Yandere Magical Boy Filler Episode 1: Haru gets Dicked Over
It'd been another long day at work, dealing with the typical shit both metaphorical and even literal that came with it. Your footsteps pounded against the stairs (because of fucking course the elevator broke. Again) in an attempt to drown out the sounds of either fighting or.... something more nauseating coming from your neighbors a floor above you. Sharp pain stabbed into your temple while you clenched your hands over your ears and bared your teeth.
God fucking dammit. Can't I catch a break around here!? You glared up to your noisy neighbors' door and shook your head as the sounds grew louder. With a groan, you sprinted the remaining distance towards your apartment. You slammed the door open and immediately shut it.
Stumbling towards the coffee table, you cracked open one of the room-temp beers and started chugging. Because after having to be the unfortunate soul to brave the men's bathroom this time, you needed all of the booze you can to forget today's horrors.
With loud gulps, you chugged down the can and wiped your mouth with your forearm. A loud belch shot out of your mouth as you tossed the can into the recyclable box and plopped onto the scratched-up sofa. As you reached for another, a knock came on your apartment door.
"Oh, what now?" You groaned.
"It's me, Haru." Came the timid answer.
"It's game night, remember?"
Panicked, you opened your phone's calendar to see that yes, it was game night. Looking at the door then at the filled recyclables, you chewed on your lower lip. Your eyes darted over to the rest of the apartment. At least you cleaned it up two days ago, so it didn't look too bad.
Sighing, you grumbled out: "Alright, come on in and don't complain about the smell. No amount of Febreeze seems to work. And help yourself to a beer if you want."
The door creaked open as Haru shuffled in, closing it behind him. "How have you been?"
"Less you know, the better." You flatly answered, chugging down another can.
Haru settled his shopping bag and the stack of board games on the hall table beside him. "Rough day, huh?"
You grunted in response, swigging the rest of the can down.
"Well anyways..." Haru shrugged off his pastel-mint sweater, revealing the pink undershirt beneath it. "I also brought some snacks--"
A blur of black and white darted from your room-- almost slamming into the wall in its haste. Haru gasped as it fled in front of his feet and nearly bumped into him. The blur quickly rounded about and landed on the coffee table in front of him with a heavy thump.
Sitting rather primly on the coffee table, was a rather large tuxedo cat with silky fur. The cat stared back at him with wide, yellow-green eyes and with his little paws on the table's ledge, adjusting his position here and there. A stumpy tail curled around one side, making him appear even larger than he already was. The tail's tip flicked a bit alongside his ears.
"Oh! Is this your cat?" Haru asked and reached a hand out towards the chonky tuxie.
"Yeah, I guess." You answered with another shrug. "He just kinda appears and disappears whenever he wants to, like some dimension-hopping wizard or something. So, I leave some food and water out for him."
"He's so cute!" Haru gasped, petting the cat's head. "とてもかわいい子猫! O-oh, what's his name by the way?"
"すみません?" Haru blinked, turning towards you and shook his head. "I-I mean-- excuse me?"
"The cat's name is Dick, Haru."
Haru's eyebrows pinched in confusion as he asked in a soft voice: "Why is he called that?"
He looked down at the cat once again. "He doesn't seem like that to me.... More like... 彼はあのことわざに似ている......えっと、なんて名前だったっけ? Flying in the sky, you know?"
"I mean-- like the lights are on, but no one's home!" He stammered out, scratching the back of his neck. "T-that's what I meant?"
Dick chittered at Haru. This time, Dick stuck his head out a bit, emphasizing the cat's rotund build. Haru giggled at the cat's silly appearance; his smile grew wider and scratched the dapper-looking feline's ears.
"かわいすぎる!" Haru cooed, rubbing the cat's underjaw and white chest patch. "大きくてふわふわの塊みたいに!そうだろ?"
At that, Dick's mouth snapped open and nipped Haru's hand.
"ああ! 痛い!" He exclaimed and yanked his arm away, shaking his hand. "Okay, now that's starting to make a bit more sense. But he's still a cute little guy, aren't you?" He resumed rubbing the cat behind his ears.
"Yeah, especially when he decides you're a chew toy." You scoffed, guzzling down the second can.
"Or maybe he's just trying to show affection or being a little silly." Haru looked over at you before leaning towards the cat. "あなた、すごく柔らかくて可愛い！ただの可愛いおバカな子猫って感じだね?"
And once again, Dick's head shot out and his mouth this time clamped down on Haru's nose. The pastel-clad man yelped in pain and leaned away from the cat.
"A-ah!" He squeaked while rubbing his nose. "Why is he doing that?"
"T-that doesn't really explain anything!" Haru responded, glancing over at Dick. "Why is he like that?"
"Once again, Haru, Dick is simply a dick."
"But there's got to be more to it, right?" He blinked. His eyes glanced over to Dick now chittering once more, his shoulders hunched over and leaning in. "I mean... He can't just be biting me just because he feels like it."
"If there is, then I don't know nor do I care." You shrugged. "Maybe he just thinks you look like a damn teething ring."
Haru's lips pursed as he studied Dick. "If so, then--"
Dick's mouth snapped open again and locked onto his Haru's chest. His sharp teeth clamped down on Haru's nip with enough force to make the latter squeal out and collapse to his knees.
"痛い! 痛い! 痛い!" He screeched out as beads of blood seeped out through his shirt. Rubbing the affected area, he bit back the tears forming in his clenched eyes. Above, Dick was tensing up and adjusting his crouched body.
By the time Haru's eyes cracked open once more, Dick's round body casted a heavy shadow over him like a furry Grim Reaper. The cat stared down at him as his body tensed up for the final blow, chittering once again.
"ま、待って!" Haru began, shaking his head with terror-filled eyes. "だめ！やめて、子猫ちゃん! やめて--!"
The cat leapt from the coffee table like a massive furry missile with a swan dive that rivaled even the most graceful of competitive divers. Haru could only watch in horror as Dick's teeth found its target. Within a fraction of a second, the felonious feline's fangs clenched around the one place where a man really does not want to be bit.
Upon impact, Haru's eyes widened.
"FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
When the last syllable echoed out through the city, Haru slumped over to the side in a fetal position with clenched eyes and wailing. As the hapless man was left cupping and sobbing and rolling on the ground like a baby, Dick walked off with a flick of his tail. Not bothering with giving his fallen victim another glance.
