#xfiles au

[etherealyoungk]

ー✶ ANOMALY | JEON WONWOO (PART TWO)

SUMMARY: you've never believed in the supernatural, skeptical of anything beyond reason. you trust evidence, logic, science and things that can be proven. so being transferred to the FBI's X-Files department was never part of your plan. you're partnered with jeon wonwoo—the only agent keeping the lone department alive and a firm believer in all things unknown. as the two of you investigate strange and unexplainable cases, you both start to uncover dark secrets that were meant to stay hidden. the deeper you dig, the more dangerous the truth becomes and you slowly begin to wonder if everything you’ve ever believed to be impossible might just be real after all.

PAIRING: special!agent!wonwoo x special!agent!reader (fem!reader)

THEMES: x-files au, supernatural au

GENRE: mystery/thriller, strangers to lovers, opposites attract, slow burn, angst, fluff, mutual pining.

WORD COUNT: part two: 40.9K | part one: 31.5k | full fic: 73k

NOTE: some cases and plot lines in this fic are taken, adapted or reinterpreted from episodes of the x-files season one. this fic borrows references, lore and inspiration from the x-files universe. 

SECOND NOTE!! this is very important but later on in the fic there are pictures attached that are very much part of the fic so don't forget to read that since it's very important for the plot and understanding how everything ties together! hopefully it isn't too confusing.

WARNINGS: unrealistic portrayal of FBI procedures, investigation methods and protocols, supernatural and unexplained phenomena, aliens, conspiracy theories, guns, gunshot wounds, violence, fighting, blood, gore, reckless driving, autopsy’s, hostage situations, physical violence, threats and intimidation, car accident, fear, trauma, ptsd, abduction, emotional tension and distress, depression, trauma, medication and pills, mentions and descriptions of suicide, mentions and descriptions of self harm, graphic descriptions of gore, mentions of animals used for experiments, human experiments, reader is tested on with heavy drugs, drug abuse, painkillers and drug overdose, brief mentions of war and warfare, government conspiracy, cover ups, covert operations, use of curse words, reader is really suffering at some points, arguments and clashing of thoughts, bickering, angst, fluff, mutual pining, kissing, making out, wonwoo is really passionate about aliens, a very special cameo from seungcheol 👀

A/N: part two is here!! I hope you guys enjoy reading this fic because i had so much fun writing this fic! thank you to @wheeboo for hearing me yell about this fic in the dms, we had so many fun convos over this lmaooo and there's a little easter egg in this fic with a very special cameo hehe. i'd love to know your thoughts on this so please kindly leave some feedback and reblog! proofread but if there's still mistakes my apologies.

that night you can’t sleep, not what after wonwoo showed you because that was absurd and wrong. you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that there was classified documentation about what happened to agent jaehyun—that something more took place. you refused to believe it. the next day, you’re called on duty early because dr.shin, whom you’d visited yesterday died. odd right? when you get to the crime scene, it’s a mess, like someone trashed the place and it looks…unusual. you think that there was definitely some sort of foul play involved. 

“on the preliminary records the cause of death is listed as suicide”, you say as you read the report in your hand. “suicide?”, wonwoo repeats and you nod. “yeah, they think dr.shin trashed the lab and then killed himself”, you finish. “i don’t think this is suicide”, wonwoo says lowly and you agree in your mind. “how did he die?”, wonwoo asks as you both walk around the lab. wonwoo stops near the table where all the beakers and test tubes sit and it looks straight out of a science fiction movie, learning forward and taking a closer took at them. “it says that he tied one end of the medical gauze roll to this neck and the other one to this gas outlet”, you say, pointing to it near the table. “and then he jumped out the window”, you finish. “no witnesses?”, wonwoo questions in a tone like he already knew the answer and you shake your head. “nope”, you say. 

“when we met him yesterday, he was so particular about his work, getting upset when you got to close to those monkeys. i don’t think he’d be the type to act on impulse and jump out a window”, wonwoo concludes. “it almost seems too calculated”, wonwoo hums to himself. “any new information we have on dr.shin?”, wonwoo asks a second later. you open the file in your hands, reading off the informations that’s been provided in that. “um it says here that he was working on a project called the human genome project. have you heard anything about that?”, you ask wonwoo, because to you, it didn’t ring a bell. wonwoo looks up immediately, like he knew. “i’m aware of it”, wonwoo says and you look at him, waiting for him to elaborate

“it’s a really ambitious project—mapping of the human genes”, wonwoo says and then it clicks in your mind somewhere because you’d heard whispers of this type of experiment and research being done. “but there were thousands of scientists working on that or on similar projects”, you inform. “and now one of those scientists is now dead”, wonwoo finishes. you sigh. “i don’t really understand what we’re supposed to be looking for here. i’m seeing parts but not the full picture”, you tell. wonwoo busies himself with something and his eyes find a beaker inside a machine. he carefully removes it and brings it up to eye level and a dark brown liquid inside sloshes inside the beaker. “maybe we’re not seeing it because it can’t be seen, not an any obvious way”, he says, turning to you. “what do you think this is?”, he asks you, holding out the beaker. you glance at the beaker and then at him. “i don’t know”, you say. “looks like monkey pee if i’m going to be honest”, you add a beat later. “can you find out for me?”, he asks and you sigh, taking the beaker from him. “why, what are you going to do?”, you asks. “i don’t know”, he responds lowly. “i’ll try to see what else i can find out about dr.shin in the meanwhile”, he adds, a beat later. 

you head back to the bureau with the beaker so you can give it to the lab for testing and find out substance is in it and what exactly it is, secretly cursing wonwoo because if this actually ended up being monkey pee, you were going to kill him. meanwhile, agent jeon wonwoo is doing a little investigating himself. how you might ask? by sneaking and breaking into dr.shin’s residence because he needed answers and that was the only way according to him. he drives to dr.shin’s residence and knocks on the door just to be safe because what is someone else was home? when there’s no answer, he looks around and tries to get a peek inside the window. it’s quiet and empty, like it was left empty for a few days and no ones been here since. wonwoo walks around to the back and his eyes catch a window that’s slightly open. he carefully walks up to it and looks around before he opens the window more and quietly moves slides through the gap of the window so he’s inside the house now. 

back at the the FBI lab, you seem to have hit a wall. the sample you gave for testing comes back with inconclusive results. “i’m sorry agent L/N, there’s nothing we can do. it seems that the results fall outside our reference parameters”, the person in the lab informs you. “are you sure? did you run the test properly?”, you ask again, just to be sure. “yeah, so i’m guessing the sample is degraded”, the person informs and you just nod. but you don’t want to give up just yet. you take the beaker with you carefully and decide to take it somewhere else.

inside dr. shin’s apartment, wonwoo carefully searches the house. he stops in front of the room which looks like a study room and he pauses before walking inside. he goes behind the desk and immediately opens the drawers. there are a bunch of files—all labeled and lined up and his fingers search through them, his eyes scanning the labels. one particular document catches his eye. he plucks it out and starts reading it. it’s a call log and all the numbers are to one person. wonwoo takes a picture of the documents and sends the number to his friend, asking him to trace the number and get him a name and address on who it belong to. wonwoo puts the document back where he found it and as he’s closing it, the light catches onto something shiny. he stops and opens the drawer again, his hand digging inside and grabbing onto something cold and metal—a bunch of keys. wonwoo pockets it without a second thought. 

from the window behind wonwoo, a car pulls up quietly and someone inside is watching wonwoo through the window in the study. static crackles inside the car of the stranger’s and wonwoo’s voice crackling to life inside the car. in the room, the landline phone rings on dr.shin’s table and wonwoo moves carefully, picking it up. “jaeho?”, the person on the line asks. “yeah, it’s me”, wonwoo lies. “they shot me jaeho”, the person says as soon as wonwoo says he’s jaeho. inside the car, wonwoo’s voice fills the static radio, letting them hear in on wonwoo’s conversation right now. “i’ve been hiding in the water for three days jaeho and i’m hurt”, the voice says. wonwoo sits up straighter now, alert. the suspect—it’s the guy who was on the run.  

“where are you currently?”, wonwoo asks the other person on the line. “i’m by the store at the gas station by the river, using the payphone here”, the voice says. “okay, you stay right there, i’m going to come pick you up”, wonwoo says immediately. “i don’t think i can—“, the voice says and groans, before the sound of something falling down echos. “hello? can you hear me?”, wonwoo repeats but there’s no answer. “hello? this person here looks badly hurt, i think they need medical attention”, another person’s voice floats in from a civilian passing by and the line cuts. wonwoo puts the phone down with a frustrated sigh. he turns around and that’s when he notices the car outside. he hears the faint sound of the engine starting and it moving away, catching a silhouette of someone in the car but he doesn’t really think much of it or have to time to bother about it right now.

when the car’s gone, wonwoo’s own phone rings and he picks up. “i was able to trace the number to an address”, the person, his friend in the FBI says. “great, text it to me”, wonwoo says without missing a beat, putting the phone down and getting out of the house. he was going to the address next. he shuts the window and he walks out into the street like he didn’t do anything wrong. his phone pings with a text—the address—and that’s where he’s going next. 

“zeus storage. 1616 church street”

wonwoo picks up his phone at the red signal and dials your number, calling you. you pick up on the second ring. “wonwoo?”, you say. “he’s alive Y/N”, wonwoo says. “who’s alive?’, you ask, “the fugitive, the guys who was running away from the police, he stole dr.shin’s car, then he jumped in the water and they couldn’t find a body for three days remember? but he’s alive and he just spoke to me”, wonwoo explains. “woah, wait slow down, what do you mean he talked to you? how?”, you ask, confused. wonwoo sighs. “i went to dr.shin’s house and he called his landline there and i picked it up”, wonwoo says and you suck in a breathe. “you broke into dr.shin’s house? wonwoo that’s unlawful entrance, that’s illegal”, you say, clicking your tongue. “well, i didn’t really have any other option. it’s not like the dr.shin could open the door for me, he’s dead”, wonwoo says sarcastically. “shut up, you’re crazy you know that right? do you realise how much trouble you can get into if someone finds out? if assistant director kang finds out? he’s already up my ass about the way you conduct investigations and if he finds out you did this? he’s going to be fuming!”, you whisper yell at him over the phone, but wonwoo seems the least bothered.

“i got an address”, he adds later, completely ignoring your scolding. “what address?”, you question. “i don’t know, i’m headed there now to check it out. were you able to turn up anything on that liquid from the beaker?”, wonwoo asks as he takes a turn. you pause, hesitating before you speak. “not yet, i’m still waiting on the results”, you say. you didn’t want to give wonwoo any information until you were 100% as to what the substance was. you didn’t want to excite him or give him any reasons to do anything reckless again. “alright, i’ll meet you back at the bureau later”, wonwoo says, his voice clipped, cutting the call.

you reach the medical research centre and walk inside, a visitor badge clipped to your coat. you show your FBI ID to the security at front reception and they let you inside. one of your close friends worked here, and she was someone you were sure who could help you. you’d gone to medical school together and you trusted her. you walk inside and figure out your way to your friends lab. you spot her name on one of the doors and you knock before entering. “jihyo!”, you call out quietly when you spot her by the computer, trying something. jihyo turns around at the sound of her name and her mouth lifts into a small, surprised and pleased smile at the sight of you.

“Y/N! this is such a pleasant surprise”, jihyo says, getting up as you get closer, pulling you in for a warm hug. “hm, it is”, you say as you pull back. you look at her for a moment, your expression getting serious again. “i need your help with something”, you say  cautiously. “what is it?”, jihyo asks. “there’s this sample i have and i need your help. i wasn’t able to get any results back at the FBI lab. i’d really like you to test it for me so i can figure out what exactly it is”, you say. “sure”, jihyo says without hesitation. you look around and pull jihyo a little closer as you speak. 

“but there’s one thing”, you say, your voice hushed now. “i need you to do this but off the record, please”, you ask. jihyo searches your eyes before speaking. “okay, but is everything alright?”, she asks. “yeah”, you reply softly, but the truth was you didn’t know. you hand her the beaker jihyo and she carefully begins to work. she extracts some liquid from the beaker and carefully drops some of the dark liquid onto the microscope slide. she then moves with expert ease and puts the slide under the microscope, adjusting the lens until it’s just right. she peers into the microscope, taking a first look.

“my first impression is that it’s microbial, probably some kind of bacteria specimen”, jihyo says carefully as she looks into the microscope. “okay, where do you think it might have come from?”, you ask. jihyo doesn’t answer you right away. you watch as she shifts the slide and adjusts the light and lens before peering back into the lens again.

“where did you find it?”, jihyo asks. “it was recovered at a crime scene. but i’m hoping it’ll turn out to be nothing—monkey pee maybe”, you say and jihyo hums in response. jihyo zooms into the sample more, taking another look. “no, i think you’ve definitely got something here”, jihyo says, looking up at you. “come here and take a look”, jihyo says and you walk over. you stand beside her and peer into the microscope, trying to understand what you were seeing. the structures were small, something definitely like bacteria but they didn’t look like anything you recognised.

“what am i looking at?”, you ask jihyo. “that’s the question. i’m not sure either”, jihyo says, looking a little defeated. “what do you mean?”, you ask. “most bacteria have structures that are symmetrical and smooth, but these are…i don’t know…strange”, she offers. “is there any way of identifying them?”, you ask. “we could do a freeze fracture—take a thin slice off and see what’s going on inside. if it’s a known organism it should be able to help us identify it, but it’ll take some time”, jihyo says. you take a breathe. “sure, i don’t mind waiting”, you say and she nods. “alright then, i’ll get started”, jihyo quips and begins to work.

when wonwoo reaches the address, it’s quiet. he parks the car to one side. the night is quiet and windy. he walks towards the entrance of the storage house and tries to open the door. it takes a little effort but it finally pushes open and he steps inside. the room is dark, wet and damp and a shiver nearly runs down his spine. wonwoo turns on the torchlight from his phone, using that to guide his vision and steps forward. wonwoo walks forward and there’s a series of doors now. he digs into his pocket and pulls of the keys he took earlier from dr.shin’s residence. the keys jangle in his hands as he looks through each of them and then at the doors, trying to match the number on the key to the door—and one of the numbers match. 

wonwoo stalks forward and carefully unlocks the door, taking a deep breathe before pushing the door open. the door creaks lowly as he pushes it and he steps inside, bracing himself from whatever might be there. the room is larger that what he expected. he holds his phone up and he nearly stops his tracks at what he sees. in the middle of the room and six tanks, like long fishtanks each filled with water and connected to a carbon dioxide tank and filter, with pipes running though them. the sound of motors hums softly in the air. inside each tank is a human—unconscious, submerged in the water, in fetal position. wonwoo’s stomach turns. what the fuck. he carefully walks around the room, taking in the sight. holy shit. this was it. wonwoo quickly snaps a few pictures to keep as evidence and he exists quietly, his heart pounding. he didn’t want anyone to notice that he was here. he drives back to the bureau and there’s only one thought on his mind—that you had to see this for yourself. 

at the medical research centre, you’re almost half asleep with jihyo comes inside, with a report in her hand. she gently taps your shoulder. “i’ve got it”, jihyo says and you stand up, walking over to the table. she hands you the report, her expression a little tense and you immediately straighten up, worried. 

“these are the DNA sequences from the bacteria sample you brought it. you know enough molecular biology to read this right?”, jihyo asks, looking at you. you glance at the report in your hand, your eyes skimming over the report as you try to read it and understand what you might be looking at. “these are gene sequences”, you say. “yes”, jihyo says. “they’re base pairs”, jihyo explains. “only four nucleotides exist in DNA”, she says. “and what you’re looking at is a sequence of genes from the bacteria sample”, she continues carefully, looking at you. “normally we’d find no gaps in the sequence. but in this we do”, she says. 

you furrow your brows as you scan the information and data once again. “how come?”, you ask. “i don’t know why”, jihyo answers. “you’re looking at a genetic sequence that contains base pairs i can’t identify”, jihyo says and the words settle heavily between you both. “that’s not possible”, you say immediately. “DNA only uses four”, you add and jihyo nods. “i know, but this sample doesn’t”, she finishes. you stare at the report in your hand and then back up at jihyo. “so what are you saying? are these some sort of mutation?”, you ask. “no, mutations would still use the same four building blocks and this doesn’t”, jihyo says. 

you look at jihyo, your expression uneasy. “what exactly did you find jihyo, i need to tell me”, you ask, your throat dry. jihyo looks around the room, even though it’s only you both in her lab. she leans in, her voice a little hushed now as she speaks. “i found a fifth and sixth DNA nucleotide, a new base pair”, jihyo finally says. you stare at her, shocked. that can’t be, because that’s quite literally impossible and absurd.

“the structures of these new base pairs don’t match any known nucleotide”, jihyo says carefully. “are you saying these are engineered?”, you ask. “they could be but there’s no way of confirming it. i wouldn’t be able to tell you how or by whom, but it could also mean that this wasn’t naturally evolved on earth”, jihyo says and you suck in a short breath. jihyo’s gaze is steady on yours.“under any other circumstances, my first call would have been to the government”, jihyo says and you look at her, your heart beating wildly in your chest now. “because what you are looking at right now doesn’t exist in any biological database i have access to. it exists nowhere in nature Y/N and it would have to be by definition—extraterrestrial ”, jihyo says and you swallow hard. there was no fucking way this was happening right now.

extraterrestrial. you were staring to hate that word. 

jihyo studies you face. “Y/N, you’re not in any kind of trouble right?”, she asks. “no, it’s fine”, you say. “what are you going to do with this?”, she asks. “i don’t know”, you say softly. “keep the report, i have a copy”, she adds and you nod. “just please, keep this between us alright, for now”, you request and she nods. “of course”. 

you don’t go back to the bureau that night, but you go home. you needed time. you wanted to look at the report again and make sure whatever you were seeing was indeed what it was—because in the back of your head you were still banking on the fact that there had to be some sort of scientific explanation to the sample. you didn’t want to believe it, you refused to. you don’t tell wonwoo right away. you tell yourself it’s because it’s late and because the data isn’t complete and because you don’t want to alarm him over something that still has possible explanations.

the next morning, you hesitantly walk into the bureau office and head downstairs towards the basement. wonwoo’s already there of course and he turns around when he hears your movement. “were you able to find anything on that liquid from dr.shin’s lab?”, wonwoo asks, straight to the point. you shake your head. “no, i’m still waiting on the results. the lab said they’re backed up so i should get it by today”, you lie. you’ll tell him later you tell yourself. wonwoo only looks at you before he turns around and grabs his car keys from the table. “come on, there’s something i gotta show you”, wonwoo says. 

“where are we going?”, you ask once you’re in the car. as wonwoo drives, his focus is on the road ahead, but you can sense the tension in the air with the way his knuckles grip the steering wheel too tight. “the address i went to yesterday, it was a sort of storage house”, wonwoo explains slowly. “and fuck, you need to see what’s in there Y/N”, he says. the rest of the ride is quiet and when wonwoo finally pulls up into the street, it’s still quiet, with a few people walking on the sidewalk. you both get out of the car and you follow wonwoo towards the warehouse. it looked pretty old and used, like it’d been here for a while. you glance at wonwoo as he opens the door for you and beckons for you to enter. you really had no idea what he wanted to show you or what could be inside. 

wonwoo produces a key and you don’t dare ask where he got it from because you know it was through some way that probably wasn’t legal. wonwoo opens the door and walks inside, you follow behind him and nearly knock into him because he stops in his tracks. “what the fuck”, you hear him mutter under his breathe. “what?”, you ask as you move to the side and walk inside more. you look around the room, confused, because it was empty. you turn to wonwoo immediately. “what?”, you asks again as wonwoo looks around, like he couldn’t believe the sight in front of him. 

“there were tanks here”, wonwoo says, looking at you in disbelief. “they each had bodies suspended in them, in some kind of water based solution”, wonwoo says, walking into the room further, confused. everything was here last night but now nothing, like nothing had been year for months. “there were computers monitoring them and they were alive Y/N, underwater.”, wonwoo says, like he was trying to convince you that he didn’t just see things. “okay then what happened?”, you question. but wonwoo isn’t willing to give up just yet. “i have pictures, i took them last night, see”, wonwoo says, grabbing his phone and he opens his photo gallery. the pictures are still there thankfully and he makes a mental note to back these up incase something happens, before they got to this too.

wonwoo clicks on the photos and hands his phone to you. you lean in and take the phone from him. you zoom into the photo and see exactly what wonwoo had just described. you swallow hard. “what do you think they’re doing with these people?”, you ask, swiping and looking at the other pictures. the people in the tanks looked unconscious, but breathing, like they were alive under water and that baffled you. “i’m not sure yet. maybe if we get the report on that sample we’ll get more information”, wonwoo says and you look at him. “yeah”, you say  softly. “i’ll follow up on the lab with that”, you add a second later as you hand him his phone back. “let’s get out of here”, he says, guiding you out. 

the day has nearly passed and wonwoo got busy with following up on dr.shin’s murder, saying he had to go check something out. it’s late now, past your working hours and you sit alone in the office, skipping dinner because you’re in no mood to eat, not with everything that’s plaguing your mind right now. the report is spread open in front of you, pen tapping against the margin as you try to gather your thoughts. engineered, you write first then you cross it out and scribble something else. non-canonical. that feels safer.

when wonwoo finally walks in, shrugging out of his coat, you straighten like you’ve been caught doing something wrong. “you’re still here,” he says. “yeah,” you reply too quickly. “i was just…going over something”, you say. he notices the report in your lap immediately. he always does.

“are those the results?” he asks. you hesitate and nod. you had to tell him. “what did you find?”, he asks, walking closer. his expression is sharper now and he settle down across from you in the other chair. he looks at you, waiting. you sit up straighter and glance around the room, like you were scared that someone might be listening in. wonwoo notices. “can we take this somewhere else?”, you ask softly. wonwoo understands immediately. “my place?”, he asks and you nod.

wonwoo unlocks the door to his apartment and lets you in, holding the door open for you. he follows in behind you and he shuts the door behind him. you hear the soft click of the lock too. you walk inside and then pause. you take off your coat and hold it. wonwoo wordlessly takes it from your hands and neatly drapes it over one of the chairs near the small dining table near the kitchen. “do you want anything?”, he asks and you shake your head. “tea? coffee?”, he asks again” “i’m good”, you say and he nods, gesturing towards the couch. you take a seat and remove the report from your bag. you hold onto it like it was something too important. wonwoo takes a seat next to you, his knee brushing against yours for a second, sending a small spark though you. you glance down at the file in your lap and you realise that you’re nervous, because this meant admitting something you didn’t believe in.

you clear your throat lightly and you glance up at him and then down at the report on your lap before you slowly slide the report toward him. “i got the sample tested and got the sequence tested too”, you say. his eyes scan the report, his brows furrowing slightly. “what am i supposed to be looking at?”, he asks. “whatever was in that liquid contained some kind of bacteria and they each contained some sort of virus”, you say. wonwoo looks at your face for a brief moment before he looks back down at the report. “i think dr.shin might have been trying to clone them”, you add.

