boothill doesn’t take the breakup seriously in the way you do. at first it’s just messages you don’t answer. then it turns into a pattern you start recognizing… new numbers, new accounts. he’s testing how many doors you can lock before he decides none of them can keep him away from you. when you block him everywhere, it doesn’t stop anything. it just delays him. he shows up again in different forms, like the internet is something he can keep rerouting through.
he’ll send voice messages from accounts you don’t recognize. he’ll switch tone mid-thread like he’s trying different versions of himself until one gets a response out of you. sometimes it’s casual, sometimes it’s annoyed, sometimes it’s like nothing happened at all and you’re the one being weird for not replying. it’s always there though. always more messages than you can realistically read.
you start muting him, blocking him, ignoring everything. and still, it keeps coming. it’s not even always emotional. sometimes it’s just updates about his day, random thoughts, things he knows you’d recognize as “for you.” he’s refusing to accept that there’s a version of your life where he’s not constantly talking into it.
you try to confront him once it gets too much. you tell him to stop. properly, clearly. he listens… but only long enough to respond like you’re exaggerating the situation. he laughs a little and says something like you always do this, you get overwhelmed and shut people out and then you’ll come back when you’re done being like this.
even after that, nothing really changes. it just shifts platforms again. new accounts, new numbers, new ways in. blocking boothill doesn’t remove him from your life, and he’ll keep reminding you of it.
mydeimos doesn’t react to the breakup like it’s something that changed his access to you. it’s more like he just stops acknowledging that “after him” is supposed to mean anything. you notice it in the absence of people first. guys you were talking to, even casually, just… stop showing up. they don’t tell you what happened. they don’t argue with you. they just go quiet, or vanish from your orbit completely.
at first you think it’s coincidence. bad timing. people being flaky. then it keeps happening in a pattern you can’t ignore, but also can’t prove. anyone who gets close to you after him either backs off suddenly or acts like they don’t want to be involved in your life at all. and it’s never explained.
you only start understanding something is wrong when you realize it’s not just dating or flirting or anything obvious. it’s anyone. coworkers acting uncomfortable. mutuals avoiding you. people you don’t even remember mentioning him to suddenly treating you differently.
when it finally clicks and you confront him, he just looks at you like you’re slow to catch up. like this was always going to be the outcome and you’re only now noticing the structure of it. when you ask him directly if he’s involved, he doesn’t say yes immediately. he just asks why it matters if it’s already working.
he tells you, very calmly, that you keep putting yourself in situations where people get close enough to “be a problem.” it’s not about him interfering, it’s about you creating conditions that require interference. it doesn’t sound like anger. it sounds like correction. he’s explaining something you should’ve already understood about how things work now.
when you push back, when you actually get upset and tell mydei to stop, that’s when the tone changes. only slightly. he tells you not to make him repeat himself. a warning that he’s getting tired of explaining rules you keep ignoring.
phainon doesn’t take the breakup like a clean ending. it turns into something he keeps trying to reopen. at first it’s messages you don’t answer, then calls you ignore, then showing up near places you go like he’s trying to catch you in a moment where you’ll “finally be normal about it.” when you don’t respond, he escalates in a way that feels less aggressive and more… emotionally exhausting. he can’t accept silence as an answer, so he fills it with himself.
he shows up at your door eventually. he’s been waiting for the moment you’d eventually have to open it. when you do, he’s already emotional in a way that makes the whole situation harder to deal with than it should be. he’s not yelling. he’s upset, visibly. he’s been holding it in for too long and decided your doorstep is where it finally comes out. he talks like you’re the one who left without explaining anything, even if you did.
when you don’t let him in, he doesn’t force it. he just stays there long enough that it becomes uncomfortable. like time is supposed to make you change your mind. if he stands there long enough, the situation will eventually correct itself.
he starts involving other people. your friends. people around you start getting messages from him, long ones, emotional ones, half apology and half confusion. he’s trying to recruit witnesses for a version of the breakup where he isn’t the one being cut off. he talks to them like they’re supposed to understand him, like they have access to a missing piece of you that he needs translated.
