Sooo I came [back] to the SPN fandom after many many years of being completely out and [thanks to my dearest] this time I'm going to fully dedicate myself to wincest.
Naturally, I'm a multishipper. I don't care much how many other pairings with my fav chars exist / usually I ship more than one thing per fandom or per character.
The Winchesters. Sam and Dean. Dean and Sam. I hear how their names merge in my head into something entwisted so much it'll never get unraveled again.
In my usual little doll plays with the characters I prefer to go rather dark. Rather sick. Sometimes, rather dirty. Not for the sake of general evilness, naturally and inevitably inherent to being an artist, but for the sake of feelings.
The contrast is better where it's darker. The light is brighter. The love is sweeter when there's pain, the hope is luminous when there's despair. The contrast enhances the emotional impact.
But Dean and Sam? Sam and Dean?
They already have it. They have everything and anything. The pitch black and the beam light. It's been made canon, probably, years ago.
Then I thought: what had ever made my brain go full-time crazy mod? What had ever squeezed my heart so tight I couldn't breathe?
Here are some of the best [imo] moment of my other fandom's biggest OTPs. Some ships are canon, some are not. But all of the moments DID canonically happens. [I'm using X & Y so it's more descriptive]
X & Y are constantly being forced to fight each other despite their genuine connection. the forcing power massively prevails their own. that's how their relationship starts... and how it ends, with X finally forced to kill Y. then X has to restart the whole world so they could be together again.
X & Y met when both were mentally down and then spent a horrible amount of time being tortured in the cruelest way alongside each other. later, they could let go of their twisted connection. but they don't.
X silently begs Y to kill him after committing the Literally Worst Crimes Possible for which he'll never forgive himself. Y complies. Y never stops thinking about X.
X spends his whole life protecting Y with growing understanding that Y will never accept his nature.
X sacrifices himself sexually, mentally and physically at once to the person he despises the most - simply in order for Y to get away from that monster.
X (who's kind of been a psycho murderer) went through a terrible experience where half his personality got destroyed. Y takes care of him despite the previous attempt of X to kill Y in cold blood. They end up fixing it (in a way).
X is obsessed with Y to a weird, absolutely not redeemable level. Body dismemberment included.
X is successfuly fighting the massive-level brainwashing so he doesn't hurt Y, although everyone they both knew and loved die around them.
X goes so mental after Y dies that he is committing a terrorist attack suicide so the world could feel their pain.
X goes full on self-sacrifice during a rescue attempt for Y [okay that's way more than one thing but it gets me every time!]
X says "Hey Y, we die together or no way at all". and so they do.
X never recovers after betraying Y and later goes through big torture time with the thought it was deserved for that betrayal.
X & Y [& a kid] slash through an endless amount of enemies so they could be a family together
X & Y are destined to be together but they go "fuck destiny"... and stay together for who they are.
X & Y fight together against a clearly overpowered villain. and win.
X & Y seem to desperately want to finish each other off but never act upon it when there's an opportunity. they're so different that they're the same.
X dies in a stupid accident. Y tries to save his life, and, when it's not possible anymore, dies alongside, refusing to live in a world without him.
X dies and Y can't let go of the corpse. Even when the rotting visibly starts.
X has memory issues but he's done some terrible things (child murder, massacre). There is solid proof. Y does not believe that for a second, because Y knows X to the core.
None, I mean it, none of these is wincest.
But, looking back... How many of them fit to be? How many of them could fit with the right situation? How many of literally (imo) most heart-moving tropes seem to be made for this pairing of brothers whose love trascends any normal limits?
So, yeah... I'm really gonna dedicate myself to wincest these days.