❧ Synopsis: In your heart you knew you still loved Yuto but you just couldn’t handle being his second- or even third priority. After an argument over your feelings, you left your shared apartment in a rage. Now was the make or break moment in your relationship.
❧ Tag list: @wooya1224
❧ A/N: sorry to start out with a sad one lmao the next one won’t be as angsty. Also I highly recommend listening to Fool by Winner while reading this
~※ Love or Take Masterlist ※~
“I can’t keep doing this, Yuto!”
The room was silent. Your words bounced through the room and echoed in your head. Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes threatening to spill down your face. Yuto stared at you, his eyes widened due to your outburst. Yes, it came out a bit harsher than you intended but you were trying to get him to see- to understand you were hurting.
You’d spent weeks going to bed alone and waking up alone without a sign of your boyfriend. You understood how demanding his career was and how dedicated he was but you were starting to feel like his second or third priority. You felt like an accessory. It was infuriating and you were at your breaking point.
“Y/N please-”
“What am I to you?” you snapped, “Am I just a trophy? Some kind of prize? Because I certainly don’t feel like your partner!”
Yuto was speechless. He wanted so desperately to say something but your words stunned him. You could feel so many emotions bubbling up in you- mostly anger.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
You turned away and made your way to the door. You grabbed your jacket and left. You finally let the tears flow freely down your face as you headed down the street. You didn’t know where you were going to go but you just needed to get away.
Yuto stayed frozen in the middle of the living room trying to process everything. None of this felt real. He was sure he was in the middle of a dream right now. He just couldn’t believe the person he loved so much and held so close to his heart just walked out on him. Seeing you so hurt, because of him no less, absolutely broke his heart. His mind finally kicked into overdrive and he ran out of the house. He ran after you.
You walked all the way to a park about a half mile down the road. You don’t quite know how you ended up here but this is where your feet brought you. Memories of all the times you spent in this little neighborhood park with Yuto flooded your head. Memories of the time you played on the swings, the picnic you had on your anniversary, the night you stayed out until it was dark so you could watch the stars. The tears spilled down your face faster.
“Y/N!”
You didn’t even have to turn your head to hear Yuto running towards you. His footsteps coming closer and closer echoed in your ears. He grabbed your wrist before you had a chance to leave.
“Y/N,” he panted
“What do you want?” you sneered as you turned to face him
“You’re the sun.”
“What?”
“You’re the sun,” he breathed heavily, “You’re the sun and the stars. You’re the light in my life. You’re what keeps me grounded. You’re my forever.”
You tried to swallow the lump forming in your throat by his sudden confession. You could see Yuto’s eyes glistening like he was about to cry himself. Your expression softened.
“I’m so sorry,” he choked out, “I don’t want this to be our end, please.”
You were silent. Your heart ached seeing him in such distress. You looked down at the hand wrapped around your wrist. You pulled your arm out of his grasp. His face visibly fell at your actions. You looked back up at him.
“If you could take me back-”
Your arms wrapped around his torso tightly interrupting him. You buried your face in his chest letting your fresh tears soak his shirt. Yuto immediately enveloped you with his arms as if he was shielding you from the world. He held you tightly against him, his head resting on the top of your head. He rubbed your back soothingly letting you cry it out. No words needed to be exchanged. You both knew you’d be alright.
s u m m a r y :: Yuto's phone dies as he's running late to meeting up with you.
w o r d c o u n t :: 722
a / n :: cross posted on ao3; my user name is the same on both!; i got this as a prompt for some speed writing practice, so i wrote this in maybe 30 minutes or so? anyways! please enjoy~
The streets of Seoul are remarkably slippery in the rain, and it takes everything he has not to slip and completely eat the pavement. The rain whips against his face as he dodges through the crowd, muttering half-hearted apologies as he goes. Yuto knows he needs to get to you soon, since his phone had died as soon as he had stepped into the downpour outside. He hadn’t expected it to rain so thoroughly today, and was just utterly ill-equipped to deal with this. His sneakers were soaked through, and squished with each step he took, his black clothes sticking to his lithe muscular frame, hair plastered up against the sides of his head haphazardly.
He still has a few blocks to go before he’d arrive at the place the two of you were supposed to meet up, so he grits his teeth and forces his legs to keep going.
You, on the other hand, were lost.
Yuto had asked you to meet him at a park in town, under a small pavilion so he could show you around. You had moved to Seoul from Tokyo not long ago, so you were still trying to figure things out. It helped to have a boyfriend who was familiar with the area. You had arrived early, dressed a little nicer than usual, and waited.
And waited.
Time creeped by slowly, and soon the time you had planned to meet your boyfriend came and went. Worried, you fired off a few texts to Yuto.
20:25:13 - I’m here~ I can’t wait to see you.
20:37:29 - Are you near?
20:51:11 - Yuto..?
No answer.
You attract more than a few passing glances, and a sense of fear starts to bubble up in your chest as you stand hopelessly lost in a town you don’t know while the rain falls down all around you. You lean on the edge of the railing surrounding the pavilion, searching the blurry figures in the rain for a familiar silhouette. Your heart speeds up in your chest, and your grip on the railing becomes more than a little painful. You close your eyes for a second to regain control of your breathing.
In. Out. In. Out.
Screw that.
You pull out your phone and check once more for any sign that he’s on his way. You know his work can get busy, and it wouldn’t be unlike him to lose track of time. Except, he was never one to forget important dates or times. He might leave a little late and be late to arrive, but he would always tell you. It’s been over 25 minutes since he was supposed to be here, and your worry was eating you alive. It was getting late, the sun had already set, and the storm was only getting worse. Where was he? Why wasn’t he responding?
You frantically looked for your boyfriend amongst the neon waterscape surrounding you, silently cursing the fact he enjoys wearing dark colors that would make him indistinguishable against the darkening streets. You sigh and lean your head down to rest on your hands, trying you best to stop tears from falling.
Suddenly, you are no longer on the ground. You exclaim, turning around in your assailant’s grasp to see your boyfriend’s smiling - and soaked - face. You cry out, letting the tears fall freely now as you latch onto him and softly pound against his chest. You let out sputtering non-sentences that gradually fade as you feel his arms tighten around you.
“I’m sorry I’m late babe, I was running late and when I went to tell you I realized my phone had died.”
You pull back from him enough to look into his eyes, and smile gently back at him. You plant a soft kiss on his lips, whispering, “Just don’t do that again, okay? You had me worried sick.”
He laughs, deep and rumbly, and you lean back into his hold. “I promise.”
You ‘humph’ at him, squeezing him one last time before pulling away and taking in his haggard appearance. You giggle a little bit before realizing he had inadvertently gotten you soaked as well. He seemed to realize this at the same time, eyes wide and trying to pull away from you before you could scold him for ruining your dress.