you find out phainon has been showing up at your building even when you’re not home. not breaking in, not doing anything obvious, just sitting outside or lingering nearby like he’s trying to “be there when you’re ready.” and sometimes he leaves things. small, harmless-looking things that are always timed in a way that feels too intentional to be random. little reminders that he can find your space even when you’re not offering it.
you confront him, and he just looks tired. he’s been waiting for you to catch up to a version of events he already fully believes in. when you tell him it needs to stop, he doesn’t argue loudly. he just says something like he doesn’t know how to disappear from your life when you’re still in his head all the time.
anaxa doesn’t react to the breakup emotionally. it turns into something more controlled than that. at first it’s just small disruptions you try to ignore. things not saving properly, accounts getting locked at the worst times, files corrupting right when you need them. nothing you can directly trace, nothing obvious enough to prove anything, just enough to make your day slightly harder every time you try to move on without him.
you start noticing it’s not random though. it follows your attempts to distance yourself. every time you try to cut contact fully, something important suddenly stops working in your life. then he reappears like nothing happened, calm as ever, acting like a normal conversation is still possible between you two. the outside chaos has nothing to do with him at all.
you finally confront him and anaxa just listens first, like he’s waiting for you to finish saying something he already accounted for. then he starts reframing it. he talks about how unstable things have been for you lately, how stressful your environment is, how easy it is for people to misinterpret patterns when they’re overwhelmed. he never says he did anything, he just makes it sound like your life is already fragile enough that things like this would naturally happen.
after that conversation, the problems don’t stop, but feel more intentional in timing. right after arguments. right after you try to assert distance again. your reactions themselves are being folded into the pattern.
you try blocking him, cutting him off completely, changing everything you can think of. nothing really holds for long. access gets restored somewhere, something resets, something important goes wrong at the exact moment you feel like you’ve finally gained a bit of control back.
anaxagoras never seems surprised by your resistance. everything you try to do to escape him is already something he expected you to try.
blade doesn’t really “stay in your life” after the breakup in a normal sense. it feels more like he never fully leaves the edges of it. you start noticing him in places that don’t make sense at first. far enough away that you can’t prove it’s him, close enough that you start doubting your own memory of what you saw. a figure across the street. someone standing where no one was a second ago. a presence that disappears when you look directly at it.
there are no messages, no calls, nothing you can block or report… just the feeling that you’re being observed in moments that are usually private. walking home, waiting alone, standing in quiet spaces where there shouldn’t be anyone paying attention to you at all. every time you turn your head too quickly, there’s nothing there. you’re always a second too late.
when you try to confront it, there’s nothing to actually confront. you ask people if they’ve seen anyone around you, and they haven’t. you check cameras, routes, timing, anything you can think of. it never lines up cleanly enough to confirm. it starts making you feel ridiculous for even thinking about it, which only makes you notice it more.
there are the moments that don’t feel like coincidence anymore. places you definitely didn’t tell anyone about, but feel wrong the moment you arrive because something about it already feels “seen.” things slightly out of place when you get home. small evidence that someone was there and left before you could catch up to them.
if you ever do finally see blade clearly, it’s brief. never a full conversation. never a proper encounter. just enough for your stomach to drop before he’s gone again, like he only exists in passing moments that are too short to react to properly.
it just keeps happening until you start adjusting your own life around the idea that you might never actually be alone in it again.
Summary: Dennis forgets the plans you had together.. again.
Word count: 2.2k!
Content warnings: afab reader, hurt/comfort?? angsty, lwk rlly depressing, not rlly accurate to canon in some parts, don’t question it too much.. not the best but atleast no ai was used.
Notes: I hope you, person reading this rn, enjoy this fic! Please like and reblog, it’s helps me sm<3.
You were in the locker room as your shift had just come to an end. You sprinted to get your stuff, for one, to get out of there, and also, because you were pretty excited about your plans with Dennis today.
