Jun 7
At da tractor supply store listening to old men bitch about their wives
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At da tractor supply store listening to old men bitch about their wives
he's the asshole
i (afab) know a guy, not so long but we are kinda (?) close, like physical intimacy level of close. not dating. we usually meet kinda often even if there are actual more important tasks to take care of instead of having fun. suddenly he texts that he will not be available (offline) for several weeks since his friend (afab) comes to town but said that i can plan some trip ideas for a later date?? the town is absolutely not that interesting to be touring it for several weeks straight not in a big company and it doesn't make sense time management wise to be unavailable for a simple meet up outside or a trip to some touristy place for so long. moreover, i brought my friends on our meetings several times already, it would be an option too? the friend is well acquainted with the lifestyle of the city as well. fully can't understand this situation, either it's 1. a lie in one way or another, 2. a bad way to describe the situation (bad phrasing on his side) or 3. the friend is extremely introverted and needs constant attention?. i would assume the first option with most guys but this one seems kinda genuine and actually appreciates human connection (hopefully not in a way that's too overboard huh). it's not like it was unexpectable or that we have any obligations to each other but the situation and the inability to understand it fucked me up so badly. would i be the asshole for confronting him (probably in an extremely emotionally charged and not a well-paced way) about the ambiguity of this later, offline? i had some time for questions or confrontations online but i kinda didn't come up with anything coz it just seemed frustrating at first and then i just felt like i wouldn't be able to talk about this in a way that wouldn't be constant emotional dumping and blaming (which suits the way how badly i feel but doesn't really suit our relationships since we don't have any obligations to each other and i wasn't even planning on actually dating). so i kinda missed that civil confrontation window, would only be able to clash out on him after several weeks but would i be the asshole for doing so? if you have other opinions pls share, sorry for this heterosexual crap but it would be nice to hear more ppl's views!
Would anon be the asshole?
YWBTA (you would be the asshole)
YWNBTA (you would NOT be the asshole)
JAH (justified asshole)
ESH (everyone sucks here)
NAH (no assholes here)
INFO (more information needed)
am i teh asshole for tryin to help a coworker move on from her shitty situationship? mai (12, purp, alternian) workplace (writing office) haz a really open structure n a lot of positive interpersonal energy, we all go 2 each others desks n stuff to chat n hang out, plus we're all working 2gether on a lotta stuff. so my coworker (10s, rustie, alternian 2) had a baaaaad situationship where she totes got ghosted out of no where n didnt get any closure. her aura was really dampening da workplace so another coworker (10s, cerulean, alternian ofc) asked me liek, "wat should we do :(" n i decided we gotta help her move on. well. liek. i tried everythings! tried therapy talk, tried romantic talk, tried spiritual talk, tried rationalizings, tried showing her theres other options, leik! FOR REALS! everything! i asked a dif dif coworker (10s too i think, jade, alternian ofc^2) told me that i need 2 back down or shes going 2 da big boss about it. i basically told her 2 step tf off bc helping some1 who feels depressed is a GOOD thing! but now cerulean coworker is saying we need 2 back off 2, n i dont agree! + when i dmd a close friend (also purple) she said dat NOT helping her move on will get me HAUNTED bc when my rust coworker diez from sadness itll b MY fault. now i feel totes divided n confused... am i rlly an asshole 4 wanting 2 help someone? :(
♱✮☾✮♱ AITA ♱✮☾✮♱
You're The Asshole
Coworkers Are The Assholes
Everybody Sucks Here
Only The Ghoster Sucks
Need More Info
13,454 votes and 5,487 comments so far on Reddit
I can't believe I am saying this but I hope she divorces him
Plural Am I The Asshole
Hello, and welcome to plural aita, for anyone who identifies as plural to ask their burning questions about if they are, in fact, the asshole. Every post will have a poll to decide if the verdict!
Poll Guide
YTA = You’re the asshole NTA = Not the asshole (the other party is) JAH = Justified asshole (you’re an asshole, but like, I get it) NAH = No assholes here (everyone is some level of justified) ESH = Everyone sucks here (you’re all assholes) INFO = Not enough information to judge
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No endogenic vs traumagenic discourse
No fake-claiming
No graphic descriptions of abuse
No "AITA for feeling/thinking [blank]" asks. Instead consider what actions you want to take based on those feelings or thoughts. Don't be scared; the anon toggle is your friend.
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AITA for adopting one of my brother's daughters while he's in a coma?
And yes, "one of" because he had two daughters. But! In my defense, I honestly never even knew the second one (20F) was alive. I had vaguely known about her, but she was the older sister and we'd never even spoken. She was never in the picture... until like three days ago.
Let me explain. My brother (45M) and I (44M) have been estranged for a long time. We used to be close, but politics got between us and we fought. It was bad, I'm not going to deny that. Once he gave me a black eye, it got super infected and never healed right. I used to hate him. Situations change though, and we finally had a chance for a reunion. All things considered, I was really looking forward to it.
Then everything went to shit. I'm not going to get into it but there was a huge fire—it was a freak accident, and before you ask, no I had nothing to do with it—and my brother and all his kids got trapped in a collapsing building. In the aftermath, the only ones I could find were my brother, and the girl who's now my daughter (now 17F). My brother was hurt really bad, though. He's been in a coma since then. Honestly I'm not sure if he'll ever wake up, but his doctor is a friend of mine and I've made sure they don't pull the plug. My brother's a fighter; I'm sure he wouldn't want that.
But after the accident... His daughter was there, all alone. Basically orphaned, no other family to speak of. Did I have my brother's permission? No. Did I legally have the right to adopt? Probably, I didn't actually take it in front of judge. I was all she had. I've raised her as my own daughter, I love her like my own daughter. She's had a number of mental health issues that I don't want to get into rn, but I've been supportive all the way, and while I'm unmarried, my pharmaceutical company does well enough that I can get her everything she needs.
Here's the issue, though. Remember that other daughter? She just showed up out of the blue, all grown now, and acts like I'm some terrible person for stealing her kid sister. Where was she, you ask? The day after the fire, she went and landed herself in prison. She's a real character—anger issues, trouble with the law going back to childhood, the whole nine yards—but boy does she think I'm The Asshole! Like, I was there for your sister, where the hell were you? Oh yeah, in fucking prison. (Sorry if this is coming across as unsympathetic. It's literally the first time I've talked with her face-to-face and she accuses me of being a groomer. She has this whole victim complex where she's convinced I'm the reason for everything that went wrong with her life). What's worst is, I think my daughter's starting to believe her.
Soon I'll be running for political office, and this older sister is coming in and trying to tear my family apart with her bear hands. She even got a cop* to start investigating my pharmaceutical company! (*I'm pretty sure she's fucking the cop. Like I said, she's a real piece of work.) Now a city council member got my main factory shut down, my business partners are calling for my head, this whole situation is exacerbating my daughter's psychosis, and I'm about at my limit. All because I dared to be a decent father.
Tldr: My estranged brother's in a coma, so I took in one of his daughters, and now the daughter I didn't adopt is calling me a monster. What do you think fellow Zaunites, AITA?