Poly Primis Headcanons (Saturday)
Today’s Theme: Angst with a glimmer of hope!
There are some stuff that they face together. Trigger warnings--just to be safe.
He rambles a lot and he’s worried that he may be annoying the other three. He’ll distance himself for hours to recollect himself and think about what he wants to say to them. That process takes even longer and he missed a few dates with the others because of it.
Now that he’s in a safer environment, he’s at risk at having panic attacks more freely. He’s paranoid that everything that he has now will soon be taken away and his lovers may still be resenting him because of his past actions.
Hope: He’s comforted by the others, whether it’s one by one or altogether. They’ll seek him out, bring a warm breakfast to him when he finally wakes up, and try their best to assure him that everything will be okay. He has them and they’ll have him, flaws and all.
He lets his anger take over him at times. There’s been moments when he snapped at the others when they tried to get close. He regrets it, but he doesn’t know if they could forgive and forget those words that he yelled at them.
He has PTSD. It takes him a while to calm down from those episodes; he isolates himself from the others so they don’t see how vulnerable he can get. He’s very certain that Richtofen will call him out on his weakness, Takeo will look in disappointment, and Nikolai will push him away.
Hope: They’re reading up on how to help him with the episodes: Richtofen’s making sure that he’s getting the right medication, Nikolai’s making sure that he doesn’t get the episodes frequently, and Takeo’s finding other ways to relieve him if he does become anxious.
He has PTSD. He will also avoid the others so they won’t see how upset he can get. He doesn’t worry about vulnerability, he’s worried about what he may do.
He mourns his wife every now and then. He loves the others, but he hasn’t forgotten her and how much he meant to her.
Hope: Richtofen and Takeo are helping him out on his episodes. Dempsey told him that losing loved ones is going to be difficult and that even they would be sad if their family member was mourning deeply for so many years. Nikolai’s doing his best to move on for them, himself, and her; it’s what she would’ve wanted for him. It’s what the others want.
He’s always thinking about the path he was supposed to follow and how his ancestors are frowning down on him for choosing a more simple life instead of seeking honor and glory.
He’s not always sure about whether or not he can make his own choices. He has trouble about accepting his individualism as a whole.
Hope: They tell him that it will take time to adjust to a foreign belief, but it would be in his best interest to embrace it. He’s told that he can and has done so much that wasn’t for the Emperor. He has worth that cannot be measured and that as an individual, he can follow his own path without the overbearing influence that he grew up in.