like such a complete idiot? He nodded at her words before covering turning to face her. "I'm sorry, I know I am. It's my first time okay." He frowned before following her down the aisle. "Sorry, I didn't meant to be such an ass.." he murmured before looking around at the things she was picking up.
Tanya was still reeling from the fact that her best friend was still as dumb as she remembered, and the fact that this dumb idiot was a dad now to hear his apology. She continued walking down the aisle, before turning to look at Aarav. She wanted to ask him if he was thinking of getting any sort of decorations for the spare bedroom in his house, which would now obviously be Ahaana's nursery. Instead, she found her face mere millimeters from his and her breath caught in her throat. She swallowed thickly, eyes meeting his. "I--I..." Tanya moved back, clearing her throat. "I was wondering if you wanted to get decorations and paints for the spare bedroom, you'll turn that into a nursery right?"
Aarav honestly wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. How could he have said something so idiotic? He was seriously so stupid for saying something like that. He was not at all fit to be a father if he would say such stupid things? What was he supposed to teach Ahaana if this was how dumb he was? She didn't acknowledge his apology and for a moment, he wondered if he'd screwed everything up. What if now she decided she didn't want to come and help him with Ahaana because her best friend was such an absolute idiot? But he was in these thoughts when she'd turned and he actually had to reach out to grasp her waist to steady her until she backed away. He heard her words and grinned when he remembered the time Tanya had been the one helping him paint his old high school bedroom, it had been a teal color (until he got sick of it and went with gray instead). "Aw yeah, maybe like some flower design? Or princess? That's something girls like right?"
Tanya could still feel the tingle running through her at where his hand had been at her waist, grasping it ever so gently and suddenly Tanya regretted this crop top for the expanse of skin it showed. She exhaled shakily before nodding. "Yeah girls like that," Tanya teased, letting out a soft chuckle. She seriously needed to screw her head on right, to get her priorities in order. This was Aarav; he was her best friend; he had always been her best friend and she couldn't ruin that. He had a child now which definitely meant that he would never develop any feelings for her. It was her own tough luck that she had fallen for the one person you'd expect fell right back in love - except Aarav hadn't.
Aarav gave her a small smile, not yet sure that their entire awkwardness from before was done. He still felt like she was pissed at him for what he'd said, and he didn't blame her. "Okay princesses, I wonder where we'd find that type of thing--" and right as he said it, he saw everything pink and princessy. He made a face before looking back at her, finally working up the nerve to hold her. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and tugged her in, not missing how perfectly she fit snugly into his side. "I'm sorry for being an ass and an idiot. I'm lucky to have you huh? At least Ahaana ke paas koi toh hoga jo usko sahi tarah se sab kuch sikha sake?"
Tanya leaned into his touch out of instinct, and shut her eyes at his words. She smiled when she felt his lips at her hair and sighed, "I've been your best friend for years Aarav, I knew what I was getting into and yes, you are. Tumhe meri kadr karni chahiye, kya pata ek din tum dhoondo aur main na hoon," she teased, even though she knew it wasn't true; there would never be another boy for Tanya. She'd never had eyes for any other man except for the one in front of her right now. "And hey, she'll have you too. You can teach her a lot of things. It's a team effort, and we're the best team around Aarav Roy."
Aarav should've passed a reflective surface, if he had--he'd know just how perfect the pair of them really looked together. But there was no reflective surface around and so instead, he just smiled down at her. "Kadr? Main toh tumhari kadr karta hoon," but the truth was--he didn't. He was a selfish best friend to her and while he knew she'd deserve better if he let go of her--he couldn't do that. He needed her too much. "Aisa agar hoga na--toh pata nahi mera kya hoga zindagi mein." He whispered before remembering the time back in college where he'd been dealing with one of his other breakups, and had ended up telling her just how much he needed her and always would. "We are the best team of course, but I don't know--after this little mistake, I'm worried I'll only teach her the dumb things."
Tanya looked at her reflection again, wondering if maybe the open hair, blown out was too much. She knew she was dressed normally, or at least dressed enough that Rohan wouldn't try to make a joke about how she was dressing up for Aarav. Running her comb through her hair, Tanya pulled her hair into two braids instead before slipping into her shoes and rushing to Aarav's apartment. Delhi traffic this time of day was minimal, which meant she could go on the Metro and not get groped. "Hi," she whispered, taking Ahaana in her arms. "Did Ahaana miss me?"
Aarav didn't know how the week had gone by but now it was like a full week later and was still finding it hard to believe that he was a father to a little six-month-old baby girl. But if he was honest--Ahaana had turned out to be the greatest thing in his life. He'd see her in the mornings, which really was her favorite time of the day, and then he'd come home just when she'd be waking up from her nap and would get to spend ample time with her. He, of course, owed a lot of credit of this transition to Tanya who'd helped him make their apartment into a proper home for his little girl. It was with these thoughts that he'd gotten up that morning, surprised that he wasn't greeted by Ahaana's cries when he stepped into the nursery clad in just his plaid boxers while holding a mug of black coffee. But that's when he saw Tanya there in the rocking chair holding his little cooing baby girl in his arms.
Tanya hummed a soft lullaby to Ahaana, who had since then descended into a perfect sleep and she could only smile. Her own eyes were slightly droopy considering the early hour she'd popped into the house for her shift. Tanya continued rocking the chair, the baby snug in her arms when she looked up to the sight of Aarav. "Hey," she whispered, her voice soft and hoarse. She swallowed thickly at the sight of him in all his glory, and thought, what would not be the only time today, damn she really wanted to kiss him.
Aarav leaned against the door frame as he watched her hum her little lullaby to Ahaana before she looked up at him. "Hi," he whispered back, absolutely forgetting how he was still in only his boxers in front of her. Stepping inside, he held his mug in front of her. "Want some coffee? I mean this is black, which I remember you liked in college, lekin abhi tastes change hue hai ya nahi?" He continued speaking quietly, to ensure his daughter didn't wake up when she was so perfectly sound asleep.
Tanya gave Aarav a sleepy smile before shaking her head. "Nahin badle." How could they, when she had been in love with Aarav her entire life? Everything she associated with him: black coffee, sunrises, shooting stars, and everything Tanya loved would always be her habit. Carefully manuevering her arm, Tanya accepted the coffee and reminded herself that she was not so juvenile, that drinking from the same mug of coffee didn't mean she was 'kissing' him. "How'd you sleep?" Her voice too was soft, as she kept her gaze on the baby in her arms, taking a sip from the mug.
Aarav could tell Tanya was exhausted too and felt the pang of guilt at making her spend her free time over at his place, babysitting his daughter because Ahaana's own mother decided to be selfish and leave her on Aarav's doorstep. He wanted to perch himself on the rocking chair and sit over Tanya but that would be weird, and very awkward considering it would rock and he'd fall over. Too early to make rational decisions apparently. Instead, he stepped closer to her, handing her the coffee, watching as she took a sip before handing it back to him. Aarav shrugged before reaching in to press a soft kiss to Ahaana's forehead. "I don't know, I feel really tense lately." And it wasn't just because of this new arrangement with his brand new baby girl, it came from his job as well. Which was primarily why Aarav spent majority of the time attempting to massage his own neck--and failing.
Tanya sighed as she watched Aarav trying to massage his neck, his arm in the weirdest contortion. "Alright, sit down," she ordered, nodding for him to seat himself in the space in front of the rocking chair. While he did that, Tanya slowly got out of the rocking chair and placed Ahaana in her crib, making sure to put her stuffed elephant next to her and watching with a fond smile at the way the baby grabbed at it even in her sleep. Returning to her seat, Tanya cracked her fingers before pressing down on Aarav's shoulders. "How's work been? You seem so-- wound up." Her hands worked at kneading his muscles, feeling him loosen up under her touch.
Aarav stared at her in surprise when she told him to take a seat but did as asked. He watched from that spot on the floor the way she kept Ahaana in the crib before smiling at the way his daughter reached for the adorable stuffed elephant. "She's so assertive na?" He looked at Tanya before she came and sat down behind him. He was mildly aware of how he was virtually naked except for his boxers the exact second he felt her hot fingers against his skin. "Whoa--fuck, this feels great." He kept his voice quiet not wanting to alert his daughter before realizing he shouldn't have sworn in front of her. "Work--I've got this really hard contract coming up," he murmured before leaning into her, aware of how her legs were right pressed up against his arms, both of them being extremely close.
Tanya swallowed when she felt his back press against her legs, the way she could feel his muscles contract and relax underneath her touch all served to render her very... flustered. She hummed at his words, focusing on the massage rather the very hot boy in front of her, the same boy she had been hopelessly in love with since god knows when. "Yeah? What's it about? And besides, I'm sure that you'll ace it. You'll always do." Good, that's good. Straight, solid conversation. No shaky tones, her conscience encouraged and Tanya exhaled slowly, wondering how she always managed to get herself in these situations.
Aarav honestly didn't know how to admit to it, but having his muscles massaged by Tanya, was very close to the highest pleasure he'd ever experienced. He had to stop moaning though considering how Ahaana was still sleeping in this very room. And of course, babies happened to be the lightest sleepers around. "It's a campaign about marketing this new perfume line, but none of the boards I've designed seem enticing enough," he murmured before taking hold of one of Tanya's hands from his shoulder and tugging her down. What was he doing? He knew she'd had to lean over to get closer, and had just turned to the side he felt her hair tickle his naked back and realized just how close they were. Aarav was about to do something he hadn't thought he would've ever--but leaning in had seemed right. But before he could--the nursery door opened and Rohan stood there, causing them both to break apart.
Tanya shut her eyes when she felt him leaning in, but the sound of footsteps forced her to jerk back as if he'd burned her with acid. It was then the realization hit; she had been about to kiss Aarav Roy. Tanya looked up at Rohan who only had some form of pity in his eyes for her and she immediately dropped them again before standing up. "Right, I'll uh--I'll make breakfast or something and then you can get to work so me and Ahaana... so we can get to our class." "What class is this Tanya?" Rohan's voice echoed and there was a vicious smirk on his features, one which promised no good. "A mommy and me class," she let out in a soft whisper before pushing past both Aarav and Rohan to disappear into the kitchen. She leaned against the kitchen countertop, her heart still racing in her chest. Her fingers fluttered to her lips; they had been so close, so close.
Aarav still didn't know what he was doing. He'd just felt something flutter in his stomach while her fingers worked their magic on his shoulders, and for a second, he just wanted her close. The warmth he was getting from her was too hard for him to ignore. But when Rohan walked in and Tanya pulled away completely he felt the strangest sense of almost rejection. He cleared his throat and stood as well, the now cold coffee mug in his grip. "Breakfast sounds great." He'd been about to ask about the class Tanya mentioned when Rohan beat him to it and so he waited to hear before watching her run out. A mommy and me class. That sounded so intimate and for a few moments, it made him want to forget how all of this had happened but he couldn't do that and that's why he was in the shower getting dressed for his day ahead, feeling ultimately so much more lighter than he had before thanks to her massage.
Tanya had already set the two plates of breakfast for Aarav and Rohan on the small table in the kitchen. She also had Ahaana in her high chair while Tanya tried to whip something up for lunch so that Aarav could take it with him to work. He had been complaining about how the food court in his office always served the most unhealthy options and so in addition to stocking up the fridge in his house, she was now cooking what she knew was his favorite daal, the rice already in the tiffin box. Directing her attention away from the stove, she smacked Rohan's hand with the spatula. "Hands off the pakoras, those go in the curry." Tanya was too busy feeding Ahaana her formula to notice Rohan surveying her, and the makeshift apron she'd made out of one of Aarav's old shirts. "Playing house again are we Sen?" She froze then, her back tensing. "I'm just helping around Rohan, something you should do more. Now your breakfast is also on the table, and don't worry I didn't poison it." She turned away from Rohan then, and with another sip of formula in Ahaana's mouth, the pressure cooker sounded its whistle and Tanya moved back towards the stove in a bustle, reaching for the plate of pakoras so she could put them in the pan to fry.
Aarav showered and changed into one of his suits for the big presentation he had to do today and was on his way to the kitchen when he heard the two of them going at it again. Of course, their voices were muffled so he couldn't hear exactly what they were saying but he knew they were arguing. He watched while Rohan moved to the kitchen table and decided to go into the kitchen for some orange juice and that's when he caught her in that apron she was wearing. "You look domesticated Sen," he smiled before moving around her, smelling whatever it was she was cooking on the stove. "This smells amazing," he murmured before moving to the dining table, laughing at the way his daughter was clapping her hands on the tray on her high chair.
Tanya rolled her eyes at his words but she faced the stove once more and the spatula was pressed to her lips, her cheeks turning a dusty pink. She cleared her throat before shaking her head. "Your breakfast is on the table. The way you like it, I took out the yolk from your hard boiled eggs and uh there's some poha in the container as well if you want any," she rambled, quickly shutting up and finishing her frying before dumping them into the kadhi. Taking the shirt off, Tanya used it to mop at the sweat on her brow before keeping it on the kitchen island. Turning off the stove, Tanya poured the kadhi into the tiffin, watching Aarav eat breakfast. How she desperately wanted for this to be her life.
Aarav had his ice cold glass of orange juice in his hand when he heard her begin to speak and smiled at everything she had to say. She knew him so well, that sometimes it surprised him. He didn't think anyone could know him that well to know that he didn't like the yolk in hard boiled eggs and that poha[/i was his favorite, just like the pakora wali kadhi that his mom made. "You're the best Tanya," he laughed before digging into the food she'd made him. If only he was paying attention to something other than shoveling food into his mouth, then he'd have noticed the looks Rohan was giving him, and the looks Rohan was passing to Tanya. But Aarav was as always--too consumed with one thought--and right now that thought was food.
