#wolfscldier

[redemptia]

Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once. Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, It seems to me most strange that men should fear; Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come. - Julius Caesar ( William Shakespeare ) // written by tot. // @osleyaa

[ promo cred to my bae, @wolfscldier ].

[portectorisms-a]

@wolfscldier for a drabble that wasn’t asked for but I wanted to write prompted off a meme I saw. =3

First - They were young, still children with dreams as stars that floated amongst the stars with them. Children who ran down the corridors, wide-eyed and laughing. So full of life and happiness. Nothing sad could touch them in a ways it did with the adults. Stuffed animals were considered best friends, people were always friendly, always joking about their ideas as children who only saw the universe as a storyboard, something that would grow with their imagination as time ticked on. They were in a corridor, alone. A soccer ball, tattered but full of air sat between them. Bellamy had been kicking it against a wall with ease and playfulness. His body was full of energy, his small limbs needing a way to exert the pent up energy of being stuck in their flat all day, watching a baby who wasn't suppose to be born. Aurora was home, promises made that Octavia would be okay and taken care of, believing was so easy at such a young age that he didn't think twice about the faux words of a woman that was meant to be their mother. A breath, and the young boy is all smiles, laughter like the sound of music from the concerts he'd sneak in to watch the clips of with the others who could afford the tickets. Hale stood in front of him. His eyes as bright as the stars and they were so young, so innocent. All it took was a few spoken, playful words, a nudge of a single shoulder and Bellamy leans in to peck the other on his lips, a kiss that was so innocent, no would've questioned it and even back then, his heart had already knew the truth, he was just too young to understand what it meant.

Second - Octavia's a toddler now and they're teenagers. Life isn't young and innocent anymore. It's full of guilt and pain. Things are shifting now and it's not the same bright eyed world he once saw as a child. The universe isn't just a drawing board but a story book and not all the chapters are happy. There's a pain in his chest, an ache, one that he can't describe because he's never felt it before but he's read it in the books the library has. He comes and goes from there. Constantly checking out new books, sneaking them out of the room and taking them home to read to his sister who wasn't suppose to exist. He likes to read her books about history because it's his favorite subject but he knows hers is a mixture so he brings her books of Princesses and Kings. He reads her mythology stories about the Gods and Goddesses of all across the world, there isn't one group he focuses on, even if his favorite is a mix of Roman and Greek. He takes home movies on their projection screen and shows her the things that people, over a hundred years ago, would watch for entertainment and he loved to watch how her features lit up with the characters would be happy and do things that saved their friends. He'd save the sports games for his own time when he needed to be alone in the library. He'd been seeing people in their beds, in the hidden nooks of corridors but there was always one person he'd come back to. Hale. Fingers shake, limbs feel heavy as if gravity had been kicked up higher than normal and his mind overworks a million miles a minute but he's alone with Hale in a room and he's confessing a secret that he's never told anyone. He's explaining how he has a sister. How he shares rations every day to keep her fed. How he saves her and why he skips out on classes because he needs to keep her safe. When words leave his lips and Hale's reply comes, Bellamy doesn't wait, he leans in, hands cup the other's cheek and he kisses him. It's long, it's full of passion and a mixture of tears upon star spattered cheeks and when it ends, he's left breathless, gasping for the air his lungs desperately need.

Third - The ground was something so unexpected. A whole new world that took words from his tired lips. That had showed him things he never would've ever knew existed. Earth Skills had been meant to prepare them for this moment but in reality, nothing had set them up for what they faced. Death had been so quick. Guilt piled upon itself and the weight of the world had almost become unbearable. It weighed down so heavily that his knees shook every day. He made mistakes that would never leave him. Nightmares stuck in his mind long after he'd wake up in cold sweat, gasping and pleading for air and light in a darkness he couldn't snuff out. Bones felt tired and skin felt tattered and torn. His heart would give anything to be that little boy that got lost on the Ark without care or concern. The universe was not just a story book, but a novel, bent and frayed with corners of pages torn as markers in chapters that held a significance in life. Heart lays heavy and on the verge of broken in a cage he had built out of steel for protection. Armor is worn like a second skin to keep himself safe and he'd rather these kids see him as an enemy meant to lead than a friend willing to hold their hand in times of hardship. Though, that never lasted and he couldn't keep the emotions in check. Life had never really been kind, even if it had given him the one thing that made him soft, that wasn't his sister. Time had passed and the others joined them on Earth's unforgiving floor. Blood dried to features, stars that lined his cheeks weren't nearly as visible as all the other times their lips met but this time, the kiss was thankful, pleading, almost spilling every little secret that Bellamy kept hidden under lock and key. *I love you.* spills in the kiss upon unspoken words. *Please stay* words that have been spoke in a form of love but without the eight letters attached to them. Hale was more than just someone he returned to in bed. Hale had every piece of his fragile heart. Every piece of the soul that was only shone behind hazelnut eyes. Every part of the universe they saw as kids out the large bay windows of a metal home they thought they'd never leave.