“any idea on what he might have been doing with them?”, he asks. “the only reason you’d close a virus instead of a bacteria is to inject it into something living”, you say. “it’s called gene therapy and it’s still highly experimental”, you say. “that’s what he was doing, gene therapy, that’s what he was testing”, wonwoo already concludes, like he’d read your mind. “maybe”, you say instead. “i also run some primary cultures on the DNA sequence”, you add. i just need to you understand that whatever this is, it’s very strange”, you say carefully, trying to set the scene for him. 

wonwoo watches you carefully as you talk, like he’s tracking something beneath the words. “DNA is made up of only four sequences and that’s how all life on earth is made up of”, you start. “but in this sample, there were gaps in the sequence”m you say. “so what does that mean?”, he asks. you shrug lightly. “it could mean that it has unknown components, but synthetic biology has been experimenting with expanding DNA sequences for years, so this could be something like that”, you say, still trying to rationale the findings. 

wonwoo looks at you, like he’s trying to understand what you’re telling him. “so someone made it”, he says. “yes, that’s the most logical explanation”, you say a little too quickly and wonwoo catches onto it—there’s something you’re not telling him. “and?”, he prompts. you look at him. “and that’s it. it doesn’t mean anything else”, you say but the look on wonwoo’s face tells you that he isn’t convinced, not one bit.

“you’re leaving something out. you’re not telling me the full truth”, wonwoo says, catching you and you feel your jaw tighten. “i’m not”, you say softly.  wonwoo leans forward slightly, his knee bushing against yours again and you look at him because he’s closer now and you can feel the warmth from him. “you are Y/N. you keep saying what it could be but not what it actually is. you did the test so drop the bullshit and tell me what it is, no sugarcoating”, he says firmly and you clench your jaw as you hold his gaze. you can feel your pulse start to race and you look away. 

“i’m not saying this is extraterrestrial because that’s not how science works”, you say snapping lightly “i didn’t say it was”, wonwoo replies calmly and the words hang there between the both of you. “good, because that would be ridiculous”, you say. wonwoo looks at you, tilting his head. “would it really?”, he asks and you can only stare at him. “yes”, you say. “even with everything else we’ve seen, even with the photos i showed you today morning?”, he asks. “that doesn’t mean it applies here. this is biology wonwoo and biology has rules”, you stay. “maybe the rules can bend”, he says and you swallow. “it can evolve and adapt but it just doesn’t—“, you stop, looking at wonwoo. his gaze doesn’t waver from yours. 

silence stretches between the two of you. you shake your head, in denial. “you’re jumping ahead”, you say and wonwoo sits there, unmoving. “you’re holding back Y/N”, wonwoo says again because you still haven’t told him the truth about the results. you only look at him, your pulse spiking again. “you’re scared”, he says a moment later, his voice somehow softer now. those words land on you harder than you expect and you look away. “i’m not scared.” wonwoo leans a little closer, stopping just short of your space. 

“Y/N”, he says and the way he says it compels you to look back up at him. you meet his eyes and he speaks carefully. “i need you to tell me the part you’re not saying,” he says. “i need you to tell me the truth as my partner”, wonwoo says and your throat tightens. “the bacteria sample that i got analysed”, you start. “they’re saying it doesn’t exist in nature”, you finish, looking at wonwoo for his reaction. “what does that mean?”, wonwoo asks, looking at you carefully, waiting for you to finally say it and admit what you so adamantly didn’t want to. you look away and then look back up at him, forcing yourself to say it out loud.

“they’re saying that it could be extraterrestrial”, you say. wonwoo’s expression doesn’t change. “anything else?”, he asks and you shake your head. wonwoo studies you for a long moment and then he nods, like he’s accepting what you’ve just told him. “okay,” he says. “okay?”, you question, wondering how he could stay so calm right now.

“you know that this means exactly what you’re trying not to think it means.”, wonwoo says. “no, it just means we don’t know enough”, you say sharply, still in denial. wonwoo’s gaze soften lightly, but his voice stays steady and grounding. “i don’t want this to be bigger than it is,” you admit quietly. “because if it is…”, you trail off. you look back at the report in wonwoo’s hands and you feel the last of your sanity start to slip away from you. “this doesn’t make any sense”, you say softly, starting to feel completely defeated. wonwoo exhales slowly. “that’s usually where it starts”, he replies and you close your eyes for a second to gather yourself together. you open your eyes and speak, looking ahead. 

“you know, i’ve always held science as sacred. i’ve always put my trust into facts, evidence and logic, but what i found out last night…it’s shaken me. for the first time in my life i don’t know what to believe”, you say, finally picking your eyes up and looking at wonwoo. he’s closer now and you can see the faint lines of exhaustion behind his glasses—the weight of sleepless nights and things he doesn’t say. his hand up rise slowly to push his glasses back up before speaking, unconsciously almost.

“you think if you don’t say it out loud, it won’t be real…but it already is”, he says, the words settling heavy in the air. you gulp. “i know”, you admit softly and that’s what breaks you. your hand slips from your lap, unsteady and brushes against his. the contact is brief but it sends something through you. your fingers rest next to his hand, quiet and uncertain and he doesn’t move. he keeps his hand there, barely moving, aware of the fraction of an inch that’s between your fingers and his. his hand flexes in place, like he’s fighting the thought that comes in his head—to reach out and squeeze your hand—to comfort you and to tell you that everything is going to be okay.

“what are we supposed to do with all this wonwoo?”, you ask, peering at him. he’s quiet for a moment before he speaks.“we figure out the truth”, he says and you let out a shaky breath. 

for the next few days, you walk in and out of the bureau like you’re walking on eggshells. you’re extra aware and keeping an eye out—to see if anyone was following you. you knew exactly what could happen if someone found out about what you knew right now and they wouldn’t hesitate to eliminate any potential liabilities. you shake the thought away as you step out of the elevator and walk out the doors, the cool night air welcoming you as you step outside. you walk towards your car in the parking lot. you’d parked in your usual corner, the one in the far back because it was quiet and it was easy to reverse and exit from there. you’re just about to turn the corner, your hands digging into your bag for your car keys, your gaze fixed onto looking down into your bag that you don’t notice that someone is behind you. 

the figure grab you by the arm hard and yanks you towards the wall, slamming you right into the brick ball. the force knocks the breathe out of your lungs and you let out a whimper of pain, your handbag falls to the ground now, a few of your things spilling out of the bag and clattering to the ground. 

“don’t scream or yell”, a voice says, calm and controlled. you can’t makeout the face because the person’s wearing a mask. you try to move but the man digs his fingers into your arm deeper until it hurts. “you know, curiosity killed the cat”, the man says, threatening you. “i’m warning you, drop whatever you’re doing or whatever you think you know so far”, the man adds. your heart is pounding so hard it feels like it might tear out of your chest. “i don’t know what you’re talking about”, you say through gritted teeth. the man chuckles. “don’t try to fool me agent L/N”, the voice adds. “i’m saying this for your own good, drop the case and leave it alone or else next time it won’t end with just a warning”, the voice says, pushing you into the wall again to drive his point home. 

“HEY!”, you hear a voice call out—wonwoo. wonwoo walks faster now but the man lets you go roughly and he disappears into the corner, disappearing into the shadows by the time wonwoo reaches you. wonwoo comes upto you and he stops for a second, hesitating like he was unsure if he could touch you. your legs feel weak and there’s a dull throb in your right shoulder. “are you okay?”, he asks, his eyes searching your face, worry etched all over his face. you shake your head. “i-i don’t think so”, you say. wonwoo’s jaw tightens as he crouches down to pick up your bag and the things that fell out, carefully putting in back into the bag. you look at him, still shaken, your heart still pounding in your chest.

wonwoo simply holds out his arm. “take my arm, i’ll walk you to my car. i don’t think you should drive tonight”, he says. you look at him. you hesitate for a moment before you slowly lift your hand and wrap it around his arm. the muscle under your fingers is firm and tense. “do you want me to drive you home?”, he asks as you slowly walk together, wonwoo matching his pace to yours. your fingers tighten around his arm immediately and you shake your head, barely there. “yours?”, you ask softly, peering up at him and he nods. “of course”.

you don’t say much on the drive, preferring to say silent. the shock still stays with you, that someone was following you and that someone knew what you had found out and they didn’t like it. someone was threatening you. all these thoughts come crashing down on you all at once and you don’t realise how badly your hands are trembling in your lap until wonwoo glances at them at the signal. 

“hey”, he says softly, turning the corner and pulling the car over without a second thought. you’re suddenly overwhelmed and you glance down at your hands in your lap, clenching them hard, like that would stop the trembling. “i’m fine”, you say automatically. you didn’t want wonwoo to worry about you—he had enough on his plate. you could deal with this on your own, you’d been through worse. 

wonwoo observes you carefully, the way you’re breathing is controlled, like you’re holding yourself from one wrong move, like you’re afraid that he’ll see how shaken you really are. he can tell that you’re overwhelmed. “you don’t have to do that with me”, he says quietly. you don’t look at him. “do what?”, you ask, looking ahead. “pretend that you’re fine”, he finishes. your chest tightens and you close your eyes for a second, everything coming back to you again. 

“he knew what i knew wonwoo, he knows, they know”, you say. “someone’s been watching us and they know what we’re doing”, you tell, trying to keep your voice steady but it breaks anyway. “he was threatening me, to drop the case and to stop digging into it”, you add, letting out a shaky exhale as you explain. your hands are still trembling lightly in your lap. wonwoo slowly reaches out and he gently takes your hand in his, his fingers closing around yours like it’s the most natural thing in the world. you’re still talking, your voice tight as you tell him what the man said to you and you don’t register it until the warmth of his hand until it starts to seep into you.

his grip is gentle but it’s sure and steady. his hand is warm against your cold and trembling fingers. you look down and look at the way wonwoo’s hand is wrapped around yours, his thumb pressing against your palm, rubbing slow circles, like he’s reminding you where you are, grounding you back to him. he gives you hands gentle squeeze, like he was telling you that he was right here. your chest tightens and you expect him to pull away, to realise what he’s doing and wait for the professional distance to snap back into place—but he doesn’t move.

your fingers curl into his palm instinctively, wrapping around his fingers slowly. the realisation hits you slowly and heavily—he’s holding your hand and he’s doing it like it means nothing, which somehow makes it mean everything. you can feel the moment wonwoo realises what’s he’s doing and you feel his grip loosen for just a second as he glances down at his hand over yours, but he doesn’t let go fully.

“i won’t let anything happen to you”, he murmurs to you. once you’ve calmed down a bit, wonwoo reaches out for the water bottle in the console and carefully hands it to you. you slowly pull your hand out of his grip and take a sip of the water. wonwoo pulls his hand back and places it back onto the steering wheel “thanks”, you say softly. 

at wonwoo’s apartment it’s quiet like it always is. it’s neat, clean silence fills the space like it’s intentional—it doesn’t feel overwhelming. “make yourself comfortable”, he says and you nod, walking inside. the space smells faintly like coffee and clean laundry and the lights are warm and dim. you move towards the living room and sit on the couch, the cushions soft underneath you. wonwoo moves to the kitchen and begins to prepare a cup of tea for you without a word. when he comes back he holds out the mug to you.

“chamomile tea, it’ll help you calm down”, wonwoo says and you reach out and take it, your fingers brushing against his. you thank him again and hold it in your hand. the couch dips as he settles down next to you. you take a small sip of the tea and the warmth of it fills you instantly. 

“you can stay, as long as you want”, wonwoo says and your heart does something stupid at that. “thank you”, you murmur softly. wonwoo watches you carefully as you take another sip of the tea. you glance at wonwoo and his posture is relaxed but his attention is completely on you. 

“what do we do now?”, you ask. “now that we know what’s going on, we just need to figure out the connection between them all—then we’ve got it”, wonwoo tells. it’s quiet again and wonwoo’s phone lights up, ringing. he reaches out for it an unknown number flashes on the screen. he knew exactly who was calling—the mystery man.

wonwoo glances at you and then turns his phone to you, so you could see it too. you furrow your brows. “my source”, wonwoo says and realisation hits you. your mouth parts as you say ‘oh’. wonwoo picks up the phone and puts it on speaker, letting you hear in on the conversation. 

“hello?”, wonwoo says, holding the phone between the both of you. “hello agent jeon”, the mystery man says, pausing. “and hello agent Y/N”, the adds and you snap your head up to wonwoo. “how did you—“, you start but the sound of a small chuckle fills the air and you stop. “i know many things agent Y/N”, the mystery man says. 

“you’re close agent jeon, real close”, the mystery man says. “what’s going on?”, wonwoo asks. “do you know what happened to the tanks in that room, to those people in the room in that storage house?”, wonwoo asks. “they’ve most likely they’ve been destroyed”, the mystery man says on the phone “destroyed by whom?”, wonwoo questions immediately. “i don’t know”, the mystery man says. wonwoo clenches his jaw. “i don’t believe you”, wonwoo says over the line. “as much as i know agent jeon, there are also limitations to my knowledge”, the mystery man says.

“inside the intelligence community there are so called black organisations—covert groups within the intelligence that conduct covert activities, which are unknown even at the highest levels. so no one is truly ever safe, not even me”, the mystery man explains. “were those the same people who might have killed dr.shin?”, wonwoo says. “yes”, the mystery man says. “why?”, wonwoo asks. “why? you still can’t see it agent jeon?”, the mystery man questions. 

wonwoo is silent for a moment, his brain going through everything he’s found out and everything he’s seen so far. he looks at you and then speaks. “dr.shin was conducting experiments on humans with extraterrestrial viruses. he was injecting them was alien DNA”, wonwoo says. you look at wonwoo like he’s gone crazy—but then again with what you found out, wonwoo’s theories don’t even sound that crazy anymore. 

“you got it agent jeon”, the mystery man says, his tone finally showing some relief and enthusiasm. “but that’s nothing new, this has been going on for years, ever since we’ve got our hands on the alien tissue in 1947, but not the technology”, the mystery man explains. “we’ve run many experiments, some with worse results, some better”, the mystery man says.

“the first DNA transplant took place in that room, that was where the first human-alien hybrid was created”, the mystery man says. wonwoo clenches his jaw and he lets out a shaky breath. “what about those six people? the guy who was on the run?”, wonwoo asks. “they were all six volunteers, all terminally ill. the man who was on the run was a close friend of dr.shin’s. he was dying from colon cancer. dr.shin began running experiments on them, with the alien gene therapy.

the results were mind-blowing and all six of the patient showed signs of recovering from there illnesses. dr.shin’s friend recovered the fastest and he was able to live a more normal life. the only consequence? he developed inhumane strength and as i’m sure you’ve come to realise, the ability to breathe under water”, the mystery man says. “that’s how he was able to elude capture, by hiding in the water”, wonwoo says. 

“but what was he hiding from?”, wonwoo asks. “he was hiding because he was never have supposed to survive!”, the mystery man says and you furrow your brows as you listen to the conversation. “then what about dr.shin? why was he killed?”, wonwoo asks. the line is silent for a moment. “dr.shin was killed because his experiment was too successful”, the mystery man states plainly. “dr.shin’s work was part of a top secret government project. all they were interested in was the science and technology, but to have an actual living hybrid out in the world? that’s too great of a liability”, the mystery man says. “he has a blood chemistry that is alien and likely toxic. if news of that got out to the world, it was be disaster—chaos”, the mystery man says.

“what do you think agent Y/N? do you believe now?”, the mysterious man questions. “i don’t know what to believe anymore”, you say, defeated almost.“that’s understandable. something like this isn’t exactly easy to digest”, the mystery man says.

“but why are you giving me so much information now? and why did you give me so little to begin with?”, you question. “i didn’t anticipate the speed at the way they’d work. they’re cleaning up—destroying all possible evidence and with no evidence, you both have no case. so you must find dr.shin’s friend before they do and kill him too”, the mystery man warns. “i’ll have no further contact with you on this matter”, he adds a moment later and cuts the call before wonwoo has a chance to speak again. 

“so this guy is your source?”, you question and wonwoo nods. “yeah”. “i can’t believe him asking to watch a stupid news report led us to all this”, you mutter to yourself. “how are we going to find dr.shin’s friend?”, you asks a second later. wonwoo lets out a exhale and you look at him carefully. you can tell how exhausted he is by everything that’s going on at the moment plus the added pressure of figuring everything out and connecting the dots before someone tries to stop us again. “i don’t know, but we’ll figure it out. there’s not many places he’ll go, probably stay somewhere close since he’s still hurt”, wonwoo adds. 

“i should probably get all the lab reports back so there’s no trace of anything there”, you tell and wonwoo hums. “the bureau lab would probably be closed by now”, wonwoo says and you still. you still hadn’t told him where you got the reports from. you shift a little closer to him, leaning in as you speak, like you wanted this just between the both of you—though it already was. 

“yeah about that”, you start. “i didn’t get it tested at the bureau’s lab”, you confess and he raises a brow lightly, holding your gaze. “i mean i did go to the bureau’s lab first, but the results were inconclusive and they weren’t able to identify the sample”, you explain, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap. “so went to a friend who works at a medical research centre. i thought i’d get better results and that she could help me understand what it was better. i did this all off the record”, you say. “off the record”, wonwoo repeats, still looking at you. “i didn’t want to stir up trouble”, you say quickly, thinking wonwoo might be mad at you. “that’s why you took so long to tell me the results”, wonwoo concludes and you give him a look.

“this is your fault by the way, your stupid methods are rubbing off me”, you complain and he lets out a quiet, surprised chuckle. “i don’t think i should take that as a compliment”, wonwoo says dryly. “you shouldn’t, you’re a bad influence”, you say, leaning in more, not realising how close you’ve gotten. a hit of a smile tugs at the corners of wonwoo’s lips as he looks at you. before he can stop himself his eyes flicker down to your lips for a second before it flickers back up again, his jaw tightening as he curses at himself at the thought. you were going to ruin him one day.

you notice it and your fingers curl tighter in your lap. “well, the next time you decide to break protocol and do something off the record, how about you loop me in?”, wonwoo suggests, his voice low. you glance at his lips and then look away quickly, letting out a small scoff. “i don’t think i’d do something like that again agent”, you say deliberately, but suddenly the air around you shifts. “but if i do, i will loop you in so you can save my ass”, you finish, giving him a small smile. somehow the air feels heavier now and that feels even more dangerous. you shift slightly and then pick up your gaze to look at him. neither of you moves, but you don’t pull back either. 

god, he really wanted to kiss you right now. the realisation hits him hard and he mentally curses. he can’t be thinking about kissing you right now—not you—not his partner. he was so fucked.

“would it still be open now?”, wonwoo asks after a moment, hoping to divert the conversation so his thoughts would stay a little more sane. you look at him, lost for a moment, your mind still lingering onto thoughts you should not be having before you focus back on the question he asked you.“the medical research centre”, he prompts and you get back to your senses. “oh, yeah, i think so”, you say. you glance at the time now—9PM. “it could be, i’l call my friend over there and ask”, you say. “yeah, it’ll be good if we can collect all the reports and the sample back tonight before they get to it and start wiping out the evidence”, wonwoo suggests and you nod.

when you and wonwoo reach the medical research centre, you call jihyo, but she doesn’t answer the phone. that’s weird you think. you and wonwoo walk inside together and as you look around, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. the receptionist only acknowledges your presence and a few researchers walk past you with coffee and takeout in their hands. you head up to the third floor on the the elevator and walk towards jihyo’s lab. you dig into your pocket and swipe the access card that jihyo had given you earlier. wonwoo scans the hallway, more out of habit and you step inside jihyo’s lab. that’s when you immediately feel it—something isn’t right. the air is wrong and the room feels too clean. you walk inside quietly and flick on the switch, white light immediately flooding the space. your legs take you straight for the storage freezer, but when you open it, it’s empty. no. you clearly remember that it contained the vials that were so clearly labeled. you close it and open it again, like you were hoping it would magically appear and your eyes were just playing tricks on you. you move to the side and pull open the cabinet that had the full reports—the second copy that jihyo kept. your fingers skim through the files but nothing—it’s not there. your pulse starts to race.

“it’s not here”, you say, hearing wonwoo’s footsteps come closer from behind you. “what about a soft copy?”, you ask with hope, but wonwoo’s look says that they’ve probably erased that too. they wouldn’t be so careless to leave a single trace. 

“they’ve wiped everything then”, you conclude, upset, feeling defeated. “this means they’re one step ahead of us”, wonwoo says lowly. “let’s get out of here”, you tell. outside, the hallway hums with life again, voices and footsteps of fellow researchers, like nothing was wrong. you and wonwoo step outside the doors and the night air greets you both. you both walk side by side back to wonwoo’s car. 

over the next few days, you get more threats. they’re subtle threats but still sharp and enough to have you looking over your shoulder constantly, like someone is watching every single step and move you make. you’ve found notes by your door telling you to back off and drop the case multiple times, each one worser profanities than the previous one and you swear you were even followed home once. you’ve stopped speaking at your home, scared your phone might even be bugged. when you walk into the basement of the bureau  later that week, there’s an envelope on your desk.

you open it to find two photographs inside. one is of you walking out of the bureau and the second photograph of wonwoo leaving his apartment. you curse under your breath and swallow hard, shoving the pictures back into the envelope and you’re about to stuff it into your bag so wonwoo doesn’t see it but he walks in at that moment. your turn around, the envelope still in your hand and his gaze catches it immediately, along with the slight distress on your face. you sigh and show it to wonwoo. he doesn’t say anything but his jaw is tight, his grip tightening around the photographs. this was starting to get dangerous and too real—you were so close to figuring out something you were never meant to find—and they didn’t like it one bit.

later that week, you and wonwoo decide to lay low and test the waters. your conversations are short and clipped and you pretend to work on another case but in reality you’re just trying to break and work on this case quietly. during all this, you also find your thoughts drifting to wonwoo more—which should not be happening. he was your partner and you had to keep things professional. but god, you can’t forget the way his hand felt in yours and the way he looked at you the other night, like he was holding himself back. your heart does something stupid at the thought and your curse. fuck no. there was no was you were starting to fall for a man who believed in aliens out of all things. that fucker. he was driving you insane.

that evening, you leave the bureau later than usual. wonwoo told you that he had to stop by somewhere, but he doesn’t tell you where. the parking lot is mostly empty expect for a few cars. you look around carefully as you walk to make sure no one’s following you. your footsteps echo on the cement as you walk towards your car. you unlock your car and slip inside quickly, locking it immediately. you just wanted to get home quick. the roads are still crowded when you drive, mostly because it’s a friday evening and people were still outside taking advantage of the weekend arriving, the nightlife alive. you keep glancing at your mirrors and that’s when you notice it—a black car behind you, tailing you. at first you think that you’re being too paranoid because it could just be a random car, but then it doesn’t. it stays right behind you keeping a certain pace and it turns exactly at your turns and when you change lanes the car behind you does too. 

you heart starts to race. the signal in front of you turns green so you slow down automatically, but the car behind you doesn’t. it accelerates and your eyes widen as you grip the wheel and brace for impact. the car behind slams into your bumper hard and you jolt forward, yelling out. your car skids forward violently and spins before hitting the pole on the sidewalk and coming to a halt. your ears are ringing from the impact and you can feel something wet drip down your temple. the taste of something metallic fills your mouth and you groan as your try to shake your head and get your thoughts in order, but your mind is fuzzy from the impact and adrenaline. you can hear people around you screaming and yelling and coming towards your car to help you. you try to move from the seat, attempting to remove the seatbelt but your grip is weak, your fingers trembling around it. you don’t see your phone light up with a text because it’s on the floor of the car now, face down.

unknown: next time you’ll be dead. stop digging.

you curse and finally manage to undo the seatbelt, pushing open the car door with whatever strength you have left and stumble out. you’re ears are still ringing and you’re pretty sure you’re disoriented. you turn around and see the red and blue lights of an ambulance heading towards you because someone must have called 911. 

the emergency room smells like antiseptic and stale air. you sit on the edge of a bed, your legs dangling below while your hands rest on your lap, fidgeting. the nurse gently cleans the wound on your temple, wiping away the blood and dabbing it with antiseptic. “any nausea?”, the nurse asks. “a little”, you admit and she hums. “you’re lucky it’s only a superficial laceration. i’ll bandage it and keep you on observation for a few hours to rule out the possibility of a concussion since you hit your head”, the nurse informs and you nod. “your phone and belongs were recovered from the car, an officer came by to hand it over. it’s by the table on the side”, she says, gesturing towards the small table next to your bed. “thank you”, you say softly, the words barely coming out.

once the nurse leaves, you’re alone again. you slowly reach out for your phone, contemplating if you should call wonwoo, and that’s when you see the text you’d missed earlier. your curse when you read it—they were still watching you and this was their final warning, like if you didn’t back off now, they’d probably do even worse. you finger hovers over a second later and you hesitate for a moment before pressing it. he answers on the second ring, like he was waiting for your call.