There in the room already was Trinity, getting her stuff. “I swear to God is this door gets jammed again-“ she fought with the locker door, which miraculously gave up as she was planning to punch it open. “Yes!”
You chuckled seeing the whole thing. Then, reaching your own locker, praying you don’t meet the same fate. As this happened, Whitaker also entered the room. He rushed to his locker, getting his stuff in a frenzy.
As you were about to teasing him asking if his demeanor was due to his excitement about the plans you had, Trinity interrupted. “Woah huckleberry. Pretty excited to go see your farm widow I see.”
You swallowed hard, all the excitement you had leaving your body in the blink of an eye. You tried hard to say something, to protest. But it was alright, right? Amy needed support. She was going through a lot. You couldn’t even fathom how horrible she must have felt after her husband passed. You had a smile on your face, the one left from seeing him enter just now, but it had no emotions left in it.
“God no, Trinity. I told you to not make comments like that.” He replied, annoyed, not even looking at her, just his things.
You held yourself together, finally being able to spit something out. “What happened with Amy?”
What didn’t happen with Amy? You felt so selfish for thinking like this, she clearly needed support. Besides, it’s not like Dennis and you are anything. You can’t reclaim his time, you just gotta suck it up. There was always something going on with her, so it wasn’t uncommon for Dennis to cancel plans to go help her in the farm. Still, the ordinary nature of this didn’t make it sting less.
Somehow, Amy’s problems always managed to interrupt you when Dennis and you had some time for yourselves. Working in the ER, it’s not like you really have any time, and if you do, you just wanna rot in bed. Like that time when he burned himself with coffee, or most recently, at the park after shift.
It had been a long day. You even had to stay after hours because of a mass casualty after a fire in a nearby apartment complex. All of day shift had went to the park, as usual, to drink some booze and decompress for a while.
Dennis and you were distanced from the group, still close enough so you don’t seem absent. You were exhausted, not even making an effort to talk. He managed to know how to talk to you without using words.
He was alongside you, just looking around. His fingers brushed yours. You noticed, looking up at him. He smiled, you didn’t. You just kept looking at him. It’s not that you didn’t want him there, you were just tired. And he understood.
His hand traced around your back, reaching your waist gently, and pulling you a little closer. His finger started moving, caressing you. You smiled then, not big, just a lopsided grin.
“Wanna go home?” He whispered, and that was the only thing he said during that while. You nodded, waving goodbye to everyone and walking with him to your apartment.
While walking out of the park, he kept brushing your fingers, like he was hesitating if it was okay to hold your hand. Until you reached out for his, tracing circles with your thumb on it. He stopped then, still gripping your hand, but now right in front of you, looking down to meet your eyes.
You moved your head to the side, curiosity and adrenaline filling your entire body. He kept looking at your lips, holding your hand tighter without noticing. With his other hand, he moved a hair on your face behind your ear, it lingered there for a little too long, like he was deciding if he should it. It felt like this was something he finally got the courage to do tonight, but seeing you so tired made himself reconsider.
Truth is you wouldn’t feel bothered. More so, right now it was the best moment. You felt so exhausted, you really needed some stress relief. You were impatient, and when it looked like he had made up his mind—
His phone started buzzing uncontrollably. He looked at you, his eyes saying “I’m sorry”. He started scrambling, letting go of your hands and struggling to get his phone out. When he did, his eyes widened at he looked at the screen. “Shit, it’s Amy. I need to call her, sorry.” Before you could even say it was okay, he had dialed her number.
“Just, her baby is not feeling well. She’s panicked.” He answered, this reply stopping your train of thought. He looked worried.
“Oh, oh my. I hope everything is alright.” You said, sincerely, but pretty awkwardly. That poor woman, you’d never wish that worry on anyone. But still a bitter seed sat in your heart.
“Yeah, uh—I’ll get going guys.” He said to you and Trinity, you could tell by how he looked he had forgotten about your plans.