Tanya watched as Rohan finished his meal and then disappeared back into his room, allowing Tanya to breathe a sigh of relief. She dipped the plates into the sink, ready to wash them when she heard Aarav's footsteps retreat and her gaze fell to the tiffin. "Suno," she called out, rushing behind him and it was only when he turned that she too stopped, chest heaving up and down. Tanya pressed the tiffin into his hands. "You were the other day that the food at the office wasn't that good, so I thought... you'd like some homecooked lunch today."
Aarav had finished his meal and was about to pick up his dishes when he realized just how late he was getting for work. He had just been about to go to his room to get his briefcase when he heard her calling out to him. Aarav turned around and raised his eyebrow waiting for her to speak until he caught the tiffin in her hand. He took it from her, looking down at it with a small smile. "You remembered?" He smiled before pulling her in for another hug. "You're the best because don't tell Rohan--lekin usse kuch banana nahi aata." Aarav didn't realize how it happened but Tanya had managed to wound herself into his life so easily that he didn't realize just how much he missed her.
Tanya was pretty sure that if he kept hugging her like this, she would either tell him that she's been in love with him since high school, or self combust. Self combustion seemed like the better option. She pulled away with a cough, her cheeks a bright pink. "You've got uh--" Tanya gestured to his shirt before sighing and moving in closer to adjust his tie. "Tumhari tie dheeli thi," she murmured, looking up at him, her grip still on his tie, her heart racing in her chest.
Aarav frowned when he heard her cough. She'd been doing that a lot lately and it was causing him a mild level of concern for her because he didn't want this seemingly normal cough to end up being something serious. But he saw her come closer and moved his hands away watching her try to fix his tie. It reminded him of the time he'd seen this with his own parents and couldn't stop the grin from growing on his face. He just hoped one day he'd have this with his own wife. "Acha chalta hoon, I'll see you when I get home." And without thinking about it, he leaned and pressed his lip to her forehead before heading out the door.
Tanya watched his retreating form, her forehead tingling from the way his lips had pressed ever so gently to her skin. The space was still warm and Tanya stepped backwards into the house, rushing to the kitchen when she heard the sound of Ahaana's cries. She sighed, rocking the baby in her arms. "I know Ahaana," she whispered. "I know." Tanya too felt like crying sometimes, especially with the way Aarav Roy made her feel. She was towelling Ahaana when Rohan entered the nursery, leaning against the doorframe. "You know you don't belong here right?" He took Tanya's non answer as a way to continue, "He'll find some girl, and then he'll kick you out of his life, just like he always does. Take my advice, bhaag le."
Aarav had walked into the house, absolutely knackered from his day at work but the moment he smelt the onions cooking and all that, he just paused in the kitchen. He could hear some random song playing on the radio and Tanya moving around in the kitchen, swinging her hips as she cooked and danced. He tossed his blazer and briefcase on the table before taking her free hand, thankful that she wasn't holding a knife or something else. He took her in his arms and swung her around, loving the surprised look on her face.
Tanya gasped when she was turned in his arms. She looked up into his eyes and the song died on her lips, breath caught in her throat. The song continued playing on the radio, its kab pyar ki pehli nazar dil le gayi le gayi taunting her. Because she knew the exact moment when she had realized she had been in love with Aarav. It had been her birthday: her sweet sixteen actually. Rohan had come to wish her but instead shoved her forward, causing her to fall headfirst into her cake. Tanya had run, horrified, disappearing into her treehouse. Soon after, Aarav had followed her up; in his hand he'd held a change of clothes and a cupcake sprinkler. That was when she'd fallen in love with Aarav Roy. "You seem like you're in a good mood," she murmured, dancing with him around the kitchen, completely aware of his hand on her bare waist, of the way it made her skin tingle.
Aarav had merely smiled at her while the two of them slow danced to what was actually a very peppy upbeat song. He knew it was silly, but he just felt like he'd only seen her smiling lately when she was holding Ahaana in her arms, otherwise she'd have a very solemn look on her face which had him very curious as to how everything was going with her classes. Aarav spun her out before tugging her back in, laughing quietly at how she seemed to crash into him. He ended up holding her at the waist again, this time guiding her hands to his neck as they swayed when he heard her comment and shrugged. "The meeting at work went well. They've decided to take our ad and run with it." And that to him was a job well done, he just prayed it meant that the next few campaigns he'd have to work on for this company were as easily dealt with. "Lekin tu bata, aaj kal maine notice kiya hai, tu badi khoyi khoyi aur shaant rehti hai, has anything happened? Is it--is the arrangement not working out anymore?"
Tanya felt her heart stop when she crashed into him; she could stay in this position forever. She could keep her head against his chest, listening to the steady sound of his heartbeat for the rest of her life. So when he started their dance again, she tried to hide the disappointment on her face. Her arms wound around his neck with ease as they swayed on the spot. It amused her that this was a fast song and yet they were dancing as if it was some romantic song on the set of a Dharama movie. "That's amazing." Her eyes lit up with excitement at his words; she had always loved hearing about him, about his job. "Me?" Yes Aarav, I can't be in this arrangment anymore, not when I feel myself falling even more in love with you every passing day. "Oh no, it's just that I have a big paper coming up and thinking about it stresses me out. These days I think law, I sleep law, I talk law, I even dream law."
Aarav smiled at her appreciation, he loved talking to her for this very reason. Tanya was the one person who always seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say. She'd always actually ask him questions about his job and what he was working on. Plus she was one of the best sounding boards he'd had. He'd be able to show her random roughs and she'd give him his best critique every time. "Yes you," he murmured before knocking his forehead against hers. He stopped their dancing before pulling her towards the table and sitting her down on the chair. "Listen, if you've got to focus on work, we'll figure something out for Ahaana, I don't want you to jeopardize your career for me.." But what Aarav didn't realize, was that Ahaana had come to mean a lot to Tanya, the same way she'd become the center of his world.
Tanya shook her head, taking her hands in his. "Aarav, suno," her conscience begged her not to say the words it was so afraid she was about to blurt, "Ahaana means the world to me." So do you. She cleared her throat then, playing with his fingers. "There's this Mommy, Daddy and me class tomorrow and I was wondering if you wanted to come?"
Aarav let her hold his hands, surprised at the warmth the single action was bringing to him. He nodded his head at her for speaking whatever she was thinking of. When she spoke, he found his heartbeat relaxing once more, she wasn't going to leave him. She'd stay for Ahaana. That was most important to him so he was just thankful that she wasn't planning on cutting this arrangement short. Lekin Aarav, yeh sab kab tak chalega? And for that, he had no answer. But his words were cut off when he heard her question, and he could actually feel his excitement building at the thought of joining Tanya and Ahaana at a class like this. "Of course, I want to come. But--um what happens in these classes normally?"
Tanya straightened her back before sliding down to sit on the floor with him, both of them hidden by the kitchen island. "Well, it's usually bonding with the baby and certain activities that the mothers partake in while the babies bond with each other. It's just a way for them to get to know other children, and for parents to share their stories." Tanya wouldn't tell him that every time she went to those classes she was always asked about a husband, especially considering that she signed her name as Tanya Roy fulfilling her dream as a young girl to be able to write that. She wouldn't tell him that everyone in the class thought they were married because there were rarely ever any single moms at this particular branch and Tanya wasn't about to divulge into the messy history that brought her and Ahaana together. This was her family though: Aarav and Ahaana were her family.
Aarav smiled at the way she slid down to be next to him, surprised at how comfortable and normal this felt. Of course, in the time they'd spent together it had become easier for Tanya and Aarav to go back into the way they'd been way back when just with the addition of Ahaana. He listened to her speak about the activities at the class before nodding along, deciding that initially, he'd probably be very excited just to get to spend this type of time and experience with Ahaana and Tanya. "Storytime could definitely be fun," Aarav already had a story to tell about the time Tanya had been bathing Ahaana in the morning and he'd been late to work and had come in, and had taken a shower while Tanya had been using the only tub in the house that was situated in Aarav's ensuite bathroom. He looked towards Tanya and smiled, "tomorrow's class is definitely going to be fun." But right as he was about to say something else, he'd heard his daughter's cry through the monitor and stood before helping Tanya up, not realizing his strength that had her crashing into him once more which had him settling her down before he grinned and went off to quiet his little daughter.
Tanya smiled at her own reflection, at the pale pink kurta she had paired with her rolled up blue jeans. She stared at the jhumkis all lined up on her dresser, hand hovering over the selection. Once again, her conscience reminded her that there was no reason for her to get so dressed up; it was just another Mommy and Me class, nothing special. Not even if Aarav was going to be there. Tanya decided on the last pair, the ones that looked a little worn, not even realizing that these were the ones Aarav had gifted to her at their Senior farewell. Digging her key to the Roy household out of her purse, she stepped into the apartment. "Come on we're going to be late." Of course it would have made much more sense for her to go before and let Aarav follow, because it would have avoided the awkward introduction. "Hey Tanya!" Radhika greeted with a wave, "Ooh, is this the elusive Mr. Roy? He's just as delicious as I thought." Tanya fought the urge to bury her face in her hands out of embarrassment. Of course when the woman called over Priya, it only got worse. "Oh Tanya, you finally brought your husband with you! Uff, you guys make just the cutest family ever." Tanya gritted her teeth, keeping her head down as she gave polite smiles to everyone; her heart raced however, swooping down to her stomach while she wondered what Aarav would think.
Aarav leaned over the bassinet he'd brought into his bedroom where Ahaana lay fast asleep. He'd fed her in the morning himself and then chosen to get ready for their special class together. He was going to tell Rohan but the man just hadn't ventured out of his bedroom yet this morning. Aarav headed into his closet and pulled out a pair of comfortable clothes, still under the impression that some of these classes involved physical activity. They were comfortable black pants with a graphic gray t-shirt and a black hoodie, it was a simple ensemble but it'd work. He'd heard her words and so he'd headed out of his bedroom, Ahaana's bassinet in his hand as he smiled at Tanya before leaning over to give her a quick hug. "You look nice by the way," and that's when he was so close to making a comment about her wanting to impress one of the guys there before realizing it was normally just a Mommy and Me class. Plus, Tanya wasn't like that. She was someone who was proud of who she was and wouldn't change for anyone else, at least that's how he perceived. Once the two of them arrived at the class, he'd been carrying Ahaana when he heard the comments from this woman who'd come over to Tanya and him. A grin was on his lips before he smiled at her. Aarav had been called delicious before; but never to his face. But then another woman came to greet them, and he held out his hand to her, smiling in surprise for a second at her comment. "We do, don't we? I got really lucky with Tanya honestly." He grinned before wrapping that free hand he'd held out to Priya, around Tanya's shoulders. Sure they didn't know the real circumstances but ultimately the truth was that he got lucky with Tanya and he didn't mind if everyone knew about it.
Tanya seemed to have miscalculated the real grievance of the situation. She had thought the teasing by the moms who had become her friends would be the worse, but now with Aarav's arm around her shoulder, his fingers brushing against the bare skin of her arm - this was much worse. This was torture. The smile on Tanya's face was much more wobbly, her breathing uneven and heartbeat erratic. If the blood rushing to her ears was so loud to her, she could only pray that Aarav didn't hear. She followed after him into the room where the class usually took place, every fibre in her being telling her this was a bad idea. There was still time, if she pulled her feet out of the pond now - she could still salvage herself. Yet she turned to see Aarav looking at her with those godforsaken big brown eyes and she knew she wouldn't. She would willingly drown. A sharp cough brought her back to reality and Tanya realized she'd missed most of the instructor's opening remarks. "Today, we're going to put the children aside for a while. Parents it's time we focus on you." Focus on you? What was that supposed to mean? Tanya's eyes widened as she looked around, trying to gauge a definition but it seemed everybody was equally clueless. She noted most of the wives holding their husband's hand and out of instinct her own hand went to Aarav's, intertwining their fingers. She didn't look at him in fear of a questioning gaze; if he asked, she was just trying to play the part. "After a baby, the sexual lives of parents and not only that but the emotional lives of parents are often jilted. Today's class is all about rediscovering and reconnecting with one another." That's it. It was final. Tanya Sen wanted to die.
Aarav noted how all the babies were being put down in various circular cribs, fit for at least four babies and one adult each and moved over there to set his daughter down. He didn't mind that this class was supposed to focus on him and Tanya, but he did find it rather strange considering he figured it was supposed to be centered around their baby. Their; he'd be doing that a lot lately. It was almost as if he'd forgotten that Ahaana wasn't Tanya's little girl by birth, but it didn't worry him as much. Aarav looked to his side, surprised at how Tanya had done the natural instinct that he'd wanted to as well. Feeling her fingers interlock with his own reminded him that while this was incredibly foreign territory, he had someone with him that was going through exactly the same thing. But the moment he heard that today's class was about rediscovering and reconnecting--he knew this was going to be exceptionally difficult. He noted how he and Tanya were the only two sitting with ample space between them while the rest were all almost meshed together. "Come closer," he whispered before shifting towards her so that they didn't stand out like a couple who were going through maritial problems while the rest were blissfully happy.
Tanya shut her eyes, reminding herself that this was all pretend. He didn't really like her, they weren't really married, and Ahaana wasn't her child. This mantra would be the only thing that would get her through this weekend. Still, she gave into his demands and shuffled closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder, her hand moving from his own to resting on his thigh. It's all pretend, she repeated in her head before Tanya fell even deeper down this rabbit hole. Although something told her it was already too late. "Now I want the both of you to face each other," the woman instructed and Tanya clenched her fists, fighting the urge to punch the woman. It wasn't her fault; she didn't know Tanya's real story, to her Tanya was just another mom, and Aarav was just another dad. She turned to face Aarav, giving him a weak smile. "Take each other's hands and just breathe each other in."