“Y/N?”, his voice fills your ear, warm and steady. “i’m at the ER”, you say softly and the line goes dangerously silent for a second. “what happened?”, he asks, his tone sharp now. “i-i was hit in a car accident, but i’m okay i’m not—“, you start to explain. “i’m coming”, wonwoo says before you can tell him that you’re not hurt too much,

wonwoo arrives fifteen minutes later and you hear him before you see him. you can hear his voice raised a little, arguing with someone at the desk, his voice tight barely restrained. a minute later he steps into where you’re sitting, pushing the curtain aside and entering the space. his gaze wanders over you instantly, checking if you’re okay. his eyes notice the bandage by your temple, the gauze on your knuckles and the way you’re sitting like you might just fall apart otherwise. his jaw tightens as he steps forward carefully. “what happened?”, he asks, trying to keep his cool. “i was driving and another car hit me”, you explain softly and you watch the way his fists clench at his sides. “they hit you on purpose”, wonwoo concludes with you having to tell him and you nod lightly. 

and that’s when he loses the last of his composure. “fucking hell”, he breathes out, dragging a had through his hair, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. he steps forwards again and leans in so he’s slightly at eye level with you now. his voice is low as he speaks. “did you see anything? any faces?”, he asks and you shake your head. “no, nothing. the plates will mostly likely be fake too even if we try to trace it”, you say, biting back the other piece of information. “but…they left me a text”, you whisper out. you unlock your phone and show it to him.

unknown: next time you’ll be dead. stop digging.

wonwoo reads the text and something dangerous flashes across his face, like rage, fear or something worse. wonwoo looks at you and straightens. he lets out a shaky exhale, like he’s trying to calm himself down before he does something he’s going to regret and he looks at you. “i’m okay”, you say when his eyes find yours and you see the way his jaw clenches at that. “yeah”, he says. there’s more he wants to say but he swallows it back because right now he wanted to make sure that you’re okay first. 

“don’t go home tonight, stay at my place”, wonwoo says, like it wasn’t an option anymore, his voice a little rough and you nod. “okay”. 

once you get discharged wonwoo stays behind you. he guides you to his car with a reassuring hand to your back, making sure he was close and that you were stable enough to walk. the drive is silent, the air filled with tension and something heavier. inside wonwoo’s apartment it still smells the same—like coffee and clean laundry. it feels safe. you sit on the couch and wonwoo moves to the kitchen automatically to make you a cup of tea once again. you could see the rage in him and see the way he was trying to hold back by doing this small thing for you right now, so you let him. 

“that’s it”, wonwoo says lowly, like he couldn’t take the silence anymore and couldn’t hold it back anymore. you glance over at him from the couch. “what?”, you ask. wonwoo doesn’t look at you when he repeats it. “i said that’s it, you’re off this case”, wonwoo repeats, like he’s already made the decision for you. you furrow your brows at his words and he he comes forward, closing the distance between you and him in three strides, placing the cup of tea in front of you. you barely glance at it, only looking at wonwoo.

wonwoo doesn’t sit down, instead he paces across the room, shrugging off his blazer and tossing it onto the chair. he raises his hand and yanks his tie loose in one motion before undoing the first two buttons of his shirt, like he couldn’t breathe. he rolls the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows, the movements sharp and practiced and then lets out another sign as he adjusts his glasses up the bridge of his nose, his eyes sharp behind them.

“this has gone too far”, wonwoo says, finally facing you. “so what? you’re just going to cut me off? you don’t get to decide that”, you say. his eyes settle on you, dark and restless. he runs a hand though his hair, frustration flashing across his face. silence stretches between the both of you—thick, heavy and dangerous, like one wrong move would tilt everything off balance. 

“you don’t understand”, wonwoo says before he starts pacing the room again, like whatever going on his mind won’t settle down. “i’m telling you to be careful Y/N. this case is getting too dangerous”, he says, his voice rising. you stand up now, your chest rising and falling in frustration. “so?”, you challenge, refusing to back down now. “it’s dangerous for you too and you’re still in it”, you say, questioning him. wonwoo looks at you, his voice low. “that’s different”, he says, trying to brush it off but you don’t let him. “no, it’s not. we’re partners wonwoo”, you say. “and that’s exactly why it’s different, because when it’s you, when it’s your life on the line, i can’t think straight. i can’t take that risk of losing you”, he says, his voice raised now and it carries through the room.

“you’re forgetting that i chose this job and right now i’m choosing to solve this case with you”, you say and can feel you heart thumping in your chest. “and i’m choosing to keep you safe, even if you argue with me every second of it”, wonwoo replies tightly and ou let out a exasperated sigh. 

you scoff. “so that’s it then?”, you question. “do you want to know the real reason as to why i was assigned to you in the first place?”, you ask, your tone a little bitter. “i was reassigned to you to spy on you wonwoo. i was told to debunk your stupid theories, to reign you in and to shut you down by the director”, you admit. “you think i didn’t know that from moment you walked into the x-files department?”, wonwoo questions immediately, his voice sharper now and you stare at him. “you knew?”, you ask. “it isn’t really hard to put the dots together. the director’s been on my back about it for months so i knew you were put there to keep me in line”, wonwoo says. “then why didn’t you say anything?”, you question. “because that’s none of my business”, wonwoo replies lowly.

“but i believe you”, you say after a moment and wonwoo’s head snaps towards you. “what?”, he asks, adjusting his glasses, like he didn’t hear you right. “i believe that there’s something more to all this. the tech, the samples and all the things we can’t explain yet. i don’t know what it is but i know it’s real and that we’re so close to figuring it out.”, you say. wonwoo looks at you like you’re the one whose gone mad now because that’s usually his line.

wonwoo’s expression tightens, his jaw set tight. “that’s exactly why you need to step away Y/N”, he says. “no”, you say and wonwoo raises a brow lightly. “this isn’t what you signed up for Y/N. you joined to investigate crimes, corruptions and ordinary cases with set rules and protocol—not this”, wonwoo says, looking at you, sliding his hands in his pockets. 

“so what? you think this doesn’t have rules or patterns? i’m starting to see it wonwoo, i want to believe”, you say, slowly taking a step closer. “no, you don’t Y/N”, wonwoo says. “you’re going to end up chasing after something that people don’t believe in”, he says, his voice rough and low. “but you’re doing that too”, you counter and wonwoo looks down at the floor and then back up at you. “and look where that got me, living on the edge and chasing after leads no one wants to believe and fighting a system that erases things instead of believing them”, wonwoo confesses.

you’re quiet for a moment, his words sinking in. “i’m not backing off, i want to do this with you”, you tell and wonwoo shakes his head in denial. “no Y/N. you’re too good of an officer to waste your talents on something like this. i would never forgive myself if you got outcasted or wasted your talent here”, wonwoo says and that only seems to upset you even more. you hated that he was calling the shots for you. “i can live with the risks and being called weird and spooky, but i can’t let you give up your excellent career just to chase after x-files and things that don’t exist”, wonwoo finishes and you clench your fists by your side, upset. “you don’t even believe half the things i do Y/N”, he says. “and i know you think my methods are reckless and stupid and you hate my theories, but this isn’t about beliefs or theories or how many times we’ve argued over conflicting opinions”, he continues. “this is about the fact that i can’t watch you get swallowed up by something you didn’t see coming”, wonwoo finishes. 

“you think i can’t handle it?”, you question, raising your voice slightly now. “as much as i preach about only believing science and hard facts, i’ve seen things that i can’t…unsee. i want to believe wonwoo. i want to know the truth, no matter how bizarre, absurd or twisted it is. i want to believe”, you say louder. wonwoo looks at you and visibly sighs. “i’m not scared and i want to know how this ends”, you repeat. “you should be scared Y/N, you almost died”, wonwoo tells and you can only stare at him. “why? because it scares you?”, you question and something unreadable flashes behind his eyes. “because i know what it costs and i don’t want you to be the one to pay for it”, he says “it would kill me to see you get hurt because of something i dragged you into”, he says, his voice raw with emotion now and your breathe stutters. 

you look at him, frustrated. “you don’t get to just tell me what i can and can’t do. i can make a call for myself”, you say louder. “i can, especially when you’re stepping into my world”, wonwoo says sharply, his gaze dark and heavy on you. you look at him. “you’re only pushing me away because you’re scared that i’ll get hurt”, you conclude and you see something flash across his eyes. wonwoo doesn’t answer you but he doesn’t deny it either. “you can’t just make an emotional decision like that”, you add. 

“you think i don’t want the truth Y/N? you think i don’t want you by my side?”, he snaps lowly. “this isn’t something you can just walk away from. once you see it and accept it, there’s no going back. you don’t get to go back to normal”, wonwoo says. 

“maybe i don’t want normal anymore”, you say and the words hang between you both, thick and heavy. “i can handle whatever’s thrown my way Y/N, but i can’t always protect you”, wonwoo says, his voice tight and rough around the edges as he takes a slow step forward. “i’m not asking you to”, you state. “and that’s exactly what terrifies me”, wonwoo says. you can only stare at him, a small scowl on your lips and he looks at you and you let out a short, exasperated breathe. 

“fuck”, wonwoo mutters under his breath before he looks at you and stalks forward closing the gap between you both quickly and he’s in front of you before you can react. his hands come up to cup your cheeks and he leans in. his hands are warm against your cheeks. 

“god, your drive me fucking insane”, he whispers before closing the gap and kissing you. the kiss is urgent and  filled with everything he’s been holding back, like his restraint finally snapped under the weight of everything unspoken. you gasp softly against his mouth before kissing him back, your fingers curling into the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer as his lips move against yours. one of his hand drops to your waist, holding you tighter and anchoring you there, like he’s scared you’ll disappear if he doesn’t hold you. 

you pull away just enough to breathe, peering up at him, your chest rising and falling. “i could say the same thing about you”, you say softly and he raises a brow, his eyes dark behind his glasses that sit pretty on his face. “oh yeah?”, he questions lowly. “yeah”, you answer, tugging him back in and kissing him again. this time the kiss is slower, more deliberate, more intimate. wonwoo deepens the kiss, tilting his head as he moves his lips against yours. your lips are soft and warm and he can’t seem to stop. his thumb brushes against your cheek and his grip on your waist tightens as he pulls you closer into him, moving his lips against yours and kissing you until your mind is fuzzy.

the next morning arrives quietly. light filters through the blinds and streaks inside wonwoo’s apartment. you stir slightly and the faint smell of coffee in the air awakens you. you’re lying down on the couch, a blanket carefully draped over you that’s been pulled over till your chest. you blink your eyes open and the memory of last night slowly comes back to you. your hear the soft clink of a glass being set down. wonwoo’s standing by the window, his back turned to you. his hair is slightly tousled, like he ran his hand through it far too many times.

his sleeves are still rolled up but his tie is gone and his shirt is more crumpled now, like he slept it in and didn’t bother to change. he looks little vulnerable but his posture is still rigid, like he’s still alert and refuses to rest. one of his hand is causally in his pocket, the other holding the mug of coffee. you shift a little, slowly sitting up, softly wincing in pain because your body protests at the effort of sitting up, still sore from the accident earlier.

“you’re awake”, wonwoo simply says before turning around to face you. he motions to the cup of coffee that’s on the table in front of you, steam curling at the top. “i made coffee”, he says. “thanks”, you murmur and reach out for it, letting the warmth of the cup seep into your palms. 

“are you okay?”, he asks, looking at you carefully. there’s still that lingering ache at your temple and a faint soreness in your wrists and body overall from the impact of the accident yesterday. “i think so”, you say, giving him a small smile. he nods and silence engulfs you both again. the events of last night sit between the both of you like an elephant in the room—the argument, his words, the kiss and the way neither of you pulled away. he doesn’t bring it up, so you don’t either.

“i’m still serious about you backing off from this case”, he says. you can still see the tension in his jaw, in the way he speaks. he hasn’t given himself a moment to relax because how can he when there’s so much at stake here—when you’re at stake. you just look at him, taking a slow sip of the coffee. “and i’m still serious about doing this with you”, you say. “i figured”, he says, like he’s accepting defeat. you sip your coffee in silence and you’re painfully aware of the silence now. you set the cup down, half finished. “i should go home”, you say. “i’ll drive you”, he simply says and you nod. 

the car ride is almost suffocating, neither of you speaking or bringing up the kiss and it’s nearly killing you. you keep stealing glances at wonwoo as he drives and his jaw is set tight and he only looks at the road straight ahead. your gaze dips to his lips and you think about the way he kissed you and swallow, looking away, your cheeks heating up. wonwoo pulls up to your building and parks the car. you glance at him and then gather your things. “text me when you’re inside”, wonwoo says. you nod. “and if anything feels off call me”, he instructs and you nod, swallowing whatever else you wanted to say and step out of the car. 

that evening, wonwoo is back inside dr.shin’s residence, but this time he goes through the front door because he had the keys. wonwoo swiftly steps inside, closing the door shut behind him. wonwoo walks inside and it’s quiet and undisturbed like he’d left it, but there’s something in the air. he notices that there’s a packet of bread left on the counter and crumbs around it, a knife and plate left behind. someone had been here recently…or someone was here now. wonwoo quietly and carefully steps forward and that’s when he hears a sound—someone moving. wonwoo turns his head towards the direction of the noise and he seems something move. 

“hey, stop!”, wonwoo calls out. the man comes into view, running upstairs and wonwoo follows, running behind him. “FBI, stop running”, wonwoo calls out and he lunges forward, grabbing onto the man, who puts up a fight but quickly surrenders, letting out a groan of pain. wonwoo loosens his grip on the man and he can finally see his face clearly—the suspect—dr.shin’s friend. 

“you’re dr.shin’s friend”, wonwoo says and the guy nods. “i’m FBI, let me help you”, wonwoo says and the guy looks at him, skeptical. “i know what dr.shin was doing and i’m not here to hurt you”, wonwoo repeats. the man looks at wonwoo and stops fighting back. “what’s your name?”, wonwoo asks. the man hesitates for a second before speaking. “baekho”, the man says. “baekho…okay. i need you to come with me, i’ll take you somewhere safe for the time being”, wonwoo says, standing up straighter and gesturing for baekho to follow him. but what wonwoo didn’t know is that someone else was in the house too.

wonwoo turns his back and starts to talk, speaking when the loud echo of a gunshot rings through the air. baekho gasps and crumbles to the ground immediately and wonwoo turns around. there’s a guy in a black suit, but he’s wearing a mask and cap so wonwoo can’t identify him. wonwoo bends down to help baekho and the masked man comes forward swiftly and stabs something sharp in wonwoo neck. the prick is sharp and wonwoo groans and pulls the masked man’s hands of him. he already knows what it is—a sedative. 

within seconds, wonwoo’s vision starts to blur around the edges and his knees give out as he collapses onto the ground, muttering something inaudible. the last thing wonwoo sees is the masked man dragging baekho’s body before his vision turns black. ten minutes later wonwoo’s phone lights up with a call from you.

you step in your apartment and everything suddenly feels wrong. the air feels too still and too quiet. you slowly walk inside and put down the bag of groceries on the table. you look around cautiously. you don’t turn on the other lights but instead you pull out your phone and call wonwoo—but it goes straight to voicemail. your curse and try calling him again and again but he doesn’t pick up. on the last try you finally speak, leaving him a voicemail. you shift and move towards the cabinet in the hall to retrieve your gun. your fingers curl around the cold metal of the gun tightly and then you see something shift.  y

ou turn and the blood nearly drains from your face. your back up and hit the chair, tripping. “wait—“, you say, your voice getting captured on the voicemail. the phone slips from your hand as something grabs you from behind. you let out a shriek. “NO LET ME GO”, you yell out, trying to fight whoever grabbed you. you end up getting slammed into the wall and your head starts to spin, your previous wound at your temple blooming with pain and you whimper out in pain. “wonwoo! please—help—i—“, you try to get before you phone slips from your hand and clatters to the ground, the voicemail disconnecting. 

wonwoo only wakes up two hours later. his head is still heavy and there’s a dull pain at the back of his head. his eyes flicker open as he takes in his surroundings and remembers what happened. he groans lowly and shakes his head to clear his head. he scrambles to stand up, grabbing the wall as he tries to steady himself, still a little dizzy. he reaches out to grab his phone from the floor and the screen is slightly cracked now. he shoves it into his pocket without a word and wonwoo looks around him and the one eerie thing is that there isn’t any bloodstains on the floor, like some cleaned up, like someone didn’t want anyone or wonwoo to know that someone was shot there.

wonwoo rushes downstairs and the house is just a sit was left, the plate, knife and breadcrumbs now cleared up, like the didn’t want to leave any trace of the suspect—baekho here. fuck. he’d just lost his best chance at figuring out everything. he curses under his breathe and moves towards the car, heading back outside.

wonwoo rushes back out and sits in the car, turning on the engine. he takes a few breathes as he digs out his phone from his pocket to call you. his phone lights up at the motion, notifications filling his screen—three missed calls and one voicemail—all from you. wonwoo’s heart drops in his chest as his fingers move to click on the voicemail, playing it.

“wonwoo something’s wrong…i don’t know.”, you say into the phone, your voice and breathing a little shallow. “i didn’t want to overreact but i can’t shake this weird feeling. can you come over?”, you ask, your voice a little shaky from the nerves. there’s a pause and he can hear the shuffle of your feet as you move. “wonwoo i’m scared”, you say softly. there’s a sound in the background and he hears the sharp inhale of your breath. “wait i heard something…wonwoo i think there’s—“, your voice is cut off and you let out a loud shriek. “no let me go”, your voice comes high and panicked and wonwoo’s pulse spikes. there’s a crash and he catches the way you whimper in pain. “wonwoo! please help—i—“, you repeat but then there’s loud thud and clattering and then the line disconnects. 

the line goes dead and his blood runs cold. wonwoo wastes no time in driving there, his foot on the accelerator as he tries to get to you the fastest he could. by the time wonwoo skids at a halt in front of your building, his hands are shaky and he’s hoping you’re okay. your rushes up the stairs, two at a time and when he steps onto the landing. his hand reaches out to open your door, turning the knob but it doesn’t budge—it’s locked. weird. wonwoo bangs on the door. “Y/N?”, he calls out but he’s only met with silence. wonwoo looks at the potted plants that line the corner of your door and something shiny catches his eye. he bends down and dusts off the excess mud—a spare key. he grabs with without a second thought and unlocks the door to your apartment. 

wonwoo steps inside, gun already in his hand as he moves inside and the air feels still, like it’s almost frozen in time. a bag of groceries is spilled over with a few items on the floor. glass is shattered from your window and it litters the floor. a chair tilted on the floor and there’s a small smear of blood on the wall. your phone is face down on the floor. wonwoo moves through the apartment, checking each room but it’s all empty—you’re gone. his heart slams against his ribs as he tries to make sense of this. he stands in the middle of your living room, his fists clenched by his sides and he curses. he should have been here.

within the next 30 minutes, doesn’t waste any more time and he files a report at the bureau. missing agent, possible abduction and the last known location was your apartment. the bureau responds immediately because a federal agent missing is not joking matter and they get the local police department involved, putting out a bolo and priority alert for agent Y/N. a team is sent in to your apartment to sweep down for evidence. wonwoo get’s called in and questioned about you

when did you last see agent Y/N?

was she acting differently or usual lately?

any known threats?

did she feel like she was in danger lately?

any personal relationships?

wonwoo answers each question honestly and professionally. for the first six hours, everything seems to be going well until it isn’t anymore. the next morning when wonwoo goes to the bureau and goes to the room where the team is handing your case. “you’re off this case agent jeon, you’re too personally involved”, the team lead assigned to this case says. wonwoo can sense that the urgency of the case has dimmed down—it’s more careful now, measured almost, like they’re following someone’s else’s orders now. wonwoo requests for CCTV access and he’s denied, saying they didn’t get it yet.

wonwoo asks for your phone records but he’s told that they didn’t get the authorisation for it yet and they’re waiting for the subpoena. as the days pass, he realises that the bureau’s stopped actively searching for you. why? because they’ve been told to stand down, to wait and to just bid time. wonwoo’s been given a store burglary to investigate, burying him in stupid, useless paperwork but the only thing on his mind is finding you. on the fifth day wonwoo can’t take it anymore and decides that he’ll just do some digging of his own.

it’s late now and wonwoo sits in his car that’s still parked by his building. he picks up his phone and calls a number—someone he trusted and knew who could help him. “sergeant choi”, wonwoo says when the phone is picked up. the line is silent for a moment. “you don’t call me that unless you’re in deep shit man”, seungcheol’s voice floats through. “i need your help, please”, wonwoo asks. seungcheol catches on the urgency in this tone and maybe something else too. “you okay? what happened?”, seungcheol asks.

“she’s missing”, wonwoo says. “who’s she?”, seungcheol asks.“my partner”, wonwoo replies instantly. “how long?”, seungcheol asks. “it’s been five days now. the bureau started the case and search strong, but now they’ve slowed down and they’ve put me off the case. i’ve been denied access to the cctv footage, phone records and everything else”, wonwoo explains. “that’s bullshit”, seungcheol mumbles over the phone. “they should have all hands on deck for a missing federal agent”, seungcheol says. “i just need to see the CCTV footage from her building…before that’s gone too”, wonwoo asks. seungcheol exhales. “i’ll see what i can do. meet me in four hours”, seungcheol says. 

four hours, three arguments, two threats and one favour later, seungcheol has the CCTV footage. wonwoo meets seungcheol in the parking lot of a mall. it was a neutral space and less likely to be eavesdropped on. seungcheol opens the door and sits in the car, glancing at wonwoo. “you look like hell”, seungcheol comments. “i could say the same thing about you”, wonwoo says flatly and seungcheol’s mouth curves into a tired smirk. “did you get it?”, wonwoo asks, his hands still gripping the steering wheel tightly, like he needed something to hold onto and stay grounded. seungcheol digs into his jacket and hands him a pendrive.