WARNINGS: Mentions of skin picking and blood, angst ! major trigger warning, please be careful !!
Pairing: Roommate!Yuto x reader
Summary: your skin-picking habit worries Yuto and he comforts you.
[a/n]: i’ve been feeling all kinds of ways lately (because of exams and other things) and i wanted to write this to help myself out... i’m really unsure about posting it because it’s not my usual wave but i thought maybe someone else might benefit from it? ahh i don’t know i’m sorry, but i hope everyone is doing okay <3
[a more recent a/n]: this has been in my drafts for a while and i’m finally posting it now that exams are done :) i guess i feel a bit better now !
Your fingertips were red and warm; your cuticles were raw and oozing blood. There were no band-aids around, so you had to constantly wipe the blood with toilet roll. At your desk, you were a mess, eyes becoming blurry as they filled with tears. Your fingers burned with pain, but it was a comforting feeling. Somehow, skin-picking helped you deal with feelings of anxiousness.
You looked around the room at the mess you had made: scrunched up, bloody toilet roll lying at the floor around your waste bin - your attempts to throw them in had failed. The notes at your desk shimmered with red droplets and you were so mad at yourself for having ‘relapsed,’ since you told yourself several times that you were going to cut this habit off for good.
You had always done a good job of hiding your habit from those around you, saying the band-aids on your fingers were from clumsy mistakes while cooking. Even your roommate Yuto didn’t question you.
You checked the time and noticed that it was 5:30pm - Yuto would be coming back from his classes soon. Pushing back in your chair, you got up to clean the mess you’d made - until you heard the door creak open behind you.
“[y/n], I’m sorry to barge in your room but I-” you heard Yuto mumble before his eyes finally found you in your dark bedroom. His eyes moved from you to your desk, widening in shock.
“Yuto, I can explain-” you started.
“What is this?” he asked sharply, walking up to your desk and looking at the blood everywhere. He glared at the toilet roll before his eyes met your hands - still full of blood.
“I-” you started again, only to be cut off once more.
“Did you do this to yourself?” he asked, taking both of your hands in his and turning them over to look at them.
“Yuto it’s not what it looks like,” you whimpered, your tears finally leaving your eyes.
“What is this then, hm? To me it looks like you’ve hurt yourself and that’s not okay with me,” he stated, his tone of voice slightly louder than before.
He sighed before ripping off a long piece of toilet roll and wrapping it around your hands. Then, he gently held your toilet-roll-covered hands and guided you to the bathroom, where he turned on the cold water tap, not wanting to burn your already hurt fingers.
Removing the toilet roll, you saw him bite his lip and blink several times, as if holding back tears.
“Yuto, it’s okay, I can do this myself-”
“Please just let me do this for you,” he said abruptly.
He slowly guided your hands under the tap and watched your reaction carefully. You tried not to wince too hard, worried you would upset him, so you bit your lip to hold your feelings in.
“I know it hurts,” he said, gently washing away the blood from you hands, “but we need to clean your hands before we do anything else.”
He tried to walk you to where the first-aid cabinet was, but even after having washed them, your fingertips were still bleeding. So Yuto suggested you wait in the bathroom while he searched for band-aids.
When he returned with them, he swiftly and gently placed one around each of your fingertips, hiding and protecting the cuts. After finishing, he gently held both of your hands in his again and guided you to the couch in the small living room. He sat down next to you and wiped your tears with his thumb as you looked down and avoided his eyes.
“Do you not know how worried I’ve been every time I see band-aids around your fingers? But I trusted you and thought it really was just you being clumsy while cooking. Is this what you’ve been doing the entire time?”
When you silently nodded, he sighed.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. Now that I know, I’m going to take even better care of you,” He said, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.
“I swear I only do it when I’m anxious-”
“Then what am I here for, hm? How come you always let me talk to you but you never talk to me?” He moved the hair out of your eyes and lifted your chin up so you would look at him.
“Whenever you’re anxious, whenever you feel like doing this again, come to my room. Shout my name. If I’m not here, call me and I will answer right away, okay? Don’t go through these things alone,” he explained, his face full of genuine concern.
“Whenever you want to do these things, hold my hand instead. You can squeeze it, bite it, dig your nails into it instead of your own hand, okay?”
“I don’t want to do that-”
“I know you don’t,” Yuto said. “So just hold my hand, okay? Just hold my hand.”
Yuto + 16. (angst) “Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?”
You wished you wouldn’t have to go home today, you really didn’t feel like explaining to your boyfriend how you got in this state. You just wanted to sleep and rest until the pain faded away along with the unpleasant memory. However, not being home in time would just make him worry more and what you were trying to achieve was the opposite of that.
Maybe if you opened the door very quietly and sneaked into the bedroom with the speed of light then pulled the covers on yourself pretending to have fallen asleep immediately, you would be able to avoid looking at his gaze full of sadness and worry even if only for a night.
Unfortunately, things rarely go the way you planned. If they were, you wouldn’t be in this state in the first place. Right at the moment that you closed the door and turned around, you stood face to face with Yuto.
“Hi, you came home pretty late- what happened to you?” You could see as his gaze turned serious in a second and his whole body froze with shock.
You hung your head low, your hair casting shadows on your face, making it more difficult to see what you were hiding clearly.
“It’s nothing, don’t worry,” you answered but of course, Yuto wasn’t satisfied with this kind of response.
“Are you hurt?”
“No.”
“Then why are there bruises all over your face?”
You stayed quiet as you heard him slowly walking closer to you and when you looked up, he was right in front of you. The look in his eyes was so genuinely concerned and caring that you almost teared up. You let out a shaky breath before you began to explain what happened.
You just let out everything you intended on keeping to yourself, starting from how you were on your way home when you ran into those girls from your college, how they had always seemed to dislike you and make fun of you whenever they had the chance. How they called you names but you just let them because you didn’t care about those things. How one of them grabbed you, took the bracelet Yuto gave you for your birthday and ripped it right in front of your eyes. How that was the one thing you absolutely couldn’t let them get away with and how the fight started. And finally, how three guys found you and put an end to the fight.
Yuto listened to your story with wide eyes, a horrified expression on his face. He only let go of the breath he was holding when you finished speaking and hugged you tightly. A sense of safety and warmth rushed through your whole body and you started trembling, silent sobs and apologies escaping your lips.
You were sorry for making him worry, for losing the present he gave you and for wanting to keep it a secret from him. You were just so sorry and so thankful for him.
“No need to apologize,” he said, pulling away only to look into your eyes as he carefully caressed your face. “I can buy you another bracelet anytime. I’m just happy that you’re safe.”