Aarav hadn't realized it at the time but this was incredibly intimate. He'd felt intimacy in the physical sense before but this was different. And he found himself really surprised by how much he liked it. Aarav listened to the instructions and turned around to face Tanya, holding his hands out for hers to place hers into once more. They were both seated on the floor which meant they were a bit far still, but--staring at her like this, all it did was remind him of the time when she'd given him that massage and he'd pulled her closer to himself, their faces right in front of each other, very close to doing something they'd regret. But right now--Aarav was wondering what that would feel like if he kept his hand on her cheek, pulled her in a bit closer, their breaths intertwining together. Clearing his throat, he gave her a smile as well before listening to the next instructions of how they were meant to rediscover their relationship.
Tanya made sure to keep her attention on the instructor and her words, instead of how close she was to Aarav and how it felt so intimate to be with him here, in this moment, like this. Of course, Rohan's words chose to echo in her mind at that very moment reminding her that none of this was real. None of this would ever be real. She would always just be his best friend, nothing else. Tanya exhaled slowly, keeping her gaze steady on their hands. "Now I want you to look into each other's eyes, to feel each other breathing, breathe with them, feel their heartbeat."
Aarav closed his eyes for a moment before blinking them open to lock on Tanya's instantly. He knew it wasn't part of the instructions but he kept rubbing the back of it to soothe both her and himself. "Hey," he murmured before smiling. "Keep looking at me." He didn't know how to feel the other's heartbeat, especially with this distance between them but then he could sense something he'd never felt before. Through her hands, staring into her eyes he really could feel her heartbeat, both of them entirely in tune with one another. "This is so--different." He didn't know why he was ruining it by speaking during their exercise but he was really surprised that this was happening.
Tanya could feel his heartbeat through his fingertips, and through that she felt an entirely different typ eof connection to him, one which she had never expected to feel. It set her very soul on fire, leaving her breathless. Of course when the instructor walked by them to hush them, Tanya burst into soft, breathless giggles. It was like college all over again, when he would try to whisper (she says try) to whisper to her and only end up getting caught by perhaps the most sadoo professor in the entire college. It only made sense that he would teach economics too. "Slowly move closer to each other, ladies place your hands on your partners thighs, daddies move your hands to her knees and continue to just breath each other in."
Aarav had to bit his lip to keep from laughing when he heard the instructor tell them to be quiet. He really always did fail at that, so this was really no surprise, but it was seeing the sparkle that was unique only to Tanya that made him feel like things were normal and yet so different between them. At her instructions though he nodded and gently tugged Tanya closer to his body, feeling her warmth even through her clothing. He shifted slightly when he felt her hands on his thighs though because of how unlike anything else it was. He'd absolutely never had Tanya do something like this, and it made him wonder just what was transpiring between them. But still, Aarav continued taking deep breaths, finding it harder to differentiate between Tanya his best friend, and Tanya the surrogate mother of his daughter.
Tanya shut her eyes when they moved closer to each other, his hands on her knees. There was a resurgence of blood in her body, her heart kickstarting into an unsteady, tumultuous rhythm and it took everything in Tanya not to kiss him. Of course, she looked away, looking anywhere but him but when she looked around, all the other couples looked so intimate and Priya and her husband were already kissing. She turned her attention away and looked back at Aarav, feeling warmth flowing through her. She timed her breaths with his, feeling a sense of comfort, of familiarity between them - nothing but their heartbeat, their breaths, and their clothes keeping them apart. But he was her best friend, nothing more. No matter if she was always over; if she fixed his tie in the mornings; if she made his lunch, or was there to have a cup of tea with when he came home in the evenings. It didn't matter that she had been in love with this man ever since she'd learned what love was. None of that mattered, because she was just his best friend, and a surrogate mother to his child.
Aarav could hear the sounds of different couples around them, the breathing becoming more shallow because they were all so involved with each other. When she kept looking at him, he really did feel his heart speed up in a way he hadn't yet experienced with Tanya. They may have been in a room filled with other people, but at the end of the day right now--all he saw was just Tanya in front of him. Everything about her brought him to a place he'd call 'near the lodge'. He never really knew how to connect with someone this intimately because whenever he was at this place, the women he'd be with--would never know how to react. But right now, Tanya was on the exact same page as him and perhaps that's what had him inch closer to her, his one hand raising from her knee to her neck, feeling the veins pulsating under his fingers.
Tanya inhaled sharply when she felt his hand rest against the side of her neck. She automatically fell compliant to his touch, leaning her head to the side so that his hand could reach up to her cheek. Her heart sped up at this interaction between them. Could it be-- Was he finally-- Was Aarav Roy finally falling in love with her too? Of course, her eversteady conscience butted in then, reminding her that maybe he was caught up in the moment. This was after all a very intimate exercise meant to be between two equals, two partners. Still, her own hand reached forward for his free one, intertwining their fingers as she shifted even closer to him, their knees practically touching. Even a chaste action like that one managed to send a jolt of electricity through Tanya.
Aarav watched her lean her head and his hand raised up to cup her cheek. Why was it so normal to be this way with her? Everything was new and different and he didn't know why, but he felt like it was entirely normal. When she took his hand, he smiled at her, inching closer to her wondering why he was feeling so--strange. It was complicated and Aarav knew that if he tried to explain this to anyone, they wouldn't understand. Tanya had been an important part of his life, always and now he was seeing her in a different way and it terrified him even though he felt so comfortable in this moment. He leaned closer to her, both their heads extremely close, their breathing mingled together. "T--Tanya," he didn't know why he was saying her name but he couldn't help it because he was almost terrified at the way he was about to lean in just a little bit closer and kiss her unless she stopped him. This would be--their first kiss if Tanya didn't pull away.
Tanya raised her hand to press her finger to his lips. She for one, could not believe this was happening. Of course, she would have hoped it was somewhere more romantic than a Mommy and Me session but this worked too. She shook her head, knowing that all she had to do was lean in a little further and they would be kissing. Her heart raced in her chest, a shudder going down her spine at the memory of what had happened the last time they had been in this situation, in this position. Tanya had only just closed her eyes again, leaning in slowly when the instructor cleared her throat. "And that's all the time we have today." Tanya jerked back from Aarav, her cheeks on fire as she realized what she had been about to do. She loved him sure, but for Aarav it had all been the heat of the moment. She knew he would have regretted it afterwards; and that would have killed her because it was all Tanya ever wanted and more.
Aarav felt her finger against his lips and looked up at her, wondering what was going on before he realized she was right in stopping him in her own way. But when he caught the way she closed her eyes he wondered if she was second thinking it and was about to lean in a bit more until the instructor stopped them from making the biggest mistake of their life. He untangled all their fingers and body parts from one another and shifted to look at the instructor. He couldn't do this, this was him taking advantage entirely of Tanya just because he hadn't been with someone in over two months. But if he was thinking clearly, he'd have known that his urge to kiss her stemmed from something else inside him, but right now the only thing in his mind--was guilt and regret. He wanted to apologize to her, he wanted to say that he didn't mean to do any of what he had, but this was a conversation best saved for when they were alone without all these people around them.
Tanya knew that she needed a break; she needed to stay away from Aarav for a few days. Even now as she looked back at him, her heart began palpitating again and she feared she would have a cardiac arrest. Tanya picked up Ahaana from her crib and placed her back in the bannister. "Hey baby girl, did you miss me?" At the baby's coo, Tanya only smiled. She liked children; at least they didn't play with other's feelings. Now every time she'd close her eyes, she would see Aarav in front of her, his face impossibly close to his - so close that she could feel his heartbeat. Tanya marched ahead, waiting for Aarav to follow as she sat in the car, placing Ahaana in her car seat.
Aarav stayed a few steps away from her while they walked out of the class, looking completely opposite to how they'd walked in. He'd been smiling, she'd been flustered and now he was frowning, while she was keeping herself occupied. This day, this class was meant to bring them closer together and yet for the two of them--it had just pushed them further apart. He watched her keep Ahaana in her car seat while taking his spot in the driver's side while waiting for her to take her seat on the passenger side but--Tanya chose to sit in the back with Ahaana, telling him in her own silent way how disappointed she was at his behavior.
Tanya avoided Aarav's gaze through the rearview mirorr, even though she could see him constantly looking at her through her periphery. Instead, she chose to play with Ahaana who seemed much more enthusiastic than normal; although that was probably because she had slept the entire time during the class. "Just like your baba," she murmured, tickling the baby's chin. Aarav too had an uncanny ability to fall asleep at the drop of a hat and to be even more enthusiastic after he woke up - making it an absolute nightmare to deal with. Of course when she mentioned the man in question, her own gaze flitted to the rearview mirror only for their eyes to lock. Tanya's heart kicked in its confines, but this time it was much more painful as if she knew she would never have him.
Aarav tightened his fingers around the steering wheel, trying not to focus on the words he could hear Tanya murmuring to Ahaana and instead Aarav tried listening to the radio he'd switched on. There were a lot of romantic numbers playing on all the different stations and that was the last thing he needed right now. Whenever he drove with Tanya next to him, his eyes flitted to her next to him without him even realizing it and even now--she was behind him but he kept looking up at her, surprised at when she looked up to meet his gaze. He wanted to ask her if she was okay, he wanted to ask her if she hated him for what he'd almost done but instead, he'd just smiled at her and looked back out on the street because he couldn't deal with that unreadable expression in her eyes.
Tanya looked up at the calendar in Ahaana's room, a wild little thing: covered in elephants and bright colors. It had been four months since that ill fated incident at that class and they had moved past it with joie de vivre - or at least as much of that as they could muster. "Oh look at that Ahaana, you're almost one year old. I wonder if your baba has something special planned for you." She lifted the girl up, changing her into a cute outfit that Tanya had bought for her: a cowboy skirt and a small plaid shirt. Of course she should have expected the struggle with the buttons as Ahaana squirmed in her arms. "Do you want to go see your baba before he goes to work? Yes you do," she cooed, lifting her up in her arms and taking her to where Aarav was in the kitchen. She'd already set his tiffin at the table so he could put it in his bag and breakfast was on the table too - making the household a well oiled machine. "Here she is," Tanya whispered, depositing Ahaana in Aarav's arms and picking up a cup of coffee as she watched the interaction with a smile. She was gurgling now, some words that were too scrambled in their gibberish to make sense of. It was only when Ahaana looked around frantically, that Tanya rushed forward holding the baby's hands. "Hey baby, kya hua?" If Tanya wasn't so focused on Ahaana she would have noticed this was the first time she and Aarav had been in such close proximity after the class. "Mumma," Ahaana gurgled, pointing to Tanya and Tanya froze, going pale. She looked up at Aarav in disbelief, eyes wide.
Aarav looked down at the coffee machine, switching it off when it had properly brewed. He and Tanya were the only ones who drank their coffee black and so he liked brewing it to it's richest, darkest flavour. His phone beeped then, and he picked it up, smiling at the notification of Ahaana's birthday within the next week. His plans were all set, a little party at the house, with some of the other babies and parents from the class she was in, and the food would be catered so that Tanya could spend the time with Ahaana. He looked around when he heard Tanya's footsteps and grinned when he caught his baby girl reaching towards him. He picked her up and grinned when he felt Ahaana's head lean into the crook of his neck before suddenly murmuring something incredibly undecipherable. Aarav only smiled and nodded along until he caught her looking around a lot, almost squirming to get out of his arms. "Kya hua?" he whispered before he watched Tanya come closer and take Ahaana's hands. But then in the next moment, when he heard Ahaana's voice call out to Tanya, and the way she looked up at him. They both were surprised, but Aarav was incredibly pleased to hear it. "That's right baby, that's your mumma," he smiled at Tanya before taking her hand with his free one, drawing her in slightly, knowing just how emotional this moment was for her.
Tanya exhaled shakily when Aarav drew her in, her attention completely on the fact that her arm was wound around her waist, and even that contact sent tingles down her spine and everywhere else. "Say it again Ahaana," she whispered, allowing herself to fall down this rabbit hole where nothing made sense because in what universe would Aarav's daughter call her mother, especially when they had no relation to each other. The baby only complied and repeated the word, tugging on Tanya's hair causing her to groan in pain before bursting into laughter. "Okay okay, that's enough Ahaana," she whispered as she straightened out again, her face once again mere centimeters away from Aarav. Their eyes met and she felt her breath catch in her throat.
Aarav smiled when Ahaana obliged and repeated the word over again, tugging on Tanya's hair. "Not nice, Ahaana," he murmured before holding onto his little girl's hand before noting how close Tanya was to him once more. Since their class together, he'd kept his distance, knowing he was treading into a very dangerous territory with her, something he'd never expected. But when he caught her looking at him that way, he just wanted to pull her closer and finally end the gap between them that he could feel getting smaller and smaller. But instead, he stayed away, not wanting that guilt from before to come back to him. He'd been feeling strange things since that class, realizing just how easily Tanya had woven into his world, into his life making it theirs.
Tanya wished she could look away from him, but she couldn't. It was as if she was locked in this gaze with him. The world seemed to have fallen away around them, and she could only see him, could only hear the sound of her racing heartbeat. She was very afraid that she was going to do something stupid, or worse Aarav would hear the very loud beating of her heart, or even the fact that she was so breathless around him. Of course, Ahaana saved the day by clapping her hands, obviously disappointed that the attention was no longer on her. Tanya cleared her throat, looking away from him immediately. "I've got to get to classes, Rohan said he'd watch her for a few hours," Tanya excused herself, practically running out of the house, heart caught in throat.