Fourth - Months have passed and they're finding survivors of other fallen stations. Farm station has shown the most promise and he's glad that there are survivors. It's nice to watch Monty be reunited with his mother but it's hard to hear about the death of the other's father. Desperation is starting to settle in over camp. Those who have taken charge don't quite understand the ground the way the original delinquents do and no matter how many explanations have been given, they just won't listen. Frustration lies in bones and anger out wins when he's left alone. Knuckles bloody more often than not due to a wall or a trunk of a tree. Hale's there. Hale's the reason he hasn't lost himself completely. The guilt is becoming too much and his mind won't turn off anymore. Stolen moments help more than he'll ever be able to say but there's something there and a man whose willing to use manipulation to get when he wants, what he needs to make people listen and follow him. Pike is the wedge that comes in and bases itself at Bellamy's feet. Telling him what he wants to hear, not what he needs to hear. Manipulating his mind. Believing that he's truly responsible for all the blood that's been shed, the people he couldn't save. He's lost himself this time and he's not sure if he can come back. With time, things change. His heart has always stayed with Hale, even when the bed was empty. Even when there were nights that sleep never came. Death was at their doorstep. The lone survivor from the Mountain was hellbent on his revenge for his people's lives and spoken words of I love you, Hale Ashwood finally fall from his lips as if it might be the last chance they'll ever get to see each other. To know how his heart felt and how in the end, it'll always be Hale. It's always been Hale. There's never been anyone else. There will never be anyone else. When cuffs are released and lungs are full again, calloused palms cup lover's cheeks and he's kissing him. Emotion, love, passion, ever feeling pours into the action. It's slow, it's beautiful and the world isn't a factor anymore. No one else exists but them in that moment and there's another whisper. I love you breathes against lips and his kissing him again. It takes, what feels like ages for the others, for him to finally pull himself away long enough for them to stand.

Fifth - There's the place he'd never thought he'd return to. The Ring held ghosts and memories he didn't want to relive. Months on the ground had shifted him, changed his heart. The world became so heavy that he was on benth knees, ready to drop it's weight. He was ready break. There was a saying he had overheard as a child, how things always got worse before they got better, and in truth, he didn't believe that until the Ring. A year spent dealing with those demons that settled just below his skin. Demons that ate away at ever crevice of his body until he felt like a shell, curled into the mattress of an empty room he chose at random, the darkness only lit by the moon and the stars beyond the metal circle. He's left in the wake of the pain he's felt all this time but he dealt with it. He deals with it. They're brother together again. Spoken words lead to mending pasts and scars that are on the verge of healing now. Hale's the one person that he knows he needs. That he knows he can't live with losing and if that ever happens, he's afraid to think of what would happen. How the nightmares would come true and the world would burn at Bellamy's hands. This time, there's something far more spoken about the way their lips meet. It's gentle, it's shy at first, as if permission needs to be granted for further access. Calloused palm cups the back of Hale's neck and he pulls him forward. Hale's taste lingers and he's drinking it in. The kiss lasts for what feels like days. From gentle and shy to passionate and explorative. Re-learning everything had never felt the way it did until now. His body had never tingled like this before. The simplest of touches had him gasping, latching on to Hale in a way that he never wanted to let go. When the kiss finally breaks, his head is spinning. He's dizzy, he's breathless and he's remembering the first time they've ever kissed before. The night's spent tangled with his lover and the night after that. The world has returned the way it felt and it wasn't nearly as heavy as it had been when they first arrived. I love you falls in the time of soft caresses and gentle breathes. I love you, Hale Ashwood.

[blindednephilim-a]

@wolfscldier gets a starter <3

   Griffin trusted his instincts more than any other sense. So when the hair on the back of his neck prickled and an uncomfortable sense of foreboding rolled down his spine, the young nephilim stooped to snag a broken tree branch to wield as a bat. He couldn’t hear anyone but Griffin wasn’t foolish enough to think that meant he was safe. Someone else was out here. “If you’re looking for easy prey,” Griffin called out, “then I’m the last person you want to pick a fight with.” 

[fallenregent-a]

My Tumblr Crushes:

badasshybridqueen

ofinsecuritiies

ofseveralmuses

fiercerebekah

noblerage

animalsweaters

hcybrothcr

destroysworlds

wolfscldier

[normaltothemax]

@wolfscldier​ ⊱ just bc

She’s just going to lay on his stomach and use him as a pillow. She’s not even going to say anything about it, she’s just going to read her book and act like she’s not half on top of him.