A/N: the first of the series! I really really enjoyed writing this, I love this series so much already and cant wait for you guys to read the rest:) the next fic I’m dropping will be *drumroll* Slytherin!Shinwon x Reader, yasss (hiss hiss bitch) heart eyes for days for me.
Word Count: 6.4k
Genre: fluff/angst
Warnings: insecure MC, teenage angst, mentions of injury, said injury described in detail, mentions of a dead pet, nothing too bad, some curse words :)
Moodboard|Masterlist
*
Ravenclaw Common Room// 1:37AM// October 15th
The ravenclaw common room was silent, save for the occasional turn of a page or the crackling fire that was close to dying out, the last thing keeping the winter chill out and helping Y/N get sleepy at a time like this. She’d been up all night, reading books and preparing for the winter constellations that were so close she could taste them, sleep was the last thing on her mind and she knew she’d regret it in the morning. She kept telling herself she’d use her free period to take a nap, her morning class was easy she could just sleep, she technically didn’t have to study for her N.E.W.T.s if she just decided to change her career when it was all said and done.
Y/n was in the middle of stressing over her sudden train of thought, not even noticing the boy who had snuck right past her in the room before he was almost out of sight, “Hey!” She hissed, dropping her books when she jumped off of her chair, “What are you doing out so...late”
Her voice died in her throat when he turned around, the look on his face was something that truly terrified her, mostly because he was scowling but still managed to look handsome at the same time. He was also out of uniform, looking like he’d wandered in off of the street, she swallowed hard as she struggled to speak. Y/n was a prefect after all, this was her job, make sure no one was sneaking around while being able to express her bossy tendencies. She just had a bit of a weak spot when it came to him.
Adachi Yuto was a Seventh Year student like herself, oddly quiet and ridiculously smart, she’d had a stupid crush on him ever since their second year when he’d conjured butterflies in the courtyard on a warm spring day. Her stomach flipped just thinking about it, but she shook it off as she waited for him to answer.
“I was...busy” he mumbled, his voice barely audible as she raised an eyebrow at him and placed her hands on her hips. Yuto held in a laugh, wondering if y/n did this to every student who came in late or if he was a special case. He wasn’t even mad that she’d caught him, he’d snuck past her too many times that he’d begun to wonder just what she’d do if she saw him. He’d seen her chew out first years in the hallway like she was their mother, sending them straight to the headmaster crying, she was scary for a girl. And Yuto wasn’t scared of much, just the dark, and y/n.
“Busy?” She asked, a sharp and demanding tone in her voice as she pushed her level of authority to the last line. She was just being nosy because she’d never actually had the chance to talk to him and she wanted to impress him. Which was stupid, she knew this, but she couldn’t help it, “What exactly were you doing. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t report you right now”
Yuto shrugged, narrowing his eyes as he wondered if she knew how red her face was. He would say anything to make her shut up, he was tired and cold and wanted to go to bed, he studied the dying fire and her books on the floor before sighing. He waved a hand through the air, y/n’s eyes widening when one of her books hit her on the hip on its way to the table beside her beloved chair, “You should go to bed. It’s late”
“You’re-“ y/n had already begun to fuss but he was gone before she could say anything. She growled in frustration, ignoring the pounding in her heart and stupid butterflies in her stomach. This wasn’t over, she would threaten him in the morning if all he was going to do was ignore her, but right now she had books to read.
Yuto wasn’t impressed, far from it, he knew y/n was bossy and annoying but he didn’t expect to kind of like it. No one really talked to him, in return he didn’t talk to anyone, he just shut up and did his work. He got the sense that people were afraid of him and that was nice and all, just a bit lonely, that’s why he spent most of his time in the astronomy tower scaring away couples so he could look at the stars. He tossed the book he’d ‘borrowed’ from y/n’s pile onto his nightstand noisily, not even waking his peers before crashing into bed and grabbing his wand.
He didn’t know y/n liked stars, that made him like her a little bit more, but not too much. She seemed really into her book when he walked in, her nose buried in the pages as she read a bit too quickly than he thought was normal. He assumed she was some sort of genius, getting tremendous scores on her O.W.L.s and on a good path to becoming an auror like she’d been saying since she got to this damn school. Yuto dreamed of becoming an auror as well, just quietly, maybe he’d be more motivated once he got his head out of the clouds.
“Black Holes And Time Warps? Freak” he whispered, holding his wand in his mouth as he turned the page of her book and read through the first page. He’d never read this book before, and assumed it wasn’t from the library because it was a muggle author and there was a lot of science involved. He appreciated the new point of view, finishing the book as the sun came up and curling up into bed grumpily when his roommate Jinho got up early to yell about quidditch practice. Quidditch was stupid, maybe he should spend more time studying instead of riding a broom. But he was lucky Jinho wasn’t the prefect on duty last night, he would have gotten his ass chewed out in front of the whole dorm if he’d caught him. Which is why he only snuck out on the nights y/n was on duty, it was one of the only times he saw her anyways, not that it mattered.
*
*
Potions Class// 9:17AM//October 15th
Y/n was up bright and early, hoping to catch a glimpse of Yuto after her first class in the morning, knowing this was around the time he’d be finishing up Charms. Not that she had planned this all night while she lay in bed, it was just a sudden thought she’d had after class when she realized she really wanted to know what he’d been doing last night. She didn’t really want to get her hopes up but was a bit disappointed when she didn’t see him, going back to the dorm for a nap when she heard a noise and glanced around the room, admittedly getting a bit scared. She kicked her shoes off before sitting on her bed, getting comfy before she heard a tapping noise and her eyes shot to the window. There was a huge black bird in her window and it was staring straight at her with big pretty eyes, trusting eyes, she got up to let it in and it just dropped a book onto her floor before perching on the window sill.
“Where’d you come from? Is this my book?” She asked softly, petting the owl who leaned into her touch with a chirp, “wait there a second”
She ran to her desk and pulled out a treat she’d saved for her own owl, wanting to thank the bird for returning her book from an unknown source. It flew off after devouring the treat, y/n smiled after it before remembering her book and opening it absentmindedly. Her eyes bugged out of her head when she found words etched into the first page, a simple ‘thanks, Yuto’ written in big bold letters making her let out a frustrated scream.
*
*
Great Hall// Dinner time// October 15th
Yuto was trying to ignore his peers talks about a party they’d had the previous weekend, trying to drink his pumpkin juice in peace when a loud slam made the whole hall go silent. He was almost afraid to look, feeling hot breath on the back of his neck and already smelling y/n’s nice perfume to know he wasn’t about to get his ass beat by the slytherin he’d hexed in the restroom this morning.