You couldn’t be mad at him, even less at Amy. It was not their fault. And he was just being helpful. But the thoughts in your head still lingered. You wouldn’t blame him, she’s beautiful. She’s the kind of women his parents would’ve love for him to fall in love with. She’s a farm girl for gods sake! You know nothing about farms. You’re probably more different from him than you thought, maybe you confused everything. He’s so friendly with everyone, maybe he was just being friendly with you too. Well, actually, for now you are just friends, right?
Entering the apartment with Trinity, waiting for her to get the key out of the lock so you can squeeze right past to get to your bed, she starts talking. “Who pissed on your cereal?” She said, with a chuckle to ease the tension. You hadn’t noticed how quiet you were the way home.
She made space for you to enter before her, and when you did, she closed the door behind you both. Now standing there, waiting for you to answer. “Sooo?” She insisted.
“I’m alright. Just, you know, work.” You lied, pathetic. She could tell.
“Just work? Damn. This has been the slowest day on this ER since months. But whatever you say.” She was snarky, not really looking at you. But you could tell even in her meanest tone, that she worried.
Your plans with Dennis today were to go to the movie theater to watch a movie you guys have been excited about since it got announced. But, your work schedule being so tight already, you guys hadn’t really found a time to watch it. It was already announced it would be removed from the theater soon, but thankfully you guys had found a day to go see it. That day was well, today, before Amy called.
You decided to go anyway, instead of laying on your bed staring into the ceiling. Maybe taking a bath and removing your scrubs would make you feel a little better, so you did just that. Walked out, got dressed, just that same hoodie Dennis gave you months ago, and some sweats. You didn’t have much energy left to dress more decently, and you were just going to the movie theater. Alone, at that.
When you got ready to leave, Trinity had already left to stay with Garcia for a while. So you were really, really alone. You reached for you phone, in the back of your mind the lingering thought of him remembering and texting you something, only to be left disappointed. The only text there was from Trinity when she left, telling you to stop by and get some avocados if you went out.
To make matters worse, the theater was almost empty. The only ones there, asides from you, were a young couple that looked like they didn’t really come here to watch the movie. You sat there with your snacks, still thinking about him maybe remembering your plans and texting you something. And feeling extremely pathetic for it.
Halfway through the movie, you were actually immersed, forgetting for a while about Dennis and Amy and them probably eating at her house with a meal she cooked herself because she is so perfect and—God, get over yourself.
Your phone was now actually on silent mode, since you managed to get your Instagram account filled with bots spamming you about porn websites.
What you didn’t notice then, was Dennis’s messages. Tons of them. Spamming you because while heading back home after reassuring Amy her baby was going to be okay, he remembered about the movie date—I mean, the movie. Yeah. Of course he didn’t think it was a date. (That’s what he told himself.)
9:32 P.M. around 2 and a half hours after the shift ended.
— Dennis
Hey! Are you home?
Was today the movie?
9:35 P.M
— Dennis
It was today right? I’m so sorry I forgot
I’ll make it up to you.
Are you home? Maybe I can get us some food
We can watch something else?
9:42 P.M
— Dennis
IM SO SORRY
I’ll get you your favorite ice cream
And some food
I’ll be there soon alright?
10:00 P.M
— Dennis
ILL BE THERE IN 25!!
I’m sorry
10:25 P.M
— Dennis
WHERE R U??
you’re not here?
hello???
Oh my god are you okay?
Hello!!!
He was now worried sick, meanwhile you laughed at corny jokes on the screen. Munching down popcorn meanwhile the couple near you munched on eachother. You were completely unaware that the spamming now came from Dennis instead of Instagram bots. He panicked, calling Trinity to know where you were.
— “Trinity! Hello??”
Trinity, already annoyed that her ramen in bed with Yolanda got interrupted. “Geez dude. Calm down. What do you need?”
— “Um.” He tried to seem calm, to not scare her. “Yeah do you know where—“
“She’s in the movie theatre, I think she was going with someone. I don’t remember, she didn’t seem that good earlier.”
— “Shit. I’m such an ass.”
“Wait.” Something clicked in her brain. “She was going with you! I knew it! And you left her? You are such an asshole!” She laughed, making fun of the usually always-there-for-everyone Whitaker failing you.
