already mentioned this elsewhere but might as well put it here
i want Lohen to be the princess and the knight so bad
like i want him to not just be Lohengrin from the opera, i want him as the main chars of the opera as a whole aka also Elsa
i say let him be both the saved and the savior, the knight in shining armor and the damsel princess in distress, the noble and the peasant, the strong and the elegant, AT THE SAME TIME
also bc of princess of swan lake but thats reaching a bit
mmm swans and hares being technically prey but aggressive enough to be considered threats. Lohen being the duality of both sides of a classic fairy tale. flip flopping between in danger and is the danger on a dime
imagine he turns out to be a noble like Eula but bro pulls a princess knight in auditioning for knight tryouts in incognito and revealing himself until hes officially accepted and thus no takesies backsies
or just being someone ppl assumed as pretty and docile until given an opportunity he seized like a feral animal
let my guy multitask
let him offer a hankerchief both as a polite knight and a maiden showing favor
It’s no secret the majority of the fandom would like to pay Gale a visit and pull out his guts, but is it entirely for the right reason?
Yes I massively understand how his hand in the design of the bomb that murdered Prim and the flippant way he did anything but apologise with his heart and soul to Katniss can really create an itch. To Katniss, we know Prim was absolutely everything, the sun and the moon, to her and she had trusted Gale for so many years to help her keep her sister shining as bright as their world allowed only to have him be the so said ‘cause’ of her death an absolute betrayal both of trust and character. Even if Prim wasn’t in the field, the idea itself is already so morally wrong that you would probably slap the thought out of your head. He tries to dust it off as necessary to a war when Katniss sees the plans but was it, really? Prims death is not souly Gale’s fault at all but we see why Katniss reacts so strongly too it, her hunting partner of four years, her fellow squad member, one of the two people Katniss considered friends, she trusted him with her sister, asking him to keep her alive if she didn’t make it in the Games and to have him even sticking a pinkie in the plans of Prim’s demise. Another point that is mentioned in the books is that he didn’t order the bombs to go off and he couldn’t as he was trapped, with no communication nor knowledge within Katniss’s struggling squad but the incentive is all the same. The worst moral crime Katniss (and thereby, the reader) could think of and attributes it to him who doesn’t say anything and leaves her for a better life for himself while she is at the helms of the skirt of reality.
His entire character in mockingjay was really unfair. When Katniss has the audacity to make another friend, who more so understands the turmoil inside her head, he acts cold about it, dare one say, childishly. He does earn a small redemption point when he defends Peeta after his first interview but we don’t know the motives. He distances himself from Katniss and acts like it’s her fault, failing to realise there is a gap there, one that came to be after the end of her first Games but he wilfully tried to ignore. He hunts with Katniss, arguably their only common ground in the events of the book after their families appear reasonably safe. Gale’s goals appear to prioritise winning the war and can’t except when Katniss doesn’t share that, focused more on Peeta’s absence and coming to grips with being a doll for another child which only aligns with his when Peeta is back and she sees that she loves someone who she decides no longer exists and runs away, into Gales arms, his lips which he sadly says doesn’t really count like by that point he still hopes but is wearing off the delusion. He makes an off centred remark about why Katniss cares so much for her prep team that causes yet more fissures in the chasm between them which is interesting when only moments before, they acted as two bodies/one mind. When he offers to kill Peeta during the active war, it’s viewed (most likely) more to him as putting down a rabid dog with rabies learning to cope around the illnesses, picking up the pieces when Katniss refused, still seeing the humanity in Peeta even purely out of delusion. Gale attempts to read her stance on the situation and is incorrect or could it be he truly somewhat cared for Peeta by proxy of Katniss, when he defends him to her? Yet later on he proves how well he knows hee during his conversation with Peeta where the point that she will only choose who proves their use to her which is both callous and utterly correct which annoys Katniss immensely and presents his fear of no longer being relevant to her.