“Did you write on my book?!” She hissed, her book appearing in front of him on the page he’d thanked her on. He wondered why she didn’t like it, he said thank you, what was wrong with that? Maybe he should have written it on the back instead, that did look a bit like he’d signed an autograph or something.
“Y-you didn’t like it?” He asked, feeling her shove him over as she positioned herself between him and a Sixth Year who had been staring at him all dinner. He could feel everyone’s eyes on them and it made him a bit anxious, but her angry eyes were the only thing he could focus on and the stirring in his stomach confused him.
“The ink bled through the first six pages. This is my favorite book! When did you even take it?! I’m going to tell on you!” She hissed childishly, making him laugh a bit. Y/n’s cheeks went red again, a look he realized he kind of liked on her, Yuto just sighed as he thought of a way to fix this. He wasn’t really good at this type of stuff, he was an only child for crying out loud and didn’t get out much, how was he supposed to make her feel better? He really wanted to.
“Uh, sorry? Can I like, make it up to you?”
Y/n’s eyes widened, the darkest crimson shade reaching her ears as her eyes suddenly dropped to the table, “it’s fine” she said, her voice barely a whisper as he grabbed onto his cup of pumpkin juice again and shrugged.
“Whatever then, it wasn’t even that bad” Yuto shrugged, enjoying the shriek that left her lips and narrowly dodging the book that was aimed right for his shoulder.
“I’m reporting you to the headmaster!”
Astronomy Tower// 12:56AM// October 20th
Yuto didn’t see y/n tonight, wondering if she was sick or something, kind of hoping she’d be there when he got back so he could bother her some more and sincerely hoping Jinho wasn’t waiting for him. The climb to the astronomy tower with a backpack full of books was annoying, almost as annoying as the chirping owl on his shoulder that had been carrying a letter for the last two days. He wasn’t quite sure when he’d send that one, the owl already knowing it was to go to y/n but not until Yuto said so. He was planning on drawing her a map of the stars, knowing her favorite constellation was Gemini but only because of the star Alhena. He’d heard her talking about it in DADA before the professor had told her to shut up and focus. She was really annoying sometimes.
“What are you doing up here?!” Someone asked, he nearly slipped on the last step and had to bend over to steady himself as he peered into the darkness. Two of his biggest fears in one place really unsettled him and seeing y/n leaning against the wall in pajamas was really weird. She looked like a housewife, he half expected her to have her hair up in those curler things. She looked angry to see him and he wondered what he ever did to her, he was going to say something snarky before his stupid owl flew off of his shoulders and towards her before he could protest.
“N-“
“Oh, hello again, I didn’t bring any treats with me this time. Does he not feed you? Want to come live with me?” Y/n asked gently, her h/c hair shining in my moonlight as Yuto shoved his hands in his pockets and rolled his eyes at the owl that was literally cooing at y/n.
“Your owl,” Yuto mumbled, his feet carrying to the spot right next to her as he glanced down at her, “it um...”
“Died. Yup. No one talks about it, but it was pretty sad, she was a good girl” y/n said quietly, rubbing his owls feathers gently as he managed to let out a small laugh.
“He really likes you”
He regret saying it almost as soon as the last word left his mouth, wishing his brain was in a bit more control sometimes when it came to her. He could see y/n blushing in the minimal light, she looked oddly nice right now and he wanted to throw himself down the stairs and go straight to bed. He got the sense y/n was ignoring him as she moved to the telescope, his owl perched on her shoulder as he remembered the letter and rushed to remove it before any accidents could happen. His hands brushed her shoulder and she jumped out of her own skin, bumping her head on the telescope and landing on her butt with a hiss, “thanks a lot!”
“I barely touched you” he muttered, shoving the letter in his pocket before bending down to see what she’d been looking at. He didn’t expect to not see Gemini right now, rolling his eyes a bit at how predictable she was but adjusting the scope a bit more to his liking anyways. He could hear y/n talking to his owl quietly as it’s wings flapped, wondering why he liked her more than he liked Yuto. Maybe he should ask her where to buy the treats she’d mentioned, the owl probably thought she’d feed him something extra special every time he saw her.
“What’s this? A love letter?” Y/n asked a bit teasingly, making Yuto make the same stupid mistake as her and hit his head on the telescope as he scrambled to see what she was talking about. She already had the letter open, her eyes scanning it’s contents as he reached for it instinctively. He knew y/n was fast, she’d been the Quidditch Seeker before her accident on the field, he made the stupid mistake of judging her reflexes and was now losing his balance.
He was sure he heard y/n’s bones crack underneath him, her nails digging holes into his damn shoulders as she wasted no time in shoving him off of her. He narrowly avoided a knee to the crotch as he caught his breath, staring at the ceiling as his heart beat too fast for comfort and y/n was complaining in his ear.
“Sorry”
*
*
Potions Class// 2:34PM// October 30th
Y/n was crying again, a potion gone wrong and too much yelling from the professor overwhelmed her and she admittedly couldn’t handle it. Yuto felt bad, he didn’t know what to say, but he felt bad. He knew her partner was useless, he probably handed her the wrong ingredients and caused the potion to overflow and damage nearly everything around it. Y/n was crying in the back of the room and Yuto couldn’t focus, his own perfect potion being left abandoned as he left his table and made his way to y/n.
“Hey. Your crying is distracting me” he whispered, sitting on the window sill next to her and offering y/n a tissue. He actually didn’t know what the tissue was doing in his robes and if it contained boogers or not but her sleeves were wet and gross and he couldn’t stand to see her continue to wipe her eyes with them.
“Why can’t I do anything right?” Y/n cried, burying her face in his shoulder as his hands twitched uncomfortably in his lap. His body went rigid, he didn’t know what to do, he rarely did when it came to her. He knew he should probably touch her, people liked that, but she was so uptight sometimes she’d probably cast a nasty spell on him for even poking her.
“Well, it’s not that you’re not doing it right, you just have high expectations. Maybe relax a little and stop being so uptight?” He mumbled, posing it as a question in case it was the wrong thing to say. Y/n pulled back to look at him, her red and puffy face sending a awkward feeling to his stomach and causing his heart to accelerate as he forced himself not to break eye contact, she wiped her eyes before nodding a bit.
“You’re right. I’m so uptight, everyone hates me” she whispered, a stupid pout framing her lips as Yuto scowled.
“You’re so stupid” he grumbled, rolling his eyes before realizing what he’d said and fearing her expression, “I don’t hate you”
“Maybe not you,” she mumbled, Yuto breathed a sigh of relief as she stared out the window, “but everyone else does. They think I’m mean, and bossy, it’s not my fault I have nothing better to do. The girls in my dorm are so snarky, they make fun of me when I say good morning”
“Maybe because your breath stinks” Yuto shrugged, nudging her shoulder as y/n felt a stupid smile creep onto her face.