“the building management didn’t want to cooperate. they kept saying that the system was under maintenance and that the CCTV wasn’t working that day. i pulled some strings and threatened the IT guy that if they were lying they’d get fined for aiding and abetting. then they gave me this. i told them that this between me and them so unless they’re really stupid, they won’t run their mouths.”, seungcheol explains. wonwoo grips the pendrive in his fist. “if anyone asks, you didn’t get this from me”, seungcheol adds a beat later and wonwoo nods. 

“you do love intimidating people”, wonwoo says lowly and seungcheol only glares at him. “she important to you?”, seungcheol asks moment later, the air getting serious again. wonwoo looks at seungcheol. “yeah”, wonwoo says. seungcheol looks ahead and lets out a exhale. “hmm, thought so”, seungcheol says. “love makes us do crazy things, makes you bend rules you swore you wouldn’t”, seungcheol says. “you speaking from experience?”, wonwoo questions. seungcheol doesn’t answer right away. “let’s just say i get where you’re coming from”, seungcheol tells and the air is quiet again. “i’ll head out”, seungcheol says a moment later. “be careful and don’t do anything reckless”, seungcheol warns lightly. “thank you, i owe you one”, wonwoo says. seungcheol hums in response and gets out of the car and wonwoo is alone again. he grips the pendrive harder. 

back home, wonwoo inserts the pen drive into his laptop and takes a deep breath before he clicks on the video, playing the footage from the evening you disappeared. the video is dulled out, the colours faded, not exactly sharp and the quality is a little grainy. he sees you walking in—at 6:33 PM. you enter the building, walking inside with a bag of groceries in your hand. he notices the way you hesitate at your door, pausing before you push it open fully, like you knew something was wrong before you even entered your apartment. wonwoo watches you enter your apartment and lock the door behind you. then the camera glitches and distorts and a figure passes but it’s so distorted and blurred out wonwoo can’t make out anything. then the footage resets, clean, like nothing ever happened. wonwoo looks at the timestamp—6:44 PM. eleven minutes are missing. “what the fuck”, he curses, rewinding and playing the footage again. what the hell happened to you?

wonwoo curses again because this footage only confirms this thoughts and what he dreading for these past two days. when the bureau put him off and started barely searching for you, that’s when he knew, there was more to your disappearance then they were letting on. you didn’t just disappear—you were abducted by something.

you remember being taken, that part is clear, but then everything after that feels wrong. when you wake up again, it feels as if you’re almost floating in air. you aren’t restrained by anything but you can’t move. you’re suspended in the air and held in place by something that doesn’t feel natural. everything around you looks white and hazy and you can’t see anything clearly ahead of you, like you’re surrounded by a big cloud of fog. there’s no walls, no ceilings or no sense of direction or distance with you just suspended in space without any barriers. your thoughts scatter and you panic for a second before something washes over you and suddenly you don’t panic anymore. you feel the presence of something next to you, like they’re reading in your mind and smoothing over your thoughts. your mind feels exposed, like whoever was near you was listening and reading in. they weren’t trying to hurt you, but just trying to observe and see. you slowly realise that they weren’t interested in your body. they were interested in your mind and how it works and reacts. a question floats in your mind by them and you answer it in fully in your mind, like you were communication telepathically. you’re aware of yourself without you meaning to. you can sense things without moving. you can speak without talking and you can hear even if you don’t want to listen. you can feel the weight of the presence, like other being surrounding you, trying to communicate with you. after that you lose track of time. 

you’d been gone for a week, but to you it felt like months. you don’t even remember returning. one moment there’s light and you’re suspended and the next moment the air is cold and you’re scared on the forest floor. you’re clothes are suspiciously clean and you look around, disoriented. you don’t know how you got there—but you know that something let you go.

that evening, they find you at dusk, just as the sun is setting. a forest ranger finds you disoriented, armed and not responding to verbal communication and called it in. within minutes, tactical units are dispatched and officers make their way towards your location. 20 minutes later, a black SUV screeches on the dirt road and the tactical units fall out, surrounding you. their guns are raised, pointing at you as they yell and shout at you, but you’re not listening. you don’t know what’s going on. you stand by the clearing, frozen, hands on your gun, raised. 

wonwoo only finds out through a panicked agent in the bureau hallways, who’s frantically speaking to someone else on the phone and wonwoo overhears. “they found her out by the city forest. the tactical unit is already there and they said she’s armed and dangerous, so they think she’s a threat”, the man says on the phone. that’s all wonwoo’s needs to know and he’s sprinting down the hallway to his car. wonwoo drives like a mad man, possibly breaking ever single traffic rule to ever exist but he doesn’t care, not right now.

when wonwoo reaches the site, the air is charged with something. people surround the area—too many people he notes. men in black tactical gear, FBI police officers all line the perimeter, like they’re standing guard. wonwoo walks right in, trying to push through. “agent jeon, you’re not authorised to be here”, someone says, stopping him. “she’s my partner”, wonwoo says, but they don’t budge. “stand down agent jeon, this is an containment operation”, one of the tactical officers speaks. “containment operation”, wonwoo scoffs. “she’s not some criminal for godsake, she’s a federal agent”, wonwoo shouts, frustrated. wonwoo shoves past the tactical officer, shoves past another officer and walks through the crowd like a man on a mission.

wonwoo sees you in the middle of the clearing and his heart nearly stops. you’re surrounded like you’re some sort of prey. wonwoo notices the bandage that’s still on your temple, still neat and clean. you’re knuckles are still lightly bruised and you’re eyes are blown wide, your pupils dilated, darting from side to side. the gun in your hand is raised and held out, but your hands shake around it, like your hand isn’t steady. he odd thing? your clothes are completely spotless—wrong for someone who’s been missing for a week because it looks like you never disappeared.

you didn’t mean any harm, you were just scared and acting on self defensive. the forest is lit up and surrounded like a crime scene, floodlights cutting through the trees and red lasers pointed over trees and over you. officers and people are shouting and the voices overlap and you’re shaking, standing there like a deer frozen in headlight with your gun raised. you’re holding onto the gun like it’s the only thing keeping the world from collapsing onto you. 

“drop the weapon!” “hands where we can see them!”, people yell but you don’t move. “put the weapon down”, someone yells out louder and your breathe comes out shallow. your eyes dart to the people in front of you, looking at all the guns that were pointed at you.

wonwoo walks right into the clearing, right into the middle of the scene. “Y/N”, he calls out and your head snaps towards him.  “it’s me, i’m right here”, wonwoo says, stepping and moving forwards despite the shouts of protest behind him. “agent jeon, step back!”, someone calls out but he ignores it. his only focus right now was you.

you stare at wonwoo, eyes wide and you raise your gun slightly and it’s pointed right at his chest now. collective gasps are heard from behind and multiple tactical officers raise their guns too, pointing them at you. wonwoo doesn’t budge. “it’s okay”, he says gently. “if you don’t trust anyone else, just trust me”, wonwoo repeats looking at you, his eyes searching yours. 

“agent jeon, stand down right now! you’re compromising the operation”, the team lead calls out but wonwoo ignores it again. someone moves forward and you move the gun in that direction. more shouts and chaos erupts and something in wonwoo snaps. he turns around and yells. “put your damn guns down, you’re scaring her and treating her like some fugitive”, he yells, his voice tight and laced with anger. “she’s a liability agent jeon, she’s armed and dangerous”, someone says at the front. wonwoo’s jaw clenches tighter. “you better shut the fuck up and tell your team to lower their damn guns right now or else you’re going to see what armed and dangerous really is”, wonwoo says through gritted teeth, staring at the man, his chest rising and falling with frustration. 

wonwoo turns back around again and he slowly, deliberately reaches out for his own gun at his holster, making sure you can see the movement. several officers tense at wonwoo’s action, starting at him. “agent jeon, what are you doing?”, someone yells again but wonwoo isn’t listening anymore. wonwoo pulls his gun free and then throws it to the ground. you watch it land on the dirt and then look at him. his arms are raised now in surrender and he’s looking at you. someone moves behind wonwoo and you look at them, moving the gun again. 

“look at me”, wonwoo says gently. “just focus on me”, wonwoo says, his voice trying to guide you back and ground you to him. “i’m not going to hurt you okay?”, wonwoo says gently, his voice completely different with you. your gun is still raised and still pointed at wonwoo. “i-i don’t know what’s happening wonwoo”, you finally speak, your fingers trembling around the gun. he can see the panic and fear in your eyes. “i know”, he says, stepping closer despite the protests behind him. “i don’t know what’s going on, i just woke up and i was here”, you say thought teary eyes. “put the gun down for me”, he asks, taking another step forward and you don’t move, your eyes tracking his movements. you don’t believe him.

i’m not going to hurt you”, wonwoo repeats slowly but you shake your head and lift the gun more now. “i don’t know who to trust, i don’t know what to believe. i think i’m going crazy”, you say. “how do i know it’s really you?”, you ask your voice lower now, but wonwoo hears it. “it’s me Y/N. you can trust me, please”, he pleads, taking another slow step forward. behind wonwoo, everyone is tense, their guns halfway raised and tense because right now one wrong move could tip this entire operation. 

“sweetheart please, put the gun down for me yeah?”, wonwoo asks again. you look at wonwoo again and you’re grip around the gun slowly starts to loosen. you slowly start to lower the gun, your shoulders sagging with the motion. “that’s it, you’re doing so good for me”, wonwoo encourages. you lower the gun fully now, releasing your grip on it and the gun slips past your fingers clattering down onto the dirt. wonwoo closes the gap between you in immediately, pulling you into his chest like he’s afraid you’ll disappear again. “i don’t know what happened”, you say your voice shaking and wonwoo cradles your head. “i know, it’s okay”, he says. your fingers grip wonwoo’s jacket rightly, like it’s the only real thing you can believe right now. and for a exactly five seconds the world is still—before chaos erupts.

“medical team move in!”, someone shouts. “agent jeon, step aside”, someone else yells near wonwoo. “secure the subject”, someone else calls out. a pair of hands grab you, too tight, too fast and you cry out. “NO—please—wonwoo”, you call you and his grip on you tightens instinctively. “you can’t take her like this, she’s terrified”, wonwoo shouts. “that’s not your call agent jeon”, the medic says and you’re yanked from his arms. you scream his name again and this time the tactical officers surround wonwoo, holding him back as they drag you away. 

“someone restrain her and get a sedative!”, the medic shouts and a moment later you feel something poke your arm. “i’m right here Y/N”, he calls out as he fights the officers holding him back. “wonwoo”, you say weakly as your vision blurs and you black out. they hold wonwoo back, not letting them see where they take you. they load you into a high security armoured medical van and leave. 

“what did you fucking do”, wonwoo spits out, pulling his hands out of the grips of the officers holding him back. “agent jeon, for christ’s sake stand down!”, the team lead says walking upto wonwoo. “stand down?”, wonwoo repeats. “agent jeon, you’re done here”, the team lead repeats and when wonwoo tries to step forward, two men in black suits block his path—eerily calm.

“she’s my partner, a federal agent and you had no right to restrain her like that”, wonwoo yells, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “she was armed and unstable. she was a threat”, the team lead says calmly, pissing wonwoo off even more. “that’s bullshit and you know it. you pointed dozens of your guns at her and you expect her to stay calm? she was scared and confused”, wonwoo explains. “she lowered her weapon in the end, she trusted me”, wonwoo says. “and that’s exactly the problem. you’re too emotionally involved in his. you compromised a containment operation and made a reckless decision”, the team lead says sternly. wonwoo raises his brow, taking a step forward. “containment operation? you mean kidnapping in the guise of medical care?”, wonwoo says and something flashes across the team lead’s face. 

“watch your tone agent jeon”, the team lead warns. “or what?”, wonwoo snaps, staring the man down. “go home agent jeon”, the team lead simply says before turning around and walking away. wonwoo turns around, frustrated and angry and upset and he raises his fist, punching the tree beside him. his knuckles bruise and it stings and he clenches his fist tighter letting out a shaky exhale. wonwoo turns around, still fuming and walks towards the team lead, stopping right in his path and grabbing him by the collar. “where did you take her?”, wonwoo asks through gritted teeth. a few other officers step forward but stop the team lead raises his hand, telling them to back off. wonwoo stares the team lead down. “even if i told you agent jeon, you wouldn’t be able to see her”, the team lead says, which only makes wonwoo more upset. “fuck you”, wonwoo spits out, letting go of his grip on the team lead and walking away. he was going to find you no matter what. 

when you wake up, you’re mind is still hazy. your eyelids are heavy and you try to blink open your eyes and struggle to keep your eyes open. you try to sit up but your hands give in and you fall back onto the bed. whatever dosage of sedation they had given you was strong. you groan softly and flutter your eyes open again and this time someone notices—a nurse. 

“oh you poor thing, you’re awake”, a kind looking middle aged nurse says, walking toward you. you try to shake your head lightly and blink your eyes open but your temple is throbbing and your throat is dry and the last thing you remember is wonwoo’s face before they plucked you from his arms. you blink again and your eyes slowly adjust to the bright white light that fills the room. there’s an IV line in your hand, a bunch of monitors beeping behind you and the room looks too white, clean and clinical, like it was a lab and you were the experiment. 

“where am i?”, you ask, the words coming out broken and low. the nurse only gives you a small look of pity. “you’ll be okay here darling. once they get their answers they want, you’ll be let back out”, the nurse says. you don’t know if you should trust her or not, but there was something that made you want to trust her, or at least, she was nicer to you than the other people so far. she offers you some water and you sip it up from the straw like you haven’t had water in days, which is probably true. you look at her again and it’s like she can sense your fear and apprehension. “i’ll make sure you’re comfortable here alright. they might be rough with you at times, but in the end they will let you go alright”, she explains again, even though you have no idea what that’s supposed to mean. 

a moment later a two men and two women enter the room. they’re wearing long white trench coats so you assume they’re doctors. you try to take a peek at the badge that hangs around their neck but you can’t make out much. you watch as they approach you with a sort of fascination, like you’re some animal and you survived something you shouldn’t have. “good, you’re finally awake”, one of the men says. you only blink. you want to speak but your throat is still dry and the words die on your tongue. you only manage to swallow and continue to look at them. “let’s collect some blood for another round of testing to see if the abnormalities are still persisting”, the guy says. abnormalities? they continue to look at you, scribble something down on their notepads and leave, including the nurse who spoke to your earlier. when the door opens again, it’s a different nurse, a younger one. 

“i’ll just collect some blood miss Y/N.”, she instructs, her back turned to you as she prepares the syringe. she turns to you and gives you a small smile and it’s supposed to reassure you but it doesn’t. you watch as she carefully cleans the area with antiseptic and then carefully inserts the needle, drawing the blood. you look away and gulp. you wanted to know where you were. you wanted to know what was happening. you wanted wonwoo.

“where am i?”, you ask the young nurse but she doesn’t look at you and doesn’t speak. “you’re recovering here”, is all she gives you but that’s not an answer. “i heard them saying something about abnormalities? what is that supposed to mean?”, you ask, trying again but she doesn’t respond. she removes the needle from your skin a little harshly and you wince slightly. she turns around and walks away, leaving your question hanging in the air. 

you’re alone now, sitting in the room. it feels unnerving, the entire place, the room. something was wrong here and there was something no one was telling you. hours pass and you hear the door click open from outside. it’s the older nurse again and she’s carrying a tray with food this time. “here darling, you should eat something”, she says, carefully setting the tray down in front of you. you look down at the food—patient food. oatmeal that looks unappetising, a stale piece of bread, some sad looking fruit and some orange juice that was far too sour instead of sweet. 

“where am i? what’s going on? why won’t anyone tell me anything?”, you ask softly, looking at the elder nurse. she only sighs softly, offering you an apologetic look. “you’ll find out soon enough”, she says. then she turns around and hands you another small cup with some pills. “have these after eating, don’t forget”, she instructs. 

“i want to see agent jeon”, you ask, not taking the cup of pills from her hand. she looks at you. “please, i just want to see him”, you ask again and she shakes her head. “no visitors allowed”, she explains and your furrow your brows. “what?”, you ask. “you’ll be out soon enough”, she says and sets the cup beside your tray before walking out. the eerie quietness hangs in the air again and it’s almost suffocating. you don’t eat and you don’t take the pills. you set the tray on the table beside your bed and curl up on your side, pulling the blanket over your body like it was the only thing that could offer you any sort of comfort for the time being. 

that evening you hear the full click of the lock sliding open and your door unlocking. someone steps inside but you don’t turn around, still under the blankets. you hear the shuffle of feet. “you didn’t eat”, the voice says, the one you recognise as the elder nurse. you don’t respond. right now the only thing you wanted was to see wonwoo. “if you don’t comply they’ll get mad”, the nurse says and you hear the faint scrape of the tray being moved but you still don’t respond or turn around. you hear the soft sigh and footsteps as the nurse walks out, the lock shutting in place behind you.

for the last five days, wonwoo had been trying his damnest of figure out where they had taken you. whoever did it made sure to keep the trail clean because he couldn’t find any leads or anything that might lead him to you. he curses under his breath for the nth time today and tugs his tie loose. he runs a hand though his hair and sighs. he can’t stop replaying the moment he found you out in the forest. the way you looked like nothing happened, like you didn’t disappear, but you were shaking and disoriented and confused. the way you held the gun and the way your hands trembled around it. the way you screamed his name when they plucked you from his grasp and sedated you like you weren’t human. wonwoo picks up his phone and calls the only person who might have some answers—the mystery man.

the phone rings the line connects on the last few rings. the line is quiet for a moment before the voice floats in. “i know why you’re calling agent jeon”, the mystery man starts. wonwoo is silent, his jaw clenched. “i’m afraid i cannot help you on this matter”, the mystery man adds and wonwoo furrows his brows, upset. “what do you mean you can’t help me?”, he asks, his voice rough his anger. “she’s safe is all i can say agent jeon”, the mystery man says. wonwoo gets visibly more upset. “that’s fucking bullshit. where the hell is she”, wonwoo demands, raising his voice. “what have you done with her”, wonwoo asks, his voice coming out a little defeated now.

“she’s recovering agent jeon. she’s been taken to a classified government research facility and that’s all the information i will provide you with. you will not try to seek her out or engage with her, is that clear agent jeon?”, the mystery man says, like a warning. “why the hell not”, wonwoo asks. “because the harder you make this agent jeon, she pays the price”, the mystery man says and wonwoo lets out a shaky exhale, frustrated and upset. “then when can i see her”, wonwoo asks after a moment, his tone a little quieter now. “soon enough”, the mystery man replies. “i suggest you use this time wisely and figure out what you’re so close to”, the mystery man says before cutting the call.

you don’t even know the time anymore or how long you’ve been here. there’s no clock in your room. there’s no windows in your room—all on purpose—to disrupt your sense of time. you notice how your door locks from the outside every time, so you can’t escape. you notice the armed guard on patrol outside 24/7 when you step outside for yet another test that they won’t explain why you need. that’s not normal for a hospital—you were somewhere else, being held, being contained. you were being lied to, told that you were in a secure hospital but hospitals didn’t have doors that locked from the outside and didn’t have armed guards patrolling around. 

you haven’t been eating properly and you haven’t been taking your pills, which seem to be upsetting the doctors there. this time when a nurse comes to draw your blood again for yet another blood test, you get upset. you’re so tired of being prodded and poked at like some like some sort of experiment and you don’t want to be apart of this. you don’t let the nurse draw your blood. you can see the slight surprise flicker across her face when you refuse to offer your hand so that she can draw your blood. “i want to go home”, you say, staring at her, glaring almost. 

she presses her lips into a tight line, looking at you. “if you don’t cooperate i’m going to have to restrain you”, she says and you only look at her. you don’t know what comes over you but stand up from the bed and walk towards the door, trying to pull it open but of course it doesn’t budge. you helplessly try again but it’s no use. “let me out, you can’t hold me here like this”, you say. you turn around to look at the nurse, who’s pressed a button and you can hear something echoing in the corridors outside. “you shouldn’t have done that, i told you to listen to me”, the nurse says again. you back away from the door and go back to the other side of the room, your back hitting the wall. 

you can hear the loud patter of heavy boots outside your room. you try to look around to see if you can use anything and you spot the a pair of scissors next to the tray that the nurse bought in. you lunge for it, pushing the nurse aside and you grab the scissors, opening it and holding the blade to your wrist. the door unlocks and bursts open with a heavy thud. a bunch of men armed with guns file into the room, their heavy boots echoing against the tiled floor. you look around and press the blade harder against your wrist. “i just want to know where i am and what’s happening”, you plead to the nurse as you back up against the wall again. you watch the doctor who came into the room signal the armed men to stand down. the doctor, an middle aged man looks at you and sighs, like you were being an inconvenience. 

“put that down miss Y/N or else we’re going to have to restrain you”, the doctor says looking at you and you only blink at him. you don’t listen and you dig the blade harder into your skin and it stings now. the doctor notices and repeats his words. “come one miss Y/N. you want to get out of here right? then you need to cooperate and put the scissors down”, the doctor repeats. “just tell me what’s going on? where am i, who are you and why i’m here and why can’t i leave”, you question one after another, your chest rising and falling as you try to make sense of the situation. you were scared and no one was telling you anything and you just wanted some answers. hot tears prickle at the corners of your eye and you press the blade harder into your skin. you don’t know what you’re doing anymore. you press the blade even more harder and drag it across your wrist, and blood seeps through and spills down your wrist immediately, warm and wet. 

you look down at your wrist and your vision blurs. you hear shouts and people yelling around you and you drop the scissors, blood dripping down your wrist as tears roll down your cheeks. someone grabs your arm and drags you towards the bed and your body follows this time because you don’t have the energy to fight anymore. you look down at your wrist again and someone is holding a towel around it, but it’s soaked red already. you feel someone restrain your other hand to the bed and you pass out on your own from the exhaustion of it all.

you wake up hours later, disoriented and your head is throbbing. you don’t open your eyes yet but you can hear people speaking around you. “the subject displayed violent and aggressive behaviour but was restrained after hurting herself”, someone says. “i don’t think the subject is ready to be released yet. the subject is not ready to be re-integrated into civilian life again and could be a flight risk”, someone pitches in.

subject—like you weren’t human at all.

