#zek rambles

[zekroudon]

When you were hoping for only one thing from D23 and got nothing, not a single thing about the Young Avengers. I have no clue why I still get my hopes up every time a big event of announcements comes up. I’ll believe it when we get an actual teaser and even then, I probably should not get my hopes up of getting a good Wickling romance on screen considering how great they’ve been with lgbtq+ rep so far. Honestly, the team is too queer for the mouse to straight-wash them.

[zekrommoo7]

Why I think the Electro Seelie represents Tomo and the implications it holds for Kazuha

Hey guys, Zek here. This is not an incorrect quote or anything of the sort so sorry if that’s what you follow me for ;;

I was doing the next part of the golden archipelago that came out today and on the third Kazuha domain there was something that really caught my attention. And that thing was the electro seelie that guides you through a good chunk of the domain. 

Now, I believe that this seelie is there to represent Kazuha’s dead friend and here’s why. (I just finished the domain as I write this so here’s to hoping it’s still fresh enough in my memory)

under the cut for length, also it’s not proofread

All three domains knit together tell the story of Kazuha. It starts with his childhood. Even though his clan was struggling, everything still seemed so grand to him. He didn’t think anything was wrong. It’s fully of memories and little messages from his family. There’s no enemies here aside from those found in the dojo. Memories of sparring matches that would have been controlled by his father or whoever was supervising him. Note, those are the only things to manifest here (aside from chests and puzzle things but I chalk that up to normal genshin domain stuff).

The next domain really picks the decline of Kazuha’s household once he’s old enough to notice it. His dad tries to convince him that he shouldn’t be tied down with a failing clan and that he should go do what he wants. Kazuha doesn’t want to leave his dad to take the burden and for a moment he feels like maybe this was happening because he wasn’t good enough. That’s a pretty memorable situation and something he apologizes for once we find him. The thing is, that shouldn’t be something he apologizes for. It was an incredibly tough situation that he had no control over it. Usually apologies don’t come unless you feel like it’s your fault or if you feel ashamed. I think he’s ashamed of his past self. And for someone who claimed to have completely moved on and left the past behind, he did seem to know exactly what part of his life we were seeing, despite only having a second-hand account of what happened. 

Finally, this brings us to the third domain. 

This domain takes place after the fall of Kazuha’s clan. He’s paid off all the debts his family owed, let go of all the staff, and sold everything that wasn’t a valuable family heirloom. He didn’t have anything to his name anymore. After we here him dismissing the last butler and any other staff that may be around his home, it’s expected that now he’d be completely alone, right?

Well soon enough we hear the voice of his friend (who I will be calling Tomo for convenience). Kazuha is talking about his life, the two are talking about visions, he’s not alone. 

Soon after in the memories, the Tenryou Commission comes to Kazuha’s home it seems like to take his vision. Tomo tells him to come with him and then we’re met with a door. The door needs two seals to open and on the island there is only one. 

The second one can be found by following an electro seelie that shows up after Tomo calls for Kazuha to follow him. And what do we do the whole time? We follow the seelie. It guides us through puzzles, helps us unlock chests, and accompanies us through battles. It guides us to the duel with the Raiden Shogun and even beyond that. 

But how can it be Tomo if Tomo died fighting the Raiden Shogun? Well, I don’t think the seelie is him exactly. This world is based on Kazuha’s memories and his mental state. I think more than directly being him in his memories, the seelie is meant to represent him. 

While being there for most of the domain, the seelie does not see us through to the end. It stops just before the boat that takes Kazuha out of Inazuma. Kazuha has told us multiple times throughout this that the past is history. He has moved one, he has left it all behind. The fact that this seelie has it’s court at this point in Kazuha’s life shows that he’s trying to leave Inazuma behind. All of it, everything. Even willing to leave behind his friend, whose memory he has been carrying with him all this time. 

And I mean, Tomo had an electro vision. It was an electro seelie. Easy connection right there. 

Now, this would line up with what Kazuha says pretty well. If it weren’t for the fact that Tomo manifested as a seelie so clearly in the first place and played such a vital role of getting us through the domain. 

Think of the things I’ve mentioned that have manifested so far. Distinct little memories from his childhood, the kind someone could easily recall but nothing that really pieces together into a coherent story. Controlled sparring matches that would be vital to remembering the different sword skills he’s learned. His fight with his dad, probably the first one he has, accompanied with feelings of inadequacy. Losing everything. 

Throughout all three domains, there has not been a single person to manifest aside from the people Kazuha has had to fight in his life. The shadow of his dad does not count. It’s merely that, a shadow. It doesn’t interact with us like the seelie does. 