“You’re an asshole you know that?”
“Yeah, but you still haven’t stopped talking to me so you must like it” Yuto whispered with a small smile. Something about this felt good, he didn’t really like it, in fact he wanted to run far away from it but it was too late for that, “if I help you with your potion will you do something for me?”
“I guess”
*
*
Grand Staircase// 1:58AM// October 31st
“If we get caught I’ll just blame it on you” y/n mumbled, adjusting her prefect badge on her robe as she stopped on the staircase. Yuto had been dragging her around the entire castle, his route to the Astronomy Tower the stupidest thing ever. The staircase began to move underneath her, and she might have been a little tipsy from the firewhiskey Yuto carried around or something, but she tried not to yell as she toppled over.
“Are you always such a mess?” Yuto sighed, grabbing her hand and pulling her onto the last step of the opposite staircase, holding onto her tightly as they moved places for a few more seconds. Y/n felt sick, her head was swimming, she blamed the alcohol.
“I’m normally much more put together than this” she admitted, feeling her face heat up when he didn’t let go of her hand and started to pull her up the staircase before they could switch places again. She’d never once gotten lost on the stairs, but that’s because she avoided them as best as she could if she was alone, and with Yuto she was basically alone since he often let her fend for herself.
“Happy Halloween” Yuto said to a portrait as they passed by, most of the portraits happily saying it back as they greeted him. Normally the portraits were always grumpy, especially this late at night, she was slightly relieved they weren’t yelling at them. Yuto’s idea of fun seemed to be sneaking around the castle, whether it was with his owl or not, and he had to admit it wasn’t the first time he’d thought of bringing y/n with him. Or the first time he thought about holding her hand.
“So,” y/n croaked, her palm a bit sweaty beneath his fingers as she swallowed nervously, “come here often?”
Yuto just laughed, his fingers intertwining with her own while the both of them blushed. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it’s because if he got caught he wouldn’t take all of the blame, but it felt comfortable. He couldn’t remember the last time he held someone’s hand, his whole life becoming a blur, probably the alcohol.
“You know, you’re a lot nicer when you shut your mouth” he joked, glancing back at y/n who’s eyes were wide as she stared at the floor. He bit his lip as he turned away, finally making it to the top floor of the Astronomy Tower and letting her go, “wanna, I don’t know, eat dinner with me tomorrow?”
“Yup” she said quickly, ducking her head as she went straight to the telescope and avoided him. Did she even hear him? Was it really that easy?
Y/n was freaking out a bit, her hand still tingling and her body feeling awkward around Yuto. She was sure these were normal feelings she usually got around him, just intensified by a lot. Her eyes could barely focus on the stars before she felt Yuto behind her, his arms above her shoulders as he adjusted the telescope. She turned around quickly, hitting her head on the telescope like it was tradition, her eyes taking in every detail of him this close like she’d never seen him before. He was so gorgeous to her, tan skin, so flawless, his eyes were so beautiful and he was staring at her with a look in his eye she knew mirrored hers. Maybe it was the alcohol, but she couldn’t be sure, she felt something she never really felt before but at the same time she’s sure it had always been there.
“You have stars in your eyes” Yuto mumbled, the hand that had been on the telescope had moved to sit comfortably on the back of her head, her soft hair sliding between his fingers as she stared up at him with a mix of awe and shock in her eyes. Yuto was in a daze, the half a bottle of firewhiskey and the smell of her perfume feeling dangerous to him, he didn’t know what to do. Well he knew what to do, he knew he should kiss her, but he was too scared to make it happen.
“I-“
“Who’s up here?!” The voice that interrupted them made y/n jump, once again hitting her head on the telescope, making her cry out in pain and give them away. Yuto sighed, nothing ever went according to plan.
*
*
Ravenclaw Common Room// 4:37PM// November 28th
Yuto couldn’t stay away from y/n even if he tried, it was pathetic really. The one night they got caught may have cost them 5 House points and got them banned from their last Hallowe’en Feast as Hogwart’s students but it might have been worth it. It kind of created a stupid inseparable bond between the two of them, they made it a thing to head to the Astonomy Tower at least twice a week, and either of them would be lying if they said they didn’t look forward to it. Although y/n liked to complain and Yuto liked to bother her, something about looking at the stars together was really really nice.
“Hey y/n!” Someone said, making Yuto scan the room for the girl he rarely saw if it wasn’t in potions class or the middle of the night. She was sitting on the couch between two other girls, some girls he saw around the dorms that liked to stare at him. He didn’t really like them, but if they were friends with y/n they couldn’t be that bad.
Yuto pretended like he was interested in his book, waiting for y/n to walk by to catch her attention, his ears feeling hot as she stared at him expectantly. Maybe she was busy, she did look like she was in a rush, but he felt a little bad. Normally she gave him her undivided attention with cute little eyes, but she really did look busy. Yuto’s words got caught in his throat, “u-uh I was just wondering if you wanted to, um, go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow? Well not go, but you can meet me there. I’ll buy you butterbeer?”
Y/n just stared at Yuto and he was cussing himself out inside, seeing how she barely reacted when normally she’d be a blushing mess, “sure. See you”
He stared after her wondering what the hell was her problem, knowing she probably liked him better when he was an asshole or something, he should’ve just asked her tonight when they went to see the stars. He felt like a piece of crap, and was too mad to even read his book as he got up to take a walk and saw some seventh year quidditch asshole in the hallway talking to y/n. He debated on whether or not he should cast a bad spell on him when he walked by but then he heard y/n laugh the ugliest laugh ever and her friends joined in.
Y/n pretended not to see Yuto when he walked by, feeling some kind of longing in her stomach as her friend drug her away by the arm to go pick out an outfit for tomorrow. It was snowing and the last thing she wanted to do was look ‘cute’ but this is the first time she’d really felt welcomed by her roommates and she’d rather be on their good side than bad side. It wasn’t news than y/n used to be popular, she was a star Quidditch player and had so many friends, her accident was really bad and she was lucky to be alive, but she lost a lot more than confidence when she never returned to the Pitch.
She supposed people were mad at her for not wanting to go back, she got lucky with her position as prefect because it helped her get her mind off of things, then people started to dislike her more because she wouldn’t let them break the rules. She’d begun to get really tired of the mistreatment, then her roommates started being nice and she couldn’t pass up the opportunity.