“the subject’s laceration on the wrist healed abnormally quick and has almost left no scarring, just a faint mark”, someone says, fascination in their tone. “and subject’s body temperature also regulates faster but it’s lower too”, one of the other doctors says, studying your scans from the file in his hand. “that might explain why the subject feels cold”, someone adds and collective hums are heard in the room. you swallow and keep your eyes closed, still listening. “keep her under observation for a few more weeks, run more tests and screenings, find out what we can and how she’s healing so fast”, someone says, probably the senior doctor from earlier because he sounds the same. 

you hear the shuffle of feet as they wall walk out and you hear the door close and the lock click in place. silence engulfs you, expect for the beeping of the monitors behind you. you slowly flutter your eyes open, blinking as you adjust to the brightness of the room. you try to move your hand but you can’t because it’s been cuffed to the bed. your other wrist is cuffed too, right over the bandage that covers the cut on your wrist and you let out a shaky exhale, trying again but it’s no use. 

tears prickle at the corners of your eyes again and they slide down your face quietly. you just want to go home. you don’t know how long you lay there, alone, restrained. it’s quiet and you close your eyes. you recall whatever you’d just heard: the way your cut healed too quickly to be normal, the way your body temperature is lower now. your body has changed and they were studying it. that’s why you were being held here. suddenly, everything starts to make sense. the way they brought you here, the way they keep you locked and confined in this room, the countless machines your hooked up to, the endless blood tests and screenings, you weren’t brought here to recover and heal, you were brought here to be studied because you’d survived and come back changed and they need to know what you were now. 

you don’t know how long passes and you must’ve dozen off too. you wake up when you hear someone next to you and feel something slipping off your wrist. you open your eyes and the elderly nurse—the kind one looks down at you with a small smile, like she was trying not to scare you. “it’s okay, you’re okay”, she reassures sensing your apprehension. you finally move your hand and manage to sit up. you roll your other wrist lightly because it’s a little sore from being held so tight. “are you okay?”, the elderly nurse asks and you only stare at her because that’s the first time someone’s asked you that since you came her. you shake your head because you were not okay. she slowly reaches out for your hand and gives it a small squeeze. “you’ll be out of here don’t worry”, she tries to reassure but it doesn’t really ease you. 

that night, you decide that it’s useless to try and fight back and instead you just comply and listen to everything they say because what was the point? they’d only keep you here longer and you didn’t want that. so you decide to just listen to everything and keep them happy because there was no point in fighting back. you agree to every test they demand and you just nod like an empty shell. you wake up the next morning, tired and you sit up slowly. you know that they know you’re awake because two minutes later someone steps in, one of the doctors and tells you not to eat because you have to do a test. you were aware that you were being monitored and watched 24/7 because of the camera’s in your room. you nod lightly and look down at the floor. 

a few hours later a nurse comes into the room, the younger nurse and tells you to follow her to the testing room. the corridor is quiet expect for the sound of the heavy boots of the patrol guards as they walk up and down the corridors. you’re aware of the cameras outside, tracking your movement. you’re guided into a smaller examination room and it’s colder inside. a small shiver runs down your spine as you stand in the centre of the room. the nurse points towards the bed, gesturing for you to lie down. you look at the small narrow bed and it’s surrounded by monitors and other equipment. next to the bed is a metal cart that’s neatly arranged with syringes, adhesive caps and a fitted mesh cap that’s threaded with dozens pf fine wires that are all hooked up to the monitors at the head of the bed. you step forward cautiously because you recognise the equipment and you know exactly what they’re doing—a brain mapping scan—neural monitoring. 

“what are you doing”, you ask as you sit on the edge of the bed and then slowly lean back, lying down. tension sits between your shoulders as you stare up at the plain white ceiling. a technician moves behind you and comes in front you you. they part your hair and a cool gel is spread on your forehead. you close your eyes at the contact of the cold gel and feel the mesh cap being lowered and adjusted over your head. you can feel the wires and the electrodes that press against the precise measuring points along your skull—the frontal cortex, the temporal regions, the base of your next and some more points. they’re all EEG leads to map and track your brain activity but there’s too many, more than usually used.

beside you a screen flicks to life as your brain activity syncs with the monitors and displays the visuals on the screen above. you see a nurse preparing an IV line and your stomach churns for some reason. you hated being put under. she seems to sense your discomfort. “it’s standard procedure, you should know that”, the nurse says flatly. of course you knew that but still, you hated it. the nurse lifts your hand and finds a vein, inserting the IV line into the vein. it hurts for a moment and you wince lightly. you watch as she adjusts the IV line and the anaesthesia medication enters your blood stream slowly. you brace yourself and start counting back from ten. your eyelids should start growing heavy and your head should start feeling fuzzy. you wait for five seconds but you feel nothing. you blink and then close your eyes, counting back again. you blink open your eyes again, completely unaffected. weird. 

the nurse looks confused and glances over at the technician. the technician mumbles something you can’t understand and you watch as she prepares a second dosage of the anaesthesia. you feel the needle poke you again and then you count down again but you’re brain is still alert and active. you don’t feel sleepy and your head doesn’t feel fuzzy. your breathing is steady and stable and you blink up at the ceiling, glancing at the nurse. silence settles over the room. “her EEG levels are normal, no indication of suppression”, the technician says. “that’s impossible”, the doctor says, stepping forward. the doctor orders for another dose to be administered and you feel the slight twinge as it’s pushed into your vein again. you stare at the ceiling again, awake because your consciousness refuses to slip into a state of sleep—your body was immune to the sedation. 

“her body is resisting the medication”, the technician says. “no, she’s immune to it”, the doctor corrects, looking at you with a sort of fascination behind in eyes. your fingers curl tightly against the sheets of the bed. suddenly everything feels too much. the cap is too tight, your arm hurts and you don’t want to be poked at anymore. “but how come it worked earlier when she was first brought in?”, the technician questions. “that might be because her body was exhausted, but now her body’s had time to adjust and adapt to what happened to her”, the doctor says, making a hypothesis.

“document full consciousness during sedation attempt”, the doctor interacts and the technician nods, typing something out on the monitor next to him. 

the doctor looks at you and then looks at the nurse, telling her something that you don’t quite catch. the monitors above you are still running and the data from your brain is still being mapped is being recorded. the nurse walks back into the examination rooms carrying  a handful of small bottles—are drugs and painkillers.

“administer one dosage of propofol”, the doctor instructs immediately, wasting no time. you turn your head to try and protest but the electrodes dig into your skull and your wince. you watch as the nurse connects the new syringe to the port and she pushes the new drug into your system. it hurts a little and you blink, preparing for the light fuzzy feeling but nothing comes. the doctor furrows his brows, unconvinced. “administer another dose”, the doctor says and the nurse listens. you simply stay quiet and let them because at least that way it would be over faster. the nurse pushes in another dose of the painkiller into the IV line and into it flows into your system. you turn your head slightly because of the dull ache now forming on your wrist from the repeated access. you’re still wide and painfully aware of everything happening. 

“interesting, you don’t seem to have any reaction. it’s like your body is neutralising the drugs”, the doctor says, fascination in his tone. “she’s maintaining awareness and the pain levels are unchanged”, the technician says as he observes the monitor like he’s witnessing something unbelievable. the doctor’s gaze never leaves you as he speaks again. “administer one dosage of morphine”, he says and you turn your head, the electrodes digging into your skull again. “what—no”, you say but no one listens. the nurse administers one dosage of morphine and pushes it into the IV line. it stings as it enters your system and your fingers grip the edge of the bed. you think this is where it ends but you don’t feel anything. you should be feeling dizzy and passing out now by now but nothing happens. your heart beat is stable and steady and you’re wide awake like they didn’t just inject morphine into your system because your mind and body refuses to dim. 

“again and up the dosage”, the doctor says again like this wasn’t dangerous at all and normal and the nurse hesitates for a moment before complying. she draws out a new syringe and administers a higher dose of morphine into your system. your try to pull your hand away but the needle inside your wrist hurts. this was cruelty now. you knew what morphine does but a double dosage would most likely kill you. the nurse pushes it through the IV line anyway despite your weak protests and you lay there, your chest rising and falling. no effect whatsoever. 

“no affect, her heart rate is steady and her brain activity is stable, no sign of chemical suppression or effect of the drugs”, the technician says, looking at the monitor and glancing at you. the doctor looks at the nurse. “administer one dose of fentanyl”, he says and the nurses pauses for a moment. “doctor, are you sure?”, she asks and he nods. “yes, do it now”, the doctor demands. “stop it, please, my arm hurts”, you try to plead but no one listens to you. “you’ve proved your point so please stop”, you try again, trying to pull your arm awake and dislodge the IV line from your wrist.

the nurse catches your hand and presses onto your wrist. it’s throbbing now and she adjusts the IV line and pushes in one dose of fentanyl. it stings as it’s pushed through and you feel a sting of warmth as it enters your blood stream. you really think you might die now. you close your eyes for a moment because you head is hurting, the electrodes are digging deeper into your skull now and you don’t like it. the gel is too cold and your arm is throbbing. you think this might finally be it and wait for the dizziness and fuzziness to kick in but again nothing. 

“this is incredible”, the doctor mumbles. the technician types rapidly on the monitor next to him, taking notes. tears fill your eyes, warm and wet. 

this time the doctor doesn’t even look at the nurse as he speaks, “one dosage of ketamine now”, he instructs and the nurse complies. your stomach drops at the mention of ketamine. it’s a hallucinatory drug and extremely lethal when overdosed. you’ve administered it yourself before back in med school but always controlled, measured and under strictly monitored conditions because it’s not something you can administer so casually. the nurse pushes in a dosage of ketamine and your blink back your tears. you wait for a moment, wait for your thoughts to drift and your mind to shut down, but you’re still wide awake, alive and breathing, like they didn’t just inject you with four different types of painkillers and drugs in unethical and lethal dosages in the span of twenty minutes. 

“she’s completely resistant and immune”, the technician says by the machines says, in awe. “again, another dose”, the doctor instructs and the nurse follows. you realise that each time you fail t fall under the drugs administered, it only excited them more because they weren’t testing the medication anymore, they were testing your limits now. your vein hurts from the repeated use and the skin around it is raw. they inject you with few more drugs and higher dosages are should be lethal and should have killed you instantly in normal circumstances—but here you are, alive and breathing, completely unaffected. 

three hours pass as they monitor you, poke and prod you and your head throbs harder now, your arm hurts, numb almost. “please”, you whisper softly but no one cares. to them you’re just data now. you’re something to study. you’re not human in their eyes. “do you understand what this means”, the technician speaks again as he studies the data gathered. “she can’t be chemically controlled”, the doctor concludes. controlled. the word makes you sick in the stomach.  “that’s why the medication hasn’t been working on her, it hasn’t been surpassing her”, the doctor says. 

when they’re finally done, the nurse pulls out the IV line and you wince because your wrist is sore. you sit up and glare at her but she doesn’t look at you. you remove the mesh cap from your head and grab a cloth from the metal tray, wiping the gel from your forehead and hair. the nurse then simple guides you out the door and back to your room. your walk slowly, your head still throbbing, your wrist aching. you step inside and the lock clicks shut behind you and you’re alone again. you want to go home. they didn’t care about you at all, no one here did. to them you were just someone that survived something and now they needed to know how, what and why. they didn’t care if they hurt you or pushed your limits. they just wanted answers and it was cruel, inhumane and evil. you cry yourself to sleep that night. 

it’s been three weeks now. wonwoo can’t sleep because every time he closes his eyes all he can think about is you. it’s been three weeks now and he doesn’t know what’s going on. he doesn’t know if you’re well, if you’re okay and if you’re alive. the last thought makes him curse under his breathe. back at the bureau, everyone whispers about you, saying you got taken and you came back different and that something might be wrong with you. he hears it all and he hates it. he sees the way people stop talking when he walks by or the looks of pity they give him because of what happened to you because you were his partner.

when wonwoo gets back home, he opens the door to his apartment and he walks in, his shoulders heavy. his mind wanders to you yet again and he lets out helpless sigh. how he hated the fact that he couldn’t do anything for you right now. wonwoo trudges towards his room, shrugging off his blazer jacket and tugging off his tie, throwing them on the bed. his fingers undo the bottoms of his shirt with practiced fingers and he steps into the bathroom to wash the night away. the hot water hits his body and all the tension seems to melt away, even if it was just for a few minutes. 

wonwoo changes into something comfortable, a loose oversized shirt and grey sweatpants. he roughly dries his hair with the towel and lets it fall over his face, still damp and  puts his glasses back on and then walks out of the bedroom towards the couch. he sits down and glances at the notebook that’s left open from last night. during these past three weeks, all he’s been doing is studying the cases and trying to figure out how they were linked and what the truth was behind them. he was so close, he could feel it but he was just missing something. 

wonwoo hears a sound and looks up. his eyes sharpen and he notices the shadow that lingers outside his door through the tiny gap in the bottom. wonwoo slowly stands up and there’s a firm knock on the door. “who is it?”, wonwoo asks, unmoving. there’s a shuffle of feet and something slides underneath his door. wonwoo furrows his brows, walking ahead and opening the door, expecting to catch whoever was there but there’s no one. he quickly walks ahead towards the staircase but it’s empty too. whoever it was come and gone quick. his jaw tightens and he walks back inside. he looks down at the floor to whatever had been slid underneath his door—a file. he bends down and picks it up carefully and closes the door shut, locking it behind him.

the file is dark brown, different to standard FBI files. he sinks down onto the couch again and stares at the file in his hands, unsure because it was a pretty thick file. a few seconds later he opens it and a sticky note greets him with three words—you know who. the mystery man.

wonwoo’s fingers work to open the file and a whole bunch of documents greet him, all highly classified, but the part that gets wonwoo’s attention was the fact that none of this was redacted, which could only mean that whoever had access to this was permitted to view this and somehow now this was in wonwoo’s hand, which meant that they wanted wonwoo to read it. who ever the mystery man was someone in a place of a lot of power and for some reason, he was helping wonwoo, even now.

wonwoo turns to the first page and the first thing his eyes land on is your name. he tenses and his eyes continue to scan the document. there’s a small photograph of you attached next to the file and his eyes linger on the photo of you. the background is white and bright and your expression is tired and neutral and he swallows. his eyes carefully scan the document in his hands reading and trying to understand the contents. 

wonwoo reads the file and his chest tightens as his fingers move to flip the pages. that’s why they wouldn’t let him see you, not because you were injured but because they thought you were unstable and they didn’t know what to do. he grips the file harder because these aren’t just ordinary notes, they’re observation logs over a period of time. they were studying you like some sort of specimen, like you weren’t human anymore. they weren’t trying to help you, but they were testing and measuring how well you handled what happened to you and how changed when you came back.

wonwoo reads the medical report again and the names of the drugs that they tested on your makes him sick. his jaw tightens—you can’t feel relief anymore. painkillers and drugs have no affect on you and that meant if you ever needed surgery or an emergency procedure, your body won’t go under and that meant you’d stay awake and you’ll have to feel everything. wonwoo’s heart sinks at that realisation. “oh my fucking god”, wonwoo says softly under his breath. “fuck”, he repeats again because he just couldn’t digest what he’d just read and he couldn’t accept what that meant. and then another realisation sinks it. it’s wasn’t just the painkillers, it was the fact that you couldn’t numb anything out anymore and that you’d have to feel everything, fully, all the time.

and it’s the last line on the file that makes him sick in the stomach—do not disclose  containment findings to subject. 

that meant you didn’t even know what was happening or why. they just kept you isolated, restrained you and monitored you all solely for their sick benefit. the worst part was that wonwoo couldn’t do anything about it without risking your safety. wonwoo should be fighting to find you, break into whatever facility that they are hiding you at and he should burn the place down and bring you out. but instead, he’s sitting alone in his apartment reading from a file that someone decided he was finally allowed to see and that unsettles him more.

this was a deliberate decision because wonwoo has no power or jurisdiction here. he has no leverage and even if he has all this proof right now, no court would dare touch what he’s holding in his hands. wonwoo knows that even if he tries to go public with this that they’ll just label him as a compromise and just bury him and everything else, discredit him or worse. yet, if he even attempts to do anything, you’ll stay in their hands and given the situation they’ve won…for now. this is what power looks like—cruel, evil, ugly and unfair. 

wonwoo wonders if you’re waiting for him to come and the guilt hits him harder now. he was supposed to protect you and he failed. wonwoo closes the file and slides it to the back, bringing up a new file to the front. this file was thicker and a little heavier compared to your medical reports. he braces himself for whatever might be inside and he flips it open to read.

what the fuck. wonwoo can’t believe what he’s just read. this was even more sinister than he thought or could have ever imagined and now everything is starting to make sense. those three cases that wonwoo had investigated with you were all somehow linked to this program anomaly.

project icarus—they were testing experimental aircrafts using alien technology and systems to build faster, better and almost indestructible aircrafts. 

project lazarus—they were testing human consciousness transfer so that in unavoidable circumstances and in case a soldier dies on duty, they could transfer his consciousness into another viable human body so it was like he never died in the first place. wonwoo tenses and realises that this wouldn’t just benefit soldiers. it would benefit politicians, government bodies, rich and influential people and they would all benefit and use this for their own gain. it’s like they’d unlock the fountain of youth and it was like they’d almost gain immortality this way. fucking hell.

project chimera—they were testing the integrating of alien DNA, which was what dr.shin had been doing and had somehow been too successful, which turned out to be too dangerous for the time being as the mystery man had explained earlier. that’s why they killed him.

colonel nam had been a test pilot subject for those experimental aircrafts, just like wonwoo had suspected, but his body couldn’t take the toll and deteriorated. agent jaehyun was used as a test subject for the human consciousness transfer and then third case of him finding the alien DNA in dr.shin’s lab—the case that made him lose you in the first place. the most terrifying part isn’t what they’re doing, but what they’re building and what they aim to do with it. warfare—that’s what they wanted to use all this for. they wanted to weaponise it—all of it.

and you? you were proof that the human body could adapt and absorb something it was never meant to touch. they were measuring and testing you to see how well you survived whatever happened and because you were something they didn’t count for. you survived something you shouldn’t have. instead of deteriorating like what they observed with the test pilots, agent jaehyun and what dr.shin was doing, you adapted and were nearly almost stable and alive. they valued you and you became almost like a new guinea pig for them. you were just data to be studied. they didn’t care about you—they cared about how you survived and why.

wonwoo leans back against the couch and stares up at the ceiling, closing his eyes for a moment. he needed a minute to gather himself after what he’s just read, uncovered and finally understood the extent of. 

you don’t know how long it’s been. maybe three weeks? maybe four? you’ve lost track of time now because they didn’t offer you any sense of time ever since they kept you here. you still don’t know why you were here or what they were doing. you only know that it’s easier to say yes instead of fighting anymore because you’re exhausted. you feel cold more often even though there’s no air conditioning in your room and you remember the season being sunny when you were still outside before. you’re wounds seem to heal rather quickly—abnormal you think. the other day you knocked your finger on the edge of the tray and you got a cut, but by evening it was healing and almost left no scar. last week when an alarm went off in the building you crouched down on the floor and covered your ears and squeezed your eyes shut because you couldn’t take the sound. it was too high pitched and it rang in your ears. you’re hyper aware for no reason and you hear things more clearly, feel things more deeply and your body reacts before your mind can catch up.

during the second week you realised that you were almost immune to the sedation they tried to give you for a test, but it didn’t knock you out like it should have. instead you were wide awake, alert and aware like they hadn’t injected anything into you. you could see the visible confusion but also fascination on the doctor’s faces at this. you hated it. but the worst part are the nightmares. you couldn’t sleep properly because when you close your eyes you go back there. you panic and wake up shaking and cold and sometimes you feel like you can’t breathe anymore.

they’ve asked you countless times about what happened when you disappeared—where you went, who took you, what happened and what did they do. you don’t answer them, instead you lie and you say you that don’t remember what happened because it was easier that way and that was the only thing you could control right now. you didn’t want to re-live it. you remember what happened clearly though. you remember being taken from your apartment, you remember waking up and seeing white light, you remember feeling like you were suspended in the air, you remember a presence near you, you remember something communicating with you through your thoughts and you remember the goosebumps that formed on your skin.

you remember everything but you don’t want to so you shut it out. every time they try and ask you about it, you just say you don’t remember and go back to staring at the wall in front of your bed. you stopped asking to see wonwoo because they told you he didn’t want to see you. it hurt at first but in a way you’re glad now because you don’t want him to see you like this—you don’t even know who or what you are anymore. 

wonwoo’s told he can see you after almost four and a half weeks. he finds out through a letter slipped though his door that he finds when he comes back home after work at the bureau. inside it is a small note, a clearance badge and an address. you can visit her now. she’ll be released in a few days. that’s what the note said and wonwoo knew exactly who sent it. the next morning, wonwoo doesn’t head to the bureau, but instead he heads to the address on the piece of paper—to you. 

when you wake up that morning, pushing around the food in your tray, the elderly nurse comes in again. she was the only person who was kind to you. she didn’t treat you badly or like some sort of test subject, but she treated you like a human. she looks at you for a moment before speaking. “you’ll be released soon”, she says and you look up. released. you blink at her. “really?”, you ask and she nods. “yes, and you’ll be getting a visitor today”, she adds. “i thought visitor’s weren’t allowed”, you say. “they said it’s okay now, since you’re being released anyway”, she explains. you nod. you don’t ask who’s visiting but deep down you know who.

wonwoo pulls up his car to the gate of the building. it’s a tall building but void of any color or unnecessary decoration. it’s plain and built for practicality and to not draw attention on itself—but it doesn’t really work when there’s armed guards patrolling the area and security cameras everywhere. wonwoo stops at the gate and shows the security guard the clearance badge he’d gotten. he security guard looks at it, then looks at wonwoo and presses the button to open the gate. wonwoo drives inside and parks the car. he turns off the engine and sits in the car for a minute, unsure. what was he going to say to you? should he explain why he couldn’t visit? would you be upset at him for it? all these questions swirl in his mind and he lets out a breathe. he opens the car door and steps outside.

wonwoo walks into the building and ridiculously it’s high security, guards patrolling the hallways and outside the building. there’s an eerie, almost unsettling air about the place. “i’m here to see Y/N L/N”, wonwoo says to the person at the desk. he shows them his clearance badge. they look at wonwoo for a moment and then at the clearance badge in his hand and nod. “she’ll be discharged in two days and you can visit her now, 6th floor, recovery unit”, the person informs and signals for one of the guards to accompany wonwoo. wonwoo simply nods and lets the armed guard guide him. he takes the elevator up. the doors open he’s greeted by a long hallway bathed in bright white light. it feels too clinical. the guard says something to an elderly nurse passing by and then goes back to stand by the elevator. the elderly nurse looks at wonwoo and walks towards him.

“what’s your name young man”, the elderly nurse asks wonwoo and he straightens. “jeon wonwoo”, he says and flicker of recognition flits over the elderly nurses face. “oh, so you’re the guy”, the elderly nurse states and wonwoo only blinks at her, confused. “you’re the guy ms. Y/N kept asking for, but when you never came she stopped asking about you”, the elderly nurse says. wonwoo’s heart nearly stops at the mention of your name. “ms. Y/N sometimes used to say your name in her sleep”, the nurse adds. wonwoo’s heart tugs at that piece of information. you had asked for him but they lied to you saying he didn’t want to visit. fuck. he hopes you’ll forgive him because he’d walk to the ends of the earth for you and more. 

“come, follow me, i’ll take you to ms. Y/N”, the elderly nurse says, walking ahead and wonwoo follows behind her. the elderly nurse stops just at the end of the hallway in front of a door. wonwoo’s eyes sharpen at the way she unlocks it from the outside. they held you captive practically he realises. “wait here”, she says and enters. 