— “Goodbye Trin.” He hung up.
He arrived at the movie theater, practically running inside. “Sir, the movie already started at 9:15 P.M, It’s ending soon.” The staff at the counter told him, but he didn’t care, paying full price just to sit there with you for less than 30 minutes. A lame attempt to make it up to you.
Inside, he saw you, having to pass carefully by the pretty busy young couple just to get to you.
You didn’t see him, the theatre was dark and you were too fixated on the screen trying your best to keep your mind occupied. Until, you felt a presence sit beside you.
You looked around, seeing him there, his hair all messy and his face tired. “Dennis?” You called out, confused.
“Did I make it on time?” He joked, watching you there. He couldn’t admit how much he liked seeing you in his hoodie. Still, he felt guilty for leaving you alone.
“Almost didn’t make it. How’s Amy’s baby?”
“Good. Nothing to worry about.”
“I’m glad.”
You returned back to the screen, a lot of thoughts racing through your head but not really saying anything. Dennis also didn’t say anything, he just sat there beside you. He didn’t dare to touch you, as he thought he had failed you and it wasn’t appropriate to try and hold your hand and pretend everything was alright when the air was so tense.
Not long after, the movie had ended. You stood, and Dennis was right behind you. Still, you evaded talking about the elephant in the room, about how you felt, instead replacing it with plain commentary on the film. That could easily be resumed with “I liked it but I’ve seen better.”
He listened to all of it anyways, really taking in what you were saying, even if he sometimes didn’t understand. You walked out of the theater, and he offered you a ride as you had walked to get here. Everything about you two interacting was a bit awkward, so he decided to break the silence in the parking lot before entering the car.
He called out your name softly, “I’m sorry.
I’m sorry this happened and all the times before.”
“You don’t have to be sorry.”
“Yeah but—“
“Dennis, it’s okay.”
His eyes looked full of shame. Yours were tired, but you knew he meant well.
So, you sucked it up. It wasn’t your place to bug him about who he sees. He was just your friend, that’s all, you had not authority over him. You wouldn’t even there to imply so.
Do you have any thoughts on the “joker box” solution to prevent the joker from harming others while still following the Batman’s “no kill” rule?
I...feel like some people either don't understand why superheroes HAVE "no kill rules". Or if they do they use these sorts of extremely obtuse debates in an attempt to undermine them. Both of which DEEPLY concern me. Because the fact that superheroes do not kill those that oppose them should be simplicity itself to understand. In fact, it's one of those things that should be universally agreed upon policy.
Simply put: No one elects a superhero. Superheroes are not a jury of your peers.
As much as we all love and trust Superman (and we should, he's earned it) that does not give him the right to decide who lives and who dies. NO ONE has that power. Certainly not singularly. And more and more the modern states of the world have decided that even a legal jury does not have the right to condemn their fellow man to death, no matter what the crime. Because death is the one "solution" that A. almost never solves anything and B. that you can't take back.
But let's engage with the prompt at hand. Would this be a workable solution to "solving" the Joker as a problem for society at large?
HELL. NO. Even if we got rid of the Joker the cure would be FAR worse than the disease!
The very IDEA of encouraging Batman, a masked vigilante who stalks the streets in the dark to abduct, mutilate and intern a fellow human being for a crime it is not his job to charge, prosecute or punish. It's an immediate, violent and horrifying overreach of the Joker's constitutionally protected human rights. And yes, the Joker has those. And he deserves to have them. And he deserves to have them applied to him in the strictest sense, without any exception or alteration. Because if your human rights can be taken away from you. For any reason. They're not rights. And the second we as a society start deciding who do or don't "deserve" to be treated as human beings...
That is a pendulum that will swing back on you faster than you can say "bit me in the ass".