“So what’s up with you and that Adachi kid. Isn’t he a Mudblood?” Y/n’s roommate asked, making her nose wrinkle at the ugly word she’d used. Y/n just shrugged to avoid a conflict, pulling a pink sweater out of her trunk that she thought would be perfect for tomorrow. In the back of her mind she knew Yuto wasn’t a Mudblood, but who was she to correct people? Maybe she knew he was actually a Half-Blood and he’d lived with his wizard family his whole life.
“I don’t know. He’s nice” y/n said quietly, her face heating up as she folded her clothes and put them on her nightstand for the weekend.
“Yeah but he’s not the best Quidditch player in ravenclaw is he?” Her roommate said, causing the other girls to giggle. Y/n wasn’t sure why that guy had suddenly started talking to her, he never talked to her before, in fact she was sure he was part of the reason she’d gotten hurt all those years ago.
“I suppose not. I’m going for dinner”
*
*
Astronomy Tower// 12:43AM// November 29th
Yuto got tired of waiting for y/n, his frustration making him too upset to even look at the stars and something stupid blurred his vision as he sat against a pillar. He and y/n normally ate dinner together, whether she sat across from him or beside it didn’t matter, but today she sat with her friends and that stupid Quidditch Keeper. Yuto wasn’t quite sure what she saw in them, taking back his previous thoughts that they were possibly good people, y/n would never be this cold to Yuto and he knew it. It just made it worse when she didn’t meet him in the Common Room at the usual time and wasn’t there 20 minutes later either.
Yuto debated on whether or not he should even go on the trip tomorrow, no longer having the motivation if y/n was going to ignore him for her friends. He knew it was stupid, he was 18 and was way past the age of crying over stupid girls. But y/n was everything but a stupid girl, and it didn’t count if the tears never fell. Right?
*
*
Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop(Hogsmeade)// 12:20PM// November 29th
Y/n sighed as her friends shoved her into the stupid tea shop behind a stupid boy who had spent the entire ride to Hogsmeade cracking dirty jokes and wrapping his arm around her. It was awfully uncomfortable in there, there were people kissing everywhere and she was sure he asked her what she wanted about 15 times before she could say she wanted a chocolate cookie and called it a day. He wanted to sit at a table near the window, and y/n cringed when he led her by the small of her back.
“So,” he began, flashing a toothy grin as he sipped his tea, “What do you like to do for fun?”
Y/n paled, did he not ask her the same question just two days ago in the Common Room? Did he already forget, was she that basic and boring? She caught a glimpse of a sullen figure out the foggy window walking with his shorter friend, and wondered where he was heading, “do you like butterbeer?”
“I prefer firewhiskey. It’s more of a man drink you know?”
“I drink firewhiskey?” Y/n said, raising her eyebrow as she shoved the rest of her cookie in her mouth and wiped her hands on the stupidly frilly napkin on the table.
“Well if you want something to keep you warm, that’s what my hands are for” the boy across from her said smoothly, winking at her as her cookie almost didn’t go down. She gripped her knees under the table, praying for a miracle when the shop door opened and she heard some weird whistling noises, “Yooo!! Jinho!!”
Y/n jumped from the sudden loud noise, turning to see Jinho and Yuto in the tea shop and feeling her face heat up. What normal person comes in here? She’d never even dream of coming to a place like this and was 800% sure neither would Yuto, she saw him go to order something and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. When the Quidditch players got to talking and soon attracted two more rowdy boys she got up, making a break for the front door Yuto had just left out of.
“W-wait. Yuto!” She panted, the cold weather making it hard for her to catch up with Yuto and his long ass legs. He turned around with a grumpy face, shoving cake into his mouth as y/n panted.
Yuto remembered how bad her injury had been, how hard it now was for y/n to even do things normally after what happened, still remembered her face when they drug her out of the pitch with seven broken ribs, a punctured lung and a fractured Tibia. That’s what made him stop for her, he would never have done it otherwise.
“Now you wanna talk?” Yuto grumbled. That didn’t mean he had to be nice.
Y/n ignored him, knowing him a bit too well, “w-what kind of cake is that? Do you always get that?”
“Yes,” Yuto mumbled, shoving a spoonful of cake into her mouth and kind of wishing she’d choke on it, “it’s rose flavored. It’s my favorite”
Y/n’s face went red, it was relieving to see her normal face was back, “it’s good. How did you even know about the cake there?”
Y/n had never been in there before in her life, maybe once just to see, but never on a date or anything. She never wanted to again after today, Yuto just blushed and wanted to avoid saying he’d gone with an ex-girlfriend. Y/n got the idea and they fell into step together as Yuto finished his cake.
“Want one?” Yuto asked, pointing to the three broomsticks as y/n nodded, looking cute and comfortable in her pink sweater as Yuto stifled a groan when he opened the door for her. He hated her.
Y/n froze in the doorway, seeing her roommates gathered at a table and waving at her, their faces falling when they noticed Yuto behind her. Yuto saw them, he wasn’t going to pretend like he didn’t, he wasn’t going to pretend like he didn’t see y/n’s shoulders falling as she moved to a table and sulked behind a menu. He gave her roommates a dirty look, they looked like a bunch of cat hair bunched together and it was ugly.
“Two butterbeer’s please” y/n sighed, not wasting any second when the butterbeer was brought out instantly. Yuto wasn’t sure why she was a mess right now, he just hoped it wasn’t because of him. Y/n placed her near empty cup in front of her as Yuto sipped at the foam off the top of his, staring at her and noticing a look in her eye that made him wince.
“What now?”
“Why does everyone hate me?” Y/n moaned, burying her face in her arms as her head hit the table with a thud. He moved her glass of butterbeer before she could knock it over, her loud crying luckily drowned out by all the noise in here.
“You’re so...” Yuto refrained from saying anything rude, instead shutting his mouth and waiting for her to stop being dramatic.
“I try so hard to get people to like me and then they give me dirty looks, what am I doing wrong?” She whined, wiping her eyes with her sleeves as Yuto searched for a napkin. He hated when she did that.
“Maybe you should stop hanging out with me” he said truthfully, “then maybe your ‘friends’ would like you more”
Y/n made a noise, searching for her cup of butterbeer that Yuto pushed into her hands, “don’t be ridiculous!”
“Okay, then get new friends? You know there are other houses besides Ravenclaw. Ever considered venturing outside of stuck up brainiacs?” Yuto sighed, knowing he was one of them but that didn’t exactly prove to be useful information right now.
“I’m not good enough for them” she mumbled, a red blush creeping across her face as Yuto finished the rest of his butterbeer and rolled his eyes.
“Why are you like this?” He asked, expecting an answer but not getting one, “seriously. You know your worth, you know how smart and talented you are. Why do you waste it on people who are no good for you? Who are so ugly on the inside?”