Aarav could smell the freshly brewed coffee, and hear the giddy sounds of his daughter in her playpen when he'd opened his eyes. The other side of his bed had looked slept in, but Aarav didn't look at all surprised. Instead, he seemed to venture out of his bedroom, missing the significant smell of Tanya's perfume that wafted around his entire house. He normally would've worn a robe, but in this world--he didn't need to. He saw her petite frame in the kitchen, her hands working on something atop the stove and instantly slipped his arms around her waist, his nose at her neck, "morning." His greeting was soft and he smiled when she dropped the spatula and turned to wrap her own arms around his neck. Aarav didn't hesitate at all this time before leaning down to press his lips against hers, and it was everything he'd ever dreamed of. A feeling in his heart told him how badly he'd been wanting this for ages and that gave him the courage to deepen in. His hands slipping under her shirt, feeling her warm flesh against his fingertips until he had her pinned up against the wall, his lips trailing down her jaw and her neck, the food on the stove lay forgotten while it simmered. The joyful sounds of Ahaana's happiness being their background music. And for the first time in a very long time, Aarav knew he was exactly where he belonged with the one woman who he could trust with his heart because she wouldn't break it. Too bad that was all a dream and instead--he'd woken up in a sweat, feeling rather surprised by where his dreams led him and who they led him to.
Tanya tiptoed around the bathroom, wrapped in what she assumed was Aarav's fluffy towel, her hair wet against her back, face fresh from the hot water she'd used up. She'd gotten here early in the morning to feed Ahaana, knowing that Aarav liked to sleep in on the weekends, only the baby girl seemed to be going through her spit up phase and had thrown up the food all over Tanya's clothes and hair. She would have gone back to her own apartment, but the sticky mixture of formula and mashed bananas was truly disgusting. Aarav wouldn't have minded she was sure, and last she'd checked while slipping into the shower, he had been asleep. She stepped out of the ensuite bathroom, hands clutched tightly to the towel as she cursed herself for the thousandth time, wishing she'd had the good sense to pack a change of clothing. She had just opened the drawer to pull out one of Aarav's graphic t shirts, and a pair of his boxers when she heard noise from behind her. Tanya dropped the clothes in her hand as she turned, only to come face to face with a very shirtless and very sweaty Aarav. Her grip around the towel tightened as she gave him a nervous smile. "Hey, I was just-- Ahaana spit up all over me so I thought I'd shower... And then I realized my clothes were ruined, so I was like maybe I could borrow some of yours." She clamped her jaw shut before she made an even bigger fool of herself and looked down at her feet, the pool of dripping water forming around them,
Aarav had to be dreaming. There was no other explanation for why Tanya was in his bedroom, with a towel wrapped around her, her hair dripping wet, trailing down her neck disappearing beneath the towel she was clutching so carefully. There was absolutely no other explanation. Until of course, she'd given him a reason as to why she was there which meant this was certainly no dream. He was on the other hand in need of a shower very badly but he wasn't sure if he should get up thanks to certain circumstances that had arisen after his very vivid dream about this woman in front of him. But from what he figured, he was alright and so he did stand, picking up the clothes she'd dropped, swallowing at the sight of her like that in front of him. "Of course," he murmured, deciding perhaps he was a bit too close and yet he didn't make any move to back away, deciding he liked feeling the steam that was still wafting off of her from her hot shower. "I--uh, you can change in here. I'll be in the bathroom," and yet--his feet refused to listen to his mind's every command.
Tanya noddd at his words, taking the clothes with one hand while the other continued to clutch at the towel. She raised an eyebrow at him, at the proximity between them and the way he hadn't moved an inch despite saying that he would. "Okay," Tanya dragged out the last syllable for as long as possible, wishing he would just go shower because there was only one layer that was separating them right now and her thoughts were heading in a direction which she did not approve of. She let out a weak laugh, deciding that maybe she should be the one that moved. Bad idea. The puddle of water surrounding her had caused her to slip, forcing her to crash right into Aarav as they both toppled to the ground, her on top of him.
Aarav was a very stupid person. There was absolutely no other word in the English vocabulary that better suit Aarav Roy. Because the definition was as follows: stu·pid st(y)o͞opəd/ adjective / having or showing a great lack of intelligence or common sense. And right now, he was showing absolutely no common sense. He stood there in place until she tried to move away which of course had her landing on him considering the way she slipped in the little pool of water that had accumulated by her feet. "Tanya!" Calling out her name did nothing because ultimately the two of them were on the floor in his bedroom, him in his boxers, her with a towel that was dangerously close to slipping off of her thanks to his grip at her waist. "Sorry," he murmured breathlessly, one hand reaching up to move her wet hair away from her face so he could look at her. The problem was, this little incident had caused them both to become quite out of breath and when Aarav recollected the dream he'd just had--he wanted it to be real. That's why his one hand cupped her cheek finally and he leaned up, ready to finally have his first kiss with Tanya Sen.
Tanya froze when she realized he was leaning in; his hand was on her cheek and she was pretty sure she was burning up wherever he touched her. Come on Sen, breathe. She exhaled shakily before noting that he too had paused, leaving the small gap between their lips that would drive Tanya insane. She had wanted this her entire life, and now that it was finally in front of her, why was she so scared? Because you don't want him to break your heart. It was one thing for her to be in unrequieted love with Aarav, because it was hers and hers alone. She could do what she wished with it, but the second he showed any semblance of reciprocation - it was a gamble, completely out of her control. Still, Tanya couldn't bear it. Maybe third time lucky, and with that, she closed the gap between their lips, her hand moving away from her towel and sinking into his hair.
Aarav had come close to kissing her at least twice in the past year, and his dream from this morning was basically an indication that it wasn't something he had wanted spontaneously. He'd been wanting to kiss her for a very long time, to feel her wanting him the way he was beginning to want her. Maybe it was seeing just how much she cared for him and their daughter. Ahaana was theirs. It didn't matter that she had someone else's blood running through her veins, the bond she shared with Tanya was unlike anything he'd ever witnessed. Plus the way Tanya cared for him, had him going back to the past remembering each and every time how she'd been there, her love and support for him unwavering. Of course, the problem was that he had no idea what she'd been thinking until the moment she closed their gap. Feeling her lips against his, moving in tandem, the way her fingers tugged on the ends of his bedhead hair, left him moaning. His hand tightened against the terry cotton of his robe before realizing just what the two of them were engaging in--and that too, on the floor of his bedroom. But Aarav didn't want to stop, he felt like he'd finally rediscovered a part of him he'd lost so long ago, and wondered whether or not this was as significant to her as it was to him.
Tanya gasped when she felt his grip tighten on the towel, feeling the fabric slip further down her body. Moving a little fast there aren't we? Her conscience sneered, sounding remarkably similar to Raina. Tanya didn't care, not when she'd manufactured a ten year relationship based on nothing, she could do a whole lot more with kisses and second base. Her heart raced in her chest at the thought of this finally happening. Maybe they were right, maybe she just had to wait. Tanya shifted slightly in his grip so that he was now hovering over her and her back was pressed against the cold marble floor of the apartment.
Aarav should've stopped himself, he should've known that this was Tanya Sen, his best friend, the mother to his little baby girl, and quite possibly the one woman who knew him better than he knew himself. But he didn't. He happily shifted them so that she was on the floor, the towel coming undone thanks to their position changes, but looking down at her there, he knew this wasn't how it was supposed to happen. It wasn't something that he was going to do just because of their lack of clothes. No, Tanya deserved better than that. She deserved feeling cherished and loved. But you do love her. And that was true, Aarav Roy loved Tanya Sen, but right now--he was actually falling in love with her, day by day, moment by moment. And that's why he pulled away and helped her stand up. Ensuring he didn't let her towel drop, he handed her a big robe he normally used when he was lounging around his bedroom without anything on. He wouldn't apologize because he wasn't sorry for kissing her, but he was sorry for taking advantage of a moment that perhaps would change the course of their relationship.
Tanya felt her cheeks flush when he pressed the robe into her hands, as she realized what it looked like. It kind of looked like she had planned to throw herself at him, when it had all just been a coincidence. Maybe you should have thrown yourself at him earlier, again Raina's voice popped in as her conscience and she cleared her throat. Stepping into Aarav's closet, Tanya changed into the clothes she'd gathered from him, pulling his shirt over her bare chest, but slipping on her own jeans which were thankfully safe from Ahaana's spit up attack. She'd expected him to be in the shower when she got out but there he was, sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Oh god, did he regret it? Tanya took a seat next to him, resting her hand on his thigh. "Listen if you..." Her throat went dry, the words dying on her lips when he looked up at her and she felt her controls dropping as she leaned in to kiss him again, softer this time.
Aarav should've gone into the bathroom to take his shower, but he sat there on the bed, thankfully having tugged on his own shirt so that he wasn't still half naked when she came back out of his closet. His mind was reeling with what had just happened. How could he have kissed Tanya? Because you idiot! You've been wanting to for ages. And maybe that was true, but her friendship meant the world to him and maybe that's why when the door opened he was still sitting there with his head in his hands. He knew she'd stepped out, but he expected her to just get out of his bedroom as quickly as possible but instead she sat down next to him. He saw her hand on his thigh and looked up at her, wondering for a second what his conflicted expression looked like. But before he could say anything, she ended up leaning in once more to kiss him. He couldn't hold back and so he continued kissing her, his one hand pulling her close, the other helping her so that she was now on his lap, her own hands around his neck. Were they making out in his bedroom on an early Saturday morning? Yes, just like the dream you'd had. Aarav smiled into the kiss until he heard someone clear their throat which caused them both to break apart. Rohan stood there in the doorway, a bowl of cereal in his hand while he smiled at them knowingly. "I had no idea this was what lazy Saturday mornings were like in this household.." He was about to say something else but Aarav glared, stopping him from saying anything else that could ruin whatever this was turning into.
Tanya never realized that kissing Aarav would be even more than what she had imagined it to be, considering that she had ten years of imagining behind her. It was everything she had wanted and even more, the way his arms wound around her; how his fingers would gently brush against her waist, sliding underneath the shirt she was wearing, or how his lips moved with expert ease against her own, making her forget everything she'd ever known. At the sound of Rohan's voice, Tanya pulled away from Aarav. Her cheeks flushed and she got off his lap too, seating herself further away from him on the bed. She knew that Rohan would have a lot of taunts, but right now her heart was fluttering and blood was rushing to her ears and all she could think of was Aarav, so she would address that problem a different time. It was only when Rohan disappeared that Tanya let out a nervous laugh. "So..."
Aarav had banished Rohan with a look and was mildly proud of that little fact too, but that didn't change what had happened here, twice--and was definitely leading to so much more. He supposed it was a very good thing that they hadn't done anything before she changed, or else, they'd have probably still been on the floor, nothing covering either of them when Rohan walked in. Yes, this was much easier to handle. "So.." he repeated before he turned his entire body to face her. "I don't--regret it," he said quickly before taking a deep breath. "I just--God, if I fucked things up between us because of it, I'd never be able to forgive myself, it's just I'm feeling--" and he trailed off, right as he was about to tell her that he's been feeling things for her since that massage, since that class, for a long time now but he just didn't know if he could handle another rejection now. He knew this was Tanya though, which meant she'd been there with him through his heartbreaks but it didn't entirely take away his fear.
Tanya decided that she liked Aarav a lot more when he wasn't freaking out or rambling the way he was right now. It was why when she saw an opening that she surged forward and kissed him again. Maybe this time the door would stay closed. Oh god, if only he knew that she had wanted this for the longest time, that she'd never said anything because she knew that Aarav would not reciprocate her feelings especially since she was chubby and solely his best friend. How many times had she wanted to shut him up when he had been freaking out with a kiss? Countless. And the fact that she was finally doing it made her heart flutter. "I don't regret it," she whispered, pulling away slightly. Tanya couldn't tell him how long exactly she'd been in love with him, so she wouldn't. Maybe he'd get over it soon enough, find some other girl to fall in love with.
Aarav was stunned. That was legit the best way he could actually express what he felt considering Tanya had just leaned in for another kiss that left him wanting so much more. She needed to stop finding his vulnerability and exploiting it the way she was. He wanted to reach forward for her but kept his hands to himself this time, knowing that they needed to control themselves until they could understand what exactly was happening between them; considering so much was at stake between them. He smiled at her words, reaching for her hand to grasp with both of his before he looked up at her. "You can shut me up like that--any time you want,"
Tanya blushed, her cheeks coloring a soft baby pink - one that was incidentally similar to the fairy onesie that Ahaana was wearing today. She looked down at their hands, clearing her throat. "Well I might just take you up on that offer." What was happening to her? When had she gotten so flirty? Oh thank god, you finally grew a pair, Raina's voice filtered in her ears once more and Tanya rolled her eyes. Her gaze however remained on their hands, her fingers playing with his before she looked up at him. "So what-- what is this?" There it was; the dreaded question she had never wanted to ask. "Because I just... I want what is best for Ahaana," Tanya covered up, hating how it sounded like she wanted to keep some distance between them. That was the last thing she wanted, but she was just afraid that he would break her heart.
Aarav smiled at her words, surprised that this was indeed Tanya Sen who was flirting with him. But he loved seeing the way she inched closer to him, their fingers together before he heard her question that startled him. He knew it was imperative that they talked about this so they didn't make a mess of their lives and of each other but he didn't want to risk it. He'd always invested far too much in relationships but with Tanya he had so much more at stake if he did dive in headfirst. "And I want the same thing," he whispered before smiling at her. "I'm her Baba, aur woh tumhe Mumma bulati hai, maybe that's--a sign for us to maybe see how this goes? You're the most important person to Ahaana and I don't want anything to take away from that."