The fact that the Joker continues to escape, wreck havoc, and be placed back in a situation where he can repeat the cycle is neither Batman's fault nor his responsibility. His "job" such as it has been accepted by the society around him is to stop the immediate threat of violent crime before people can be irreversibly harmed. Prisoners, the prosecution and hopeful rehabilitation thereof is the directive of the state and by extension those of us who support the state through our taxes, voting and general civil obedience. You want the Joker to become less of a threat in future? Vote prison reform. The Gotham judicial system has been trying to move his ass to Blackgate for YEARS but there are laws in the way specifically to prevent those in enforced mental healthcare from being transferred to criminal penitentiaries for "misbehavior"
This is actually a REALLY good law, and a sign of Gotham's deeply progressive character. Because 99% of the time when a mental patient is being threatened with incarceration at a criminal facility its because of overreach or abuse by staff. Putting the Joker in Blackgate needs to be done in such a way where it doesn't open the door for a suicidal 14 year old to be shipped there because she spoke up when a nurse was stealing from her purse.
The idea of giving a this kind of power to a man whose NAME is not even known to the public is horrifying.
The idea that people are trying to come up with justifications as to why it would be ok just this once? Is doubly so.
I THINK THAT IF YOU PUT A CERTAIN HASH TAG THEN THE HEART IS AUTOMATICALLY THAT FLAG. IM GOING TO USE THE LESBIAN FLAG AS A TEST RUN SO PLEASE ANSWER THE POLL HONESTLY.
IF THE ANSWER IS NO, TYPE WHAT FLAG YOU GOT INTO THE COMMENTS
DID YOU GET THE LESBIAN FLAG?
yes
no
just got a red heart
Remaining time: 6 days 4 hours
PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG THIS SO MORE PEOPLE CAN TEST MY THEORY🙏
꒰ 𝓢ummary ❥ You should really be more careful with your stuff, especially if it includes personal or embarrassing stuff!
꒰ 𝓣ags ❥ First fanfic ⸝⸝ lesbians ⸝⸝ fluff ⸝⸝ best friends to lovers ⸝⸝ yearning ⸝⸝ slightly suggestive ⸝⸝ mentions of violence ⸝⸝ Butchfemme (reader is a hopeless romantic coded hyperfemme) ⸝⸝ reader fell first and Clarisse fell harder!
꒰ 𝓐/𝓝 ❥ Reader is an Aphrodite camper, and Clarisse is butch in my writing but it's not mentioned in this fanfic! ૮₍ • ˕ - ₎ა♡
Click, click, click..
You sat in your cabin, dazedly clicking your pen as you swung your feet in the air. You've been in the same position for the last hour, figuring out how to start your diary entry. A lot happened today and you couldn't think straight, your heart was racing.
You didn't know where to start, you couldn't decide on chronological order or just blabbering out your girlish excitement on paper—but you hated not being able to understand your notes when you read them later on, so you chose the latter.
꒰ D/at/e ❥ 𝓓ear diary.. Today might've been the best day of my stupid demigoddess life. I know I say that every entry, but Gods, I might mean it this time. To start, this morning, Clarisse kicked her own brother, like actually kicked with her foot, off the seat next to her to make space for me.
I know it's kinda disrespectful to my mother to not sit at my table, but certainly she has to understand! I'm so in love it's embarrassing, and love is her thing!
Anyways, when I took the seat next to her, she hooked her arm around my shoulder and gave me that damn grin. That one! Gods, I could squeal just thinking about it. I'm so fucked! I had to play it cool though, and thank Aphrodite I did. However, I lost my cool completely when later, an hour after lunch. Sh
Bang!
Your head whirled around to your cabin door while you hurriedly shut your diary and shoved it under your pillow, breath hitching even higher than before as you clicked your pen closed and quickly put it into the pen cup on your head board.
"Clarisse!" You said breathlessly, sitting up and sucking in air so you didn't look panicked. Clarisse seemed to notice, but by a miracle she said nothing and just slammed the door behind her. She didn't say anything until she got close enough to drop herself onto your bed right next to you, taking up most of the mattress' space. It's not like you cared though.
"Hey, loser." She greeted blandly, her arms crossed over her chest. Even when you're one of the few people she actually cared about, sweet nicknames didn't come easy. Though it didn't make you upset, you were obviously used to it.