Y/n just stared at him, her eyes narrowing before she got out of her seat and Yuto looked at her like she was crazy. She was crazy, they were both crazy, “going”
“Okay?” He muttered, still getting up to follow her as she stumbled out of the pub and into the snow. She was going in the direction she shouldn’t be if she wanted to take a carriage back to the school, kicking snow as she went, hitting trees with her hands as she wandered deeper into the forest full of dead trees, “stop being dramatic!”
“Why? I mean if no ones ever going to like me why does it matter how I am?” Y/n called out behind her, not bothering to look at Yuto who’s long legs kept getting stuck in the snow.
“Do you realize how pathetic that sounds?” Yuto groaned. He understood how she felt, she was popular and a star player, she had so much going for her and everything changed in an instant. But didn’t she realize that if people didn’t stay they weren’t meant to be there in the first place? That the people who wanted to be there would always be there, and they’d never ever lie to her?
“Just add it to the list of all the stupid things I am” y/n muttered childishly, her eyes widening when Yuto spun her around. She was surprised by the look on his face, he looked so irritated by what she was saying. Truth be told she never really meant it, she knew deep down she was better than what she said, but she got insecure and it was her downfall.
“You know what you are?” Yuto hissed, his brow furrowing as y/n prepared herself for the worst. She knew how he could be when he was angry, it wasn’t pretty, she got upset just looking at him.
“What?”
It couldn’t be worse though, what could he possibly say to hurt her anymore?
“Beautiful...” Yuto sighed, his head hanging and his voice dropping, “and I love you. And I want to kiss you so badly”
“Y-Yuto-“ y/n mumbled, her body smashed against Yuto’s in an instant as he pressed his lips against hers. He was surprisingly gentle for how angry he always looked and was, his hands moving to cradle her face and brush away the stupid tears that were pouring from her eyes. He loved her so much, he always knew that, how long would he have waited to tell her if his emotions didn’t get the best of him?
“I love you. You make me happy, let me make you happy too” Yuto whispered, pulling away to see her looking at him with those pretty stars in her eyes. Y/n was absolutely positive that she’d never looked at someone more beautiful in her life, she thought her world would be changing more, but all the changing had already been done that night she caught him sneaking into their dorms at 2AM.
“I love you, I really do” y/n said, reaching out to caress his cheek as he leaned into her touch just like his owl would.
“But?” He asked, his brow furrowing as he kept his eyes closed, the warmth of her hand everything he could ever want or need. Neither of them were quite sure when they fell so deeply in love, maybe it had always been that way and they (y/n) were just too stupid to see. But he was glad it was all out now, he was tired of wondering what it was like to hold her and tell her how beautiful she was.
“No buts, I just want to know something”
His eyes snapped open, that question sending a shot of anxiety through him that had him tensing up immediately, “w-what?”
“Did you really transform into an Animagus? Because those rumors...you’re so quiet it would have been easy for you” she mumbled, knowing the rumored way involved holding a mandrake leaf in your mouth for a long long time.
“I mean...” Yuto mumbled, unzipping his sweater and walking of deeper into the trees, shedding layers as he went, “wanna find out?”
Everyone had their share of bad days. Yuto knew that but he wished that somehow, no one would have to go through that, himself included. That past couple of weeks made Yuto think he was treading a raging sea.
He felt heavy. He felt as if he was being weighed down by some imaginary weight. His muscles also ached but that was no surprise since tension resided within him. What frustrated Yuto the most was that he couldn’t figure out the reason for his gloomy state.
Yuto racked his brain for a reason but nothing came up. Maybe it was stress. There was a lot going on at that time and he often caught himself falling behind.
Yeah, that was it. Except, it wasn’t.
His day off was spent lounging about while you were rushing from class to class. He only stepped out for about an hour to grab lunch with Wooseok since you texted that you would be home a bit later. He tried to laugh at the things his friend said but he didn’t feel like he was there. On many accounts, Wooseok had to snap him back to reality and even though he wanted to question what was bothering Yuto, he pushed it aside.
The two boys ordered their food and Wooseok noticed again how the conversations weren’t how they usually were.
“Hey,” Wooseok grabbed a napkin, “did you and Y/N fight or something?”
Yuto was looking out the window as people bustled about. He was folding in on himself more and more until Wooseok nudged him and repeated his question.
Yuto shook his head, “You know we don’t fight.”
Wooseok shrugged, “Well, I think most couples believe that and then one day it happens.”
Yuto frowned. It was true, the two of you never fought because you had the kind of relationship where any problems would get resolved first. With one last look out the window, Yuto faced Wooseok and told him what was bothering him. Yuto realized that the root of his problem was because of a documentary that was playing on television. The all so familiar scenery made his chest ache and he felt the need to change the channel.
Wooseok helped him identify the feeling, well, ache that coursed through his muscles.
Yuto was homesick.
He retraced his actions and realized it was all because of the before mentioned documentary. The cherry blossoms that would bloom during March, the bridge over the pond that was filled with koi fish. It all reminded him if of a simpler time when his family was within reach. Yeah, you made him feel happy and safe but it wasn’t the same. He kind of felt bad about the whole situation but he knew you would understand.
Wooseok was never really good at explanations you noted as you looked over the text he sent you. Luckily, you were able to understand that something was wrong with Yuto. You weren’t really able to focus on your lecture after that but was relieved when you professor ended class early. Just the thought of something happening to Yuto made your chest ache, but you hoped that Wooseok was only being dramatic.
You hoped that Yuto was totally fine and that when you stepped in your shared apartment, he’d be waiting on the couch with a steaming cup of tea on the coffee table. Then, he’d smile and pull you into a hug while he mumbled something about missing you against your neck. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Yuto wasn’t in the living room and the coffee table was clear save for the television remote. A weight was lifted from your chest when you heard the shower running.
After your backpack and shoes were discarded, you prepared a cup of tea for Yuto. While you were waiting for the water to get hot, you looked through the fridge for something to eat and settled on the pizza from the night before. You were too busy to notice that the shower was turned off and that the bathroom door opened.
Yuto continued to rub the towel against his damp hair as he ambled towards the bedroom. He was about to pick up his phone but he could see that the kitchen light was on from the corner of his eye. His brows knitted together as he slowly walked into the kitchen. Any feelings of panic that he had dissolved when he noticed you pouring water into a mug.
“You got it?”
His voice scared you a bit but you nodded nonetheless. You continued with the tea and when it was just the way he liked it, you held it out towards him. When he started to question the gesture you stood on your tiptoes and placed a soft yet tender kiss to his lips.
“Please,” you searched his eyes, “I mean, you always make tea for me so.”
Yuto nodded, a small smile on his face, “Thanks.”
“Always,” you returned the smile as you cupped the side of his face in your hand, “I’m gonna shower, okay? So, drink your tea and relax.”