“he’s here to see you”, the elderly nurse says to you. you glance at her from where you’re sitting on the bed. him. wonwoo. you gulp and she walks back out.the elderly nurse appears outside again and gestures for wonwoo to enter. wonwoo braces himself for a second before stepping forward and pulling the door open.

when wonwoo enters the room, you don’t look at him. you keep your head down because you don’t know what to say. you can’t bring yourself to look at him. the door closes behind him and wonwoo slowly steps forward and you can sense the way he hesitates, hyper aware of him and the space he was taking up in the room right now. “can i come in”, he asks, his voice low and familiar. you nod lightly, still not looking at him. wonwoo slowly moves forward and takes a seat on the edge of the bed in front of you. you notice the way his hand rests on the bed, taking support and your eyes focus on his hands instead of his face. you still can’t bring yourself to look up at him. your hand is right there too, resting on the bed beside you. you fingers stretch out slowly and you almost try to reach out for his hand before you pull your fingers back and clench them into a weak fist. wonwoo notices it and he wants to reach out and take your hand in his, but he doesn’t. he doesn’t know if you’d want that.

“hey”, he says and you can feel the way his gaze is on you—heavy. you finally lift your head up and pick your eyes up, looking at him. “hey”, you say softly. he looks just the way you’d left him—glasses sitting on his face, but his hair is a little longer and messier than usual, his eyes more tired and his tie still a little loose, a habit he had when he was stressed. he looks at you like you’re the only thing that matters to him right now. you can feel it—the weight of his gaze on you and the unsaid words between you both as he looks at you. “i’m sorry i couldn’t come earlier, they wouldn’t let me see you”, wonwoo says, his eyes never leaving yours. “it’s fine”, you say weakly, tearing your gaze away because it was too overwhelming now. 

he clenches his jaw as he takes you in—you look different. you looked a little pale, weak, your hair was a little longer now. you were wearing a thick sweater because you were probably feeling cold. wonwoo notices the way your eyes are tired and the exhaustion in your body as you hold yourself up. he notices the way your fingers lightly tremble in your lap and the way you look around the room like you’re hyper aware of something that he’s not aware of, like your brain is on alert without you even realising it. all those were the affects of the event that happened to you. he wonders if you know it too or it’s just been labeled it as trauma to you. he wonders how much you know or if you even know anything at all because from what he’d learned earlier, you weren’t supposed to learn the full truth about what happened to you and your body. 

“they said you’ll be discharged in two days”, wonwoo speaks again after a minute of silence. you don’t look at him this time. “yeah”, you say, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap. all wonwoo wanted to do right now was to pull you into him his arms and embrace you in a hug, but he holds himself back because he isn’t sure if you’d still want that now. he doesn’t want to scare you, so he decides to tread carefully. the room is quiet for almost a minute with neither of you speaking. you slowly sneak a glance at him and you see the exhaustion on his eyes  from the sleepless nights, the glasses still stupidly pretty on his face. your heart tugs. you want to move closer, do something, maybe hold his hand but you don’t. they’re watching and you don’t want him to be dragged into whatever you were now. someone knocks on the door from outside and one of the patrol guards opens the door, stepping halfway in. “visiting time’s up”, he says to wonwoo and there’s no kindness in his tone. wonwoo looks at you, his eyes studying you. “i’ll see you when you’re discharged”, he says and you nod. “okay”. 

two days later you’re finally released. they keep saying you’re discharged like it would change the way they kept you and studied you instead of letting you actually heal and recover. you’re given the same pair of clothes that you wore when you first reappeared and took you. it’s clean now, washed and kept. it’s little stiff and smells like chemicals. you change into it without saying anything and then you’re escorted outside the building. the corridors are endless almost and everything is white and pristine and clinical. there are armed guards on every floor and that unnerves you more. 

when you go down the elevator, another armed guard joins you with one of persons incharge. the elevator door hums open and the ground floor is full of life, filled with people in white coats walking around, holding coffees and talking. you glance outside through the glass panels and you see the sunshine bathing the road outside. that’s when it hits you—you still didn’t know how long you’d spent here. no one bothered to tell you. you slowly walk ahead and you can feel people’s head’s turning to look at you and the way their voices become hushed when you walk past them. “that’s her isn’t it”. “she’s the one who got abducted and came back”, someone else says. “weren’t they keeping her here to test her”, someone else replies. you try to ignore it and walk ahead, stopping short of the tall, heavy glass door. 

“that’s the door, someone should be there to pick you up”, the guy says, unbothered and already reaching for his phone. you just walk ahead, towards the door and push it open weakly. you squint your eyes as the sunlight greets you, bright and warm. you haven’t seen the sun in weeks. you stand there for a moment, letting the sun’s warmth seep into your tired body and bones. the air outside smells different. “yn”, you hear someone call your name from a distance. your turn around, wondering who it could be when you see him—wonwoo. you freeze in place as he walks forward, taking long strides to reach you sooner. “hey”, he says again when he’s closer, stopping short when he’s in front of you. you blink at him. “hey”, you say, the words coming out softer then intended. 

“what are you doing here?”, you ask and he looks at you. “i’m here to pick you up”, he says, like it was the most obvious thing ever. “they were going to drop you, but i thought you’d feel more comfortable if i came”, he says and you blink up at him. you don’t say anything and he gestures towards the car and you follow him. he opens the car door for you and you sit. wonwoo settles down in the driver’s seat. when wonwoo starts the car, the display screen lights up and your eyes hover on the screen. your eyes lock into one thing—the date displayed—february 23rd, 2026. you gulp and your fingers start to fidget on your lap. he notices immediately. you don’t remember the date you disappeared or came back. 

“how long was i here for?”, you ask wonwoo but you don’t look at him. wonwoo’s grip tightens on the steering wheel ever so slightly. “six weeks”, wonwoo answers carefully, glancing over at you. six weeks. it didn’t feel like six weeks to you, it felt like more. you don’t talk for the rest of the car ride and wonwoo doesn’t either, but he’s constantly checking on you through the mirror and glancing at you occasionally. a while later you start to feel cold and you shift in your seat, rubbing your hands together. wonwoo quietly reaches over and adjusts the air conditioning, lowering it away from you without a word and adjusting the temperature. wonwoo doesn’t ask questions. he doesn’t ask about happened at the facility or what they did. he just drives you home. you watch as the city comes back into view. cars on the road, trees, people outside, the sun shining. it’s like your life was being resumed again. after a short while, wonwoo pulls up in front of your apartment and he parks the car at the parking spot. “you’re home”, he says as he turns off the engine, looking over at you.

home. that word feels unfamiliar now. your hands reach for the door handle and you hesitate for a moment. you turn your head to look at wonwoo. “thanks for picking me up”, you finally say. he looks at you and gives you a small nod. there’s another pause and more silence. you see the way his jaw tightens lightly, like he wants to say something else but he’s holding himself back. you open the car door fully and step out and so does wonwoo. he walks ahead, standing in front of your apartment complex. “i’ll walk you up”, he offers and you don’t have the strength to say no so you let him. you walk up the stairs slowly because the elevator was under maintenance—it always was. wonwoo quietly follows behind you, making sure your steps were steady. when you reach your door, wonwoo stands there. you turn around and look at him. you can see the worry in his eyes and something else—something you both haven’t acknowledged yet and you look away. 

“thanks”, your murmur again. “if anything feels off, call me, text me, anything”, wonwoo says and you glance at him again before looking away. “i will”, you say. you unlock your door with the spare key you keep outside under the pot and step inside, giving wonwoo one last look before you close the door shut. inside your apartment the silence is ten times louder. your apartment still smells the same, but the air is a little stale now. your apartment is a little cleaner now, like someone took the time to make sure it was kept neatly—probably wonwoo after you’d been abducted and the infestation at your house was over, he’d made sure your apartment was clean for you when you came back. outside, wonwoo lingers by your door for another minute, just to make sure you’re really okay. he didn’t stay because you didn’t ask him to and he doesn’t want to overstep. he’s willing to give you that space if you wanted it. wonwoo hopes that you’d find your way back to him and most importantly, after all this you’d slowly find yourself again. 

you stare at the dining table and the memory hits you hard. goosebumps rise on your skin and you freeze in place. you shake your head, tossing the thought away because you don’t want to re-live it. you take a step forward and then pause, unsure. suddenly everything feels unfamiliar. you set your bag down on the table and suddenly you’re hyper aware again. you look around the room—no cameras, no locks on doors, no footsteps in the hallway, no distant humming sound. none of that followed you back, but you’re still tense and your hearting is beating too fast. you check the windows again, latch them properly, check the bathroom and check the corners for any tapping devices that might be hidden. you find nothing and that’s when the tension in your shoulders melts away a little.

you take a quick shower, washing off the remnants of the facility and then finally sit down on the bed—your bed. you sink into the softness of your bed immediately. you lie down and your body aches with exhaustion but sleep doesn’t come. you’re too aware and every small sound keeps you awake—the neighbours footsteps upstairs, the sounds outside, honks of cars passing by, someone playing their tv too loud. you hate that you’re so tuned into that and that you don’t know how to tune it out. you turn around, adjusting the blanket around you as you pull it closer against you, your fingers curling around the edge of the blanket. you start to feel cold again and you try to huddle under the sheets. eventually, you fall asleep, but it doesn’t last for long before a nightmare jolts you awake. 

you’re back in the room and the walls are too white and the lights are too bright. there’s that hum that echos in your ears and it’s unnerving and unsettling. you can’t move and you open your mouth to speak but no words follow. your chest tightens and you feel the sting of a needle in your arm. you feel helpless and you try to scream, to try and move but they hold you down and restrain you. 

you jolt awake, gasping to catch your breath. your chest rises and falls rapidly and you’re sure your heart is beating way to fast because you can hear the way it thuds against your chest too fast and too loud and that’s not normal at all. you sit upright and your hands are shaking as you throw the blanket off you. your breathing is too shallow and you try to take a deep breath to calm down but it’s not working. “i’m safe, it’s not real”, you whisper to yourself, but your body doesn’t believe it. the room feels wrong now and panic sets in again. you can feel the familiar hum again in your ears and it’s louder now and your ears start to ring. you slap your palms over your ears to stop the ringing but it only gets worse. 

“stop please”, you say out loud, your breathe coming out in short panicked gasps. you look up and the walls start to feel like they’re closing in on you. you swing your legs off the bed and walk towards the kitchen. you grab a glass and try to pour some water but your hand shakes so bad that the glass slips from your grasp, shattering on the floor. you flinch at the sound because it’s too loud for you. the hum gets louder and it hurts your ears now. you take a step back and your eyes dart around your apartment. your knees give in and you sink down onto the floor, wrapping your arms around yourself as you try to calm down, but it’s not working. tears prickle at the corners of your eyes and they fall down. you sit there for a while until your breathing evens out and the memory starts to fade away so it doesn’t feel real anymore. you don’t sleep again but instead you just sit there on the floor until the sun comes up. your mind wanders to wonwoo. maybe you should call him, but you don’t. 

the first week back, wonwoo texts you every once in a while. it’s small things like if you’ve eaten, if you’re okay, if you need anything and just check ups. you reply at first saying you’re okay and eating well but those are all lies. you don’t want him to worry and come over and you don’t want him to see the person you’ve become. but after week two, you stop replying to his texts. the notifications on your phone are stacked up, all unread and his calls go missed. you don’t have the energy to pretend anymore, so you don’t respond. wonwoo is worried when you stop responding. his first thought is that something might have happened to you. he drives to your apartment that day and watches from outside. there’s light in your apartment and he can see your shadow though the window that was left uncovered—you’re still here. he tries to call you again but you still don’t respond he sighs. he doesn’t press further and he decides to give you that space. 

it’s been nearly three weeks now and you haven’t stepped out of your apartment. you haven’t responded to wonwoo or any of your friends or people at the bureau who checked up on you. you’ve barely eaten because you’ve lost your appetite. you just munch on something every now. you’ve barely slept because you can’t seem to sleep and the dark circles under your eyes are getting worse. you look exhausted, pale, and thin. you look like shit. you’re wearing a sweater even though it’s bright and sunny outside because your body doesn’t know what normal is anymore. your hands tremble at any activity that requires lifting or strength because you don’t have any left. you don’t know what to do with yourself and you don’t want anyone to see you like this, especially wonwoo, because sometimes you don’t even recognise yourself anymore. you don’t want him to see the mess you’ve become.

it’s been three weeks of radio silence from your end. at first, when you didn’t respond to his texts, he tried not to make it a big deal. you were probably tired, resting and maybe you wanted space and he was willing to give it to you. but after two weeks, that’s when he starts getting really worried. were you okay? were you sleeping? were you eating well? were you in pain? were you finding it hard to adjust back after what happened? all these questions plagued wonwoo’s mind and it bothers him more when you stopped responding. he thought you’d respond later but you never did and a sense of dread starts to set within him. what if something happened to you?

wonwoo finally decides to check in on you and he drives to your apartment again and this time he knocks on your door. a small plastic bag with something warm and easy to eat rustles in his hand as he waits. you hear the knock on your door, soft and steady. you’re lying down on the couch because being in the bedroom is sometimes claustrophobic now. it’s still dark in your apartment because you didn’t turn on the lights, just a small lamp that illuminates the room. you didn’t draw open the curtains either because then it was too bright and you didn’t like that either. you ignore the knock on your door thinking it’s just someone else but then the knock comes again. “Y/N?”, a voice calls out. you recognise the voice immediately—wonwoo. what was he doing here. you almost ignore it again. maybe he’ll think you’re asleep and leave. he knocks again, like he’s not giving up.

you slowly stand up from the couch, pushing the blanket off you and standing on your feet.   you’re dizzy for a moment but you steady yourself. your body feels wrong, hollow and heavy at the same time. you slowly walk towards the door and your hand reaches out for the lock. you hesitate for a moment before you unlock it a second later and pull the door open slowly, peeking through the gap.

wonwoo’s eyes light up a little when he sees your face peeking through the gap. you look exhausted. you’re eyes are a little sunken in, your hair is loose, falling onto your shoulders,  you look pale, thinner than when he last saw you and you’re wearing a thin long sleeved sweater and socks on your feet. “hey”, he say softly, his eyes drifting inside your apartment, noticing the dim light and that the curtains were still drawn. you blink up at him, answering slowly. “hi”, you say. “i just thought i’d drop by and check in on you…are you okay?”, he asks. a beat passes and you nod, even though it’s not true. “i bought you some food”, he says, lifting up the plastic bag to show you and it rustles in his hand. you look at it and then look at him. you step back a bit and open the door wider, letting wonwoo enter your apartment. wonwoo walks inside and he notices everything—the way there are a few untouched dishes in the sink, the curtains draw, a blanket on the couch, an untouched glass of water on the table. he walks towards the kitchen and sets down the plastic bag of food on the counter. “have you eaten yet?”, he asks, as he pulls out the box of food from the bag. you’re back on the couch now, sitting because standing for too long makes you tired. “i’m not really hungry”, you say softly from the couch. wonwoo opens the container anyway and grabs a spoon, bringing it over to you carefully. “i thought you might like this, it’ll help you feel better”, he says as he walks over to you. 

you look at him as he offers it to you. you’re not really hungry but you take it from him anyway because right now refusing feels harder than agreeing. your fingers brush against his for a moment as you take the spoon from his hand and it sends something through you—that feeling again, the one neither of you acknowledged yet.

you take a small bite and he looks at you, a little relieved. wonwoo doesn’t watch you, doesn’t want to pressure you so he moves around your apartment quietly. he rinses the dishes in the sink, drying them and stacking them neatly on the rack. he pulls the curtains open ever so slightly, just to let a little light and air inside. he sees the way you move away from the light and he almost closes it again but he doesn’t. you had to get used to this again. you take another small bite of the food he bought you and after that you can’t eat anymore and you set it down on the table and wonwoo notices.

wonwoo keeps tidying, he dusts the books on the table and stacks them neatly. he opens your fridge and sees that it’s nearly empty, making a mental note to bring you some stuff so he could stock up your fridge. the quiet in the air stretches longer and you glance at him. he’s folding the napkin on the counter you threw open to wipe the water you spilled the other day and suddenly it’s too much—the care, the concern and the way he moves around your house like it’s natural, like nothing changed. “you don’t have to to do all that”, you say from the couch, looking over at him from where you’re sat. you unconsciously pull the blanket closer around your body like a shield. “i want to”, he simply says as fills a glass of water and walks towards you, bringing it to you. he places it onto the coffee table in front of you. 

you’re suddenly overwhelmed with everything because you can feel everything all at once with what wonwoo’s doing right now and it’s too much. “you should go”, you say, not looking at him. wonwoo pauses in front of you looking at you. “what?”, he asks, making sure he didn’t hear you wrong. “i said you should go, i’m fine”, you repeat, your voice coming out a little urgent this time. “Y/N”, wonwoo starts carefully, his eyes never leaving you as you sit on the couch, not looking at him. “i don’t need you to help me, i’m fine”, you say again, like you were convincing yourself rather than telling him. wonwoo’s chest tightens lightly at your words. silence fills the room now and wonwoo doesn’t know what to do. “i just want to make sure you’re okay”, wonwoo says softly, his tone careful and you shake your head. “and i’m fine so you can leave”, you say, finally looking at him this time. he sees the panic in your eyes and the way your hands still tremble lightly in your lap.

“you’re pushing me away”, wonwoo finally states and you look away, panicked. “i didn’t ask you to come here”, you say a little sharply this time, your tone defensive. wonwoo stills at your words, hurt flashing behind his eyes for a moment before he pushes it away. he exhales slowly. “i only want to help you Y/N”, wonwoo says. “i don’t want or need your help wonwoo”, you say, swallowing the lump in your chest and blinking back the tears that sting in your eyes. wonwoo looks at you one last time and takes a slow step back. “if you need anything—“, he starts but you cut him off. “i won’t”, you say. it’s a lie and both of you know it. wonwoo slowly leaves, walking toward the door and he spares you one last glance before he walks out, the door clicking shut behind him. 

your apartment feel colder than before and the silence is louder now. you stare at the glass of water he’d left and the container of food beside it. you pushed him away because you didn’t want him to see how broken you really were.

wonwoo finds himself at the pub later that evening. he sighs as he takes a seat at the bar. the pub is louder than he remembers or it’s just been a while since he’s been here. the bar is filled with overlapping conversations, obnoxious music and the smell of fried food and beer. wonwoo is halfway through his glass already when he hears someone call out his name. “well if it isn’t the great jeon wonwoo”, someone says. wonwoo turns around and is greeted by a familiar face—choi seungcheol. “didn’t expect to see you here”, seungcheol adds as he takes a seat next to wonwoo. “likewise”, wonwoo says, making seungcheol chuckle softly. seungcheol glances at wonwoo and his beer glass that’s already half empty. “you look worse than last time man”, seungcheol comments. wonwoo only takes another sip of his drink. “good to see you too”, wonwoo says and seungcheol watches him quietly. he knew wonwoo long enough to understand what the silence meant. 

“is this about your partner?”, seungcheol starts carefully, his own mug of beer finally arriving. wonwoo nods. “i heard about what happened”, seungcheol says and wonwoo hums softly. “is she okay now?”, seungcheol asks, taking a sip of his drink. wonwoo doesn’t answer immediately. “she’s pushing me away”, wonwoo finally says. “i want to help her, i’m trying but she’s shutting me out and i don’t know what to do”, wonwoo adds. seungcheol takes another slow slip of his drink before speaking.

“did you ever think that maybe she’s not pushing you away on purpose?”, seungcheol asks and wonwoo glances at him. “when people go through something bad or something traumatic, they don’t always want people to see it or see what it’s done to them, especially when it’s someone they care about”, seungcheol says and wonwoo looks down at his drink. “i don’t know. she keeps telling me that she’s fine, but i know she’s not fine and she knows she’s not fine either”, wonwoo says, letting out a small defeated sigh.  

“she doesn’t want you to see her struggle because it makes her feel weak”, seungcheol says. “then what am i supposed to do?”, wonwoo asks, almost helpless. “she went through something no one understands and i feel like if i make one wrong move, she’ll disappear again”, wonwoo admits and seungcheol’s expression softens slightly. 

“don’t try to fix it, but that doesn’t mean you walk away either. you just show up and stay without trying to solve it. show up, sit and talk with her about mundane things, don’t push anything”, seungcheol suggests. “every step forward feels like i’m crossing a line”, wonwoo says. “it feels like that because you care wonwoo”, seungcheol responds. 

“you’re her partner and the guy she’ll probably call at two in the morning when everything finally makes sense and she feels better”, seungcheol says and wonwoo looks at him. “if she calls”, wonwoo trails off and seungcheol lightly nudges his glass against wonwoo’s. “she will because she trusts you”, seungcheol reassures. “and if she doesn’t, you check in anyway. you stay because sometimes people need proof you’re not going to leave them even when things get too difficult”, seungcheol says. “i just don’t want to make things harder for her”, wonwoo says lightly. seungcheol studies wonwoo for a moment. “she just needs someone who won’t leave when things get uncomfortable. just show up, leave when she needs space and come back anyway”, seungcheol says. the both men sit in comfortable silence for a moment.

“you’re surprisingly good at this”, wonwoo says, glancing at seungcheol. seungcheol lets out a small snort. “at what?”, he asks. “this”, wonwoo says. “relationship advice”, wonwoo finishes and seungcheol nearly chokes on his drink. wonwoo looks at seungcheol for a moment longer, noticing the way the tip of his ears turn slightly pink—a tell tale sign of seungcheol’s. “you got yourself a girl or something?”, wonwoo asks. seungcheol looks at wonwoo and pauses for a beat. “it’s a long story”, seungcheol says quietly and wonwoo turns around to fully face him, a little amused now. “you did, didn’t you?”, wonwoo asks. “maybe”, seungcheol answers lowly as he scratches the back of his nervous, suddenly shy. “good for you man, it’s been…a while”, wonwoo tease slightly making seungcheol give him a look.

“sometimes love makes you do irrational things”, seungcheol says. “and you’re saying that from experience?”, wonwoo asks. “maybe”, seungcheol adds and wonwoo shakes his head, a little amused at the irony. 

wonwoo sits there a while longer, seungcheol beside him and for a moment they’re just two tired friends. wonwoo puts down a bill from his drink and finally stands to leave. he looks at seungcheol. “i’ll catch you later”, wonwoo says and seungcheol hums in response.  wonwoo takes a step forward. “hey”, seungcheol calls out and wonwoo turns around. “go easy on yourself yeah”, seungcheol says and wonwoo nods and heads out, his car keys already in his hand. 

wonwoo drives back to your apartment with a silent determination now. he knows that he probably shouldn’t be driving, but right now all he can think about is you. the dull warmth of the beer tingles in his chest. it’s not enough to cloud his judgement but enough to know that protocol would tell him otherwise. but right now, protocol and whatever rules he was trained to follow stopped mattering the moment he stepped out of the pub. wonwoo drives carefully, his mind set on one thing right now—you.

you’d told him you were fine and pushed him away and he listened. now wonwoo realises that walking away feels worse than breaking every professional boundary he’s ever had to follow. wonwoo’s mind keeps going back to the way you looked: too tired and too pale, like you were holding yourself together out of pure stubbornness and will that you didn’t have left, like you were afraid of something you couldn’t explain. wonwoo’s grip on the wheel tightens as he takes a turn. he’s seen trauma on agents before, but on you it feels like watching someone survive something no one was allowed to understand and how everyone kept pretending it was normal, like nothing happened. 

all wonwoo can think about is you sitting alone in your apartment right now, with the lights off and the curtains drawn, in a sweater and your hands trembling as you try to convince yourself that you’re okay and his heart breaks at the thought. 

wonwoo doesn’t care if you push him away again, get mad or close the door on his face. rain begins to fall now, falling steady against the windshield as he drives, accelerating a little more now. wonwoo reaches your building and parks a little crookedly in a hurry. he kills the engine and steps out of the car, rain immediately falling on his shoulders, dampening his hair and clothes. he walks towards the entrance and his chest tightens despite everything. wonwoo climbs up the stairs, two at a time and reaches your door. he lets out a breath and stands there for a moment and there’s only one thought on his mind now—that you don’t have to handle this alone anymore. he raises his hand and knocks on the door and waits.  

from the inside, you hear a soft but certain knock on your door. you chest tightens and you try to ignore it, but it comes again. “Y/N”, a voice calls out, certain and steady—wonwoo. why was he here again. you have half a mind to ignore him this time, but the way he calls out our name again tugs at your heart. you get up from the couch from where you’re lying down and slowly walk towards the door. you open the door this time and when you look at him his chest is rising and falling, like he came in a hurry. his shoulders and hair are damp and went from the rain, a few droplets spotting his glasses too. “what are you doing here again?”, you ask, tired. “because you told me to leave and i don’t care”, wonwoo says, observing you. you bite the inside of your cheek as you take in his words. “i told you to leave me alone”, you say coldly, not meeting his eye. he studies you for a moment. 