Catching Fire, kissing her, not a cool move and claiming he ‘had to do it at least once’ means nothing. He sees the difference in his friend but ignores it as he knows that there are things Katniss has survived without him, feeding their family and general life no longer the case. He strives to stay relevant to her so she doesn’t start relations with her Co Victor and Mentor, who can understand way more than he can. But as the mining quotas increase, his opportunity decrease, only one day a week he is allowed with her, in their sanctuary. He relies on Katniss, begrudgingly, to make sure his family have available food and necessary items, like he promised Katniss to do with her family had she not walked out. Gale, in his own blind way, manages to gaslight Katniss into assuming she loves him after watching her perform a whole romance with Peeta that help keeps him alive, which she waits a while to bring it up to him. The fact that it’s never mentioned they the Hawthornes attend dinner/lunch at the Everdeens house could allude to his sourness or something weirder as when he is recovering from being whipped, there is no mention of his family. I know it’s stated that there’s bad snow but they aren’t mentioned at all maybe showcasing the separation in Katniss’s mind between Gale and his family. When he is whipped, all three D12 Victors impose none other than for what Gale means to Katniss and help until he is discharged to Ms Everdeens care and Katniss sits by his side and holds his hand as he sleeps, eventually kissing him, assumingly safe in the knowledge he will never know but he does.
In the Hunger Games, Gale and Katniss’s relationship is way better defined and more jokey, friendly like. They have inside jokes, shared goals and fears, same responsibilities. They have the same pressure but the moment Katniss is at the risk of greeting death, again, he tries to tell her to come back by saying killing an animal and human are still the same basic principle, seeming to already accept the barbarism the Games command without setting foot in the arena, perhaps for holding the opinion that what he does is harder as the main provider for a family of five. He understands the Games concept exceptionally well but the moment he has to attribute real people too it in any way sympathetic, he is unable and unwilling, removing the savagery of core human kind and our individual core beliefs they make us human in our own right. He drags Prim away from the scene of her big sister volunteering to essentially die for her, as a salute to Katniss in a way of sorts, demonstrating how he protects what’s hers.
We learn that all along he had romantic intentions, going so far as to want children, towards Katniss that she was as blind as a bat too and he loved the closed off version of Katniss that was his who had time in her life to smile, such as the incident when Gale realised he minded. He doesn’t make any move, reasons unknown but he punishes her for it anyway in a way over the series, for not choosing him, for loving a Merchant, Traitor, liar and other. For choosing the bakers kid over him even with all Katniss and Peeta went through together. He doesn’t seem to like Peeta but not hate him as seen at points made early on, it’s likely he envies Peeta and is jealous over Katniss or he knows he loosely owes Peeta for getting Katniss home, a debt he understandably despises and wishes it to be left unpaid such as Katniss not thanking Peeta for the bread.
To conclude; Gale is emotionally constipated and immature and a slight romantic. Katniss has a rather cynical outlook on everything in the world and acts so much older than she is, already weighed down with life and she seems to understand the childlessness that want is, never seeming to entertain an out to a life she gets thrust into. Gale seems to think he can use this to get an advantage which he can’t but he shows immaturity over it and relentless that Katniss doesn’t have the passion for. He can’t seem to read a room. Doesn’t weigh in morality and logic in the same scale. He’s 18/19 during the series and still seems to be a bit behind a 16/17 year old in the terms of world view. His hope for a life with him and Katniss sort of protecting his mind from some of the rougher life aspects. He seems to fully mature when the bombs drop but acts the opposite to Katniss with hurtful yet accurate statements directed to her heart left, right and centre.
saw swangale and thought of The Nightingale and the Emperor by Hans Christian Andersen
(for those who dont know: its about an Emperor who befriends a Nightingale to hear its beautiful singing. theres a lot of different variations but i think the og is the nightingale is eventually replaced by a jeweled automaton version and leaves when unappreciated.