Tanya smiled then, staring at him. Maybe this was good, maybe she would stop have to pretending she had absolutely no feelings for this man in front of her, because that had been absolute torture and a test of her acting skills. "Okay," she whispered, smiling. "Okay," Tanya reiterated, shaking her head. "Okay." This time she laughed before wrapping her arms around Aarav. Perhaps she'd attempted that with too much force because although she was now in his arms, he was lying down on the bed. There was a niggling voice in her head however, telling her that this was the worst idea she'd had. It told her that everything would come crashing down on her sooner or later.
Aarav wouldn't lie and say how adorable he found her when she kept saying 'okay' as if this was something she'd wanted for a very long time and was trying to persuade herself to be cool. Maybe it was? He didn't know, especially considering he'd wanted this for a couple months now too, close to a year. He laughed when she hugged him, especially when the two of them ended up on the bed once more, her shirt having lifted up in the action. He leaned up to kiss her, loving that he could feel her smiling into the kiss and prayed that this would work out. If this worked out, all the time he'd spent with other women, investing into those relationships would be worth it because this was truly the first time he'd felt like it could actually work and they'd be a happy little family.
Tanya exhaled slowly as she stood at the bakery, tapping her foot and constantly glancing at her watch. She then switched to staring at her phone, waiting for some sort of message to pop up from Aarav considering that she was supposed to be at the apartment in less than ten minutes. Grabbing her order when it was called, Tanya nearly collapsed with relief before making the jog to Aarav's. Armed with donuts, Tanya only pushed open the door. "I come bearing donuts, and I'm so sorry I'm--" Her voice died in her throat at the sight of the one person she didn't want to see. Aditi Singhania, Ahaana's real mother.
Aarav had spent the last week of his life being deliriously happy. He hadn't actually been falling in love with Tanya because he'd realized that he'd always been in love with her, just too blind and oblivious to give it the right time asides from friendship. He'd just changed his little girl out from the night time onesie into just a t-shirt so she could crawl around the house in her diaper until her mother came home to give her a bath. They hadn't spent this week deciding or contemplating their future, deciding to let it take its own course the way the rest of the past had. And maybe that's why Aarav wasn't doing what he did best and messing it up. He'd heard the doorbell and frowned, wondering why she'd not be using her key. And that's when he scooped up his little baby girl and opened up the door--only to find Aditi Singhania on the other side, looking as if she'd been crying for days. She'd taken Ahaana in her arms and began kissing her all over, which only made Aarav extremely uncomfortable. He hadn't seen this woman now in just around two years and now he didn't know how to react. "Uh, come in, I guess." Was the first thing he said because there was a bit of a draft outside and he didn't want Ahaana to catch something. But while he watched the mother-daughter together he found himself feeling extremely uncomfortable and wondered why; especially when Aditi was Ahaana's birth mother. But she'd left her, which was almost giving up every right she had in calling Ahaana her daughter. Aarav sat a bit away from them, watching as Ahaana kept pointing at Aarav and finally took her in his arms, which had him sitting closer to Aditi now, listening to her story about how she'd been in a really dark place and hadn't wanted to give Ahaana up for adoption which was why she'd sent her over to Aarav, but she was better now and she wanted to see if maybe they could try again for the future Aarav had wanted with her. It was true, she was one of the first girls he'd actually wanted to marry, and had gone ring shopping as well, but he'd never actually purchased the ring--which was good considering how she'd broken his heart when she cut things off. But now, his heart was reminding him that he was with Tanya, he wanted to be with Tanya. And when she'd arrived, it had sped up, making him smile, until he realized just how she would perceive this situation. He tried to tell her telepathically, that nothing was resolved and she needed to listen but he could see the look on her face and wondered how this was going to go.
Tanya pursed her lips, her throat going dry at the sight of Ahaana playing comfortably in her birth mother's arms, and the way Aarav's arm was around Aditi too only served to further unsettle her heart. At least listen to him, her heart pleaded and she knew that she should, part of her even wanted to listen - if not for her conscience which only smugly whispered a quiet Told ya so. She cleared her throat, stepping inside and set the box of donuts on the center table. "Hi, I was just stopping by to see if Aarav was alright." Aditi gave her a pained smile, one that only worried Tanya. "And now that you have, you can go."
Aarav frowned when he heard Aditi's sharp tone at Tanya. She had no right to talk to her that way, none whatsoever and it bothered him. He took Ahaana out of Aditi's arms and held her while she squirmed some more. "Mumma! Mumma paas!" And Aarav let her down, watching her waddle her way to Tanya, his heart aching at the sight of how the youngest in the room was so aware of what she needed and what she wanted, while Aarav was dumbstruck. Aditi was back, she wanted the life that he'd dreamed of. But Tanya was right there too, and she'd been nothing short of amazing with him when he'd desperately needed her. His life was up in the air, and while the rational choice was sitting right next to him, his heart begged to differ. Aditi was Ahaana's birth mother and giving her a stable family life was the most important thing, and besides--isn't that what Tanya also said she wanted for Ahaana?
Tanya felt her heart crack into a million pieces when this little girl's chubby arms wrapped around her legs. Despite Aditi's glares in her direction, Tanya picked Ahaana up in her arms, shaking her head. Her head felt heavy, eyes brimming with tears as she pointed to Aditi. "That's Mumma," she whispered before exhaling. "I'm Tanya, you can call me T okay?" No, not okay, her heart argued because Tanya was Ahaana's mother in all of the most important ways. She waited until Aditi had decided to go freshen up before making her way to the kitchen, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. "So, she's back huh?" Tanya didn't ask the question she wanted to; she didn't want to ask where this left them, because she was terrified of the answer.
Aarav had shaken his head so softly when he heard Tanya tell Ahaana who her Mumma was because she was wrong. Aditi was someone who'd been selfish and left her daughter his doorstep because she was scared and stressed. Tanya had stepped up, despite having no reason to and had become Ahaana's mother. There was nothing anybody could say to take away. He heard her step into the kitchen a little later knowing that she'd kept Ahaana in her playpen before he turned to see her. He wanted to take her in his arms, pretend that this awkwardness didn't exist and everything was still how it was before but he couldn't. "Showed up this morning to make things right." His words weren't happy and she knew him which meant she'd realized it as well. "Lekin tumne dekha na, Ahaana ke liye tum hi uski Mumma ho," It was a desperate way and a cowardly way for him to hold onto her, because if he said that, it really meant he couldn't let her go, for his sake and his daughters.
Tanya exhaled slowly, knowing that her next words were going to be tough, especially since she didn't believe in them at all. She took Aarav's hands in hers, finally looking him in the eyes. They were the same height for once - she'd worn those nice ankle booties she'd seen for sale. "Remember when we-- started this, and I told you that I just want what's best for Ahaana?" A pause; Tanya gathered her thoughts. "Well mujhe lagta hai ki what's best for Ahaana is for her to bond with her birth mother because she's her real mother." Tanya dropped Aarav's hands then, stepping away from him. She'd need to get rid of everything that she'd slowly started leaving at his place over the past week, finding it much easier to just spend the night - even if they were woken at night by a crying baby.
Aarav couldn't help the crooked smile on his face when he caught her being eye level with him. He'd often teased her about her height even though he secretly loved it, especially when they were curled up on the couch together watching their daughter sleeping or even just playing. He felt her take his hands though and knew instinctively that this was going to be one of those talks he hated. And from the second she'd began--he knew what she was about to say. "It doesn't--" his words left unspoken because she was doing the rejecting just like every other woman before she had. Yes, Aditi had come back, but that didn't mean Aarav wasn't left hurting at this behavior. He pulled her back when she tried to leave the kitchen, their eye level being the same helped him when he decided to lean forward and kiss her. If she was backing away, if she was deciding that just because Aditi was back it meant Ahaana didn't need her anymore, then he wouldn't argue but he would kiss her so that she'd know just how much he couldn't bare to let her walk out of their lives.
Tanya froze against his lips when he kissed her before her instincts kicked in and she kissed him back, perhaps not with the same force that he was but she kissed him back. Her own hands sunk into his hair, molding the kiss into something softer, something she'd want to remember. She knew that he was going to try and use this kiss to convince her to stay. He didn't understand that she couldn't; she couldn't compete with Aditi because she knew she would lose. So she would use the kiss to tell him goodbye. Tanya pulled away eventually. "I'm sorry, I just-- I can't stay here when she's here.. and I can't ask her to leave. I can't do that to Ahaana. She's her mother Aarav, main sirf... sirf ek substitute thi tum sab ki zindagi main!" That was a lie. A blatant one at that. "I can't keep pretending."
Aarav closed his eyes when he heard her words and shook his head. "You're her mother Tanya! Ahaana ko tumhare siva aur kuch nahi pata." He tried to hold onto her, his hands reaching for her only to feel like she was pulling away from him again. "You've never been a substitute, you've always been so much more." But the reality was, he knew Tanya and he'd also been there every time she made a decision and there was never a time he couldn't remember her following through with it. If this was what she'd want, she was going to be walking out of their lives and his daughter might be reunited with her birth mother, but she was going to be losing her real mother and that killed him.
Tanya scoffed at his words, knowing that he wouldn't listen to her; she knew he would keep trying to insist on words that Tanya also knew to be true. But what she knew was that this was unfair on Aditi, the woman who was in that bedroom right now with Ahaana - and that she at least deserved a chance to have the happy family Tanya had for the past six months. "Frankly I'm tired Aarav," she started, her chest constricted at this lie. "I'm tired of always being here to save your ass, to give you the easy way out. I've been doing that since we've been children. Aur har baar tumne mera faida uthaya hai," she spat, her heart breaking inside. "Har baar. Aur iss baar bhi tum woh hi kar rahe ho because you're scared of it not working out with Aditi. I'm the safe choice for you." She set the mug back down, feeling pain course through every part of her. "I'm tired of it."
Aarav had never expected to hear these things from Tanya. Yes, he'd joked often about being a matlabi friend to her but she'd always laughed it off and reassured him that it wasn't true. Right now, he couldn't trust that old Tanya's words. She was saying everything he'd often thought about himself and knew she was telling the truth. He backed away so that he hit the counter across her in the kitchen and nodded, not trusting himself to be able to put together sentences that would work and actually make sense. "That's why you're leaving," he murmured before turning around and shaking his head. He'd done it. He'd successfully pushed out the one last person in his life that he'd believed would have been there with him through everything. He couldn't fault her though, for any of this. It all made sense and he should've truly known better. "You weren't my safe choice," he said finally. "You were a choice I made a long time ago, I just never realized what it meant--until now."
Tanya wished he hadn't said that; it only sprinkled salt on her already gaping wound. He wouldn't understand why she was doing this. He never would because he didn't know how long she'd actually been in love with him for. He would never know how she felt about him, how she really felt about him. Maybe for him this was just some flutters he wanted to experience but for her? It had been a lifetime of wishing finally coming true. Tanya wrapped her arms around herself before shaking her head. "You don't have to lie Aarav, we're just best friends. That's all we've ever been - what happened last week was just... It felt right to you because you had a baby, and I was there and I took care of your baby so you started associating me with... feelings that you have for Aditi. You know, the mother of your baby." Her voice cracked and Tanya buried her face in her hands before exhaling. "I have to leave." She grabbed her purse from off the counter and began walking towards the front door. Please stop me, please stop me, she whispered to herself, waiting for it - a last ditch attempt to salvage this relationship but he never did. Tanya left her key on the coffee table and left the house, without a single goodbye to Aarav or to Ahaana.
Aarav shook his head when he heard her words. She thought he was lying. She actually believed that he was lying about her being his choice. And a few months ago, he'd have heard her words about why he'd started associating feelings with her, and believed her that maybe he was just being vulnerable and feeling like he needed someone there in that capacity in his life. But he didn't. He'd wanted to be with her for a reason and that was why he'd spent so much time fighting all his feelings off. He didn't say anything to her when she said she wanted to leave because he didn't want to be that person. He wanted to hold onto her, but if she was adamant on leaving--there was nothing left for him to say. He heard the keys on the coffee table and frowned while he stared out the window watching her to her car. His daughter was going to miss her, she wasn't going to take kindly to being abandoned, especially when they'd been together for the longest time. And as for Aarav? He'd never known how it would feel to watch her walk out of his life. It reminded him of that one time she'd said he'd be looking around and she wouldn't be there any longer; that was the reality he was going to be forced to face.
Tanya whined over the phone, stomping her feet. "Ma, that's not fair. I just came down to see you last weekend!" She huffed when the woman chattered some more and felt her irritation rise when it simmered just as quickly. A pair of arms came around her waist, nose nuzzling at neck and she sighed. "Okay fine, I'll bring Samar also. Theek hai na? I know him and Baba get on fantastically." She turned in Samar's grip, giggling when the man nipped at her nose. It had been three months since she'd walked out of Aarav's apartment that fated day, breaking off everything between them that had ever existed. Three months and Tanya was no closer to getting over him than she had been the day he'd taken Meghna Dheer to prom. Samar of course provided a distraction, but she could never be in love with him. Part of her had done it to spite Aarav, which was stupid considering that Aarav didn't even know. They hadn't as much as spoken since she'd spewed all those lies to him so he'd let her go. So she wouldn't allow him to break her heart - the eventuality of that relationship. "Are we going somewhere T?" Tanya only nodded, reaching up on her toes to kiss Samar. "We're going to see my parents, its the big family weekend they have once every four months." The biggest thing she was forgetting about this family weekend of course was that they always did it with the Roy's.