“no”, wonwoo simply states and you peer up at him, confused for a moment. “i’m not letting you do this alone anymore”, wonwoo starts, running a hand though his hair as he lets out an heavy exhale. “fuck it, i don't care if you’re pushing me away Y/N. i’m going to stand here and be here for you. i won't let you handle this alone anymore”, wonwoo confesses. your fingers tighten around the handle of the door. “you don’t get it, i can’t—i don’t want you here. i don’t want you involved in this”, you state. “i’m already involved, i’ve been involved ever since you walked into the basement the first day”, wonwoo says, taking a small step closer. your eyes flicker down to the ground and then back to his steady gaze again. “wonwoo i’m not the same person, hell, i don’t even know what’s wrong with me half the time”, you say, you’re voice cracking despite trying to be strong in front of him right now. 

wonwoo doesn’t say anything and he looks at you, his expression softening a little. “then i’ll sit here with you even if you feel that way”, he says. you shake your head. “you don’t get it”, you say softly. “i probably don’t, but i’m still not leaving”, he says and those words land on you hard. you swallow and take a deep breath. wonwoo takes another step forward and you move aside, letting him enter now. wonwoo steps inside and closes the door shut behind him. you chest tightens at his words and you feel the tears prickle at the corners of your eye. you hate how he could see through you right now.

“you don’t know what you’re signing up for”, you whisper. “i do”, he says. “no you don’t”, you counter immediately. wonwoo takes a breathe before speaking. “i know that you’re going to shut down and i know that you’re going to keep telling me that you’re fine even when you’re not. i know that you’re going to push me away because you’re scared”, wonwoo says, taking a slow, careful step forward. “and i’m still going to come back anyway”, he finishes. “why”, you ask, your eyes wet now.

because you need someone. because you’re terrified and because i love—

wonwoo stops himself there. “because you matter to me Y/N”, he says, his voice lower now, his gaze still steady on you, never leaving yours. your eyes burn from holding back the tears that threaten to spill out. “you’re so stubborn”, you mumble out instead. “yeah, i guess i am”, he replies softly. 

you both stand there by the corridor of you apartment by the door, a quiet tension hanging between you both. “i don’t know how to let you help me. i don’t even know what’s wrong with me”, you say with a small helpless laugh. “i just need you to let me be here”, he says and a tear finally slips past, rolling down your cheeks. wonwoo notices and steps closer slowly, not making a big deal out of it. he moves slowly so you can still move away if you wanted to, still willing to give you that space but you don’t move away. wonwoo slowly raises his hand, hesitating for a moment before his thumb gently reaches out and wipes away the tears on your cheek. “i’m not scared of this version of you”, he says quietly and another tear slips past at his words. “you should be”, you say, your voice barely audible. he wipes the tears once again, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. “i’m more scared of losing you”, wonwoo says softly and that does it. those words break the composure you’ve tried to hold onto for so long.

maybe it’s because you’re body is so tired and you’re so tired of holding on, of pretending to be okay, of trying to be strong. maybe it’s because you’re tired of pretending your fine, of telling yourself that you survived should be enough. wonwoo’s words ring in your mind and something inside you just breaks. your face crumples and you step forward, crashing into him, wrapping your arms around him as you finally let yourself go. a soft sob escapes you and his hands immediately wrap around you, pulling you closer into his chest, one of his hands gently cradling your head like he could protect you just by having you wrapped in his arms. another sob escapes you as you cry into his arms.

“it’s okay”, he murmurs, his voice low and steady. “i’ve got you”, he says as another sob escapes you, louder this time. your fingers bunch around the fabric of his shirt and you shake your head. “i can’t—“, you start and cry again, your shoulders shaking now. wonwoo holds you tighter, letting you cry. 

wonwoo gently rests his chin on the top of your hold pulling you closer. he runs a hand down your back in gentle soothing strokes as he grounds you and comforts you. “you don’t have to be strong, not with me”, he murmurs. you press your face into his chest, breathing him in, like it’s the only thing keeping you anchored right now. “i’m so tired wonwoo”, you admit between shaky breaths and he hums. “i know sweetheart, i know you are”, he says gently.

you stay like that for a while, holding onto him, letting your guard down and letting yourself cry. your sobs become softer now and you sniffle, finally pulling away to look at him. his gaze softens immediately and his thumbs gently wipe away the last few tears that slip down your cheek. you’re tired now and he notices. “let’s sit down”, wonwoo says softly, slowly guiding you towards the couch. you cling onto his arm as you walk with him and you sit down, sinking into the couch, wonwoo sitting right beside you. 

“i don’t know what’s real sometimes”, you admit softly as you speak. “i’ve changed wonwoo, i don’t know if it’s just in my head sometimes”, you say. wonwoo reaches out and rests his hands on top of yours, slowly intertwining his fingers into yours. “we’ll figure it out together”, he says, looking at you. you glance at him. “and i meant what i said. you can push me away, yell at me, shut the door on my face but i’ll still come back to you”, wonwoo says. your lips tremble faintly and you speak, the words coming out shaky. “you’re stupid”, you mumble out and the corners of his mouth lifts up into the tiniest hint of a smile. his eyes flicker towards the takeout container he’d brought earlier in the afternoon and it sits untouched. “dinner?”, he asks and you immediately shake your head. “i’m not hungry”, you mumble out and he only looks at you. “just a little, i’ll make something”, he says, slowly getting up and moving towards your kitchen. 

you watch as wonwoo moves around your kitchen. he opens the fridge but there’s barely anything inside. he manages to find some bread, eggs and some fruit. he moves carefully with a sort of ease. he toasts the bread careful not to burn it and makes some scrambled eggs on the side. he portions out some of the already cut melon into a smaller bowl and prepares a mug of hot tea on the side. wonwoo brings the plate over and sets in down in front of you. you look at the plate and then at him. “i’m not really hungry”, you repeat. “you need to eat something”, he says gently. “i know but—“, you start and then sigh. ever since you’d come back you’d lost your appetite.

“you don’t have to finish it, just a few bites”, he encourages gently. you hesitate and then pick up the fork, poking it into a piece of the melon and eating it, chewing slowly. even this feels like too much effort and you set down the fork. wonwoo watches you for a second and then he gently pushes the plate towards you again. “three more bites”, he says and you look at him. you pick up the fork this time and take bite of the eggs. it’s warm and nice, unlike the food you’d be give back at the facility. without thinking you pick up the piece of toast and bite into it. you chew and swallow, your fork reaching out for another bite and before you know it, you’ve finished half the plate without realising it. wonwoo watches quietly, proud and glad. 

you pause and then realise that this is the most you’ve eaten in weeks. “it’s good”, you say softly, glancing over at him and he gives you a small smile. you take a sip of the tea, the warmth of the mug seeping into your cold hands. you take a few more sips of the tea before setting the mug down. “done?”, wonwoo asks and you nod. he clears the plate and mug, putting the leftovers in a box and into the fridge. he washes the plate, dries it and stacks it neatly. you watch as he moves in your space and doing things like they were completely normal and natural to him. 

wonwoo sits back down with you. “tired?”, he asks and you nod. you were always tired now. you weren’t sure when you’d start feeling normal again or if you ever would feel normal again. “wanna sleep?”, wonwoo asks and you shake your head. “not sleepy”, you say. you rarely slept now and even if you did, it only lasted for a bit before you woke up shaking in panic and fear, all the memories resurfacing. wonwoo looks at you because he knows. he knows you struggle to sleep. he doesn’t tell you that he knows yet. you yawn a moment later, your body and mind clearly tired but you don’t want to sleep because you know what happens when you.

“you should sleep, you’re tired”, wonwoo suggests again and you look at him, unsure if you should tell him the truth but you don’t. you move and shuffle slightly to settle on the couch when he stops you. “it’s better if you sleep in bed, better for you back”, he adds. you protest immediately. “no, i like the couch better. the bedroom makes me feel suffocated”, you admit softly. 

wonwoo looks at you, his gaze softening as understanding settles over him. wonwoo gets up and moves, adjusting the blanket over you properly and me moves over to the couch on the opposite end, settling down there nstead so you have more space to lie down comfortably. you settle in and lie down fully. you glance over at wonwoo, who’s watching you. “you don’t have to stay”, you say softly. “i want to”, he says. “you’ll get tired”, you tell. “it’s okay”, wonwoo replies and you’re quiet for a moment. “you can sleep in the bedroom”, you say, the offer hanging in the air and he hums in response. the lamp is still turned on, illuminating the room in a soft glow. he doesn’t turn it off, letting it be. you close your eyes and let out a small breath. you don’t realise when you fell asleep. it’s peaceful for a while until suddenly it’s not because your sleep never lasts for long. it’s always starts small, your breathing becomes uneven and your fingers twitch around the blanket, tightening around the edge of the cloth.

“no—wait—stop”, you whisper. your brows furrow in discomfort and wonwoo wakes up immediately from the couch opposite you. wonwoo moves, coming towards you and kneeling down beside the couch next to you. “Y/N”, he says gently. you whisper something again. “hey, it’s okay”, he tries again because he doesn’t want to startle you. your breathing spikes and your chest rises and falls quick now and then your eyes snap open as you suck in a sharp breath. you’re confused for a moment, disoriented and for a second you almost don’t recognise wonwoo. you scramble backwards, your back sitting the armrest and you desperately clutch onto the edge of the blanket. for a second you feel like you can’t move and you feel like you can’t breathe. “no-no-no”, you say, your hands flying to your ears, pressing hard against them like you’re trying to block something out. your eyes are wide and unfocused and you don’t know where are are for a moment.

“it’s me, wonwoo”, he repeats, his voice low, never raising his voice. you look at him and slowly the recognition filters into your system. your breathing starts to slow and you ease your posture as relief starts to flood into you. “i thought i was still—“, you start but you don’t finish it, your voice trembling. “i know, it’s okay, you’re safe here”, wonwoo assures. wonwoo slowly gets up from where he’s kneeling on the floor, careful not to scare you in any way and he settles down beside you, still keeping a respectful distance from you, still giving you that space and choice. 

a shiver runs down your spine and you start to feel cold again. you pull the sleeves of your sweater over your fists, hoping to help ease the cold but it doesn’t really do much. wonwoo notices of course. he slowly reaches out and repositions the blanket, draping it over your properly so you’re covered now and the warmth slowly settles over you more now. “thanks”, you mumble out, glancing at him, your eyes wide now, adjusting to the low light of the room. he hums in response and his hand rests near yours, which is covered inside the blanket now. you look down at his palm and stare at it for longer that intended. it’s strange how something so simple suddenly feels so complicated. your chest tightens lightly at the thought that trust used to be easy before and now you don’t know anymore. 

your fingers twitch inside the sleeve of your sweater, under the blanket and you hesitate for a moment. wonwoo isn’t looking at you, he’s looking straight ahead, like he’s thinking about something. you take a small breathe and slowly and carefully you slide your hand out from underneath the blanket. your fingers stop just short of reaching out and for a second you almost pull back. you heartbeat picks up and you reach out more, your fingers brushing against his for a second, sending a spark of warmth and something else through you. wonwoo notices immediately, going completely still and aware. you reach out more, your fingers gently brushing over his knuckles like your testing the waters. your fingers slowly slip around his and wrap around three of his fingers. wonwoo stays still, like he isn’t completely affected by your fingers around his and his heart isn’t beating a million miles an hour.

your grip is light around his and then it slowly tightens, like you need something real to hold onto. wonwoo finally looks at you and then down at your fingers wrapped around his, holding onto it like it was the only thing keeping you sane right now. wonwoo carefully and slowly shifts his hand so his fingers into yours, his hand curling around yours fully now. wonwoo’s hand is warm and engulfs yours in a fascinating way. you glance at him and meet his eyes and there’s something softer behind them now. after a while the warmth of wonwoo’s hand starts to settle into you and seep into your skin. your body starts to relax and you stop shivering from the cold now, warmth engulfing you now, like your body is remembering something it hasn’t felt safe enough to reach out for in a while. wonwoo doesn’t move, his fingers still wrapped around yours as his thumb traces slow gentle stokes over your hand, like he’s grounding you. 

you start to feel sleepy again, something you haven’t felt yourself feel in a while. you shift closer to wonwoo without really thinking and your shoulder brushes against his. wonwoo automatically adjusts his position, giving you the space and letting you move. you scoot closer and like natural instinct you lean your head on his shoulder. wonwoo adjusts his arm without a second thought, lifting his free arm and settling it around your shoulders gently, holding you. his other hand is still intertwined in yours and your fingers tighten around his as you close your eyes. you hadn’t realised how exhausted you were until now. it’s the kind of exhaustion that seeps into your skin and bones and lingers there. but now that someone else was there to hold some of that weight that you were so adamant on holding onto and dealing with alone, it’s like your body finally lets go slowly. 

you breathing starts to steady and slow down and you’re half asleep when you adjust your position, curling closer into wonwoo’s body, your head resting half on his chest now. wonwoo’s arm tightens around you and within the next few minutes you’re deep asleep. you sleep properly this time, real, deep sleep. wonwoo doesn’t dare move as you sleep curled up against him. he only watches the slow gentle rise and fall of your chest and the way your fingers till grip onto his. “you’re safe”, he murmurs quietly.

morning settles quietly in your apartment. the curtains are still drawn but sunlight leaks through whatever gaps it can find, lightly illuminating the room. the lamp is still on, the glow duller now. your stir slowly and the first thing you realise is how warm you are. the next thing you notice is how rested you feel. and the third thing you realise is that you didn’t wake up in the middle of the night—you slept through. you chest tightens at the realisation because that’s the first time in months. 

you blink your eyes open and it takes you a second to remember where you are and who you’re leaning against. then it clicks—wonwoo came over last night and somehow you’ve ended up curled against him. your head rests against his solid chest and you can hear the faint thump of his heartbeat that’s steady and grounding. your glance down and his fingers are still loosely tangled around his. you slowly shift and lift your head up, tilting it up to peek a look at wonwoo. he’s asleep, his head titled back against the couch, his glasses sitting a little crookedly on his face. he must have tried to stay awake and dozed off eventually. you watch him quietly for a moment and something soft and warm settles in your chest. 

you move again and this time wonwoo stirs. his grip around you tightens automatically, like he’s alert even when he’s fast asleep. “you okay?”, he asks, half awake now, his voice low and rough with sleep. he lifts his head, glancing at you and you nod, blinking up at him. “you didn’t have to stay up like that”, you say softly because he was probably up all night since he was worried you’d have those night terrors again. “i wanted to”, he says without missing a beat, like it was the easiest thing in the world. you look away for a second, your gaze dropping to your fingers in his and your cheeks warm slightly. “i slept”, you say and he looks at you. “like actually slept. i didn’t have any bad dreams or wake up”, you add. wonwoo’s gaze relaxes. “that’s good”, he says. you shift slightly and lean your head on his chest again. 

“hungry”, he asks a beat later. “not really”, you say. it’d probably take some time for your appetite to return fully. you move again and shift, sitting up now. wonwoo’s hand moves from your shoulder and he rolls his shoulder lightly to try and work out the stiffness from it.“sorry”, you say immediately because you’d slept on his shoulder all night and he didn’t even move to adjust himself. “it’s fine”, he says, like it wasn’t a big deal to him if it meant you slept properly. wonwoo’s gaze drifts to the curtains that are still drawn in your balcony and he slowly gets up, drawing them open slowly, looking at you the entire time, like he was silently asking you if this was okay. you nod lightly and soon sunshine pours into the room, bright and warm.

wonwoo glances towards the kitchen and then remembers that there isn’t really anything in the fridge for him to try and cook something for you and that he should probably go home and freshen up himself. “i’ll drop by my place and be back alright”, he asks, like he wants to make sure you’re okay with him leaving. you nod, “okay”.  he still studies your face for a second before he moves. “i won’t be long”, he says as he grabs his jacket that was sprawled on the other couch. “i know, take your time”, you say. he glances at you one last time before he opens the door and steps out, the door clicking shut behind him. 

your apartment is quiet again for a few minutes you just sit there in the silence, basking in the sunlight that you’ve finally allowed to enter your house. eventually you finally lift the blanket off your lap and you stand slowly. your legs are a little unsteady at first but you walk to the bathroom slowly. your glance at yourself in the mirror and a tired reflection of yourself greets you in the mirror. you’re still getting used to this version of yourself. your hair is messy, your eyes are tired and a little sunken in from the lack of sleep. you bend down and splash some cold water on your face and it helps a little. you slowly peel off your clothes one by one and step into the shower.

the hot water hits your body and immediately releases the tension that’s been wound so tight in your muscles. you let out a deep sigh and stand there, letting the water fall over you. you wash up and then step outside, wrapping yourself in a towel and change into a fresh sweater and soft comfortable pants. you steal a glance at your reflection again and somehow you look a little better now—you almost look like yourself. 

wonwoo returns an hour later, having freshened up himself and with two bags of groceries to restock in your fridge and pantry. the door opens with a soft click and wonwoo steps inside. he doesn’t spot you on the couch and his gaze wanders around. you come out, walking slowly as your feet pad across the floor, a little steadier now. your eyes find wonwoo and they light up gently. “you’re back”, you say as you walk towards him. wonwoo’s gaze wanders over you. “you look better”, he says as he sets down the two bags filled with grocers on the counter top. “i’m feeling a teeny bit better, which is the most i’ve felt in days”, you tell softly and wonwoo looks relieved. “i think last night’s sleep really helped”, you add. “that’s good”, wonwoo says, glad. you walk towards the grocery bags he’s bought and take a peek inside, watching him remove one item at at time and set them down on the counter before sorting them and putting them in their respective places.

“what do you want to eat? eggs? or maybe some porridge?”, wonwoo asks and you’re quiet because you’re still not really hungry. you watch as rice, eggs, a loaf of bread, fresh fruit, some snacks, basic vegetables and juices start to line the counter. wonwoo notices the way your fingers curl around the chair, holding onto it for support as you stand. “you should sit”, he says, already moving to pull out the chair for you. “i’m fine”, you say but he just guides you to sit instead. “i’ll make some porridge”, wonwoo says a moment later and grabs the rice and a few other ingredients and starts cooking in your kitchen like it’s the most natural and normal thing right now. 

soon the quiet sounds of cooking and something warm and comforting fills your apartment.  you quietly sit and watch wonwoo. during the middle, wonwoo silently cut some strawberries and more melon, putting them on a plate and setting it down in front of you. you stare at the fruit for a whole minute, debating because you had no appetite. you slowly reach forward and pick up the small fruit fork and poke it into a piece of the strawberry.

you take a tiny bite, a nibble almost and it’s sweet and slightly tart. you put the whole thing in your mouth next and chew on it slowly and swallow. you eat another piece and then another and soon, you’ve devoured the strawberries that wonwoo cut up. wonwoo notices but doesn’t say anything but he’s happy. after ten minutes wonwoo sets down a bowl of warm porridge in front of you. “i just ate some strawberries”, you say, looking at wonwoo. “and five strawberries does not count as lunch”, he counters and you give him a look. “you need to eat to get some strength back”, he says, his tone softer now, concern laced over it. 

“careful, it’s hot”, wonwoo tells as he watches you pick up the spoon and pick up a small spoonful of the porridge. wonwoo looks at you carefully as you take the first bite. you scrunch up your nose a little as you chew and swallow, glancing at wonwoo. you take another spoonful and blow on it before eating again. you take a few more bites before you slow down, your appetite fading again. after six bites you set the spoon back in the bowl. “done?”, wonwoo asks and you nod. there’s still more than half the bowl left but wonwoo doesn’t push you. soon, the familiar tiredness starts to settle in your body again and wonwoo notices immediately, like he was completely tuned into you. he wordlessly helps you stand and guides you back to the couch, his hands gently on your lower back as you sit down.

that next week comes by and goes just as quick, but the only difference this time is that wonwoo is by your side the entire time. wonwoo would drop by his apartment or step out for bureau work, but eventually he’d always end up back at your doorstep, keeping his promise that he was going to be there for you and not leave you alone. you still struggle to sleep during the night, waking up every few hours at a sudden sound you heard or because of the memories that resurfaced again, jerking you awake. and every time, wonwoo was there, right beside you, his voice guiding you back to reality and him. some nights wonwoo holds your hand the entire night and other nights you’d fall asleep on his chest, the steady sound of his heartbeat grounding you and putting you to sleep. he’d make sure you ate, even if it was just a few bites, bring you water, juice, snacks and cut fruit throughout the day. 

today you’re sitting on the couch again, it had become your usual spot now. you’re wearing wonwoo’s hoodie and it engulfs you entirely. it was oversized but it was undeniably warm, soft, comfortable and smelled like wonwoo. he’d brought it over one day when he came back in the evening because he noticed you always wore a sweater now. at first you thought it was just concern, but now it’s starting to feel like something else. wonwoo sits beside you and you’re sitting near him, close enough that you can feel the warmth from his body seep into you. you glance at wonwoo beside you, taking him in. you couldn’t help that feeling that lingered in your chest—something dangerously like love. you still remember that night vividly—the night he kissed you and now all the unsaid feelings that linger through his actions and closeness between you both now.

“wonwoo?”, you say and he immediately looks at you. “yeah?”, he asks, his eyes searching through yours to see if you were in any sort of discomfort. “you don’t have to stay again tonight, you can go home you know”, you say. “i know, but i want to stay”, he says easily. “you keep saying that”, you say. “because it’s true”, he says. “but why”, you ask softly. “you don’t have to feel responsible for me”, you add, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself as your voice quietens halfway through saying that. “this isn’t responsibility”, wonwoo says after a second, looking at you now. “then what is this”, you ask quietly. “i’m staying because i care about you Y/N”, wonwoo says, leaning closer ever so slightly. he looks at you like he’s trying to carefully choose his words. 

