Various Alfred Headcanons because I have thought about him for 9,000 hours
-Smells like incense, leather, and to his chagrin, sweat from wearing like five layers (It's like a nice, clean, exercise sweat). Often wears cheap cologne to try to mask his musk (and ends up smelling like incense, leather, sweat AND oranges).
-He has a slight overbite that he's never noticed and would spend the rest of the day obsessing in the mirror about it unhappily when told!
-Alfred has wide hips (canon confirmed!) that he is quite shy about as he sees it as “unmanly”. The one thing he does not like about the executioner's garb is how it emphasizes that feature. Quincy loves it however.
-iron stomach/constitution. Alfred is one of those annoying people who never gets sick but thinks they are dying when they do.
-chronic insomnia from stress and overthinking, as well as being a born morning person having to deal with a nocturnal hunter's lifestyle. He was made for early to bed early to rise, not the hunter's dawn to early afternoon sleeping schdule.
-carpet and drapes match :)
-Alfred is somewhat vain (another source of guilt) but rationalizes it as embodying the best of humanity by looking good, ergo the nice hair and trendy sideburns. His hair is very soft. Cleanest man in Yharnam by far!
-was quite willowy as a kid, puberty then hit him like a truck and he filled out more after he started hunting.
-the fact that Alfred is around thirty and unmarried is another reason why people find him weird (victorian times!!). He sees it as “well. My sacred duty and all that. *stares at the ceiling steeped in touch starved melancholia for hours*”. A lot of hunters are also unmarried so its not too bizarre. Before his stupid quest and after being shooed out of the church his plan was 1. Marry a normal lady like any normal man (ignore latent bisexuality) 2. ??? Have Children????? But he had a lot worse to worry about before and after becoming a hunter.
-Alfred swore off finding love to focus on his quest, but he still gets crushes easily, which makes him incredibly guilty (being distracted from his mission/the fact that he has his suicide planned out at the completion of said mission). He is lonely enough that anyone giving him the time of day outside of just cooperating on the hunt (taking interest in him/his quest???) Would probably be enough to pique his interest.