[cupcakemonwrites]

The angel wings barely touched the floor of the institute as she walked. The dark colored feathers careful not to touch whatever gunk they used to clean the floors. “You’re a bit terrible at these reports,” She tells the leader of this institute. “Maybe you shouldn’t be in charge.” She gives them a look before spotting him, bright blue eyes look him over before handing the report back. “You may want to fix that before I tell any of my brothers.” With that said she walked over to the male, a smile painted on crimson lips. “You like my wings? They are different than my brothers and sisters.”

@runedsoldier

[portectorisms-a]

How long had it been? How many years had past since this day had ever seen the light of it? Most of the time, he tries so desperately to keep it hidden under the many layers of guilt that encompass him. He's lost in it. The room sits empty besides his pressence. His feet rest upon the floor, the soles of his boots rest hard against the smooth surface. He's clad in fitted black jeans, his elbows rest upon them and between calloused fingers is a photo. A photo of his mother. The only photo he ever cared about keeping of her. The only one he didn't lock away in the small box full of her stuff tucked safely in the top shelf of the closet. She was healthy in it. Smiling brightly and he knows where Octavia got the shine from when she was happy. The way her features lit the room when she was geniune about something. When she was so damn passionate it becaome infectous. He mentally shakes him self and he let's a soft, deep sigh escape through slightly parted lips. His chest has grown heavy and there's lump in the back of his throat that causes his air to feel like he's choking. Swallowing has become a game to his system on if he'll die or not but he doesn't think about it. He's washed with memories of a time has has since long passed. Of a time that hadn't happened for the last so many years but it felt like just yesterday.

Aurora's flowing brunette strands cascaded down her back like a waterfall. She looked beautiful, even in the reset light of their home. Her smile was dashed in red lips and her eyes surrounded with black liner. His mother radiated what Octavia was given and he could see it in both of them. He stood at her doorway, his gaze upon her sculpted features. She looked tired. She was leaving for the night. She was always gone for the night. He couldn't remember the last time she had stayed at home and ate dinner with them as a family. Hell, he couldn't even remeber the last time she had stayed a full day in the house aside from making sure he was still alive and his sister hadn't broke anything that she'd have to pay for. That and to change her clothes for the next night out that would pass into morning. When he was a kid, he used to stay up into the long, early hours of the coming morning, worrying with guilt and concern if his mother would be home in time for breakfast. In the beginning, he hated that he was the one that had to tuck Octavia in when she was a child, asking for the mother that he almost wished they never had. He wonders how their life would've been if they had just been alone? Would Octavia had turned out differently? Neither one of them had a father and when the day grew to night, and Octavia asked questions, Bellamy was left scrambling for the right words to explain to her that they were alone. That even though they had a mother, they really only had each other. The only family that ever mattered were them. Then fate decided to be cruel. It always was.

His expression sombers. There's a bloom of heat that starts to crack inside his chest. He tries so hard to be strong. He tries so desperately to hold it all together but then he days where it's almost impossible to remind himself that he's not Atlas and he doesn't have to carry the weight of the world alone. He's not alone. He hasn't been for a long time but his body shakes and he feels the track of tears as the start the decent down his star spattered cheeks. His breath is gargled as he tries to stop the sob from escaping, his shoulders shaking in it's wake. The picture smiled at him. It gave a light that the sun couldn't but he didn't know this version of his own mother. He had never seen her like this. Even when he was an only child. He had always been alone. She left him. The only son she wanted and she left him. She would've rather had her fun than be the parent she was suppose to be. The first few years that he couldn't remember, he wonders if they were good. He wonders if she loved him then because he didn't feel that for as long as he could remember. Why would a mother love her son but then leave him alone? Why would she abuse his sister and want nothing to do with her when she made her boy happy? Was he a monster to start with or had he grown in that? Was he born with blood already on his hands? Had he been the cause of his father leaving or was that her entirely? Did she blame him for this world and the way it treated her? He was just a boy. How was he suppose to know better? How was he suppose to do anything? He was a helpless boy who should've tried harder.