Aarav smiled when he caught Aditi bathing Ahaana, the little girl not really looking nearly quite as thrilled as she had whenever Tanya was playing with her during bath time, but at least Aditi was stepping up to the responsibility. It had taken her quite some time which had him taking a paid leave off work because she'd been so entirely lost while Rohan hadn't been any help. In fact, Rohan was upset with him for about three months now and Aarav didn't even know why. He'd been doing okay personally, now that he was at work and trying to resume the life he'd had before everything had gone to hell. Aditi had moved in, staying in his room while he'd taken to sleeping on an air mattress that he'd set up in the nursery. It was good for his daughter, the way Tanya had told him it should be but while Aditi was still trying to move their relationship along, Aarav wasn't quite ready. "Is our little princess ready for the big trip?" Ahaana was going to be meeting her grandparents finally an entire set of family members which would be pretty different for her. Aditi nodded before helping their daughter out of the tub and getting her dressed. Aarav was taking Aditi along, of course, considering she was Ahaana's mother but asides from hugs, and some kisses on the cheeks, they didn't share much and he didn't want to, especially just yet. "My parents are excited to see this little one," and that sparked enough for Aditi to start a random conversation, one that he tuned out considering his thoughts were on Tanya, wondering if he'd get to see her again this weekend. It was always a tradition for her and her family to join the Roy's for this family weekend but after everything that had transpired between them--he didn't know what to expect. But one thing he knew for sure, was that Ahaana was going to be thrilled to see her again--and that was most important.
Tanya clutched tightly onto Samar's hand once they entered the large dining hall in the Sen house. She could already hear her father coming over to them but Tanya's gaze was locked on Kiran and Suraj Roy who were standing in a corner talking to Aarav and cooing at Ahaana. Tanya's own heart banged. Ahaana... She hadn't seen the little girl for three months and the only reason she hadn't let it affect her as it so obviously did was because of Samar's distractions. There had been a time when Tanya had wanted to save her first time for Aarav; that time had disappeared after she'd slammed the door in any future relationship they could have had. That of course wasn't to say that she'd had sex with Samar, because she hadn't. Something still didn't feel right. "I'll be right back," Tanya whispered to Samar, deciding she needed to say hi to the Roy family. Of course his hand tugged her back and he gave her a soft kiss, one that made her forget momentarily where she was. He was a good distraction that Samar; he kept her distracted enough from the fact that she was still desperately in love with Aarav.
Aarav had been quite happy with the fact that Aditi had chosen to come a little later, telling him that she had some work in the city before she'd come down to join the big weekend. He would be able to take care of his little girl on his own and plus it was about time that he did something on his own. He'd been watching his dad with his daughter when Tanya had walked in, clutching onto some other guy's hand. Aarav hadn't expected it to hurt him quite as much as it had but there it was. He hated seeing her with someone else and while he tried to keep his attention on his daughter, he couldn't. He watched her kiss this guy and missed the feeling of her lips on his own, her hands in his hair but now--things were different. She'd been the one to walk away and he couldn't really say anything anymore. He leaned against the wall watching her head towards them but before anyone could say any type of greeting--Ahaana had spoken for everyone. "Mumma! Mumma jhappi!" And despite himself, he found himself smiling at how she pulled herself from Suraj only to be taken into Tanya's arms, where she always belonged.
Tanya sighed when Ahaana greeted her with the same Mumma, sounding exactly the same as she did when she'd said it the first time. Taking Ahaana into her arms, she bounced the girl in her embrace, smiling when the baby gurgled and leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. "Hi uncle, how are you?" Suraj only smiled before catching her up on his business. That was when she felt Samar's arm wrap around her waist as his lips pressed against her hair. "Hey baby, who's this little princess?" Samar turned to Suraj then, "Samar Mehra," introducing himself with a handshake. Tanya paled then; she hadn't actually expected Aarav and Samar to ever come face to face with one another this entire weekend, wanting to keep them away from each other for as long as possible.
Aarav blanched at the sound of this guy coming up to her and calling her baby; so entirely unoriginal and plus how dare he call his daughter a little princess? Actually--the problem came when he introduced himself. It was Samar Mehra. The one guy in high school who'd made his life a living hell. Everything Aarav wanted, Samar tried to snatch away from him. Aarav had wanted to try out for the school play, then Samar had to try as well. Aarav was nominated for valedictorian, and Samar had to be nominated as well. Aarav was a top candidate for captain of the football team, then so as Samar. And now Samar had taken the one thing that meant the most to Aarav--Tanya. He held his hand out, trying to keep a passive smile on his face. "Hey Samar, I didn't expect to see you here out of all places," he looked at Tanya pointedly before holding his hands out for his daughter. He had nothing right now and he desperately needed to hold onto his little girl to remind him that at least she'd chosen him. Although if Aarav had been thinking rationally, he'd remember that even then--it wasn't entirely true.
Tanya furrowed her eyebrows at Aarav's look, not wanting to let go of Ahaana. He'd had the past three months with her, Tanya had just gotten to hold her. Still, she sighed and handed the girl back to Aarav, leaning into Samar's side. "To be honest, I didn't expect it either. Kinda always thought that you and Tanya had something going on, pretty sure half the high school thought you'd eventually get married." Samar laughed, and Tanya let out a short, breathless laugh, afraid of where this conversation was going. "Funny that you two never even dated. Lucky for me I guess, she's the best thing to happen to me. I'll see you at the table yeah babe? Your mom wants me to help set the table." "Mm-hm." Tanya waved to him before watching the way Suraj disappeared too, leaving her alone with Aarav - the one thing she feared.
Aarav nodded at Samar's words, trying to be as polite as possible but he didn't want to hear how Tanya and him were meant to get married, a part of him wished that could've been their reality. But he had to push those thoughts away especially considering how happy she seemed with Samar, who maybe had matured since high school. "Yeah, maybe our only relationship was meant to be friendship," he murmured before watching Samar leave while he looked at Tanya who still had her eyes on Ahaana especially when the little girl in question was attempting to pull Tanya closer. But he couldn't step closer to her, not now--not anymore. Instead, he'd just let Tanya hold Ahaana once more. "So--you and Samar huh? That didn't take you very long." Was he spiteful? Yeah. She maybe have been happy and that may have been something he wanted for her, but the fact that she'd just walked away--it killed him.
Tanya took Ahaana into her arms, the smile reappearing on her face. Of course, it dropped just as quickly at the harsh tone she could hear in his voice. "Uh, it's not-- It's nothing serious," she defended but then paused. Why was she trying to defend her relationship with Samar to Aarav? Didn't Aarav already have a readymade wife? "Where's your girlfriend?" And maybe if she'd slipped some malice into her tone as well, none would be the wiser. She rocked Ahaana in her arms, bouncing the girl who only giggled, playing with Tanya's hair which had grown longer in the past three months. "How--How have you been?" There, maybe they could try to be civil.
Aarav raised an eyebrow at her words before shrugging. "You brought him to the family weekend Tanya, I'm sure he's thinking wedding next fall." He grabbed one of the bottles of beer that were being served and swigged it down. At the mention of Aditi being his girlfriend, though, he had to smile. The truth was, he wasn't her boyfriend, nor did he want to be but that was exactly what Tanya wanted for him so he'd give her the answer she wanted. "She's still in the city, coming down tonight or tomorrow." But the moment he'd seen Ahaana smiling and giggling in Tanya's arms, he couldn't hold onto his anger, no matter how much it simmered inside him. "It's been hard," Aarav whispered quietly before shrugging. "But it's fine, had to happen at some point right? What about you? How have things been?"
Tanya nearly blurt it out then. I don't want to be here with Samar. I want to be here with you! She pulled herself together at the last moment and nodded politely at his words. "A fall wedding would be nice I suppose," she retorted, her voice oozing with charm. She knew that it would hurt him and for some reason, Tanya really wanted to. She wanted him to feel the same pain that she'd felt all those years she'd been in love with him. All those years she'd seen those girls come and go from his apartment. Of course at his admission, even her armour cracked and she shifted closer to him so their shoulders were brushing. "Oh no, kuch hua kya?" Her conscience groaned. Why did she always have to be the saint? "Me? Oh, things have been fine I guess. I got dropped from my law firm." This was followed by a weak laugh, and her rocking of Ahaana got a lot less enthusiastic.
Aarav forced himself to smile and nodded. "The colors of fall would look beautiful in your wedding..actually, you'd look absolutely gorgeous." It hurt him to imagine her wedding. It hurt to think she'd be walking down an aisle, only to become Samar's wife. Mrs. Tanya Mehra. She couldn't do that to him. She could, and she will. You deserve that and every bit of pain you feel. Aarav shook his head at her concern. This wasn't allowed anymore. She couldn't have this concern for him anymore, she'd wanted out and he couldn't reel her back in with saying anything anymore. Instead he chose to listen her this time. "Why did you get dropped? You were one of the top lawyers at your firm. What--what happened?"
Tanya shrugged then, not even Ahaana's toothless smile enough to make her grin. "Guess after what happened at your apartment that day... I was just distracted." She wouldn't tell him that she had of course jeopardized her entire career to spend time with Ahaana and him. She would constantly cut her shift back, or make excuses; she would be nodding off at meetings and once she'd fallen asleep at a deposition! She wouldn't tell him that she had actually been fired the day she'd come home with donuts only to find Aditi in the one place that Tanya had always thought would be hers. "They thought I'd be better suited to a different firm. I've been on and off with jobs since then. Samar was my client for some firm I did a background check for two months ago."
Aarav knew he had no right to ask anything more. He'd done this to her. He'd taken his smartest best friend who was well on her way to becoming a top-notch lawyer and ruined her. "I'--I'm sorry." He nodded before reaching forward to tuck Ahaana's hair behind her ear. "But I mean, at least--it helped you find Samar, so I guess there's one positive." Oh, it absolutely killed to say that because he wasn't thinking that was at all any type of positive but he couldn't say those words to her. Instead, he just looked around the room, noting how people were watching them with curiosity. "I'm glad you came. Ahaana really missed you." I really missed you too..
Tanya turned to look at him, her eyebrows furrowed and lips puckered in a frown. "Why are you sorry?" Her voice was hushed and she noted out of her periphery, all the looks that were being thrown in their direction. Tanya wanted to tell them that there was nothing they should have been looking at with such suspicion but she knew that would be a lie, especially considering how she was looking at Aarav right now, with that three o'clock shadow on his face, and her heart was fluttering once again.
Aarav had known that Aditi arriving here would be good for her and for his family considering how she just seemed to mesh well with most people she met. Except Tanya, considering how she spoke to her. But that was common in every girl he'd been with no matter how long or short the time was. They'd all been horrible with Tanya and ultimately that had been one of the reasons even he hadn't wanted to be with them, no matter how much it hurt him to have another failed relationship. Of course, right now he was missing out on one of his favorite traditions of the weekend. A boat trip out to a nearby island before watching the fireworks and light show. Ahaana was feeling down and so, of course, he was home with her, choosing to force everyone else to go because even the time alone would be good for him, what he didn't know until he ventured downstairs while his daughter napped was that Tanya had stayed back as well. "You didn't go? I thought you'd want to spend all your time with Samar." He didn't say it with a hint of malice because with all the time he saw Samar and her together, her smiles were just as beautiful as he remembered and that reassured him that she was happy with this relationship and he wanted that for her.
Tanya looked up from where she had been flipping the channels of the television before shrugging. "Nah, thought I'd take this time to myself. Mom's always hogging the tv anyways so maine socha ki aaj main karti hoon. Besides, the boat trip? That's always been our thing Aarav, I'm not going to share that with Samar." Her eyes widened at the words that had just slipped out and once again her cheeks flushed (the way they always did around him). She bit down on her bottom lip, leaning her elbows on her knees while pretending to be very interested in some lame saas-bahu drama that was playing on the TV.
Aarav heard her words before nodding, he remembered the first time he'd been so seasick on the boat and had been focusing on her to get him through it. And since that time, it had been something they'd always do together. But as quietly as she'd said it, it made him feel so much better to know she thought of it as their thing. He took a seat next to her, ensuring to keep ample distance because while he may not have been in a real relationship with Aditi, from the looks of it--her relationship with Samar was real and Aarav couldn't be the one who ruined that for her. "Tu--tum khush ho na?[/i" The question spilled from his mouth before he'd realized but he still needed to know her answer. Even if she's not, it doesn't matter, his conscience reminded him. Especially considering that she'd taken one look at Aditi and decided to walk away from him, for good.
Tanya decided to scootch in closer to Aarav; they were best friends after all, and she knew that he hadn't really felt anything for her. It had just been familiarity for him. For Tanya, that week was still known as the best week of her life. She stuffed a few kernels of popcorn in her mouth before shrugging at his question. Was she happy? "I'm distracted," was what she decided on, leaning back to rest her head on his shoulder. Why she felt his shoulders tense up, Tanya had no idea. He didn't have any feelings for her, did he?
Aarav didn't understand why she was scooting in closer to him. It didn't make sense considering how she was the one who walked away from him. You're always going to be friends, nothing would take away from that. And so he watched her shrug before explaining how she felt. Distracted in his opinion wasn't exactly the right way to be, but he figured he'd lost the right to say anything. But when Tanya lay her head against his shoulder, he felt extremely vulnerable once more. His stiffened but still raised his hand to wrap around her shoulders allowing her to rest her head against his chest instead. "Why do you need to be distracted, especially--using a relationship to do it? Tum pehle kabhi aisi nahi thi. Waise--I thought you promised I'd be allowed to decide if he was good enough for you?" And Samar Mehra, definitely wasn't good enough for his Tanya.