the automaton eventually breaks enough where it can only sing once a year. so when the Emperor falls ill with Death on his chest, he tries to get the automaton to sing his pain away but it remains silent. suddenly the real nightingale returns and sings the Emperor back to health and persuades Death to leave.
the Nightingale declines to be in the Emperor's court again, but agrees to come back and sing when it can)
mmm nobleman Lohen being possessive over his birdie and wanting to keep him to himself but has to accept Illuga deserves to be free...
btw another version is the Emperor cages the Nightingale and it dies of heartbreak longing for home :D
just saw this post and now im imagining it but as jing yuan & yanqing
bc remember guys: yanqing's species is unconfirmed. he could very well end up being a short-life species
jing yuan ending up conflicted bc hes so so glad that yanqing managed to defy all odds and live a long, healthy life despite the wars hes fought but also heartbroken to see his baby so seemingly quickly withered and on death's bed
he was screwed from the start. he either buried yanqing in a starskiff, had nothing left of him to bury, or was buried himself. this kind of ending just twists the knife a bit, a realization that even the best case scenario would be a gut punch
so i opened youtube and got hit with a comic of a swan dying of heartbreak after its partner left it after a kid threw a brick at their nest and broke almost all of their eyes
so naturally my brain went:
swan -> Lohengrin -> Lohen -> rabbits -> swans can die of heartbreak & rabbits can die of fright -> Lohen maybe internally very prone to having extreme emotions and so focuses on joy to avoid the others being just as explosive?
hes so expressive about how much he enjoys violence to the point his kit is "he gains joy from hitting shit" but once it turns into something like sorrow or fear...
would he be particularly sensitive to those? would he go out of his way to gaslight himself into never believing hes sad or scared in any given situation? would he let himself be upset but never express it or make it visible? look at people with an emotionless deadpan while admitting his emotions so now people arent sure if hes serious or not?
ugh... istg if he turns out to be a child soldier... it will mean i truly cant escape em turns to Yanqing Mordred Lilia
back to my usual shit bc i almost forgot about this thought but then i saw disaster-remorse's name and i suddenly remembered about it so thx for existing buddy :3
(and congrats i now associate you with lohen analysis o7)
earlier today i saw a comment that referring to that one best friend guy in the giant robot from code: geass saying "he has the moral compass of a russian roulette wheel" and naturally this made me think of Lohen
except... im not sure if this rlly applies to him all that much
bc yeah, lohen's morals are pretty grey compared to your standard nice ppl chars, but the line suggests more about a constant and random change in morals and i dont know if lohen's morals change if at all. in fact, his mindset seems very consistent and straightforward
murder is okay, become the strongest, be in control, kill monsters and criminals
scare children as discipline, probe varka's limits, put knights through rigorous training, roofie subordinates as a test
yeah he is very morally dubious, but idk if his moral compass is trully the roulette wheel he weaponizes. it feels more like,
BRUH I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO GO TO BED BUT THEN WHILE DOING FINAL SCROLLS I HEARD THE SONG "RUN RABBIT" BY MOLLIE ELIZABETH FOR THE FIRST TIME AND OMG THE LOHEN WORMS
THE LOHEN WORMS ARE WORMING
SPOILERS FOR LOHEN'S STORY QUEST AND CHAR STORIESOIAHSGSLNG
(Note: if you actually read all of this pls yap to me in either comments/reblogs/dms about lohen if you feel up to it i am going INSANE I NEED TO YAP ABOUT THIS STUPID RABBIT GRRRRRRR)
(also this is long as FUCK be ready for a lot of reading click at your own risk)
ok rabbit association aside
im gonna go through the song line by line bc my mind is racing rn and i need some semblance of organization or i will go INSANE
You best be bashed around the bush once or twice
Before you get to taste the finer life
this feels like the inevitability of Lohen going stircrazy, because while we can blame everything on the kidnapping incident his character stories make clear that it's less the kidnapping part itself (altho its def important) but more the incident part
he is an arrow eagerly waiting to fly, he just had to be launched and the kidnapping ended up being the trigger
he was already dissatisfied with his mundane life even before the incident
and if the kidnapping is the first "bashing around the bush", his fight with Rerir can be considered the second
My mother taught me, gotta just survive
edit: this can also be related to the phrase "pain is the best teacher"
this can be considered what he was taught growing up
we know from his char stories that he was raised devoutly, to believe both in Barbatos but in the domestic routine his family lives by
no need to try and find more to "live", when he could be content just "surviving" just fine. no need to look for more to life when he could live quiety in Dornman Port just like his ancestors, making bows getting married settling down with kids and passing on their traditions
but in a certain light, one could also consider how he lives now to just be "surviving". it is a priority of his, after all. to survive long enough to become strong, he lives his life like being strong is the only survival that matters. that if he is weak, he might as well be dead
Put on a smile, just find the vice
one could joke that the 5th company's new motto to danger is "just find the vice (captain)"
one could also consider this Lohen's battle style: find the source of the problem and kill it
it reminds me of an sao abridged line: "thank you for showing me that there's still a part of me that can feel like this. Because now that I know where to find it, I've killed it forever."