“i didn’t want to complicate things because you’re my partner and we’re supposed keep things professional and not cross lines, but god, you make that impossible for me. that night when i kissed you, it meant everything—that i would protect you no matter what and i’m not going to go back on that”, wonwoo says. “i like you Y/N”, he says and then gulps. “fuck, i think i love you”, he adds a second later, you breath hitching softly at his confession.

your eyes search his and then they flicker down, glancing at his lips for a moment before hovering back up to his heavy gaze, which is still steady on you. you stare at wonwoo, his confession hanging in the air. you watch as his gaze drops down to your lips too for a moment too. you shift, leaning forward and you plant a small, lingering kiss to his cheek and pull away slowly.  you’re closer now and he’s looking at you, his gaze a little darker now, his eyes flickering to your lips again, like he’s trying to hold himself back but it’s a losing fight. 

“Y/N”, he says, his voice dangerously low. “i like you too wonwoo, maybe a little too much”, you confess, the words tumbling out of your mouth. his eyes are sharper now behind his glasses and he steals another glance at your lips, his composure slowly breaking. you lean in slowly, tilting your face up and you stop just short of his lips, your nose brushing against his. your chest is rising and falling from the anticipation and closeness and wonwoo’s hand comes up to cup your cheek. “you still drive me insane, you know that right?”, wonwoo says, his voice rough with a little need now. “good”, you mumble out, leaning in closer, your lips brushing against his for a second as you peer up at him, waiting. the tension hangs thick and heavy in the air and between you both. wonwoo slowly leans in, closing the gap between you both, kissing you. the moment wonwoo’s lips move against yours, you let out a soft sigh, kissing him back. god, you missed this. you missed him. 

he kisses you slowly, carefully and carefully at first, pulling away quicker than you’d like. a small protest leaves your lips as you chase after his lips, kissing him again. your hand rests on his chest now and wonwoo’s other hand wraps around your waist, pulling you into him. the careful restraint from before disappears now and the kiss becomes deeper and a little more desperate, months of tension and longing finally being released. his lips move against yours like he’s savouring every second and your fingers tangle in his hair as you shift even closer. the kiss deepens gradually and it’s not rushed, but hungry in a quiet way, like he’s taking his time because he don’t want to lose a second of it and wants to savour this, savour you, like he’s been waiting too long for this.

your body melts into his and you can feel warmth of him surround you now—his chest against yours, his arm that’s firmly wrapped around your waist, pressing you closer and his thumb absentemindely brushing your side like he’s reminding himself that you’re actually real and here. you lose yourself completely, in the warmth of his lips against yours. when you finally pull back, wonwoo’s glasses is slightly crooked, his gaze softer now but still dark and his chest rising and falling. 

your heart is beating fast—too fast. you can feel it thumping and your chest is rising and falling hard, an after effect of the incident. wonwoo notices immediately. “you okay?”, he asks, concern flicking over his face for a second as he searches your eyes. “yeah”, you say as you try to catch your breath. you lean forward again and wrap your arms around his neck again, hugging him as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. his arms tighten around you automatically, holding you against him. you stay like that for a minute, breathing him in, trying to calm your heart but you know it’s useless. you lift your head up and look at wonwoo.

“it’s just that thing again”, you start softly and wonwoo’s brows knit together lightly. “sometimes when i feel everything all at once it becomes too much and my heart rate just spikes”, you add. wonwoo looks at you carefully because he remembers reading that in the file—of how you were now hyperaware of everything and felt everything too deeply and loudly now, the hyper-awareness, heightened emotional response and sensory overload.

“i’ve got you”, he says lowly. “is it because of the kiss?”, wonwoo asks quietly a second later and you nod slowly. “and because of you”, you add and he smiles faintly. you lean in again and kisses you but it’s slower this time, likeyou’re body and mind time to keep up with your heart. wonwoo melts into the kiss again for a moment and then pull back before it gets deeper. your breathing is still a little uneven but the sharp racing of your heart has eased up now. your heart still beats faster than normal now, but not in that scary and uncontrollable way like before. “hey”, he murmurs. “we should take it slow”, he finishes quietly. his gaze flickers between your eyes, searching, making sure you understand where he’s coming from. you hum in response. 

“does it scare you?”, wonwoo asks, referring to the way your heart races sometimes. you settle next to him now. “sometimes”, you admit. “then we’ll take it slow”, he adds. the silence stretches between you both, but it’s comfortable now.

“how come you never asked me about what happened when i was gone…or what they did?”, you ask. wonwoo doesn’t look at you immediately, his gaze going back to the files and notebooks he’d brought over tonight. he was planning to tell you tonight—tell you that he found out what they were doing and that he’d solved the cases and figured it all out while you were gone—but you beat him to it. “i don’t know what happened when you were missing for those seven days Y/N, but i know what they did to you when you came back”, wonwoo finally admits. you sit up a little straighter, looking at him. “what do you mean?”, you ask. wonwoo closes his eyes for a second, trying to find the right words. “i read your files Y/N. my source—the mystery man—he gave them to me”, wonwoo says and says and he can read the confusion on your face.

“that day when you came back in the forest and they took you away, i wasn’t allowed to see you. they didn’t let me near you or even tell me where you were. they told me to back off for your sake and for your safety and i did, only because i didn’t want my reckless behaviour to end up hurting you in any way”, wonwoo explains. “and one night i came back home and your files had been slid under my door”, he continues. “that was the only thing that he was willing to give me in exchange for not reaching out for you”, wonwoo finishes. 

you stare at wonwoo, his words sinking into you and you chest tightens even more for some reason now. wonwoo knew. he knew everything and despite all that, he still stayed. all this time you thought that he didn’t know what the hell you’d gone though and what you’d become now, so you thought the best option was the push him away so he’d not see this side of you and see the person you’ve become. but wonwoo fucking knew everything and still came back running to you and chose you over everything. he didn’t abandon you like everyone else did.

“you knew everything”, you finally say, your voice barely above a whisper as the realisation hits you. “yes”, he answers, his hand finding yours now, giving it a small squeeze. wonwoo notices the way you’re eyes are wet now. “then you know how i’ve changed”, you say. “yes”, wonwoo says. “and you still came back to me”, you say, your voice dropping. god. “why”, you ask. “you think reading those files would make me leave?”, he questions. “it should. i’m not the same person. i don’t even know who or what i am anymore wonwoo. you’d have read the reports and notes they wrote about me and the tests they did and the fact that my body is not normal—“, you say, your voice stopping there.

“i’m not the same person anymore”, you admit quietly. “you are”, wonwoo replies firmly. “they just couldn’t understand you”, he says and you tear up more. “whatever happened to you…none of that changed who you are. you’re still the same person to me”, he says, his voice softer now, more gentle. “you’re still the person who argues with me over logic, you’re still my partner and you’re still the person i fell in love with”, wonwoo says, his words hitting you hard.

“you say that so easily”, you scoff lightly, looking away before looking back up at him again. “because it’s easy to chose you”, he says without any hesitation. “you’re unbelievable”, you say with a shaky breath as a few tears finally spill out and roll down your cheeks. wonwoo pulls you into him without any second thoughts, his arms wrapping around you as he holds you close. “so you’re really not scared of me?”, you ask, your voice muffled on his shoulder as you speak. “no”, he says firmly. you pull away and wonwoo wipes your tears away. you lean forward and kiss him again. this time the kiss is slower and softer. there’s no rush, just tenderness. when you pull back, you rest your forehead against his for a moment before you lean back further.

wonwoo speaks after a moment, once he thinks you’ve gathered yourself enough. “are you tired or do you want to put your detective brain to use, agent?”, he says, his tone lightly teasing, making the corners of your mouth lift up into a tiny smile. “i might be a little rusty but hit me with what you have”, you say and wonwoo smiles lightly before, grabbing the files and notebooks from the coffee table, his expression slowly turning serious again. 

“i solved it”, wonwoo says and you peer at him, waiting for him to elaborate. “the cases, the three cases we were investigation and then everything that lead upto the moment before you disappeared—i figured out what they’ve been doing and hiding. i found out the truth”, wonwoo says, looking at you carefully, trying to decipher your reaction. “oh my god”, you say. “really? how? what is it?”, you ask, your brain now active and alert. 

“all the cases—colonel nam with the test pilots case, what happened to agent jaehyun and then the alien dna we found, it’s all connected”, wonwoo starts and he has your full attention now. “they were all under a bigger project authorised by the government—project anomaly”, wonwoo continues, choosing his words carefully so he could explain it to you easily. “and the goal of this program was to test alien technology and see if they could use it for war and defence systems”, wonwoo says. he watches your face to see your reaction and you sit up straighter as the words sink into you, your brows furrowed lightly now.

“the colonel nam case and the aircrafts we saw? they were indeed using alien technology to build and test aircrafts”, he says. “you’re serious?”, you ask. you remember the way those aircrafts moved too fast and did spins that were impossible for a regular aircraft to pull off. wonwoo had been right about that the entire time. “the propulsion system created an electromagnetic filed that affects the pilot’s brains because it wasn’t something a human could endure—that’s why colonel nam was so distressed”, wonwoo explains. 

“and whatever happened with agent jaehyun wasn’t a mistake Y/N, they used him as a guniea pig, as a human test subject without his knowledge. you remember the way he changed right?”, wonwoo asks and you nod. “yeah, he was acting weird, not like himself at all and kept addressing himself as the robber instead of himself”, you say and wonwoo hums in response. “that wasn’t a trauma response Y/N”, he says, pausing as he tries to find the right words to make it sound sane enough. “that was because it wasn’t jaehyun—it was the robber”, wonwoo says and you furrow your brows harder now. “what do you mean?”, you ask. wonwoo simply opens that case file and flips over to that page, turning it over for you to read. consciousness transfer. “what the fuck”, you mumble as you read. 

“they were trying to move someone’s mind into another body”, you say, looking up at him in utter shock. “yes”, wonwoo says. “oh my god”, you say as realisation hits. “jaehyun didn’t even know what happened. that’s why he disappeared and then he was acting so odd and everything that happened in the warehouse”, you say and you recall the events. “and in the end they killed him because it was too unstable”, you say quietly.

“and the alien dna we found, they were indeed testing it and creating alien-human hybrids like the mystery man has said”, wonwoo says. “but why?”, you ask. “to create better soldier”, wonwoo says. “to create a soldier that was stronger, sharper and better, so they could be used in warfare”, wonwoo says and you looked at him. 

“all of these are connected to one single goal—to understand alien technology, how it can be used on humans and the human mind and try to find a way to exploit and weaponise these findings”, wonwoo concludes. “oh my god”, you say, softer this time because it was still sinking in. the sick truth hits you and you also understand why the government was studying you now and all those tests they conducted on you. “you were right about what they were doing. you were right about everything”, you say and he only looks at you. your mind wanders over the the time when you disappeared, to when whatever took you.

you mind drifts back to the gap in your life—to the time that you disappeared and appeared and remember vividly. “when i went missing wonwoo…”, you start slowly, the words feeling unfamiliar in your mouth as you try to explain it to him. “i don’t know where i was”, you say.

“i don’t remember the place or it wasn’t even really a place and it like i was just floating in the air, suspended”, you start to explain. your fingers curl around the edge of wonwoo’s hoodie in your lap. “but i wasn’t alone, there was something there with me”, you say. “i could feel it’s presence next to me, like it was watching me and studying me”, you say. wonwoo’s expression shifts a little and it’s subtle but you catch it, the way his focus sharpens. you take a breathe before you continue to speak. “i was suspensed in the air, but i couldn’t move, like i didn’t have control over my body anymore”, you say, your throat tigthening a little but you swallow and continue. “and then i realised that they weren’t trying to hurt me. they were just trying to understand me”, you tell and wonwoo’s brows pull together lightly, still listening and he doesn’t interrupt. 

“it was like my thoughts, all my memories and my mind, it was like something was shuffling and going through them, studying how my mind worked and not just what i remembered but how i processed things, emotions, reactions, feelings…everything”, you say, like you were still trying to make sense of it. “and the strangest part in the way they communicated with me. i could hear them in my mind, like it was clear and intentional and it wasn’t like a thought but it was a clear voice, and i would answer and talk to them the same way, through my mind”, you say and now when you say it out loud it sounds ridiculous, but it was real. you glance at wonwoo, searching his face. wonwoo’s hand comes over yours, giving it a small, reassuring squeeze. “i don’t think they really meant to hurt me wonwoo, but whatever they were doing…it wasn’t harmless”.

wonwoo exhales slowly, his jaw tightening just enough to betray and give way what he was thinking. wonwoo sit’s there, his eyes fixed on you, like he’s trying to find the right words to explain something to you. “what you experienced, it aligns with known alien abduction cases, but your case doesn’t fully match”, wonwoo says carefully. you furrow your brows. “what do you mean?”, you ask. wonwoo leans forward slightly as be explains. “typical abduction cases follow a pattern—missing time, paralysis, they’re in a room and they can’t move, they can feel a physical presence or can see entities near them, they’re transported to a structured environment usually reported on a table and they’re tested on physically, so there’s usually some physical evidence left over”, wonwoo says, his eyes carefully watching you to track your reaction. “with your case, only some parts overlap and are consistent, the rest is different, something that’s never been accounted or documented  before”, wonwoo says and you suck in a quiet breath at that. the silence that follows is heavy with things that you both don’t understand yet. 

wonwoo shifts closer and he watches the way your shoulders dip slightly as the weight of everything you’ve learned so far settles in. he gently reaches out for you, his hand warm and steady as he gently pulls you into him, slow and grounding. you breath catches for a second before you give in and melt into him. your forehead rests on his shoulder as his arms wrap around you fully now, holding you close. “you’re okay”, he murmurs quietly, like a promise, holding you there.

EPILOGUE - 7 MONTHS LATER

you wake up to a heavy arm around your waist. your back is pressed against wonwoo’s chest, the warmth radiating off him and seeping into your bones. you can feel his chest rising and falling behind you, warm and steady. you practically lived at wonwoo’s house because wonwoo refused to let you sleep alone. it stared off as concern and him asking you to stay the night because you shouldn’t sleep alone since you were still healing and recovering from everything. you always said yes anyway because sleeping with wonwoo, in his arms, you always slept better. and somewhere alone the line, it simply started becoming a second home. over the last six months, your things slowly started to migrate into his apartment—your favourite mug, an extra toothbrush in the bathroom, a section of his wardrobe now stacked with a bunch of your clothes that were neat folded for when you stayed over, your favourite tea and snacks in his pantry, your shoes by the door and more. 

you were sleeping much better now and the nightmares and night terrors were rare, but sometimes still showed up, but it wasn’t worse like before. you’re appetite slowly started to come back and you learned to regulate your heart and body temperature. you still felt cold though, that was something that didn’t go away.

you shift slightly and his hands tighten around you automatically, afraid you’ll disappear. “hmm”, he hums out still half asleep and you shift again, but he doesn’t let you move. “wonwoo”, you mumble softly. “where are you going”, he mutters out against your neck. “i need to go home, i have to get some things”, you say. he huffs. “and we have work to get to agent jeon”, you tease, but he only tightens his hold around you. “this is why i told you to move into my place”, he says, still half asleep.

you turn around to to sneak a look at him. his hair is messy as it falls over his forehead, his hair a little longer now and his face is calm and released. wonwoo shifts again, burying his face into your shoulder, placing a soft kiss there. you turn around slowly, facing him now. wonwoo slowly blinks his eyes open, his eyes finding yours immediately. “sleep okay?”, he asks and you nod. his eyes search your face anyway, like a protective instinct that might never really fade away. after a few more minutes of silence and basking in each other’s presence his grip around you loosens.

you shift again, moving to get up. you sit up and stretch, grabbing wonwoo’s hoodie that’s thrown over the chair and put it over your pyjamas. “i’ll pick you up, we’ll go to the bureau together”, wonwoo says as he watches you move, walking towards him to grab your phone from the nightstand. “we always go together anyway”, you say, giving him a look. “i know, just saying”, he mutters out, his hand reaching out for yours and stopping you before you can get too far. 

his arms wrap around your waist as he peers up at you, his eyes warm and filled with something like love. you lean down and kiss him as your hand settles on his shoulder as you steady yourself. his hand moves to cup your cheek as he tilts his head, moving his lips against yours.

back at your place, you take a quick shower and change into some work attire. after what happened, you took a break for four months before you decided that you wanted to return to work. the bureau was hesitant at first, but they let you because they didn’t really have a reason not to—unless they risked exposing what really happened with you, so they agreed. you trained for two more months before you got reinstated on one condition—that you wouldn’t be reassigned for active duty and field work immediately. you knew why they said that because it was safer for them—just a way of making sure you didn’t possibly go rogue and so they could keep an eye on you.

you still took it because you had nothing to hide anymore. you don’t flinch at loud or sudden sounds anymore, not much anyway. you’ve learned to control your heart rate, catch the signs early and breathe though it before your heart rate spirals out of control. you’ve learned how to ground yourself and how to let things pass through instead of crashing all at once. sure, at times you’ve failed at that and gotten triggered, but it’s better than before. control your breathing when things get overwhelming and for the most part, you’re okay.

the bureau had officially closed down the x-files division and you and wonwoo were no longer partners anymore. you both had been assigned to different departments now. the separation was intentional, easier to write on paper and justify and easy to believe. officially the bureau was restructuring and reassigning you both, but unofficially it was just an easy way to bury everything.

when wonwoo picks you up later, there’s a coffee and a breakfast sandwich waiting for you. “thanks”, you say as you get inside, taking a sip of the coffee. the car ride is silence, but it’s comfortable. wonwoo parks the car and you step out, walking towards the curb. you turn towards wonwoo, pausing there. he reaches out to adjust the collar of your coat. “you’ll be okay?”, wonwoo asks, searching your eyes again. he asks you that every time before you enter the bureau. “yeah”, you say and he hums in response. “i’ll be around if you need anything”, he says a moment later and you nod. “i’m okay”, you say giving him a small smile. “i know, but it does’t mean i won’t worry”, he says, leaning in and pressing a kiss to your temple.

when you first came back, you heard the whispers and what everyone said about you when you first walked into the bureau again. “didn't something happened to her”, “didn’t she disappear”, “i heard she went crazy”. you’d heard it all. you hated it at that first morning but by lunch time when you walked down the hallway, no one said anything, instead they just kept quiet. wonwoo had made sure no one would talk nonsense about you and shut everyone up.

now, you both walk in together, hand in hand. you don’t bother if people see you together, it wasn’t their business anyway. wonwoo holds your hand, giving it a small squeeze unconsciously as you both wait for the elevator. he was on the 4th floor now while you were on the 2nd floor. wonwoo’s been reassigned and transferred back to the violent crimes vision, working on homicide cases again. it was the kind of work he used to do before the x-files anyway and it was a good fit for him. it took you a while to get reinstated. after weeks of training, psychological evaluations, medical and physical clearance and endless paperwork, you were finally reinstated and assigned to work in the FBI lab because of your medical experience. you now coordinated with labs, conduct tests, analyse evidence, review forensic reports and even help conduct autopsy’s when needed. 

you and wonwoo stand side by side and it’s quiet. “forensics already burying you in work?”, wonwoo asks as he glances at the files in your hand that you’d picked up in the front office. “always”, you say. wonwoo pauses and then speaks again, “dinner tonight?”, he asks. you turn slightly to sneak a glance at him, raising an eyebrow. “you’re asking me like you don’t already know the answer”, you say. he shrugs lightly. “humour me”, he says and you bite back a smile, rolling your eyes. “fine”, you say and his mouth tilts into a small smile. “seven?”, he prompts and you nod. “seven it is”, you say. the elevator dings and the door opens and you step outside into the hallway, turning around one last time and giving him a small wave before the elevator door closes again. 

it’s 7:30 pm now and you’ve just wrapped up your work at the lab. you’re in the elevator, going up instead of down. the elevator doors slide open and you step outside. the violent crimes visions is still alive, a few agents still scattered around the floor, sitting by their desk and still working, case files open on the tables, timelines and notes stuck on various boards across the room. your eyes wander around the room until they land on wonwoo. he’s at his desk, leaned back in his chair, his sleeves rolled up, his tie loosened, hair a little messy and his glasses low on his nose as he stares at the file in his hand. he hasn’t noticed you yet. you slowly walk over and stop behind him whitely and lean over, taking a peek into what he was so absorbed with. 

“agent jeon?”, you say and he looks around immediately, turning in his chair. when his eyes land on you his gaze softens. “i thought someone was picking me up for dinner at 7pm?”, you ask, looking at him with a playful smile. “right, i did say that didn’t i”, he states like it was a solid fact you stifle a laugh before you speak again. “still working on that case?”, you ask. “yeah, it’s a brutal one”, he adds. “i was just finishing up the profile for it”, he says, his hand reaching over for yours, his fingers slipping into yours like second nature. you both get a few glances from agents across the room but you couldn’t care less anymore and no one says anything either. 

“okay, let’s go have dinner”, wonwoo says, closing the file with his free hand. he stands up and he reaches over for his jacket from the back of the chair and drapes it over his arm before grabbing a few other things and turning to you. “i can wait if it’s important”, you say immediately. “it’s fine, i was done anyway, just seeing if i had anything more to add”, he says as he steps around his desk. the both of you walk towards the elevator, hand in hand. “you owe me dessert now”, you comment as you wait for elevator and he smiles softly. 

later that night, you’re at wonwoo’s place again. he asked you to stay the night and you said yes, again. you really should just move in at this point you think because you don’t know when it stopped feeling like visiting and started feeling like you were returning to a second home instead. you’re curled up against wonwoo’s chest, sleeping soundly tonight with your head tucked right beneath his chin. his arm is wrapped around you, holding you close. your breathing is slow, even and your body is relaxed with no restless shifting. it’s one of the more peaceful nights.  some nights you’d still way up shaking, your breathing uneven and disoriented, your eyes searching the room like you were trying to remember where you were. wonwoo was always here to calm you down and remind you that you were safe and okay and pull you back to him with reassuring words and steady hands. wonwoo pulls the blanket over you careful not to disturb you as he adjusts it around your shoulders. he then leans down, pressing the softest of kisses to your hair.

but even here, even in the quiet right now, there’s something that doesn’t rest—the things no one wants to talk about. somewhere out there buried under classified reports and sealed files, the truth still exists. somewhere out there, there are still questions no one wants the answer to, still truths that no one wants uncovered and things that the government still wants to hide and pretend that it doesn’t exist. 

wonwoo knows the truth now and it’s the kind of truth that would shake the world if it ever saw the light of day. but he also knows that exposing it wouldn’t stop them, because some truths don’t make themselves right just because you reveal it—they get buried again and silenced. 

the truth is out there and one day the world will be ready to face it. 

END.

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[rotshi]

Ayo?

[katsleafedd]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

"you want me to tell chief laforteza that our primary suspect is a big hunk of wood?"

[iwant-tobeelieve]

A Gem-Like Flame by @slippinmickeys is one of my fav xfiles aus so of course i had to draw the olympians!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/35817346

Though I do love the idea of mulder being a runner /sprinter... scully as a gymnist is so perfect

[doodlehistory]

Recent things

[beskarfrog]

when your partner bails on bigfoot hunting to go out to dinner with some guy

[wheeleritsme]

happy late birthday will byers here’s another small snippet of my xfiles au

[lilkikibat]

Xfiles au!!

Lwj getting reassigned to keep an eye on fbi agent “Spooky Wei Wuxian”? this man???! from the start, lwj didnt stand a chance 😭