Yuto chuckled as he placed the mug on the counter and grabbed you before you made it out of reach. One of his hands held yours while the other rested on your shoulder. He slowly leaned close enough for his lips to brush you forehead. He didn’t know why he did it. It wasn’t like he had to have a reason to kiss you since, well, you had been dating for a while but maybe it was for reassurance. To assure you as well as himself that he was fine but you already knew that he wasn’t.
With one last gentle squeeze on his hand, you left the kitchen to shower. Yuto sipped on his tea and tried to decide whether or not it was worth it to turn on the television. He sighed and placed the empty mug in the sink before he headed to your shared bedroom. The apartment complex the two of you resided in was pretty nice and everyone had a balcony. That’s where Yuto would usually go if something was bothering him. The liveliness of the city life below was usually able to distract him.
That’s where you found him.
Your bedroom was dark save for the lights of the city that seeped in from the balcony. You just stood at the edge of the room, one of Yuto’s shirts on your frame, almost as long as your pajama bottoms. The flashing lights highlighted his side profile and made him look even more ethereal. Slowly, you padded across the room to the balcony and wrapped your arms around Yuto’s torso. He made a sound of content as one of his hands grasped yours.
The two of you only stood there for a few minutes before you gently pulled him back into the room. You sat on the edge of the bed and gestured for him to rest his head on your lap. Yuto complied and let you card your fingers through his slightly damp hair. He always found that comforting and was beyond thankful for the action, especially at that time.
You chewed on the inside of your cheek before you spoke up, “Wooseok told me that you’re not feeling well.”
Yuto was silent for a second before he mumbled a ‘yeah’. You nodded slowly. You weren’t going to press him for answers. You never did. It was always best to wait out whatever storm Yuto was stuck in the middle of because he’d eventually find his way back.
Within an hour, Yuto found a path that led back to reality. He told you about the documentary and how it triggered everything and how it made his chest ache. Through tears, he told you how much he missed his family and even apologized for doing so. You let him cry in the crook of your neck and whispered that he had nothing to apologize for.
Gently, you pulled him away to look into his eyes, “Hey,” you wiped at any lingering tears, “it’s okay.”
You had to reassure that no matter the distance, his family was still proud of all that he accomplished. A promise that the two of you would visit his family at the end of the month was mumbled. You promised him that you would visit Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden when the cherry blossoms bloomed.
Those were promises that you intended to keep no matter what and Yuto could tell as much. He was thankful that even though he was away from home, he had you and the rest of pentagon. With his head against your shoulder, Yuto came to a realization: he had a family and so much more away from home.
Hi! x3 Maybe to have a little angst with fluff at the end, 10 Angst + Yuto? It can start out with doubt and insecurity, then the reader (the s/o) admits that they're afraid he's cheating on them? He assures them that no such thing is happening because he loves them. ;_;
Yuto + 10. (angst) “Do you even still love me?”
The air feels tense around you. It’s been a while since you sat in your room like this, each staring into different directions, awkwardly avoiding eye contact and trying not to breathe too loudly. The atmosphere is stifling and heavy on your shoulders, as it is on your boyfriends’, as you assume.
Boyfriend… The word runs through your head while you bite your lip and try to hold back tears for the n-th time this week. The overwhelming emotions are building up inside of you again. Doubt, fear, anger, sadness. You shouldn’t be feeling like this, you know you should trust him with your everything, but still, you can’t help but wonder.
“What’s up, Y/N. Why does it feel so weird sitting here?” Yuto finally breaks the silence and you let out a breath of relief. However but a second later, all the hurt comes back, as if it was gnawing away on your back, glaring at him from behind you. You have to say something now, you can’t just stay silent and let the chance to talk slip away, but you don’t know what words to choose. You force yourself to relax and to stop fiddling with the hem of your shirt for a moment to concentrate.
“I feel like we’re growing apart,” you say. It’s not quite what you meant to tell him, but at least it’s not really a lie. He, on the other hand, raises his eyebrows and looks at you in astonishment.
“But we see each other a lot! Sure, I have a busy schedule lately, but…” he explains, and when he pauses you take your chance to clarify.
“It’s not like that,” you say. “How often we’re seeing each other is just fine, and I get that you don’t have much time during promotions, just…” Those images flash by your inner eye. How he laughed when he was with that person. How happy he seemed. Your thoughts race faster than your conversation is progressing and you can feel you’re close to tears once again. Tightly gripping the fabric of your pants in your fists, you speak without thinking.
“Do you even still love me?”
“Huh? Why would you ask-” Yuto immediately replies, but you cut him off, letting your emotions take over fully.
“I just keep seeing you with that one girl, and you get along so well, so I thought maybe you… you liked her more than me.” You can’t stop a single tear to escape you, trickling down your cheek, and you wipe it away, all the way through not daring to look Yuto in the eyes.
“Y/N,” he calls out and you fear the worst.
“You don’t have to say it. I-it’s okay. I was never that good for you any-” This time it’s him who cuts you off, calling out your name again, this time with more force. You jolt and finally look at his devastated face as he comes closer to cup your face with his big, warm hands.
“Do you think I’m cheating on you?” he asks you calmly, and at the words you melt down completely, starting to sob uncontrollably.
“I- I’m sorry, I just- I didn’t- Was I wrong? I don’t- I don’t know anymore,” you somehow manage to force out, trying your best to avoid eye-contact again, but as soon as you hear his calm voice, you can’t help but look at him.
“Why would you think you are worth so little that I could just… do something like that to you?” You can now clearly hear the sadness in his voice. You were afraid he might be angry at the accusation, but it seems he doesn’t care about himself in this moment.
“I don’t know…” you answer, your voice barely even audible.
“Then let me tell you something, Y/N. I love you, and only you. Sure, I have other friends that I get along with just as well, but you…” He takes a moment to look at your face fondly. “You are different. My love for you exceeds everything I’ve ever felt for anyone. And no way could I ever even think about hurting you. Okay?”
“Okay…” you mumble, looking away, both reassured and embarrassed for thinking so lowly of him. He moves closer to press a gentle kiss on your forehead and you shut your eyes, leaning into him a little. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Yuto whispers while he wraps his arms around you. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
“I doubted you… I shouldn’t have done that.” You feel him shake his head next to yours.
“I don’t blame you. Just promise me one thing. From now on if you have any such thoughts, or if you think there’s something between us that doesn’t feel right to you… tell me right away, okay?” You nod as he pulls back, resting both his hands on your shoulders. “I don’t want to see you torturing yourself like this again.”
“Okay,” you nod. “I love you.” His lips form a faint smile and you can’t help but mimic his expression.
