I wonder what Ares thought of Zelus (Envy) doing this?
"
Now Envy, surveying the bed of lofty Zeus and Semele's labour in the divine birth, was jealous of Bacchos while yet in the womb, Envy self-tormenting, loveless, stung with his own poison. In that crafty heart he conceived a crooked plan. He put on the false image of a counterfeit Ares, with armour like his; he scored the front of the shield with a liquid of his own made from a poisonous flower, to imitate smears of blood. He dipt his deceitful fingers in vermilion dye, staining his hands with red stuff which pretended to be gore (which it resembled) from his slain enemies. He belched out from his throat through his horrible mouth a nine-thousand power roar, a man-breaking voice indeed! He provoked Athena with seductive whispers, and goaded jealous Hera yet more to wrath, and irritated them both; and these are the words he said:
§ 8.50 "Find another bridegroom in the sky, Hera, yes another! for Semele has stolen yours! For her sake he renounces the sevenzoned sky and treads the bridal floor of sevengated Thebes! In your place he holds in his arms an earthly bride with child, and is happy! What has become of my mother's jealousy! Has even Hera's wrath become unmanned for this marriage with Semele? Where are the stings of your merciless gadfly? No heifer is now driven in seapanic over the deep – no herdsman Argus with a thick crop of eyes watches the latest bed of lecher Cronides?
§ 8.61 "But what is this palace of Olympos to me? I will go down to earth, I will leave my father's heaven and live in my own Thrace, I will no longer look on at my unhappy mother's wrongs and Zeus the wife-spoiler! If he ever comes to my country because he wants a Bistonian girl, he shall know what Ares is like when he is angry. I will take my Titan-destroying deathdealing spear and chase womanmad Cronion out of Thrace! I will use the excuse that he drags this maiden to his bed, I will be avenger self-appointed of the bed where I was born, because he has frequented earthborn brides and filled the bespangled heavens with his loves!
§ 8.73 "Goodbye Heaven – where mortals are at home! Shall I climb the pole? But Callisto circles about Olympos, and there shines the ring named after the highcrested Arcadian Bear. I hate the seven Pleiads in their courses – for in Olympos it irks me that Electra shows her light with Selene. Now why are you quiet? You persecuted Apollo in the womb of his mother Leto, and you leave Dionysos in peace? Hephaistos, you helped in the painful birth of Tritogeneia, and Zeus shall be his own midwife for the bastard son of a drab, more mighty still than Athena, and he shall produce him from his manly thigh – no need now for the pole-axe! Give place, Athena! Cease to cry up that rounded forehead as your birthbed! Dionysos puts into the shade the clever delivery of that teeming head! Sprung form a mortal stock, he shall be an Olympian like Athena, but self-delivered, and eclipsing the boast of Pallas the motherless.
§ 8.88 "But I am ashamed myself far more, when some mortal man shall say: Zeus granted battles to Ares, and merry-hearted cheer to Dionysos.' Well, I will leave the sky to the bastard brats of Cronides, and quit the heavens a banished god. Let Istros with his frozen flood receive its homeless monarch, before I see Ganymedes come here to pour the wine, that long-haired cowdrover, first in Pergamos then domiciled in Olympos, usurping the untouched cup of heavenly Hebe; before I can see Semele and Bacchos denizens of Olympos, and Ariadne's crown translated to the stars to run its course with Helios, to travel with misty Dawn. There I will stay, that I may never behold the sea-monster, the sickle of Perseus, the figure of Andromeda, the glare of Gorgon Medusa, whom Cronides will establish in Olympos by and by."
§ 8.103 He spoke, and disquieted the mind of selfborn Athena, and the more increased the wrath of jealous Hera. Swift leapt up envy, and wagging his crooked knees passed on his sidelong roads through the lower air: he moved like smoke to human eyes and thoughts, arming his boggart's mind for deceit and mischief."
...This seemed so uncalled for that it's sort of hilarious. Seriously, why is Zelus picking on our boy? What did Ares do? (This is why Zelus is getting a morally gray portrayal in the War Siblings 2027 story) I'm stuck imagining a group text later.
Athena: Were you drunk last night?
Ares: What are you talking about? I was with Dite and the kids.
Athena: That's not what we heard.
Hermes: You went sorta crazy. It was hilarious.
Athena: You started talking about how Hera couldn't keep Dad to herself and that you'd chase him out of Thrace if he ever tried to have a consort from there.
Artemis: I mean, it was pretty gross that he slept with Semele. That's his great-granddaughter. Ew.
Hephaestus: As if that's ever going to stop him.
Apollo: Ares, I'd suggest you get some bandages just to prepare for what's to come.
Hermes: Oh yeah. You are DEAD. I'm gonna dress in your cloak when you're gone.
Athena: It wouldn't fit you.
Hermes: It would if you tailored it. Pleeeease.
Ares: (texting, then stops)
Ares: Mom & Dad are here. I gotta go.
Athena: Nice knowing you.