This is something-- someone that he feels so strongly about that they manifested in a way that could interact with the player. Why was Tomo manifested so clearly when Kazuha insists so strongly that he left everything behind?

Well to put it simply, he’s not being honest. Whether or not he knows he’s lying doesn’t matter. What matter is the fact that he is. Deep down he has not moved on. He says at the end of the quest that his heart is clear and he says another word I can’t remember off the top of my head. He says that with that second thing, it also means his heart is empty.

His heart is empty when he has so many people that support him. He’s not letting people in because he still has not fully overcome Tomo’s death. Tomo was the one constant in his life after he lost everything and surely Kazuha opened his heart to him. Then he died. Sure he died fighting for what he believed in, but Kazuha at that moment was truly all alone. By that point he could have felt like he truly lost everything. Maybe those feelings of inadequacy even came back from when his house was falling. 

So while he has all these people around him in the present, he still feels alone. 

I think when he says he left everything in the past, Kazuha really means that he’s locked away those traumatic things. I think until he learns to really face his past and really move on, he will be unable to to open his heart to anyone. 

[zekrommoo7]

Oc’s ideal types

Thank you also anon, I'm being enabled and I love it <3

By types I'm assuming you mean like relationship wise sooo

Taigen: He's a gay boy but also he's incredibly shy... His ideal boyfriend would have to be someone who can be there for him when he's sad, comfort him when he's stressed, and maybe even bring him out of his shell. He'll get flustered over the slightest thing though so it would take a lot of warming up

Othello: .......... He's into supernatural creatures, in other words...... He's a monster fucker. I'm so sorry you had to find out this way

Ezume: Someone non-argumentative because he has the shortest temper, also he'd prefer someone who wouldn't mind being out on the ocean with him all the time, Ezume loves sailing

Kou: Kou isn't sure what his sexuality is and he's never felt strong attraction towards anyone in particular, but if he had to describe an ideal then he'd probably prefer someone quiet and affectionate. He's an anti-social bookworm and if he can share whatever book he's reading about with you, you're probably golden.

Beni: Beni is pan and he prefers someone loyal and caring. For his division, he's already like an big brother, almost motherly figure, so as long as the person isn't a jerk then they should be golden. Loyalty is very important though. If a partner were ever to betray his trust, that'd be it.

Shion: He's sixteen and doesn't really think about partners too much. As long as his peers at school think he's cool and hang out with him then he's satisfied. Maybe in a few years he'll know more about what he wants.

Megami: The only preference she has is that her partner will be fun. She is definitely into women, but really she's not looking for a partner.

Desdemona: She also has no strong preferences. You'd probably need to get along with her sister though.

[zekrommoo7]

About the YuuMori Anime Ending

I think the anime and manga are both great, and yeah the anime cut out scenes that were great for character development *cough* Durham Date *cough* but also like. End of the anime they just kinda fucker off to Switzerland and I think that's great too.

And like I can imagine them getting a little cottage together and maybe William started teaching at a local school and Sherlock is doing what he can to help out while his totally not boyfriend is at work. Sherlock is loud and energetic and messy, so so messy. William is quiet and observant and incredibly neat and now that they're living together they're going to have to figure out a system that works for them which wouldn't be too hard with how smart they are but when there's a problem they keep trying to outsmart each other until one of them has the outcome they wanted.

Like maybe William tries to get Sherlock to stop smoking because have you seen the amount he smokes in the manga please sir your lungs. But he can't just be like "Hey, this is bad for your health could you please stop?" Instead first he hides the cigarettes, so then Sherlock starts smoking them before he gets home but can't fully hide the smell, so then William locks him out of the house next time, but then Sherlock picks the lock, and they keep going and going like this until eventually William wins because he's always a step ahead.

Anyways yeah, just them being soft in some mountain town in Switzerland because they deserve it.

[zekrommoo7]

This has nothing to do with anime

Just ignore me rambling a little

SO I have my best friend, we met online like over two years ago now at this point. He’s been with me and helped me through some of the hardest parts in my life and I love him so much. But platonically. I love him so much in a platonic way and I didn’t know that was a thing you could do so sometimes I would be so conflicted over whether these feelings were romantic or not

Fast forward to roughly two months ago now when I stumbled upon the term for a queerplatonic relationship. Finally, I found something that fit what I felt towards him. He’s gay, I’m lesbian, but we platonically love each other very much.