most of Lohen's expressions involve him smiling in fact. it's almost like his default expression. when life is hard, put on a smile. when life is soft, put on a smile. when life is good, put on a smile. when life gives you lemons, put on a smile
funny enough this sentiment is also found in Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, who goes as far to say "you are never fully dressed without a smile"
because smiling gives a sense of control, something that Lohen longs for desperately. it gives an impression of power, like he still has some hold over the situation
Don't hate the girl, just hate the crime
don't hate Lohen, just hate your guillibility
don't hate Rerir, just hate your slowness, weakness, powerlessness... mortality
don't hate Eroch, just hate your and your family's inability and refusal to fight back
when Rerir is brought up, Lohen takes less issue with the man himself and more what his defeat at his hands means about himself. when he brings up Eroch, he jokes that he could have used a beating but also notes that he took a wrong turn in life. a turn he himself almost took. he finds faults, but especially in himself
don't hate Lohen, just hate his uselessness
Oh, forgive me Lord,
Oh, I'm a good girl
I've never hurt a fly,
But I've got walls to climb
aaand here's the first part of the chorus
we're getting there...
now something noted about Lohen is that he is surprisingly religious. once again, he prayed with his family daily and his fallen vl is "wind... tell me why"
what's interesting is that he says "wind"; he doesn't call his god by name like some others, or even refer to him as a god/archon
he calls to the wind, and in his final moments asks: why?
this could be a lot of different questions, either separately or all together: why was i too weak that day? why didn't we ever fight back? why was i taken? why couldn't i escape on my own? why am i still weak? why am i dying like this? why don't you answer my prayers?
the second line feels like his child self committing to what he's about to do, maybe just as his hands grab the latch to his window. at that point, he truly hasn't hurt anyone and yet at the same time he can't say he doesn't know violence. even without doing it himself, he has witnessed violence. he was a victim to it. and now, he has resolved to using it as a means despite his hesitation and inexperience because he's "got walls to climb"
he has places to go, monsters to defeat, power and control to take back by force
it feels like escalation, each time he climbs a new hurdle, each time he has to sacrifice a piece of himself until he's made himself into someone nigh unrecognizable compared to who he was before.
"i've never hurt a fly"
"i've never hurt a monster"
"i've never hurt a person"
"i've never killed anyone"
"i've never killed an innocent"
and, can he be forgiven for this?
if Barbatos is truly out there, will he be punished for this?