"Hi. Uhh.. What are you doing here?" 'You interrupted my time to gush over you in my diary' is what you wanted to say, and you're glad Ares kids can't read minds, because she just shrugged casually—the complete opposite of what your mind was.
You were trying so hard not to stare, but her biceps looked like they were reflecting light just to grab your attention. They were so smooth depsite being scarred.
'What I'd do just to get a bite..'
She jabbed you in the shoulder to grab your attention, and you jolted out of it.
"Earth to dumbass!" She snapped.
"Sorry! What were you saying?" You squeaked, adrenaline rushing through you like sugar in a kid.
She scoffed, trying not to laugh. She saw how you were staring. She always did. Yet she never said anything, because if she'd ever brought it up, she was terrified she'd stutter and do a shit job at flirting with you. Ares kids stuck to one thing for a reason.
But fuck does she love it when the girl of her dreams stares at her.
"I said I'm here to bother you, obviously. I'm allowed to come over whenever I want." She snarked, nudging you again—but just soft enough not to hurt, only to wobble you a little.
You giggled a bit, to make up for the fluttery feeling in your stomach. If you didn't giggle at least a little, you might squeal in giddiness. Even looking at her made you want to take a large bite out of her.
"I didn't say you couldn't, and also, you'd break in anyway. But seriously, bothering me? Is that all?" 'Did you come over because you wanted to see me? Am I on your mind like you're on my mind? Do you love me? Tell me you do. I wish I was your girl.'
She shrugged casually again, leaning back and kicking off her shoes to lean against the wall. "That and see if you had any snacks I could eat. I'm on dessert ban again." She lied smoothly, to not give away the fact you were on her mind all day and she was sure she was going to punch someone if she didn't see you soon.
Your heart sank a little because you couldn't get a single read from her just by those two boring sentences. Snacks? Really? Fuck, you wished she'd just kiss you. Your lipgloss is sweet like candy.
But you didn't say that, of course. Instead, you just pulled out your candy jar from under the bed and passed it over. She grinned, unscrewing it to grab all her favorites—that you only had for her anyway. You knew she knew this part at least, because she always took all of them, and usually she'd spare some food for you.
The next day came quick. Clarisse was busy with punishments for the rest of that evening, so it all ended pretty fast, despite neither of you truly wanting to part. At least you were able to finish your diary entry, which took up about two pages, front and back. There was a lot of freaking out in there.
The morning was quick too, and so was the evening. It felt quick because you were with Clarisse the entire day, yapping off each other's ears while the passerby's stared at you both like you each grew two heads, because no one got that close to Clarisse unless they wanted to lose a body part.
Now, it was around time to settle down for the night. Clarisse had other plans though. She really didn't want to leave you. She loved you a lot. She spent the entire day trying to subtle stare at you like you rose the sun and the moon, memorizing the shape of your nose and the glaze of your lips. She never wanted to forget it.
But the sappy shit wasn't her thing. It was yours. So whenever you almost caught her, her eyes snapped away like looking at you burned her pupils. It made you a little sad, because you were too busy trying not to stare at her for you to notice she was staring at you.
Now you chatted mindlessly in her cabin, in the separate room that was for cabin counselors. You sat on her bed, and she was punching at a dummy to keep her antsy tendencies under control.
Somehow, the topic of crushes came up. Oh boy.
Both of you were tense. Her punches were harder, you were gripping your thighs tight enough to bruise.
"Having a crush is like being fuckin' hypnotized and your mind forcing you into thinking about them all the time. It's so stupid." She said bitterly, throwing a particularly hard punch. She was just lying to herself and you, she didn't mean it. You weren't stupid. You just took up a lot of her mind space, and all demigods already had ADHD.
You swallowed the sad feeling in your stomach. You never thought of crushes as stupid, love was never stupid to you. But you knew Clarisse, and how she could get about certain stuff, so you told yourself not to take it too seriously.