Tanya shifted comfortably in his embrace, resting her head against his chest and adjusting herself slightly. From this angle she could hear Aarav's heartbeat, the erratic thumping of it. Erratic, that was odd. Tanya frowned before deciding it was probably nothing. She was probably reading too much into it. The same way she had read too much into their relationship which then hadn't even lasted that long. She had just been about to answer his question when she heard Ahaana crying. "I'll go check on her," Tanya excused herself, running up the stairs. Once Ahaana was in her arms, and soothed she murmured a soft word of gratitude to the little girl. She didn't want to answer Aarav's question; didn't want to tell him that she wanted to be distracted so she wasn't reminded that she was in love with him.
Aarav knew it wasn't right anymore for them to be this close. It had been different before when she hadn't been attached and Aarav hadn't either. They could allow themselves to seek the familiarity and the closeness together but now it was crossing a line that they couldn't go near, not when she was in love with another man. It made him question if the love they'd shared that week had been real, but deep in his heart, he had the answer. It had been. Tanya would never have been that close with him, choosing to shut him up with those addictive kisses of hers if she hadn't felt the same as he had. But then why had she walked away? Aarav had no answer and so he chose to say nothing. When he felt her pull away, though, running up to Ahaana, he ended up going after her. He'd been glad that he was given a room where he was connected to Ahaana's nursery through a door connecting the two rooms. But Tanya had gone in through the adjoining room which left the room to his own room open. So he stood there in the doorway, watching Ahaana with her true Mumma, finally feeling like the world was on it's way to becoming right once more.
Tanya had been soothing Ahaana back to sleep when she noticed Aarav in the doorway and gave him a small smile. For a millisecond, it felt as if they were back to who they had been when he had first asked her to help him, and all those months that followed. "She looks just like you when she's sleeping," Tanya confessed after having put Ahaana down and closing the door to the nursery so she and Aarav were both in his room. "Same scrunched up nose, same careless abandon, and same habit of sleeping with your jaw open." She chuckled, remembering how in that week they'd been dating, she'd tried so hard in the mornings to push his jaw shut and eventually given up, deciding instead to wake him up with kisses. Tanya sighed at the memory, feeling her shoulders get slightly heavier.
Aarav smiled back at her, loving the fact that the only person who could really calm his daughter had been Tanya. In fact, he'd only realized it the week after she'd left him. Ahaana had been teething and she'd been crying all through the night and much of the day as well. He'd tried, Rohan had tried and while Aditi had as well, Aarav had called Tanya, desperately seeking her help, because the truth was, only she'd been the one to be able to calm his daughter down in a way that no one else could. Once Ahaana had fallen back asleep, he'd moved back so Tanya could step into his room with him. His own door had been closed as well which meant that after a very long time, the two of them were in a room together. He heard her talk about how he and his daughter were similar and had to resist the urge to tell her how growing up with Tanya, had caused Ahaana to adopt some of her habits as well, especially twirling her hair. Tanya did it when she was stressed, but Ahaana would do it because she wanted to be like her Mumma. "Can I ask you something?" He frowned, taking a seat on the window bench before looking up at her, the tension in his eyes extremely evident. "Why did you leave? Why did you just think I'd jump at the chance to be with Aditi--and not you?"
Tanya exhaled slowly, the look in his eyes was only serving to make her more nervous. Her hand immediately went to her hair as she twirled it between her fingers, wondering if she should just tell him. "Aarav I---" No, she couldn't. She couldn't do it. He'd think she was a complete psycho and then want nothing to do with her. She was with Samar, she couldn't tell him the truth as if she were a single woman! "I've been in love with you since we were sixteen, and you never were no matter how much I wished you'd be!" Tanya gasped at what had just fallen from her lips and immediately covered her mouth, turning away from him as she muttered about how she had to leave, but she felt rooted to the ground, watching her trainwreck of a life.
Aarav had to smile at the way she twirled her hand, about to tell her how Ahaana did it often now too but she spoke and so he just stared at her, waiting to hear what she wanted to say. He could see it in her eyes, she was struggling with something and he wanted to rid her of that feeling, she didn't deserve to deal with whatever it was that was bothering her. But as soon as he heard her words, he found it hard to breathe. How could she? Since they were sixteen, that was--years ago. But it was the last part of her words that had him shell-shocked. He stood when she said she was going to leave and held her hand in his. "How could you say I never was? What did you think that was--right before you left? Did you think I just wanted you because I needed companionship? Tanya main tumse pyaar karne laga tha, I don't know from when but I realized it--that morning when you'd showered in my bathroom. You--were always the most important person in my life, and when you walked away, not even trusting the fact that I'd have chosen you, and not Aditi--it broke my heart. And it was the last rejection I could ever take." He had more to say, but he wasn't--allowed to. She had moved on, she was with Samar now.
Tanya shut her eyes when she felt his fingers enclose around her wrist, turning her to face him. At his words however, she felt a soft squeak escape her. A squeak that she needed to reel in before she started to sob. So Tanya did the only thing that made sense to her in that moment - she surged forward, her lips finding his as she kissed him. In that kiss, Tanya found everything that she had been missing, everything that she had been looking for in those three months that she'd been without Aarav. It had always been him, and Tanya had been fooling herself otherwise.
Aarav kissed her back when he felt her crash into him. His hands were at her waist, until one wrapped around her back so that he could pull her closer in. Until he remembered that there was a six feet tall man in her life, one that she claimed to love and perhaps this right now--was just her wanting to distract him and because of how familiar it was. He pulled away, looking at her before moving her hair back from her face. "You're--you're with him." Aarav closed his eyes and hated himself for saying it out loud, reminded the two of them of why they couldn't go ahead and do this anymore. "I just--I miss you so much," he whispered, making sure she remained close to him and didn't try to run off.
Tanya too shut her eyes when he did at the reminder that she was with Samar. "I'm distracted with him. I'm distracted because I try to keep my mind from coming back to you Aarav, that's where it lives. It lives with you. I wake up, I'm thinking of you. I go to bed, I'm thinking of you. Anything I do, I'm always-- always thinking of you." She leaned back against the wall, hitting her head against it with a sigh. "I'm with him so I stop thinking about you-- it never works." Tanya looked up at him, eyes wide and hopeful.
Aarav closed his eyes when he heard her words. Why was she making this so damn difficult? He loved her, and she loved him. But was it really love? Don't jump ahead of yourself Roy. But when he saw her move away from him, he reached out, but chose not to touch her yet. However, at her words, he found himself unable to resist it. He ended up coming closer, locking her into the wall before smiling at her. "Nothing works," he murmured, "no matter what you try or how hard you try." But he didn't touch her, he chose to hover just in front of her, not quite letting any part of their body touching, mainly because he knew she wasn't going to push him away, she wasn't going to run this time. She couldn't.
Tanya whimpered when he locked her up against the wall. She groaned, wanting to reach for his shirt but somehow he'd managed to place himself in such a way that he was both close yet far. "Nothing," she agreed. It had led to some extremely awkward makeout sessions with Samar, when she'd bit down on her lip so hard it drew blood - all so she wouldn't call out Aarav's name instead of Samar's. It had been worse when she had woken up in a cold sweat from a very conflicting dream. She couldn't remember much except for the sense of pleasure and then Aarav looking up at her from under the sheets. Something inside Tanya cracked and she grabbed at his jeans, fingers curling into the belt loops as she pulled him to her, her lips against his once more.
Aarav had to smile his crooked smile when he managed to elicit such a sinful sounding groan from her lips without even touching her yet. He knew everyone in the house was going to be gone for the night and majority of the day tomorrow which meant there wouldn't be anyone overhearing or walking in and they were virtually alone. He'd been thinking all that when he felt Tanya pull him closer using his belt hoops, making his lips smile a little more when they collided with hers. He couldn't hold back either and allowed his hands to unbutton her shirt, getting stuck at one point and just tugging it a little harder, hearing the broken button fall to the ground before he carried her towards the bed. Aarav had resisted for the week they'd been together, but now the separation had taken its toll on him and he couldn't be without her, he needed her.
Tanya felt a strange surge of panic run through her when he placed her on the bed. Could she do this? After all those years of practically saving herself for Aarav like some desperate nun, would she finally have sex with Aarav Roy? What if he wasn't good at it? Please, her conscience snorted and Tanya got rid of that thought the second she felt his lips at her neck, igniting every single sleeping nerve in her body. She arched up to him, hands in his hair as she allowed him to peel off the layers of clothing on her. Tanya had spent years dreaming of this day, of when Aarav Roy would finally take her virginity and it was finally upon her. Of course she wished it were under better circumstances, but she didn't mind this. His lips came down on hers once again, and oh she definitely didn't mind this at all.
Aarav didn't think she realized just how much pressure he'd put on himself when he'd placed her on the bed. He hovered over her, his lips kissing down every inch of her exposed skin. But he could feel her stiffen for a moment and was about to pull away until he felt her arch into him, her fingers tugging into his hair reminding him of their first kiss on his bedroom floor with her clad in just. a. towel. A part of him had been terrified of living up to whatever expectations she may have from him considering she'd been in love with him for so long, specially now that he knew she had Samar to compare him to.
Tanya let out a breathy moan of his name when she felt him push into her, her hands clutching at his shoulders, grip tightening as she exhaled slowly. The painful feeling slowly dissolved into something much more pleasurable and she moaned softly, so thankful that the entire family would be gone for the night and most of the next day so their only worry would be to wake up the baby. Out of her periphery she glanced at the baby monitor but it didn't blink so Tanya decided that they were in the clear. She let her eyes shut when he kissed her again, this time violins playing the background, a display of fireworks in the distance. It was everything she'd ever imagined and even more. It was perfect.
Aarav pulled away from her once they were done and he'd heard her breathless little moans of his name but continued holding her close. He didn't want to let go of her now, not ever. He pressed his lips against hers once more before snuggling closer, his arms winding around her waist. He wanted to ask her if she was okay, he wanted to make sure he hadn't hurt her, but instead he stayed quiet, just thankful to be having this moment with her--even when he remembered Samar in the situation once again. With a sigh, he tilted her so that she was on her back while she looked up at him. "Tum--theek ho na?" He whispered before kissing her closed eyelids once more before cradling her body close to his, resting his own head in the crook of her neck.
Tanya craned her neck slightly so that she could press a kiss to his hair and her own arms came around him. "Theek hoon, I mean considering that was my first time," she murmured the last part, her cheeks flushing. It was so disgustingly sappy, but she had wanted it to be him and now that it was - she felt relieved. She was relieved that she'd lost it to the only guy she had ever wanted. The first and only guy she'd ever dreamed of doing anything with and she'd gathered some pretty good source material over the years. The topic of Aarav Roy was quite common in the girls' locker room.
Aarav was stunned. "Your first time?" He asked, with his voice dropping many notes before he came closer to her once more. "You--all this time?" He was mainly referring to her relationship with Samar and how she hadn't slept with him. But really to know that he was her first time, it made him feel incredibly good. Her words about being in love with him since they were sixteen just made him realize that maybe in some strange way--she'd been waiting for him. "I don't want to be without you Tanya," he closed his eyes and sighed before swallowing, surprised at how open he was becoming with her. "I've been feeling like I've fallen in love with you so long ago and having to spend even just these three months without you--were horrible." Aarav Roy had to stop watching these stupid romantic movies late at night when he couldn't sleep, it was turning him into a sap.
Tanya giggled at his words. "Oh? Aarav Roy is saying this? Ya phir Aarav Roy ke andar Karan Johar ka bhoot?" She shrieked when she felt his hands at her sides, tickling her and she kicked around as his arms wrapped around her waist. "Okay, okay stop." Tanya was out of breath, her entire face red before she turned to look at at Aarav, her hands resting on his bare chest, feeling his heartbeat go unsteady at her touch. "I love you. I will never stop loving you Aarav." She kissed him then, smiling into it.
Aarav had never been this happy. That one week with Tanya before everything went to pieces, had been nothing compared to how he felt now. He'd already managed to have the difficult conversation with Aditi and had helped her move into a small apartment, her having told him how she still didn't feel ready to be a mother and was rather happy to relinquish all her rights as Ahaana's mother. Everything was working out, and that made him feel like everything was right with the world. He met Tanya outside her apartment building, smiling when he felt her arms wind around her neck while his own were on her waist. "Ahaana's with the sitter tonight," he whispered, mainly because Rohan was also home and he didn't feel right to bring Tanya over when the other man still hadn't been told about this relationship he was embarking on with Tanya. "Hurry," he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind her while she worked on unlocking her front door.
Tanya might have already been slightly tipsy when she met Aarav outside her apartment. It hadn't been her fault; there had been some fundraiser at the law firm she now worked at, and maybe she'd gone a little harder than necessary on the glasses of bubbly. Of course, it was when she had gotten Aarav's text that she realized this night could get a lot more eventful than she had initially planned. "I'm trying," she whispered, missing the lock again and she giggled. At Aarav's impatience though, Tanya tried to focus and finally got the key into the lock, tugging him inside with her. Her lips were at his neck, hands working at his shirt, giggling against his skin when she nearly ripped off a button. "I missed you," she mumbled against his lips, allowing him to press her up against the wall.