(that line was inspired by an oc of mine btw lol mmm yummy religious trauma i say as a religious person)
and yet now, all he can do is ask for forgiveness because forgiveness is easier than permission. it's all he can say now to his god as he keeps taking one step after the other into dubious territory
Oh, forgive me Lord,
Oh, a minor chord
You put me in this house,
I had to claw right out
if the "minor chord" is his trauma then "minor" is certainly both a way to describe it and a way he'd describe it bc i do not consider this man above downplaying his own pain or shrug and say to both himself and everyone else that he enjoys it anyway
also this is definitely him fighting and working his way out of every situation he can right?
put in a kidnapping, prepared to cut his way out with a rope only to be saved by knights
put in a house, then slips out of it armed with a bow and failed arrows
put in a situation where just monsters isn't enough anymore, then gets Cyrus to help him become an adventurer to take on more foes
put in a job that just doesn't satisfy his needs anymore, then Adorno comes and helps him become a knight
put on an expedition, just for Rerir to kick his ass and force him to retreat and get sent home
he keeps desperately trying to claw his way out of situations on his own, but sometimes they're just more than he can handle
sometimes as others are trying to help him by pulling him back, they are the ones he are trying to claw his way away from
ironically the only time he was put somewhere and immediately try to escape was when his father hid him in the carriage, and that led to him being abducted
wow that surely isn't related to his fight reaction/sar
Run rabbit, run rabid
Gift granted you've gone rancid
Run rabbit, run rabid
Walls padded, drinking acid
so this is definitely him embracing that if he wants power he's going to have to take extreme measures right?
"run rabbit" is a phrase typically associated with running away, but in Lohen's case it's "run rabid", to run TOWARDS danger. to run RAMPANT.
and yet, he's still running, because what else are rabbits good for?
"gift granted youve gone rancid" feels like when the first nail got hammered into his coffin. the first kill that sealed his fate. he got the gift he wanted, the power to defeat a monster, at the cost of whatever was left of his childhood innocence
he couldn't be considered a normal little kid anymore from that moment on
and as he continued down this path, going further and further "rancid", he started to isolate himself. "walls padded" is both associated with asylums but also with muffling sound
he's starting to stray into "crazy" territory, and he's pulling away from others along the way. his "gift" is a padded wall in that overtime he's becoming strong enough to be hurt less, it's helping to protect him. but at the same time, the padded walls are also muffling his connections both ways. any concern from others is turned into white noise, and any cries for help on his end suffer from the same fate
people could be trying to express worry for his sake, and he'd brush it off as nagging
he could be breaking down sobbing, and he'd be brushed off as crazy
drinking acid is different from drinking poison
the poison burns metaphorically
the acid burns literally
either way, it kills you from the inside out. and it's your fault. you drank it. it's killing you because you picked it up and gave it a passage into your body
Lohen did this to himself
I never knew another way of life
My baby brain collected all the strife
lohen went from living 0 to 100
at the beginning of his life he was only ever exposed to things in a controlled, safe environment by his parents
he saw bows, but never how to use them. he follows his family's teachings obediently like a good boy, praying with them and learning their way of life. he only ever questioned it once, and then never again after it was waved off
he never knew violence, so when he encountered it for the first time that fateful night he fixated on it so damn hard. he LATCHED onto the concept of power, and now it has become an obsession that drives almost all of his actions
he now no longer knows any other way of life than the one he lives now, full of strife. even doing domestic tasks drains him, unsure how to live in a time of peace when he's so used to danger at any and every corner
My father told me gotta just survive
You drink the poison got to pay the price
this pulls back to my earlier points about the poison and his parents teachings
they paid the price for being too used to their peaceful routine with Lohen's kidnapping, they then paid the price for not paying enough attention (i won't accuse them of being neglectful just yet) to their son with the sudden confession that he'd been going off fighting every single night and they never noticed, then Lohen paid the price for his strength and power through pain and struggle
as he tells Theodore, he accepted the risks of failure. he made his bed, and he is prepared to lay down with dogs and wake up with fleas
he weighs his options, tells himself he is prepared for whatever comes with his actions. he very likely was prepared for exile or even execution for being caught doing experiments, especially after Adorno died as a result, because why wouldn't they kill him for being a traitor? Varka himself "got Eroch to kill himself" for the same 10 years ago. why wouldn't he pay that same price?