"That's a funny way to think about it, but yeah, kinda. I don't think it's stupid though." You shrugged, making her pause for a moment. She tried to keep her facial expressions in control, but her lips twitched a bit as a fluttery feeling twisted into her gut.
"You say that like you have a crush." She teased, backing up from the dummy to take a water break. She took her water bottle from her nightstand and sat down next to you, noticing your tense shoulders. She furrows her eyebrows. Fuck.
"You have a crush." She said. It wasn't a question.
You said nothing, instead following your fight or flight. You shot up from the bed, snatching your open bag up from the floor and snagging it over your shoulder—and just then, your diary fell out. Unlocked.
Clarisse was just about to stop you from walking away, but the book instantly caught her attention. As you gasped, she knew it was important, shooting down to grab it from the floor before you could.
You nearly screamed, dropping your bag and hurriedly crawling onto the bed to snatch it back. "Give it back!" You said, your hand coming out to grab it before it was swatted away.
"Fuck no, let me see!" She groaned, her face strangely upset compared to the moment before. Her gut told her this notebook said something about your crush, and she was jealous. Very jealous.
She grabbed your wrist, tugging on you and flipping you onto your stomach to sit on your back and read it. Not out loud, so at least she wasn't publicly shaming you. You were already dying.
"Clarisse, please! Don't read it!" You pleaded, trying to get her off of you, though it wasn't no use because she was a hunk of muscle. You couldn't help but admit to yourself you liked the weight of her on you. She always ran hot, too. She was hot.
Which you admitted in your diary, that she was ignoring you so she could read—there was only so much she could get right with Dyslexia. Her silence terrified you, because she was never silent. You immediately gave up, bracing yourself for Tartarus on earth.
Instead, she laughed.
"Oh wow.." She whistled. "I know you're a daughter of Aphrodite.. but fuck. A little pervy, huh?" She laughed, so she wouldn't crash from relief. She flipped all the way to the first page you started talking about your crush on her to check the date. "Shit.. three years." She muttered, mostly to herself.
Three years was almost the same amount of time for her too. Except, it was two years for her. A very torturous two years, because Ares kids didn't do love. You were used to waiting, she wasn't.
You fell first, she fell harder.
She dropped the diary onto the floor, letting you go and flipping you over. You were trembling, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. She tugged you up by the collar of your shirt, holding you there for a moment just to look at you.
You were the prettiest thing she had ever seen.
She couldn't take it anymore, tugging you into her lap, grabbing a handful of your hair and pressing your lips together. All your tension went away just like that. At least the tension in your body. The tension between you two skyrocketed. Then you just had to whimper, and that was enough to set her off.
She slapped at your thigh for you to kiss back, and you jolted before you did, wrapping your arms around her neck as tears prickled in your eyes. You had always been the sensitive type, always so against the player stereotype of your cabin. You were all love and glitter. That's what made her fall in love.
When you finally pulled away, you sniffled, and she gave a small laugh. A little nervous, a little smug.
"You taste like candy." She teased. You wiped your eyes and giggled, nuzzling into her neck and hugging her tight. You yearned for this for years, so you had to savor this.
"It's my lipgloss.." You finally said, speaking after the long few minutes of shocked silence.
"I think it's your perfume bleeding into my nose and tastebuds." She said mockingly.
You huffed, before sinking your teeth into her shoulder for payback. She tensed, grunting before pulling your head back by the hair she had grabbed. You whined again, and she loosened her grip in reponse.
"That's a girlfriend privilege, little shit." She growled.
"So are you gonna ask me?" You asked sassily, earning another smack to the thigh that made you jolt.
"Fine. Will you—" "Yes!"
A quick silence fell, before you giggled giddily and dug your face into her neck again. Now it was her turn to be silent. She couldn't believe she finally had someone that actually loved her for her and understood her.
Also.. you don't have to spend your time wishing to be her girl anymore.
𝓐aaahhh!! My first fanfic posted, I'm so scared!! I hope whoever you are likes it! Please follow and interact so other people can see my future work! ! ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১