Aarav happily let her drag him in, feeling rather wanted with the way she was already trying to rid him of his shirt. This expensive shirt of his was now missing a couple buttons which had him rather amused. "I miss you too," he whispered before switching them around and pushing her up against the wall, his own hands pushing up the silk blouse she was wearing, loving how hot her skin felt to his fingers. The lights turned on suddenly and he pulled away for a second, wondering if he'd pushed her against the switchboard, but apparently there was nothing behind her. "Uh?" he looked at Tanya but instead, he looked up and saw her looking at something behind him with a very peculiar expression on her face. "What? What's up?" He let his lips press against her neck, trying to get her attention back.
Tanya squeezed her eyes shut momentarily when she felt his lips at her neck and her mouth dropped slightly to let out an inaudible moan. When her eyes opened, Samar was still standing there and she realized that she wasn't in fact in a dream, but this was reality. She knew she had to push Aarav off her, to try and make it seem like it wasn't what it was but he was just so damn good with his mouth that Tanya only smiled at Samar, giving him a wink. "What the hell?" His voice echoed in the apartment and that's when she felt Aarav pull away. "Well this is awkward," Tanya muttered, staring down at her heels. She'd been hoping she could avoid this situation altogether. "I thought you were busy tonight!" "I cancelled my plans so we could hang out. But obviously you had better things to do." Tanya flinched at the insinuation and her hand reached for Aarav, before wondering if she didn't have the right to.
Aarav heard another man's voice and pulled away from Tanya, looking behind him to see Samar Mehra standing there in Tanya's apartment, looking incredibly upset and like he wanted to punch Aarav out, causing him to end up on the floor. He looked between Tanya and Samar, realizing that she hadn't yet broken up with him, making him wonder why she hadn't done it yet. Tanya reached for him and he easily slotted into her side, giving her the support she needed against her three-month-old boyfriend. "Look Samar, I guess she just wasn't ready to say that she wanted to break up with you, but I mean--" he looked at Tanya, waiting for her to agree so that he wasn't making her decision for her.
Tanya turned to look at Aarav at the way he stood up for her, how he knew what she needed without her even having to say it. His hand in hers gave her the courage that she needed. "I want to break up with you Samar, I'm sorry." She didn't even have to look at him to know that his face was already scrunched up in anger. "Is that why you dated me? So you could get with him? God Tanya, at least when you were fat you were nice, and not obsessed with getting Aarav Roy. Oh wait, you were still obsessed with him, the difference was you knew he'd never go for you because you weighed the size of three cheerleaders!" Tanya flinched at his accusation and her newfound confidence waned, her hand falling out of his as she wrapped her arms around herself.
Aarav hadn't expected that when he came to Tanya's apartment today that he was going to end up in a physical fight. But when he'd heard the venom Samar was spitting out at them, he couldn't control it. He moved away from Tanya and punched Samar square on the mouth. "This woman has always been the nicest person ever and if your sorry little ego couldn't handle the fact that she doesn't want to be with you, that doesn't mean you go ahead and insult her like this!" He was about to turn back to Tanya but instead--Samar still had his strength and pulled him towards him before punching him a lot more than Aarav had which ended up with him on the floor, bleeding out, and of course being entirely ridiculed in front of the woman he was falling irrevocably in love with.
Tanya buried her face in her hands when the boys started fighting. This was not what she had wanted. Maybe it would have been better to just stay chubby and invisible. She couldn't deal with this. Tottering over to them in her heels, she pushed them apart. "Stop fighting!" Her chest heaved with the effort it took to say those words, and she glared at the two of them. "This is about what I want, not about what either of you deserve! Tum dono ne kabhi mujhse poocha ki main kya chahti hoon? Nahin, sirf assume kar liya!" She crossed her arms, glaring at them. "Out," she pointed to the door, "I want both of you out of my apartment."
Aarav decided that she was being completely unreasonable with both of them, but left anyways. If she believed that Aarav still couldn't understand what she wanted, he wasn't going to push it anymore. He'd go back into his world, and wait for her. If she decided that she'd wanted to be with him, he'd be there and if she decided that maybe Samar was the better, more practical option--he'd understand that too. He understood what it was, the fact that it had taken him so long to accept his love for her when she'd been in love with him for so long, showed him to be an incredibly selfish shallow asshole, and after hearing Samar put it into words, maybe she thought that same way too. And so he collapsed on the couch in his own home, allowing himself the one night to not keep it all together. By the next morning, he was snoring away, a six pack of beer on the floor all emptied out in front of him.
Tanya ended up outside Aarav's apartment the next morning itself, her own head pounding slightly from the drinking she'd done the night prior. She banged against the door, slamming it multiple times before she was finally greeted to the sight of Rohan. "What have you done to him?" Tanya furrowed her eyebrows, looking at him in confusion. "He's all lovesick." Some strange warmth went through Tanya at the thought that he was still in love with her, despite the tantrum she'd thrown last night, despite the fact she hadn't broken up with Aarav. Yet she had some questions and so pushing past Rohan with a unsavory expression she poked at Aarav, holding her nose at the stench of liquor that surrounded him. "Aarav," she murmured softly before eventually kicking him. "Aarav!"
Aarav was annoyed when he felt Rohan poking him awake. Yes he was on the couch and not in his bedroom but really that wasn't this big a deal, and at least--Aarav was still wearing all his clothes. But he was kicked too, and he knew Rohan would never resort to that and so he looked up, and that's when he saw Tanya standing on top of him. "Am I dreaming? I thought you decided you don't want to see me anymore. Oh wait, tum toh Ahaana se milne aayi hogi na?" He gestured for her to go straight through to the nursery before hunching over, his head pounding like crazy.
Tanya huffed when he disregarded her and she got off the couch, not even apologetic about her heels had probably punctured a hole in the leather. She looked around for something when Rohan conveniently handed her a glass of water, a glass which Tanya dumped on Aarav's head. "No kam akkal, I'm here to talk to you!" She huffed once more, feeling a lot like the big bad wolf, crossing her arms. "I want to talk about last night." There was silence - well save for Rohan eating cereal. Tanya wheeled her head to look at him, anger evident in her eyes. "I'll just leave you two alone," was all he said before disappearing into the bedroom.
Aarav had been watching her, a little sleepily which was why he had poor reflexes even when he watched his own friend hand her the glass of water that ended up on his head. "What the hell Tanya?!" Of course, then he realized his voice could wake up their little girl and so he glared at her, unable to understand why exactly she wanted to talk about last night. He continued staring at her with curiosity while Rohan looked thoroughly amused which annoyed him greatly. But then, of course, Tanya got rid of him so they went back to their staring game. "You made yourself very clear last night," he murmured before itching for some coffee, deciding that if they were about to have another one of their famous arguments--he needed some caffeine.
Tanya could spot him trying to leave and so she sat down right in front of him, positioning herself on the coffee table. "I want to make myself even clearer." It was then she looked down at her hands, deflating slightly. "I was thinking about what Samar had said last night... About me." Tanya glanced up at Aarav, her expression a whole lot more vulnerable than before. "Do you--- Do you only like me now because I'm pretty? If this whole thing had happened all over again, but I was still chubby, would you still have shown an interest-- would you still have liked me like you do now?"
Aarav found his heart lurching at her words. She sounded like the old Tanya he'd been friends with since they were children. And it broke his heart to think she didn't believe that he'd have liked her when she looked different like before. Didn't she know that Aarav wouldn't have even been friends with her if the size and shape of her body bothered him? With a sigh, he reached over and took her hand in his, hoping she wouldn't snatch it away without listening to him. "No matter if you ended up gaining 50 points right now, or ended up shrinking some more, I'd still love you." Taking a deep breath he shrugged, "I fell in love with you because I could finally see you and your personality up close and personal. Tum jitni caring ladki maine aaj tak nahi dekhi. Your heart is so big and filled with love for everyone, no matter who it is." Aarav used his free hand to gently rest against her cheek when he spoke again. "I was an idiot in school, focused on all the other girls, that I didn't realize all I'd ever needed--was you."
Tanya let her eyes shut when she felt his hand on her cheek, resting her own hand atop his. "Yeah, you were an idiot," she reiterated, laughing at the scandalized expression on Aarav's face. Moving off the coffee table, Tanya dusted the lint off her skirt before taking a seat next to him on the couch. "I guess I knew that, I knew that you loved me but I was just scared because well-- It felt too much like a dream. The boy I've been pining after for the better part of my life suddenly likes me back? Aisa lag raha tha ki bhagwan was playing a joke on me you know?" Tanya turned her cheek to kiss him when she caught a whiff of his liquor breath and blanched. "Yeah go shower, then I'll think about kissing you."
Aarav nodded at her words, he could understand why it would feel like a bad joke or something even if he knew in his heart that it was nothing of the sort. "We rushed into this both times too quickly, and so if you need time to really--think it through, I'm okay with that." He stood when she told him to go showe with a grin before turning back from the hallway. He wanted to tell her that Samar was probably the better option for her since he wasn't a father already and forcing her into adapting into the mother's role right off the bat; plus Aarav could tell that the other man really was falling in love with her. Instead he just leaned against the wall and smiled. "I don't want you to make a choice that you're not 100% confident on. So think about it," he turned on his heel to head into his bedroom, knowing that if his daughter woke up, she'd have her Mumma there to take care of her.
Tanya frowned at his words, putting unnecessary pressure on her bottom lip, worrying it. She stood up, following after him into the bedroom; her fingers wrapped around his wrist, tugging her back to him. "I've had time ever since I was sixteen Aarav. This is the only choice that I'm a hundred percent sure of." Her eyes met his, hoping that she could see the honesty in them. "I don't want to think about it anymore, I've always wanted you. I'm not going to start wanting anybody else now, you're stuck with me."
Aarav had just finished tossing his fresh clothes on the bed, realizing just how foul he was smelling thanks to his night of tossing back a few too many bottles of beer. But he just grabbed his towel when he was pulled back by her. Aarav smiled at her words though, wondering if she could see just how happy they made him. "I'm never stuck with you," he murmured wishing he could kiss her, but didn't because she was right--he smelt terrible. "Since you were sixteen huh? Kabhi kuch kaha kyun nahi?" But at the same time, he was glad she hadn't considering if she had--he'd have never been given the gift of his daughter.
Tanya raised an eyebrow at him. "Tumhe kuch kehti? Tu duniya ka sabse bada dil phek aashiq tha. I saw you go through girl after girl after girl and you came back worse for wear every time. I was your best friend Aarav, it was my job to be your shoulder to cry on, not to be the girl who you dated." And Rohan had certainly reminded her of that enough times too, forcing Tanya to build up a barrier around her heart so strong that nobody had managed to penetrate it except for Ahaana, subsequently letting Aarav in too. "Agar main kuch kehti, humari dosti ruin ho jaati."
Aarav shook his head at her words. "You know it wasn't entirely like that. Yes I was an asshole and a dil phek aashiq, but that didn't mean I wouldn't have seen you for who you were." But when he heard her words about ruining their friendship, he couldn't help but laugh. "Nothing could ruin this. I mean Tanya, you've been there in my worst moments ever, and that means nothing could've touched us." He took her hand though, deciding whether or not he should just leave with those words. "But Tanya, maybe this was meant to take this long. Agar hum yeh sab pehle karte--toh shayad meri zindagi mein Ahaana nahi aati, aur phir tum bhi nahi aati wapas aise. Reconnecting this way with you, just meant so much to me."
Tanya smiled at his words before she let her eyes shut as she leaned forward, meeting his lips for a gentle kiss, the kind of first kiss every girl ever dreamed about. Sure, her first kiss with Aarav had been magnetic and passionate on the floor of his bedroom but it wasn't like this. It wasn't soft, and romantic and all the things that Tanya had dreamed of after reading her romance novels. "I love you Aarav Roy, and I love our little girl. So will you," she paused, getting down on one knee, "will let be a part of this family? I promise to love Ahaana, to take care of her and raise her to be a smart young girl. I promise to love you more and more every single day, and to always be with you."
Aarav had his lips puckered to kiss her back softly when he felt her lean forward. Although, her words from earlier, and the fact that he still had 'beer breath' made him laugh for a moment when he backed away from her. He was about to reiterate his feelings towards her, but she suddenly lowered herself to the marble floor and he was a bit stunned. He knew women always said the reasons for their utter surprise and shock was because this was something they'd never expected and unfortunately--Aarav knew exactly what they meant. He was still looking down at Tanya in complete surprise, before remembering how hard that floor really was. And so he sat down and helped her over to him so that while he was seated cross-legged, she could be more comfortable on top of him. "You're already a part of his family," he whispered before leaning in to kiss her nose. "Ahaana's been yours from the moment she had her fingers wrapped around your hair." And that's when he told her about all the little things that Ahaana had embodied from Tanya even in the short time they'd spent together. "So really, what I need to ask you, is to let me make it official. Akhir lawyer ho na? Sab kuch sahi tarah se karna hai." He took a deep breath before grinning at her. "No matter how many girls I've tried to date, know that this is something I've never done with any of them." He held onto her hands, "Miss. Tanya Sen, kya tum mujhse shaadi karogi? Aur humari Ahaana ki Mumma officially banogi?" He could already imagine the look on their daughter's face when she realized that finally her Mumma would be there all the time.
Tanya looked at him, her mouth forming a perfect little o, eyebrows raised before she squealed, wrapping her arms around him. Perhaps she'd tackled him with too much force because he was now laying on the ground, Tanya on top of him as she peppered him with kisses. "Yes, yes, yes! A million times yes! I'll marry you!" She had a thousand questions, but for now she would keep them in - all those things could be sorted out later. Her hands had just begun to undo the buttons on his shirt when she heard a noise from the baby monitor and groaned, burying her face in his chest. "Every time."
chorus teacher: ok do you guys want to try to sing against the altos
sopranos: yeah i think thatll help
sopranos: *immediately match altos and forget all their notes as soon as they start singing*