he knew this, and he did it anyways. he survived thus far, he can survive the consequences of his actions
What does not kill you
Never repairs
What does not kill you
Gives you never ending nightmares
LAST SECTION BC THE REST OF THE SONG IS REPEATS AND CHORUS WOOO I CAN ALMOST SLEEP SOON
ekhem
yeah this is just Lohen in a nutshell
everything he goes through, everything he does to himself, he does it because it makes him stronger, tougher, smarter, faster
but at the same time, he doesn't give himself the time and processing to let those injuries heal before charging in next. we hear from him that not too long ago he'd been heavily wounded by Rerir, and when he joins everyone in the old lab there's still Ursa serum in him from being a test subject
it didn't kill him, but it didn't heal either
his trauma was not enough to kill him, but it definitely haunts him in his entirity
and it certainly still haunts him even now
WOW THAT WAS LONG AS FUCK AWGIOHGW THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY READ THROUGH ALL OF THIS IVE BEEN BRAINROTTING LOHEN SO HARD EVER SINCE HE SHOWED UP ON MY FYP I KEEP DRAWING AND PAINTING HIM AND REFRESHING HIS AO3 PAGE EVERY SINGLE DAY AND UUUGGHHOIAGNASOGS
its past midnight... i've been writing for over an hour...
gonna sleep... will probably think about him again in the morning... gn...
edit: also wanted to add that the song in general is about trying to escape trauma <3
spoilers for lohen's story quest and char stories stuff
ive been rlly confused for a while with ppl saying Lohen has "loving parents" bc theyve never come across to me as such at all at least from what ive read about them
i mean yeah theyre alive. yeah he has both of them. yeah they dont absolutely hate his guts and want him to die. but... they feel condescending(?) to me in a way?
maybe im projecting but it feels like they dont rlly respect him nor his independence in a way
lohen didnt trust them enough to talk to them about his decisions until he got another adult with authority on his side. and even then they went behind his back to get Adorno to try to talk him out of his decisions. after the kidnapping, they double down on keeping him close but also somehow have no idea of him sneaking out of the house every night to kill monsters enough that he becomes a local rumor.
for fucks sake, they decided his life for him from the moment he was born. that he would be a bowmaker then have a family to continue the family legacy. his first toy was a bow. this is the equivalent of giving a kid toy stethoscopes and scalpels to get them to be a doctor or dolls and babies to get them to be a parent. its exposing them to what the parents want them to do to try and influence their decisions. its manipulation without force or explicit statements to feign freedom of choice
lohens parents dont feel "loving" to me. they feel real. and real parents arent always good. they care about him obviously, but thats the bare minimum of parenting.
lohen doesnt talk about his family. he doesnt mention seeing or visiting his parents. the last we know of them interacting, they disapproved of his choices and wanted him to stay home and follow the path they made for him. and... it feels familiar.
the disappointed parents who just barely and begrudgingly tolerate their kids choices but at the same time hope for and long for the day they "realize their mistakes" and come back and do what they wanted bc "parents know better" and "this is for the best". the parents who disapprove of their kids partners and try to whisper about their flaws while wink wink nudge nudging when their friend's successful kid is around. the parents that pretend to be proud while purposely telling everyone about the worst and most embarrassing aspects of their kids chosen path. the parents that go "look can you at least not do that in public?" because they love them enough not to cuss them out but not more than they are ashamed of them
honestly... this just might be another way Lohen is just super relatable. he doesnt shit talk his parents, but he doesnt talk about them in general. theyre just... there. waiting for him to come home on his knees and wail you were right all along im sorry for being a bad son please forgive me for my mistake of ever wanting anything more than what you gave me im grateful that youd overlook my sin of leaving to be a knight when i should have just made bows like you wanted me to even though it doesnt make him happy.
it NEVER made him happy. he NEVER wanted to make bows, but apparently even asking how to use them gets brushed off.
lohens parents are alive. but they might as well be dead.