I still haven’t talked to him about it, but I’m going to soon. Until then I’ve still just really been looking into it

So I’m here

and so far I’ve hit like all the points here when thinking about our relationship but

this one in particular hit hard. Good to know I’m not the only one

[zekrommoo7]

My Final Thoughts on Bungou to Alchemist

If you’ve been watching the show and following it since it came out, then you should be aware it ended today. I felt like sharing my final thoughts on the anime, because ratings wise it may have not been the most well liked show, but it had a powerful impact on me. (and i loved the op-)

That being said, if you haven’t watched the show or aren’t caught up on it, there will be spoilers. It’s also my first time doing something like this so bear with me if it’s more of a ramble of my thoughts.

I, as well as probably a lot of people, started watching the show because I am a massive fan of Bungou Stray Dogs as you can tell from my profile pic and a lot of my content. It was incredibly well written, interesting, and first introduced me to Japanese literature. I went to BTA expecting something of the same sense, something based on real people but its own story entirely.

Moments into the first episode I immediately realized I was wrong. This wasn’t handling people based on authors, this was handling reincarnations of actual deceased authors. There were comedy episodes, story episodes, and episodes meant to make you feel. I cried with Ango’s episode, I felt pain when the kid killed himself, and these last two episodes had me bawling. This was an entirely different anime from Bungou Stray Dogs and I realized pretty quickly that comparing the two wouldn’t be worth it. Despite being massively different, BTA still has become one of my favorite anime.

The reason I had such a strong reaction to certain episodes has a lot to do with the characters themselves. They aren’t characters written to be human, they’re people written to be characters. Even though they lived in a different era, all of these people and their struggles were scarily human because they were all real at one point or another. Yes it was dramatized, yes it was made to be entertaining, but it as also meant to at least get you a glimpse into their real stories. And the human emotions and actions are what I could find relatable. 

I personally am I writer. Most of it is roleplay and fanfiction but I also have my own stories. Things I pour research and development into just so I can get a message across, even if it’s a self-indulgent message, or just a concept I thought people would like. I look at Akutagawa in these last two episodes, and that’s when he really became someone I related to. Here’s where we have really big spoilers, you have been warned.

Speaking of Akutagawa and human emotions, throughout the series he always seemed to me like the ideal author in a way. He had been there a while, he was powerful, he could remain calm in a dangerous situation, he was respected by everyone and highly renowned for his works, and a kind senpai towards Dazai. He just seemed on an entirely different level from everyone else so even I found myself respecting him. He seemed untouchable, that is until I learned a bit more about him. I learned Akutagawa rebuked his earlier works and that he killed himself. I learned he suffered with every novel he wrote and felt like he couldn’t be loved by anyone not even himself.

And that’s why there are two Akutagawa’s in the series. Akutagawa created a version of himself inside his mind to love him when he thought no one else would. That version of Akutagawa is who we follow through the series and is later revealed to be a taint. He’s driven to hate literature, knowing that if it had never existed, the real Akutagawa would have been happy. He never would’ve committed suicide. He never would’ve given up a piece of himself with every novel he wrote. 

Learning all this, oddly enough, is what made me relate to him more. As I mentioned earlier, I am a writer. Almost two years ago now, I was in the same situation as Akutagawa in a sense. I felt like no one would care about me if I were to disappear and that this loose sense of friendship with the people i knew threw writing could disappear at any second. So, I did what he did. I created someone who cared, and not just one person, multiple people. I put in my head that the characters I wrote existed. I would even talk with them and get into fights with them, much like the two Akutagawas in the show as show when he was alive. They existed to replace an actual person for me. I’m doing much better now though, but watching this all played out reminded me of how true everything they were saying could be for people. Literature saved many people but also cursed some people. I’m someone where I’ve had literature do both. That’s why I ended up bawling at the end, because I could feel how real Akutagawa was.

That’s a lot of the main thoughts I had. The music was great, the character designs were great, and the friendships.

Don’t get me started on their friendships. More things more real than I could probably see in a lot of anime where the cast are just characters in a show, nothing more nothing less. Everyone had amazing friendships and I could do an entirely different things about their interactions and dynamics because that’s how strongly I feel about it. I’m not going to put that here because this is already getting long. I did come out of it with some ships too of course, and no one of them was not Dazai and Chuuya

If anything, if there was one major thing I was disappointed with, it’s that I don’t remember Tanizaki showing up. I was looking forward to seeing him.

Anyways that’s about it for me, thanks if you actually took the time to read all of this and if not, 

TLDR; Despite its poor ratings, I thought Bungou to Alchemist was an absolutely amazing show. It’s not comparable to Bungou Stray Dogs, but it’s great in it’s own way. The characters are written in such a real and human like way that each pain they experience could be relatable to somebody. It’s definitely worth checking out.