The tightness in his chest grows larger, spreading through is body and the sobs come in waves now. He lets the picture fall to the floor. It's staring at him. Silently judging the son he had became. The man that was sitting on the bed, his facade breaking at it's seams. He was the monster he saw in the mirror. He let her die. He let her bleed out in his arms years ago today. He was fifteen. He couldn't do anything. He wasn't strong enough to help her. He was scared. God, was he scared. The gun had gone with it's owner. The blood ran a river of crimson under the knees of his jeans where he collapsed on the dark alleyway streets. Her breath was choked in her own blood that gave a careful line from her lips. Her eyes, they had once been so bright, now looked at him with a fading light. He reached for her, his hands lifting her to his arms. He should've saved her. He should've done /something/ to stop the bleeding but he just sat there. Holding her as she slowly died. Her final words weren't nice. A gargled angry, /do something, please./ and he knew he should. He had his phone. He could've called for help but there was no guarntee she'd survive. Nothing to save her and as the light drained from her features, he thought of his sister. He promised to protect her and he couldn't. He couldn't keep her safe from their mother and the only way he could was to let her go. And so he laid her back upon the concrete, her weak fingers grasping at the neck of his shirt, grasping for whatever hope he was suppose to give her. Whatever reassuarce was suppose to leave his lips to tell her that she was okay but there was nothing and there never would be. In his mind, her death would save Octavia from every wrong thing she ever did to her. In his mind, he was keeping the promise he made her birth. If he had to let Aurora die, then he would, but he knew, God did he know, that this was and would always be his fault.

He hadn't heard the door open, even as his body moved from the edge of the bed, he slid down it's side, collaposing to the floor. His knees are pulled to his chest and he's breaking. He doesn't break. His training has taught him to bottle this. To keep it all down inside of him and not let it see the light of day. This was a weakness in anyone's eyes but he couldn't stop the sobs as they shook his shoulders, the tears coming in waves. He feels like he can't breath and shakes his head, his tousled hair tossing around his head. He doesn't care who's going to hear him. Who walked through that door. He just wants to cry and scream out loud to the void. "It's my fault." He starts, his words are as broken as he must look on the outside. A broken boy who wants nothing more than to curl up and let death wrap him in it's darkness. He was nothing like who his mother probably wanted him to be. At least, the mother in his mind. "She died because of me." He chokes out, his arms wrapping tighter around his legs, his fingers curling, forming fists, the anger bubbling. He's mad at the world. Mad at the date, but he's mostly mad at himself for not trying hard enough to save her. To try and stop it from happening. For letting her die in his arms. What kind of son was he to let his own mother perish in his grasp? "I'm...a monster."

                                                       @wolfscldier gets an angst thing.

[portectorisms-a]

 “a time they kissed” I don't remember if I sent that before I fell asleep

Send “a time they kissed” for one time my muse kissed yours.Selectively Accepting || @wolfscldier ||

There’s movement in motions as he takes a step forward.There’s a light smile that crosses worn lips and he drops thebag upon the floor beneath the soles of his boots. There’s abreath, a surge of energy that pulsates through his body, trackinginto his bloodstream and he moves, the door opening with aquick movement and there he was. The man he was so helplesslyin love with. The man he was able to call his own. His boyfriend.Another breath as Hale stands, smile breaking across lips, theuniform still clinging to Bellamy’s body as he closes the gap.He doesn’t notice to tears that sting his eyes as they cascadedown his cheeks. Bronze features showing every sign of happinessthat Hale provoked inside of him. A hand lifts, cupping Hale’sneck from behind as he rests his forehead carefully against theother’s. “I love you.” A whispered confession of words that wrappedaround his heart like a warm blanket on a cold winter’s night.“I’m home. I’m not leaving again.” A pause, and his shouldersshake from the emotion that wracks his body with growing time.He’s lost on the feeling of Hale’s skin under the pads of callousedfingertips. Lost on the way his heart feels like it’s soaring throughthe air around them. His body feels lighter than it has since he’sbeen gone. Their reunion was public but it felt as if they were theonly two in the world left alive. Everything else had fallen fromgravity’s hold around them and he’s holding his boyfriend as ifhe were to let go, he’d disappear. Bellamy takes the moment todrink him in, eyes closing for a shift moment of a ticking clock ashe draws in Hale’s scent, letting it wash over him like gentle wavesupon a sandy beach. Gaze shifts, eyelids flutter open and he looksinto the other’s eyes. There’s love, concern, happiness, everyemotion swarming inside of him and his shoulders shake oncemore. His knees quake, threatening to drag them both to the groundand he wants nothing more than to close the door and just lettheir bodies, minds, soul’s fall away together in a bittersweethappiness that comes with Bellamy’s return. “I love you.” Herepeats it again and this time, his head shifts, moving to the sideand he draws Hale closer with the hand upon his neck, lips crashingagainst the other’s in passion. In a way of saying I missed you without words. In a way of saying I’m never leaving you on the tipof his tongue as it slips over Hale’s bottom lip, dragging it betweenhis teeth as he carefully bites it, pulling back slightly before breakingaway. Hale’s taste lasting longer than it has and he savors it.“Come back home with me. Take the rest of the day off.”